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My kittie is laying here watching the curser fly about, if you have any boat interest do check out the site bobbie mentioned. In the market for a shipping container ship, 300,000,000 crazy!
To Bobbie and the rest of the crew, I know this post is going to be a lot longer than I want it to be, but I just wanted to share with you all. I found AC website in October and with it I found the GO thread. At that time I was pretty busy getting ready for an auction and caring 24/7 for my mom so I bookmarked the site until I had a little more free time (that’s a laugh). Mom was in the hospital for a week in November with pneumonia. When she came home, her mobility and the dementia was much worse than when she went into the hospital. I had to spend a lot of time just sitting with her. She became very agitated when I left the room. So I started spending a lot of time on my laptop. I rediscovered this thread. At first I like so many other people, I read Bobbie’s original post and wanted to respond with my own experience with Mom and brushing her hair with her own toothbrush, but then I looked at the date of the original post and the number of responses and I was amazed. So I went to the end of the comments and backed up a few pages and started reading the comments from that point. I was totally hooked. Here were people living with the same problems I was dealing with and more. Because of advice received from Deef and others, I made myself arrange for a service to provide a few hours of respite care. It is only 12 hours a week, but it is amazing what a difference it makes to know that I have 12 hours free to take care of me. Part of that time is a few hours on Saturday night so that my husband and I can have a “date” because we both need the “we” time. I wanted to get to know all of you and experience the love and comradery I saw in this group. So I decided I would start at the beginning of this thread and read all the comments as well as trying to keep up on the more recent topics. At this point I am only to about 2600 on the comments, but the information I have already received is invaluable. I have laughed with you and I have cried with you. Both are tremendous releases. Thank you again for continuing with this thread and providing a safe place for burned out caregivers to vent and laugh and cry. Hugs to all. Barb
Well, they found the hiker in the park, he didn't make it. Only 55, no sign of fool play? Have to wait on an autopsy. I hope he had a heart attack, and went quick, out in the park doing what he loved.
Barb, that was a beautiful post. I am so happy you get some "me" time and "we" time with hubby. No matter how hard it is to juggle the bills I take a few dollars for James and I to have lunch at Burger King or Subway. It's the only "we" time we really have. Even running errands together can be fun because we talk about the things we dream of doing together one day. Shirley, I hope it was heart attack too and not foul play. I used to go to a park in Georgia to camp but I'm spooked now since a guy killed a woman in the woods there. Jen, the internet is wonderful to explore and dream. It's a nice outlet for me too. One of these days we will all meet at Bobbie's boat. Bobbie, keep those men on the straight and narrow!
I have to run to wally world to pick up a prescription. Have a nice evening everyone!
What a day! So tired I could sleep for a week. Mom went to daycare again today. That makes 2 days in a row with tomorrow off then 2 more days. I have someone coming to sit with her tomorrow from 12-7, so I won't have to get her to bed. I'm saving $$ by having her go 4 days instead of 3, but already I can see where it will do a number on me having to get her out the door 4 days a week and then getting her back home and feeding her and getting her to bed by myself on those days. I signed her up for a flu shot at Walgreens when I picked up my scripts. Of course she was a mess when I got her from daycare, so I had to take her home and put her down for a nap. After feeding her supper, that took 45 minutes, I bundled her up again and drove her to the pharmacy for her flu shot. What a hassle! Had to dig out the footrests for the wheelchair as she drags her feet and I have to wheel her backwards or do a wheely with the chair to keep her feet off the ground. Then it's practically lifting her off the chair and into the car. Then the process all over again to get her into the store and back to the car again and into the house! Needless to say, my patience is gone and then she won't open her mouth to take her night meds! She has this habit of clamping her mouth shut so well, that you can't even get water pass her lips!!! Very frustrating!! Barb, that was a great post!!! Keep reading! You'll find lots of ups and downs, black holes, tears, disagreements, frustration, and tons of fun and good times and great friendships that somehow last through it all!! Jen, did I tell you about my 5th kitty? Husband doesn't know about him yet. He has been in Mom's apartment for a month now and loving it. The kids are going to get him to the vets in a couple weeks and make sure he has no diseases to pass on to the other cats in the house. He was living outside and had belonged to a neighbor that no longer took care of him. A young mom that lived in the same apartment house as the former owner was feeding him and letting him into the cellar at night. he started coming into my yard this fall and would sit on my pool deck and drink the water from the pool cover. I started to feed him and cleaned him up br brushing him when I could. Then I put flea drops on him as he was covered! Poor thing was scrawny and dirty and so lovable. He has to be over 15 years old and is a bit wobbly either due to strokes or his ears which need treating. I let him into Mom's one cold day, and he settled in to stay. Now he is clean, putting some meat on his bones and following me around when he sees me. He seems to be deaf, not sure if it's permanent or do his ears, but it's a good thing, because he sleeps all day even if we are walking around him. I must have "sucker" printed on my forehead! Stormy, take care of yourself so you can get better. This cold thing is getting people good and the only way to get rid of it is with, I know, plenty of rest! Something most of us can not get. Bobbie, Keep those men straight! It's your boat!!! Austin, I keep trying to knit, but seem to fall asleep with my knitting in my lap lately! I'm taking a needle felting class at Webbs next month and wanted to take another for Norwegian purling, but may not be able too. Guess we'll be getting a storm early tomorrow morning and a possible 2-5" of the white stuff and freezing rain after! We've been very lucky so far! Klig, nice to meet you! Sounds like you have your hands full too. Can't reason with dementia. Just have to grin and bear it, or not! My patience isn't as good as it was 4 years ago, but I am able to overlook a lot of things Mom does now. I have to, or I would lose my sanity! Let us know how you are coping and if we can help with any issues you have problems with, let us know! Diane, Glad you get to go on a trip! It is always nice to get away from it all! Okay, my eyes are crossing here. Haven't slept well for 3 nights, so I think I will take something besides my restless leg med tonight.
Renarad, sorry about your mom. sometimes it just seem like its one thing right after another. How do we get so lucky? How I handle the over stressful days is to vent on here and Vent away! Plus, for relaxation, I try to use 'humor,' music or comedy movie sometimes online games help too. Respite break if possible. I hope this helps some n maybe one of these will work for you. Jsomebody, the peanut butter idea sound brilliant from Bobbie Also, if he has a toy that u can stuff some peanut butter in it that should keep him busy. Plus, maybe if you can stock-up on some Busy bones to keep him busy from Howling for fp for the next visits he may have. You can keep all that white stuff. Bobbie, I have never been a drinker n due to my illness n don't need to contribute to that for I take enough meds. I do take 10mg of Prozac n it helps somewhat. Boat porn, now that is funny... ;lol Yes, I do have a lot but it nice to hear that someone else understand what a caregiver goes through sometimes.
As for the mil, she passed her last lab n urinalysis came clear n she has competed her antibiotics. I told them she is still n pain n they recommend to get that Barium test done n if the Butt/Gutt dr cannot find anything to call them the Gyn dr for appt to get her Cat ultra sound? Well, she woke up crying n constantly complaining about her lower abdomen n today is the day we will start the Lo so cleaning he colon deal. I feel useless so I call her regular clinic physician off n set up appt for 1:30 today. I have no idea if he can do anything for her but I am scared she may not be able to handle this now from all the crying. the prep powder really don't start until 5:30pm so all I got to do is make sure she stays on time with the clear liquid non red diet until we see reg. dr, n just n case he say's do the test. Sure enough he checks on her tummy n I gave him a list of what has been going n he told her and me that she is going to have to bear the pain for he cannot give her something for pain for it could constipate her n mess up the test. However, he did make her appt with a "Roid" surgery dr if she will need one. He said, keep doing what the Butt/Gut dr n I should know the result within 2 hrs. I don't know about all that but, at least I know I have done everything I could do for her n now. Right Now, she is giving me the go-2-hell looks n she cannot believe I would do her this way. She loves to say hubby n I when she gets pist, "Live n learn." Oh Boy, breathe Deborah kay. Lord give me strength. Hubby seem a bit tired from teaching all those half-grown high school teenagers. You know that some of y'all have been their n done that as a teenager, thinking we were all grown n stuff. lol I feel sorry for hubby sometimes but then sometimes I don't. He at least he gets a break away M-F for hrs from the house even though it work. I only get 4 hr on Wed. n I am grateful when I can get her out the door. Well Crap! I work too! However it's not with $$$ yet, of course hubby don't make that much being a high school teacher either. Life, gotta luv it. ; ) I hope everyone can get some rest. Bobbie, the Molly n PC story was amazing, thanks. I am a dog n cat lover, oh shoot, I am sucker for animals. Lucylilac, don't ever sell yourself short for u r a caregiver n a 'full-time' worker plus health issues as well! You fit right on in with the craziness so glad u join the site. You mention about "peripheral care" for your mom, if u don't mind can u explain what is that for? Is it like a urine catheter or intravenous line for meds? Sorry your mom balance is not as it use to be but at least it sounded like all of y'all had a good time bowling. Plus, you r a mom too, give yourself a huge pat-on-the-back for I would if I could reach you. ; )
Hi All, Hope today is a better day than yesterday. Mom was tired yesterday and she didn’t get out of bed until about noon. That was a first for her. Usually if I can get her to sleep until 8:30, it’s a good day. (It probably would help if I could manage to get into bed before 1:00am) Anyway, when she did get up, she couldn’t stand up or walk so I managed to get her depend changed and put her robe on her. I was able to maneuver her into her wheelchair (normally she walks with assistance) and get her to the table to eat something. By this time it was 1 o’clock and my 3 hour respite caregiver was coming at 2. I got dressed to go run some errands and sat down with Mom to let her know that S. was coming to stay with her while I ran some errands. She said to me “who”. S. has been coming for about 4 weeks now. So S. arrives and I explain about Mom not doing as well today. The whole time Mom is looking daggers at me. She never likes it when I leave. It doesn’t matter who stays with her. I get into the car, start the engine, put it into gear and nothing happens. I try all the gears, drive and reverse, nothing. I turn off the engine and call my husband. We were going to meet for coffee while I was out. He is able to get away from work, picks me up (Mom was really not happy that I left a second time), we take the cars keys to the mechanic so he can tow the car and see what is wrong with it. I hate having car trouble. I didn’t get any of my errands done. I did however get to have an early dinner with my husband and spend time with him. We get back home and S. tells me that Mom wouldn’t do any of her exercises, wouldn’t even allow her to get her washed up. That is one of the primary reasons that I have a caregiver come. To help do the physical bathing for Mom that is getting harder for me to bathe as unsteady as she is. Mom is still staring daggers at me, but at least she is up and walking again. So I was sitting at the table, using my laptop and Mom comes and sits next to me. I ask her if I can get her anything and she just stares at me. I finally figure out that she wants me to leave the computer and go into the living room with her and sit down on the couch while she sits in her recliner. I guess she is afraid I am going to leave again. At least when I got her ready and put her in bed, I got a small smile and an “I love you”. That goes a long way toward making things more bearable. Hope everyone’s day goes smoothly. Hugs to all. Barb
Trying to accept my decisions...that I asked mom to come live here...and just be happy about it... Just send the anger and bordom away... lalala... and all the other crap going on-it is all just part of life... so I should accept it-until it changes because I an helpless against it. Stuck. There really is no way out. So why have anger? Or resentment... It is what it is. Just accept it and keep moving on. Is this the black hole? So, should I go take a nap or go hem the pants I just bought mother? I guess I will hem the pants...even sleep can't take me away. God help us all. Why does it have to be this way? Stop asking why...just go with it...don't fight it. You can't beat this and can't win. And then, when she goes-you will have guilt over having feelt this way. People say to just have an attitude of gratitude to get through these feelings-do they know how much energy that takes? I try, I really do. And, I know I don't have it as bad as some here...but it is hard to see that as a good thing I guess. I am really in a hole today. I just gotta keep plugging away... Thanks for listening.
Thanks Bobbie, Diane, DEb and everyone else for the good advice. I am going to try breathing deeply, maybe mediatation, and a good movie. This year Mom has had a broken wrist, and fractured back, and multiple utis. It never ends and my nerves are on edge. Mom will be 104 in May and just keeps going strong. With her moderate dementia and stubborness, it is never a dull moment. Wish I could have a good cry, but I can't. Really good to feel the support and comraderie here.
Deefer, my cats will come to me when I get very upset if I am raising my voice (Usually at the end of day).My Siamese will start screaming at me n my part-Hawaiian Blu cat will start touching me with his paw n gets in my face to calm down or that is what I think they r doing. Mil has 3 dogs here for one is her's so they giver her lots of attention too. It is as if they know something is not quite right if that make sense. Hopefully your mom won't need anymore antibiotics for that UTI is just insane! Good luck. Stormy, sorry to hear hubby n you r sickie poo with the cold. Drink plenty of fluids n hope u two get to feeling better real soon. Dtflex, You seem to be more busy than I sometimes. It seems like any caregiver don't have it easy one bit no matter what their situation may be. Our weather is rainy n temp is starting to drop too but not as cold as y'all. Bobbie, I haven't had the opportunity to have the privilege of the gross out eating habit but thanks for the future tip. However, I can say I have had the pleasure like someone else (fp) for the mil will let it rip n it will be loud n I mean anywhere! I hope u can get the carpenter all set n from pouting so that he can do a good job. I never been a big boat fan unless it has a motor. I like my feet touching the ground. As for your boat, it is your home n it don't need any fancy-shiny crap to be a home, it is what u put into it, n that would be the hard-work n love.
I forgot the update on mil. No test got done, for someone to be so petite she sure is full of shit, literately! The lower area still showed poo. This may be why she was hurting so bad n her lower abdomen for she may have been constipated n she has been telling me her BM is fine? I will put her back on twice a day instead of once with her Miralax powder. So, she will drink Ensures all day today n tonight a small bottle of Citrate sodium. Thursday clear liquids all day plus, the prep kit again for the freaking 3rd time for the Barium X-ray for Friday at 11:15. We still need to find out about her 'roids.' She did pretty good today n I have to say I would love to have more of those Xanax 0.25mg for her because she was actually nice. But they were only two pills n it was just for the procedure. Now, she telling me she don't have any pain n she don't feel like she needs the test done so here we go again. She has been taking roid prescription suppositories twice a day over a month. She is going for I have already gave up my chance to go to Florida to check on my own dad n my family n the Mecum Car Auction for a mini break. Maybe, if everything goes okay I can leave Saturday n come back Monday being its a holiday here for MLK day. It is almost a 6 hr drive too but it may be worth it. If I could drive n the dark I would leave Friday night but, I have troubling seeing at night. It seems to always be something. gotta luv it.
Deefer, Oh feel for you n all that lifting has to be bad on your back besides your nerves wearing out with her clamping her jaws shut. I don't see how you do it. Can she still suck threw a straw? Maybe a cup that has a swirly straw connected to it like the ones u get for kids. Then mix it with juice n maybe she will be distracted by the swirly straw as she sips her meds down. Try to get some rest between those little respite breaks n your back too. As for being a sucker, you have it stamped all on your face too n be proud of it for someone got to give that grown kitty some loving. I hope he passes his test from the vet n he may have lost his hearing due to ear-mites or maybe he has an ear infection n just needs some antibiotics? Freezing rain n snow OMG! I need to stop complaining about some nasty wet rain but it does seem like everyone rain water comes down r house where we have a few small sink holes. Btw, don't use cat litter to fill the holes up for when it rains again it turns into mush. I hope u r able to get some good z's.
Barb, Welcome back. Every little break you can get will help n alone time, I don't know what that is anymore. However, I am glad that you r able to squeeze it in n I hope no major problem is going on with your car. I hate have a car break down too for it messes up your whole schedule n plan n not like you get too many to take care of things or time for ourselves. Your mom is a little like mine for it seems she wants u all to herself. I have in my living room where she has a recliner that sits about 4ft across from me while i am using my laptop. This way i can do whatever on laptop while she stares at me which creeps me out but she seems to be content so I can stay content while it last. Now, sometimes she will even tell hubby n I that she is going to her room to watch t.v. so we can have some alone time. She amazes with her Alzhermier to even think such a thought but really she is getting nap that she don't ever do! If I go to the bathroom n not back within a few minuets she will be looking. When I go to grocery store where I get our medicine which is no more than twice a month, I will stop by n speak with my ex-working buddies. However, that can only last a couple of minuets for she will start complaining so, I feel for ya. n hang in their for we understand.
Hi all, nothing to report, haven't been to see mom in 2 days, transportation issues and prior commitments but I know she's safe and probably won't remember when I was last there anyway but I do need to check and make sure she's wearing her hearing aids. I hate not being able to go every day to check on them as she is starting to be less attentive about wearing them. And the ALF won't take responsibility for them at this level. LilDeb, when I said "peripheral care" for my mom, I meant in the sense that she is not living in my house and I'm not a 24/7 caregiver like you all. I do the visiting, taking care of her finances, shop for her fruit and snacks, take care of the cat...I just used the word peripheral as that's sort of what it seems to me when I'm not her full time caregiver. I truly don't know if I could be...what you guys go through would send me screaming into the street! Well, I hope everybody is doing well and staying sane. Will write more when I have time and something to say! Love to all
Mame thouse people who say to have gratitude probably are not hands on caregivers and you won't have guilt after they are gone because you know and your friends here know you have given every fiber of yourself to her care-I do not have any guilt feelings for the husband or my mother even though I snapped at her the last time I saw her before she got sick and died-but I was in that hospital room for a whole week night and day and only to eat and use the restroom and took walks outside at times.
I should be in bed already as I have to get Mom up for daycare, but This is the first chance I had to read the thread today. Got up to 4 " of snow. The kids were home, so the 4 of us got everything cleaned up before Mom was awake for the day. She had today off from daycare and someone came to sit with her from 12-7, so I didn't have to get her to bed tonight. I did manage 4 loads of laundry today and still have to put her things away in the morning. My sil was going to help me shampoo the den rug this morning, but the snow killed that idea! Barb, sorry you had a bad day! I don't like to make plans as they always seem to get screwed up! Whether it's a doctor appointment for myself, or my husband and I make plans to do something for the day, something always gets in the way at the last minute. Mame, yep, that's the black hole! We've all been there and lots of times together! I ask myself all the time why I ever made the decision to listen to my sibs and quit my job 5 years ago. Now it's just my stubbornness that keeps me going down this path. I do have help on the weekends and Mom is in daycare 4 days a week, but I still have 2 apartments to take care of, 2 sets of bills to deal with, extra meals, 2 sets of laundry, all her meds and my 6 to keep track of and now I have 2 sets of paperwork to get together for tax time! It never ends! No wonder my mind is so tired all the time, yet I can't sleep. As for gratitude... That will come when this is all over. Right now I'm just grateful to get through another day, and very grateful for all of you that truly understand this life. Rena, If I started crying, I would never stop! I've been catching old movies on TCM lately. They are so much better than what is produced now. Lildeb, Glad MIL doesn't have the UTI anymore. Hope everything else gets straightened out. Mom is too far gone to notice if anyone is in the room with her now, but in the beginning she used to be one step behind me all the time! Hope you get to Florida! Lucy, don't sell yourself short! You don't have your mom at home, but still have a lot on your plate. When Mom was in rehab twice, it was worse than having her at home. Going every day was harder than having her at home and you are still paying her bills etc. so you are in the thick of it! Austin, Amen on your post! Okay, 12:30 AM here and I need to get to bed. Night everyone!
Morning all, Interesting start to my day today. I heard Mom starting to wake up on the monitor I have in her room. So I went upstairs to check on her. When I went into her bedroom she was sitting naked on her bed and somehow she had managed to get her nightgown wrong side out and her arm through the neck hole and I’m still not sure what hole her head was in. I almost started to laugh at her, but managed to control myself. Unfortunately her wet depend was off also, between the covers and her bed was wet. Apparently she woke up during the night and I did not hear her. I don’t know if a bed alarm would register that or not. So I got her dressed, managed to get her in her wheel chair. Today apparently is a no walking morning? While she was eating breakfast, I stripped her bed. That was one load of laundry I hadn’t planned on today. Oh well, it could have been worse. Lildeb, Hope your mil gets her test done on Friday. That has definitely been a lot of work for you. I know what you mean. If I even leave the room for a minute Mom is up looking for me when she is able to walk. Even if I tell her, Mom I’m going downstairs to put clothes in the dryer, she still has no comprehension. One day I went downstairs and I had barely made it down the stairs and I could hear her get up. I listened to make sure she didn’t fall. I could hear her coming toward the stairs and before I could get up the stairs, she was already at the stairs with the front of the walker on the first step going down. I got her back up and settled down. The next day I installed a baby gate at the top of the stairs. Still don’t know what is wrong with my car. The garage came with the tow truck to pick it up; they got in the car, started it up and drove it back to the garage. They still haven’t been able to find anything wrong. The thing is I know it wasn’t just me, because my husband tried to drive it also and wouldn’t go into gear for him either. I just don’t want to get stuck somewhere especially if I have Mom with me. Deef, I don’t know how you have enough hours in the day. I have thought about day care for Mom but I’m not sure if that is an option anymore. What levels of dementia will they usually accept, do you know? Mame, hang in there. I know what you mean about guilt. I feel guilty when I even think about looking at full care facilities for Mom. After all, I promised Dad that I would always take care of Mom. Even though logically I know that taking care of Mom involves a lot more than just the physical aspect. Well I hope everyone has a smooth day. Hugs to all. Barb
Barb, Mom is late stage dementia and has PD. She is in a wheelchair and can only walk with assistance. She is best early in the day.. She is incontinent both ways, but will go if she is put on the toilet every few hours. The nurse at daycare feeds her lunch everyday as she can't do it by herself. I'm very lucky that the daycare is a half mile from home and the employees are great! I'm not sure if just any adult day health would accept mom, but they are very good to her. Keep a close eye on your mom with the walker. Mine fell and got hurt badly ,twice when she was using a walker. She never got the hang of using one. As for finding your mom in bed that way, get used to it. Depends never kept Mom dry. try the internet for Wellness Briefs. I've tried them all and there is nothing out there that compares in price and absorbancy. I have to put a pair of mom's cotton undies over her diaper and I put her arms over the sheet and tie the end to the bedrail in order to keep her from picking them apart during the night. She has become used to it now and is better about it. I put pillows under her sheet on either side of her also. This keeps her from getting up on her own, which she can no longer do. Thank God! As for your mom being on the second floor and you on the first, you will need to change that soon. Alarm pads are good, but by the time you hear them, the damage may already be done. People with dementia get easily conditioned to situations after a while. Your mom may not like pillows under her sheets at first, but she will get used to them when she realizes you will come to her and she needn't get up on her own. Mom no longer is able to change her position in bed without help, so when I here her holding her breath in the morning, I go and turn her on her side and she goes back to sleep until I get her up. I had plans to go to Kohl's today to get new sneakers for walking and get lunch at Ruby Tuesday's. Yes I made plans, and here I sit! Husband in and out of the bathroom, so I guess we will try for tomorrow. If he's not feeling better, I'm going by myself! Guess I will shampoo Mom's rug!
Hey Deef, Thanks for the info about daycare. I will start looking again. I got a list from the local council on aging. I will call a few and check them out. Also, I did want to clarify one thing. Mom is on the first floor of her ranch home. Downstairs is the partially finished basement which is the area that my husband and I have our bedroom. Unfortunately that is also where the laundry room is. I will try the pillows on her bed and definitely find the Wellness briefs. Thanks again for the info.
Barb, must be hard for you being in her home. I'm lucky that our apartments are side by side and have a connecting door. I'm only 15 -25 feet away at all times and she is strapped into her wheelchair that cannot be tipped over. She also can't maneuver it by herself. That's a blessing in itself. But we do have to Mom proof every thing as she has a long reach and will grab anything she sees, like electrical cords, someone's drink, cellphones, knives, dirty diapers, anything in her line of sight! It's her OCD and years of housework, yard work and fixing anything that needed fixing. Now she does the opposite. Destroys everything she gets in her hands! I'm sure she thinks she's fixing, but she takes apart! Pulls off buttons, yanks on the seams of her clothes, tears books and papers, eats napkins, pulls covers off the furniture and on and on! Like having 10 two year olds in the same room! As for daycare, see if you have an elder care service in your area. They will pay so much for your Mom's daycare and she will have a copay, otherwise it will cost at least $55/day. Usually they come out for a visit to see about her finances and a nurse will come and evaluate her. They also can approve home care hours so that you can get out. They have been a life saver for us. Got to go get Mom. Didn't get to sleep until 2:30 am, but not feeling it yet. Just got her old wheelchair refitted with a new seat and a self-releasing seat belt. They came in this afternoon, so I did that instead of the rug. also made a pot of chicken soup for the cold weather coming in tomorrow. Off and running again!
VBarb, I will laugh out loud for you for how n the world could she manage to get her head through sleeve is a mystery. Luckily she didn't hurt herself while getting dressed. Lucky we have no up/down stairs in our house n that is very smart thinking of the baby gate to block the door. As for your car, maybe it was just a little frozen from all that cold weather going around. 42 here n that is frigging cold enough for my wuss self. Deef, I got the mil wearing xs pull up depends while she is on this prep stuff for Friday. I told her they were adult pull-ups panties so it working now n I am going to go with the flow. Last Tuesday was a mess all over the place n clothes. I am glad that your mom is getting treated well at the Daycare. I luv Ruby Tuesday n I don't blame you, go by yourself for you well deserve it! I hope your hubby is okay.
Lucy, thanks for I got that all wrong. I hope u get the transportation issue cleared up. Beings you know your mom is at a safe place then, their is nothing wrong in taking a break from seeing her every day. Austin, you were human just like everyone else here when you went off. Overly tired, stressed out n worrying n not to mention the hospitals are not the coziest place to be n especially that you were their for a week! I hope you are able to find peace within your soul n some much needed rest n time for yourself.
Mil is getting restless n agitated n I cannot blame her one bit with all this running back/forth to bathroom. Okay, walking to the bathroom shoot, y'all get the picture. We will have to get up real early for the last dose of the med she has to take for the procedure. I am going have to fill myself up with lots of caffeine for the bright n early AM. At least they mention a little sunshine tomorrow n that will cheer her up somewhat. I'll try to send some to guys/gals with all that frigging snow. br...
Where is everybody??? Shampooed mom's rug after daycare. Gave her something to supervise. But I screwed up royally! Got the machine all set and went over the rug really well with many passes. Couldn't figure out why I wasn't smelling the Fabreeze rug soap. Oh well, I finished shampooing and started to clean up the machine. As I was wiping it down I noticed that I didn't turn the soap dispenser on!!! !@%$#@! So I filled the machine again and made another pass with the soap ON this time!! I may do one more pass before I bring Mom home this afternoon, but first we are going to Kohls and Ruby Tuesday's for lunch!! It will feel good to get out somewhere. Bobbie, Are you working hard or just hiding out? Jen ,what's up? Going to send you some cardinal in the snow pictures. Stormy, you feeling any better? Austin, Lilly, Barb,Mame, Rena ,Diane,Miz, Kuli, and all those I have forgotten, hope you are all well!
Hi all, Hope everyone is doing fine today. Rough night last night. Mom was up pretty much all night. Nothing wrong, I guess just the dementia in high gear. She kept messing with her depends and trying to take them off. I had to change her twice and the bed once. Then she was playing with them and the covers all night long. I think I finally heard her doze about 7:00 am. I don't know if I should try switching her to pajamas instead of gowns or what to try. This is getting to be more frequent so maybe I should ask the doctor about something to calm her. Right now the only medications she is on is for high blood pressure. I wish I could say that. Deef, we have a bird feeder that we fill in the winter. We love to watch the all the birds when it snows, especially the cardinals. Mom has a collection of cardinal themed items, clothes, dishes etc. even the license plate on her car. Hope everyone has a good day.
Barb, sorry about the all night ordeal with your Mom. I think I would see about some sleeping pills. Not getting to sleep at night was the hardest part for me. Had to get the Doctor to make a house call (which took a call from a state advocate to get them to do it) to get some pain medication for my husband at the end stage of his fight with cancer. Hospice isn't available here. He got one dose of pain medication, and died that night. I was sound asleep, but was the first night I had gotten more than a couple hours of sleep in weeks. I still have all kinds of guilt about that, even though I know I shouldn't. We have cardinals here in West Texas too. Love to watch them at the feeder.
I am in cleaning mode here...got both bathrooms done before mom woke up! She is very groggy today-but probably cause she was up chatting away at 5am till ?. So, she slept late cause she was tired. If mom doesn't wake me-the dog does! So, I decided to get up and do something....maybe it will make me feel better. My sis said she is bringing us all fish for dinner tongiht! (Must admit that I sent her a text and asked her if she would...but she did say yes!) Mom loves Fish on Friday! (Catholic to the hilt!) We have Cardianals here too. I have been leaving the feeders empty-trying to get rid of the deer who come each night and clean out the feeders! I am hoping they will see I am not filling them and quit coming...then I can fill them again for the birds! I have had them come in past winters-but not every night! Maybe I told you but hubby got up at 4am the other morning to get a drink of water and when he came back to bed he said we have diners! Two deer-banging away on the feeders so the seed will come out! So, I know it is deer-plus the hoof prints in the snow... I just can't afford to refill every day! I suppose I could take them down at night but that would be a pain. Maybe that is what I will have to do tho cause I hate to let the birds down... Slowly creeping out of the hole I was in. Sometimes it pains me to read about what we are all going through...other times, I can read but don't have the energy to write. So, sorry that I am absent at times. Hubby going thru some health and work stuff and it may just be time for a change which brings great anxiety to us both-with me making no $$... You know the drill. UGH. Anyway-it is Friday and I have hope mom may get a visitor this weekend! I am not holding my breath tho! Hang in there everybody! Love-Mame
Barb, Mom's doctor started her on Remeron to relax her for sleep. Said it was like drinking a glass of wine before bed. Then she graduated to Seroquel, 1 at bedtime. At first she was supposed to take one during the day, but it made her way too loopy. Now I have to give her 2 and most nights she sleeps for 10 hours, as she will sometimes hold her mouth shut tight and puff her cheeks out until her mouth bows back open. If she's agitated she will do this early, but most of the time it's a sporadic thing she does all night off and on. Consequently it wares her out. The good thing is when I roll her onto her side in the early AM, she will go back to sleep for a couple more hours. She always had great sleep habits her entire life, so I think that is still ingrained in her. As for your mom messing with her diapers, that's par for the course and pj's or gowns won't make a difference. Try putting her regular undies on top and she may leave them alone. Get a bed rail for the side of the bed she sleeps on, or if it's a twin bed, get one for each side. Then get larger top sheets and put her arms over the sheets and tie the ends to the bed rails so she can't get under to the diapers. Believe me when I say you do not want to get up and find a wet one shredded all over the bed!!! You may have to keep an eye on her for a few nights after taking these measures, but she will eventually get used to it and you won't wake up to more messes. It's really hard trying to find ways to deal with these problems in the beginning, but you learn as you go. Many of these measures I have learned from the 3 CNA's that help with Mom and have 10 to 15 years each working with dementia patients. These things they cannot do in a facility because they are considered restraining the patient. That's the main reason why they use "chemical" restarints. Definitely talk to her doctor about something to help her sleep. Hope some of this will help! Mame, cleaning is something I do when I get angry at my husband or myself! Gets rid of my aggressions and gets the house straightened out, otherwise I would just let things pile up. Glad it's helping you feel better! as for bird seed, we used to have more feeders out, but can no longer afford to buy as much as we used to. The last really cold and snowy winter, we were going through 35lbs or more a week! we have at least 8 pairs of cardinals here all year. When I stayed with Rip in Seattle a year and a half ago, I saw my first Stellar Jay. Gorgeous! Nothing like the blue jays here on the east coast. Lildeb, Hope you Mil's tests went well and you get to go to Florida. Jen I will try to get those pics to you tonight Bobbie!!!! Got to go feed Mom!
Hi Y'all, Forgive me but I'm venting before I read the latest posts. Mom has been whinning nonstop for the last hour. She swears she is dying and needs to go to the hospital. It's just another anxiety attack. Her BP and pulse are good. I put her oxygen on her just to shut her up. Now she swears she smells a strong chemical odor. It just doesn't stop!!!!!!!!! SHe has been pretty far out all day. When I came home today she was so pleased to tell me the caregiver was my cousin....not. I am so looking forward to getting away from this madness on Monday. Shit, now she swears she hears and ambulance coming for her. God give me patience and hurry!!!!!!!!
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I know this post is going to be a lot longer than I want it to be, but I just wanted to share with you all. I found AC website in October and with it I found the GO thread. At that time I was pretty busy getting ready for an auction and caring 24/7 for my mom so I bookmarked the site until I had a little more free time (that’s a laugh).
Mom was in the hospital for a week in November with pneumonia. When she came home, her mobility and the dementia was much worse than when she went into the hospital. I had to spend a lot of time just sitting with her. She became very agitated when I left the room. So I started spending a lot of time on my laptop. I rediscovered this thread. At first I like so many other people, I read Bobbie’s original post and wanted to respond with my own experience with Mom and brushing her hair with her own toothbrush, but then I looked at the date of the original post and the number of responses and I was amazed. So I went to the end of the comments and backed up a few pages and started reading the comments from that point. I was totally hooked. Here were people living with the same problems I was dealing with and more. Because of advice received from Deef and others, I made myself arrange for a service to provide a few hours of respite care. It is only 12 hours a week, but it is amazing what a difference it makes to know that I have 12 hours free to take care of me. Part of that time is a few hours on Saturday night so that my husband and I can have a “date” because we both need the “we” time.
I wanted to get to know all of you and experience the love and comradery I saw in this group. So I decided I would start at the beginning of this thread and read all the comments as well as trying to keep up on the more recent topics. At this point I am only to about 2600 on the comments, but the information I have already received is invaluable. I have laughed with you and I have cried with you. Both are tremendous releases.
Thank you again for continuing with this thread and providing a safe place for burned out caregivers to vent and laugh and cry.
Hugs to all.
Barb
Shirley, I hope it was heart attack too and not foul play. I used to go to a park in Georgia to camp but I'm spooked now since a guy killed a woman in the woods there.
Jen, the internet is wonderful to explore and dream. It's a nice outlet for me too. One of these days we will all meet at Bobbie's boat.
Bobbie, keep those men on the straight and narrow!
I have to run to wally world to pick up a prescription. Have a nice evening everyone!
Love ya,
Diane
I signed her up for a flu shot at Walgreens when I picked up my scripts. Of course she was a mess when I got her from daycare, so I had to take her home and put her down for a nap. After feeding her supper, that took 45 minutes, I bundled her up again and drove her to the pharmacy for her flu shot. What a hassle! Had to dig out the footrests for the wheelchair as she drags her feet and I have to wheel her backwards or do a wheely with the chair to keep her feet off the ground. Then it's practically lifting her off the chair and into the car. Then the process all over again to get her into the store and back to the car again and into the house! Needless to say, my patience is gone and then she won't open her mouth to take her night meds! She has this habit of clamping her mouth shut so well, that you can't even get water pass her lips!!! Very frustrating!!
Barb, that was a great post!!! Keep reading! You'll find lots of ups and downs, black holes, tears, disagreements, frustration, and tons of fun and good times and great friendships that somehow last through it all!!
Jen, did I tell you about my 5th kitty? Husband doesn't know about him yet. He has been in Mom's apartment for a month now and loving it. The kids are going to get him to the vets in a couple weeks and make sure he has no diseases to pass on to the other cats in the house. He was living outside and had belonged to a neighbor that no longer took care of him. A young mom that lived in the same apartment house as the former owner was feeding him and letting him into the cellar at night. he started coming into my yard this fall and would sit on my pool deck and drink the water from the pool cover. I started to feed him and cleaned him up br brushing him when I could. Then I put flea drops on him as he was covered! Poor thing was scrawny and dirty and so lovable. He has to be over 15 years old and is a bit wobbly either due to strokes or his ears which need treating.
I let him into Mom's one cold day, and he settled in to stay. Now he is clean, putting some meat on his bones and following me around when he sees me. He seems to be deaf, not sure if it's permanent or do his ears, but it's a good thing, because he sleeps all day even if we are walking around him. I must have "sucker" printed on my forehead!
Stormy, take care of yourself so you can get better. This cold thing is getting people good and the only way to get rid of it is with, I know, plenty of rest! Something most of us can not get.
Bobbie, Keep those men straight! It's your boat!!!
Austin, I keep trying to knit, but seem to fall asleep with my knitting in my lap lately! I'm taking a needle felting class at Webbs next month and wanted to take another for Norwegian purling, but may not be able too. Guess we'll be getting a storm early tomorrow morning and a possible 2-5" of the white stuff and freezing rain after! We've been very lucky so far!
Klig, nice to meet you! Sounds like you have your hands full too. Can't reason with dementia. Just have to grin and bear it, or not! My patience isn't as good as it was 4 years ago, but I am able to overlook a lot of things Mom does now. I have to, or I would lose my sanity! Let us know how you are coping and if we can help with any issues you have problems with, let us know!
Diane, Glad you get to go on a trip! It is always nice to get away from it all!
Okay, my eyes are crossing here. Haven't slept well for 3 nights, so I think I will take something besides my restless leg med tonight.
Jsomebody, the peanut butter idea sound brilliant from Bobbie Also, if he has a toy that u can stuff some peanut butter in it that should keep him busy. Plus, maybe if you can stock-up on some Busy bones to keep him busy from Howling for fp for the next visits he may have. You can keep all that white stuff.
Bobbie, I have never been a drinker n due to my illness n don't need to contribute to that for I take enough meds. I do take 10mg of Prozac n it helps somewhat. Boat porn, now that is funny... ;lol Yes, I do have a lot but it nice to hear that someone else understand what a caregiver goes through sometimes.
As for the mil, she passed her last lab n urinalysis came clear n she has competed her antibiotics. I told them she is still n pain n they recommend to get that Barium test done n if the Butt/Gutt dr cannot find anything to call them the Gyn dr for appt to get her Cat ultra sound? Well, she woke up crying n constantly complaining about her lower abdomen n today is the day we will start the Lo so cleaning he colon deal. I feel useless so I call her regular clinic physician off n set up appt for 1:30 today. I have no idea if he can do anything for her but I am scared she may not be able to handle this now from all the crying. the prep powder really don't start until 5:30pm so all I got to do is make sure she stays on time with the clear liquid non red diet until we see reg. dr, n just n case he say's do the test.
Sure enough he checks on her tummy n I gave him a list of what has been going n he told her and me that she is going to have to bear the pain for he cannot give her something for pain for it could constipate her n mess up the test. However, he did make her appt with a "Roid" surgery dr if she will need one. He said, keep doing what the Butt/Gut dr n I should know the result within 2 hrs. I don't know about all that but, at least I know I have done everything I could do for her n now. Right Now, she is giving me the go-2-hell looks n she cannot believe I would do her this way. She loves to say hubby n I when she gets pist, "Live n learn." Oh Boy, breathe Deborah kay. Lord give me strength. Hubby seem a bit tired from teaching all those half-grown high school teenagers. You know that some of y'all have been their n done that as a teenager, thinking we were all grown n stuff. lol
I feel sorry for hubby sometimes but then sometimes I don't. He at least he gets a break away M-F for hrs from the house even though it work. I only get 4 hr on Wed. n I am grateful when I can get her out the door. Well Crap! I work too! However it's not with $$$ yet, of course hubby don't make that much being a high school teacher either. Life, gotta luv it. ; )
I hope everyone can get some rest.
Bobbie, the Molly n PC story was amazing, thanks. I am a dog n cat lover, oh shoot, I am sucker for animals.
Lucylilac, don't ever sell yourself short for u r a caregiver n a 'full-time' worker plus health issues as well! You fit right on in with the craziness so glad u join the site. You mention about "peripheral care" for your mom, if u don't mind can u explain what is that for? Is it like a urine catheter or intravenous line for meds? Sorry your mom balance is not as it use to be but at least it sounded like all of y'all had a good time bowling. Plus, you r a mom too, give yourself a huge pat-on-the-back for I would if I could reach you. ; )
Hope today is a better day than yesterday. Mom was tired yesterday and she didn’t get out of bed until about noon. That was a first for her. Usually if I can get her to sleep until 8:30, it’s a good day. (It probably would help if I could manage to get into bed before 1:00am) Anyway, when she did get up, she couldn’t stand up or walk so I managed to get her depend changed and put her robe on her. I was able to maneuver her into her wheelchair (normally she walks with assistance) and get her to the table to eat something. By this time it was 1 o’clock and my 3 hour respite caregiver was coming at 2. I got dressed to go run some errands and sat down with Mom to let her know that S. was coming to stay with her while I ran some errands. She said to me “who”. S. has been coming for about 4 weeks now. So S. arrives and I explain about Mom not doing as well today. The whole time Mom is looking daggers at me. She never likes it when I leave. It doesn’t matter who stays with her.
I get into the car, start the engine, put it into gear and nothing happens. I try all the gears, drive and reverse, nothing. I turn off the engine and call my husband. We were going to meet for coffee while I was out. He is able to get away from work, picks me up (Mom was really not happy that I left a second time), we take the cars keys to the mechanic so he can tow the car and see what is wrong with it. I hate having car trouble.
I didn’t get any of my errands done. I did however get to have an early dinner with my husband and spend time with him.
We get back home and S. tells me that Mom wouldn’t do any of her exercises, wouldn’t even allow her to get her washed up. That is one of the primary reasons that I have a caregiver come. To help do the physical bathing for Mom that is getting harder for me to bathe as unsteady as she is. Mom is still staring daggers at me, but at least she is up and walking again.
So I was sitting at the table, using my laptop and Mom comes and sits next to me. I ask her if I can get her anything and she just stares at me. I finally figure out that she wants me to leave the computer and go into the living room with her and sit down on the couch while she sits in her recliner. I guess she is afraid I am going to leave again.
At least when I got her ready and put her in bed, I got a small smile and an “I love you”. That goes a long way toward making things more bearable.
Hope everyone’s day goes smoothly.
Hugs to all.
Barb
Stormy, sorry to hear hubby n you r sickie poo with the cold. Drink plenty of fluids n hope u two get to feeling better real soon.
Dtflex, You seem to be more busy than I sometimes. It seems like any caregiver don't have it easy one bit no matter what their situation may be. Our weather is rainy n temp is starting to drop too but not as cold as y'all.
Bobbie, I haven't had the opportunity to have the privilege of the gross out eating habit but thanks for the future tip. However, I can say I have had the pleasure like someone else (fp) for the mil will let it rip n it will be loud n I mean anywhere! I hope u can get the carpenter all set n from pouting so that he can do a good job. I never been a big boat fan unless it has a motor. I like my feet touching the ground. As for your boat, it is your home n it don't need any fancy-shiny crap to be a home, it is what u put into it, n that would be the hard-work n love.
So, she will drink Ensures all day today n tonight a small bottle of Citrate sodium. Thursday clear liquids all day plus, the prep kit again for the freaking 3rd time for the Barium X-ray for Friday at 11:15. We still need to find out about her 'roids.' She did pretty good today n I have to say I would love to have more of those Xanax 0.25mg for her because she was actually nice. But they were only two pills n it was just for the procedure. Now, she telling me she don't have any pain n she don't feel like she needs the test done so here we go again. She has been taking roid prescription suppositories twice a day over a month. She is going for I have already gave up my chance to go to Florida to check on my own dad n my family n the Mecum Car Auction for a mini break. Maybe, if everything goes okay I can leave Saturday n come back Monday being its a holiday here for MLK day. It is almost a 6 hr drive too but it may be worth it. If I could drive n the dark I would leave Friday night but, I have troubling seeing at night. It seems to always be something. gotta luv it.
Barb, Welcome back. Every little break you can get will help n alone time, I don't know what that is anymore. However, I am glad that you r able to squeeze it in n I hope no major problem is going on with your car. I hate have a car break down too for it messes up your whole schedule n plan n not like you get too many to take care of things or time for ourselves. Your mom is a little like mine for it seems she wants u all to herself. I have in my living room where she has a recliner that sits about 4ft across from me while i am using my laptop. This way i can do whatever on laptop while she stares at me which creeps me out but she seems to be content so I can stay content while it last. Now, sometimes she will even tell hubby n I that she is going to her room to watch t.v. so we can have some alone time. She amazes with her Alzhermier to even think such a thought but really she is getting nap that she don't ever do! If I go to the bathroom n not back within a few minuets she will be looking. When I go to grocery store where I get our medicine which is no more than twice a month, I will stop by n speak with my ex-working buddies. However, that can only last a couple of minuets for she will start complaining so, I feel for ya. n hang in their for we understand.
LilDeb, when I said "peripheral care" for my mom, I meant in the sense that she is not living in my house and I'm not a 24/7 caregiver like you all. I do the visiting, taking care of her finances, shop for her fruit and snacks, take care of the cat...I just used the word peripheral as that's sort of what it seems to me when I'm not her full time caregiver. I truly don't know if I could be...what you guys go through would send me screaming into the street! Well, I hope everybody is doing well and staying sane. Will write more when I have time and something to say! Love to all
My sil was going to help me shampoo the den rug this morning, but the snow killed that idea!
Barb, sorry you had a bad day! I don't like to make plans as they always seem to get screwed up! Whether it's a doctor appointment for myself, or my husband and I make plans to do something for the day, something always gets in the way at the last minute.
Mame, yep, that's the black hole! We've all been there and lots of times together! I ask myself all the time why I ever made the decision to listen to my sibs and quit my job 5 years ago. Now it's just my stubbornness that keeps me going down this path. I do have help on the weekends and Mom is in daycare 4 days a week, but I still have 2 apartments to take care of, 2 sets of bills to deal with, extra meals, 2 sets of laundry, all her meds and my 6 to keep track of and now I have 2 sets of paperwork to get together for tax time! It never ends! No wonder my mind is so tired all the time, yet I can't sleep.
As for gratitude... That will come when this is all over. Right now I'm just grateful to get through another day, and very grateful for all of you that truly understand this life.
Rena, If I started crying, I would never stop! I've been catching old movies on TCM lately. They are so much better than what is produced now. Lildeb, Glad MIL doesn't have the UTI anymore. Hope everything else gets straightened out. Mom is too far gone to notice if anyone is in the room with her now, but in the beginning she used to be one step behind me all the time! Hope you get to Florida!
Lucy, don't sell yourself short! You don't have your mom at home, but still have a lot on your plate. When Mom was in rehab twice, it was worse than having her at home. Going every day was harder than having her at home and you are still paying her bills etc. so you are in the thick of it!
Austin, Amen on your post!
Okay, 12:30 AM here and I need to get to bed. Night everyone!
Interesting start to my day today. I heard Mom starting to wake up on the monitor I have in her room. So I went upstairs to check on her. When I went into her bedroom she was sitting naked on her bed and somehow she had managed to get her nightgown wrong side out and her arm through the neck hole and I’m still not sure what hole her head was in. I almost started to laugh at her, but managed to control myself. Unfortunately her wet depend was off also, between the covers and her bed was wet. Apparently she woke up during the night and I did not hear her. I don’t know if a bed alarm would register that or not. So I got her dressed, managed to get her in her wheel chair. Today apparently is a no walking morning? While she was eating breakfast, I stripped her bed. That was one load of laundry I hadn’t planned on today. Oh well, it could have been worse.
Lildeb, Hope your mil gets her test done on Friday. That has definitely been a lot of work for you. I know what you mean. If I even leave the room for a minute Mom is up looking for me when she is able to walk. Even if I tell her, Mom I’m going downstairs to put clothes in the dryer, she still has no comprehension. One day I went downstairs and I had barely made it down the stairs and I could hear her get up. I listened to make sure she didn’t fall. I could hear her coming toward the stairs and before I could get up the stairs, she was already at the stairs with the front of the walker on the first step going down. I got her back up and settled down. The next day I installed a baby gate at the top of the stairs.
Still don’t know what is wrong with my car. The garage came with the tow truck to pick it up; they got in the car, started it up and drove it back to the garage. They still haven’t been able to find anything wrong. The thing is I know it wasn’t just me, because my husband tried to drive it also and wouldn’t go into gear for him either. I just don’t want to get stuck somewhere especially if I have Mom with me.
Deef, I don’t know how you have enough hours in the day. I have thought about day care for Mom but I’m not sure if that is an option anymore. What levels of dementia will they usually accept, do you know?
Mame, hang in there. I know what you mean about guilt. I feel guilty when I even think about looking at full care facilities for Mom. After all, I promised Dad that I would always take care of Mom. Even though logically I know that taking care of Mom involves a lot more than just the physical aspect.
Well I hope everyone has a smooth day.
Hugs to all.
Barb
Keep a close eye on your mom with the walker. Mine fell and got hurt badly ,twice when she was using a walker. She never got the hang of using one.
As for finding your mom in bed that way, get used to it. Depends never kept Mom dry. try the internet for Wellness Briefs. I've tried them all and there is nothing out there that compares in price and absorbancy. I have to put a pair of mom's cotton undies over her diaper and I put her arms over the sheet and tie the end to the bedrail in order to keep her from picking them apart during the night. She has become used to it now and is better about it. I put pillows under her sheet on either side of her also. This keeps her from getting up on her own, which she can no longer do. Thank God!
As for your mom being on the second floor and you on the first, you will need to change that soon. Alarm pads are good, but by the time you hear them, the damage may already be done. People with dementia get easily conditioned to situations after a while. Your mom may not like pillows under her sheets at first, but she will get used to them when she realizes you will come to her and she needn't get up on her own. Mom no longer is able to change her position in bed without help, so when I here her holding her breath in the morning, I go and turn her on her side and she goes back to sleep until I get her up.
I had plans to go to Kohl's today to get new sneakers for walking and get lunch at Ruby Tuesday's. Yes I made plans, and here I sit! Husband in and out of the bathroom, so I guess we will try for tomorrow. If he's not feeling better, I'm going by myself!
Guess I will shampoo Mom's rug!
Thanks for the info about daycare. I will start looking again. I got a list from the local council on aging. I will call a few and check them out. Also, I did want to clarify one thing. Mom is on the first floor of her ranch home. Downstairs is the partially finished basement which is the area that my husband and I have our bedroom. Unfortunately that is also where the laundry room is. I will try the pillows on her bed and definitely find the Wellness briefs. Thanks again for the info.
Barb
As for daycare, see if you have an elder care service in your area. They will pay so much for your Mom's daycare and she will have a copay, otherwise it will cost at least $55/day. Usually they come out for a visit to see about her finances and a nurse will come and evaluate her. They also can approve home care hours so that you can get out. They have been a life saver for us.
Got to go get Mom. Didn't get to sleep until 2:30 am, but not feeling it yet. Just got her old wheelchair refitted with a new seat and a self-releasing seat belt. They came in this afternoon, so I did that instead of the rug. also made a pot of chicken soup for the cold weather coming in tomorrow.
Off and running again!
Deef, I got the mil wearing xs pull up depends while she is on this prep stuff for Friday. I told her they were adult pull-ups panties so it working now n I am going to go with the flow. Last Tuesday was a mess all over the place n clothes. I am glad that your mom is getting treated well at the Daycare. I luv Ruby Tuesday n I don't blame you, go by yourself for you well deserve it! I hope your hubby is okay.
Lucy, thanks for I got that all wrong. I hope u get the transportation issue cleared up. Beings you know your mom is at a safe place then, their is nothing wrong in taking a break from seeing her every day.
Austin, you were human just like everyone else here when you went off. Overly tired, stressed out n worrying n not to mention the hospitals are not the coziest place to be n especially that you were their for a week! I hope you are able to find peace within your soul n some much needed rest n time for yourself.
Mil is getting restless n agitated n I cannot blame her one bit with all this running back/forth to bathroom. Okay, walking to the bathroom shoot, y'all get the picture. We will have to get up real early for the last dose of the med she has to take for the procedure. I am going have to fill myself up with lots of caffeine for the bright n early AM. At least they mention a little sunshine tomorrow n that will cheer her up somewhat. I'll try to send some to guys/gals with all that frigging snow. br...
Shampooed mom's rug after daycare. Gave her something to supervise. But I screwed up royally! Got the machine all set and went over the rug really well with many passes. Couldn't figure out why I wasn't smelling the Fabreeze rug soap. Oh well, I finished shampooing and started to clean up the machine. As I was wiping it down I noticed that I didn't turn the soap dispenser on!!! !@%$#@! So I filled the machine again and made another pass with the soap ON this time!!
I may do one more pass before I bring Mom home this afternoon, but first we are going to Kohls and Ruby Tuesday's for lunch!! It will feel good to get out somewhere.
Bobbie, Are you working hard or just hiding out?
Jen ,what's up? Going to send you some cardinal in the snow pictures.
Stormy, you feeling any better?
Austin, Lilly, Barb,Mame, Rena ,Diane,Miz, Kuli, and all those I have forgotten, hope you are all well!
Hope everyone is doing fine today. Rough night last night. Mom was up pretty much all night. Nothing wrong, I guess just the dementia in high gear. She kept messing with her depends and trying to take them off. I had to change her twice and the bed once. Then she was playing with them and the covers all night long. I think I finally heard her doze about 7:00 am. I don't know if I should try switching her to pajamas instead of gowns or what to try. This is getting to be more frequent so maybe I should ask the doctor about something to calm her. Right now the only medications she is on is for high blood pressure. I wish I could say that.
Deef, we have a bird feeder that we fill in the winter. We love to watch the all the birds when it snows, especially the cardinals. Mom has a collection of cardinal themed items, clothes, dishes etc. even the license plate on her car.
Hope everyone has a good day.
Hugs to all
Barb
We have cardinals here in West Texas too. Love to watch them at the feeder.
We have Cardianals here too. I have been leaving the feeders empty-trying to get rid of the deer who come each night and clean out the feeders! I am hoping they will see I am not filling them and quit coming...then I can fill them again for the birds! I have had them come in past winters-but not every night! Maybe I told you but hubby got up at 4am the other morning to get a drink of water and when he came back to bed he said we have diners! Two deer-banging away on the feeders so the seed will come out! So, I know it is deer-plus the hoof prints in the snow... I just can't afford to refill every day! I suppose I could take them down at night but that would be a pain. Maybe that is what I will have to do tho cause I hate to let the birds down...
Slowly creeping out of the hole I was in. Sometimes it pains me to read about what we are all going through...other times, I can read but don't have the energy to write. So, sorry that I am absent at times.
Hubby going thru some health and work stuff and it may just be time for a change which brings great anxiety to us both-with me making no $$... You know the drill. UGH.
Anyway-it is Friday and I have hope mom may get a visitor this weekend! I am not holding my breath tho! Hang in there everybody! Love-Mame
As for your mom messing with her diapers, that's par for the course and pj's or gowns won't make a difference. Try putting her regular undies on top and she may leave them alone. Get a bed rail for the side of the bed she sleeps on, or if it's a twin bed, get one for each side. Then get larger top sheets and put her arms over the sheets and tie the ends to the bed rails so she can't get under to the diapers. Believe me when I say you do not want to get up and find a wet one shredded all over the bed!!! You may have to keep an eye on her for a few nights after taking these measures, but she will eventually get used to it and you won't wake up to more messes.
It's really hard trying to find ways to deal with these problems in the beginning, but you learn as you go. Many of these measures I have learned from the 3 CNA's that help with Mom and have 10 to 15 years each working with dementia patients. These things they cannot do in a facility because they are considered restraining the patient. That's the main reason why they use "chemical" restarints.
Definitely talk to her doctor about something to help her sleep.
Hope some of this will help!
Mame, cleaning is something I do when I get angry at my husband or myself! Gets rid of my aggressions and gets the house straightened out, otherwise I would just let things pile up. Glad it's helping you feel better! as for bird seed, we used to have more feeders out, but can no longer afford to buy as much as we used to. The last really cold and snowy winter, we were going through 35lbs or more a week! we have at least 8 pairs of cardinals here all year. When I stayed with Rip in Seattle a year and a half ago, I saw my first Stellar Jay. Gorgeous! Nothing like the blue jays here on the east coast.
Lildeb, Hope you Mil's tests went well and you get to go to Florida.
Jen I will try to get those pics to you tonight
Bobbie!!!!
Got to go feed Mom!
Forgive me but I'm venting before I read the latest posts. Mom has been whinning nonstop for the last hour. She swears she is dying and needs to go to the hospital. It's just another anxiety attack. Her BP and pulse are good. I put her oxygen on her just to shut her up. Now she swears she smells a strong chemical odor. It just doesn't stop!!!!!!!!! SHe has been pretty far out all day. When I came home today she was so pleased to tell me the caregiver was my cousin....not. I am so looking forward to getting away from this madness on Monday. Shit, now she swears she hears and ambulance coming for her. God give me patience and hurry!!!!!!!!