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Meanwhile, she only had one son n the Niece is not that great n shape either. Hubby is doing much better helping out as long as it at the house n no errands or dr's appt unless I tell him he needs to go! Omg! you had to dig your car out of the snow! Wow ! that is a lot of snow. It's 78 degrees n the house n i am about to turn the air on. That is awful to hear about the person missing n it don't look good. Yet, anything is possible. the most snow we ever got was probable between 2 -4 inches. I know that is a joke from what you have right now. Everyone else, I hope y'all have a good weekend too.
Jen stay warm. I'm not a fan of cold weather. Neither are my goats. They hid in the barn, and bounced off the walls (literally). Now the horses got out and played in the snow, that is really fun to watch. So did the dogs, even my 13 year old dog was running around playing in the snow like a puppy.
Sorry you are so cold Jen! Going to be warm on Sunday but getting colder next week. Meanwhile, wish I could play in the snow with all your animals! I love it and try to get out and act like a kid every winter! Haven't been ice skating or cross country skiing for years now as the winters are not like they used to be here. I used to go ice skating at least once every winter and we used to love to cross country ski through the local park at night when the moon was full. Even though I have Raynaud's disease and the cold is very bad for me, I still get out and play in it whenever I can. Always loved winter! Lildeb, I would be melting if it was that warm in my house. we keep it at 62 degrees here. Fuel cost too much to keep the temp of the house any higher.
Jsomebody, must be the weather n only 9 freaking degrees, now that is just too dang cold. You got meanwhile beat big time. Meanwhile, aren't u glad u don't have to ride any horses on those cold spunky wiry horses training day? I know a few of my family members n their friends when they had cold weather that a lot of jockeys were getting hurt due to the cold weather in Fl a couple of wks ago. Right now their in the 80's but when it drops they r totally crazy. Similar to what you mention about your pets n yes they r funny to watch but not to ride. Glad I not an exercise girl rider anymore. I miss it but I don't miss all that jumping n getting dragged. I got the mil to take her antibiotic n calcium tonight n another glass of water for the night. I also ask her to let me see her poo n urine color before she flushed n as I went to go look, she is shoving her hand n the toilet bowl trying to crab a turd. Hubby was walking by n freaked out! he's going off so I try to get him n the other room that this is not the first time n that I will talk to her. I let her know that may be why her stomach hurts for that is very nasty to do such a thing. Hubby n the background hollering, 'mom you don't stick your hand n the toilet to show us!" I have already been their n done that as well from the past too. I go check n its a little greenish but seems fine. Not sure why green unless it is the antibiotics? I also gave her one Tylenol for she constantly keeps complaining her tummy hurts. Hopefully that will help her some until tomorrow. Good Lord give this woman a break n help heal her for she does not know what she is doing sometimes due to her illness. ladee, I ate alz too! Deef, I think I let that closet go until another day. I am using the tips of the um and okay n so far it is working. We learn as we do sometimes. Night as well.
Everybody is dealing with all of their insanity and it's crazy here on the boat too. Boat angel is swearing he's leaving tomorrow and all I can say is whatever. Stay, Leave but pick one and stick to it. Why the freaking drama? Hate it. This is the 3rd time since Christmas and man oh man I am worn out. I know he's sick, bordering on crazy but cut me a break. Kind of afraid to fall asleep. Will leave the light on all night and check in with you guys in the am. One of us here on the thread knows exactly where I am so don't anyone worry.
At least I know why I'm nuts. Not a mystery. Too much drama. Mama drama, bio mama drama, all kinds of drama. Now this dude drama that has been going on for 18 months. Main reason I became a comedian. Less drama. hahaha
ok, going to bed.
love all you guys way more than you'll ever know. lovbob
Bobbie, I so hate that when men say they are going to leave. To me it's not an option in a relationship. You are right. Too much drama. Men gotta understand that at least one person that we loved has already left us. It hurts too much.
Yes, to see is repulsive, however, remember you to , someday, may be the one using your childrens toothbrush, or doing unthinkable things, nothing different that what a 3 year old would do. Pray that I to may never be in that state of mind.
thanks Miz and yes it sux. What I have figured out between last night and now is that he has panic attacks and that ramps up the drama big time. All is calm on the boat right now and I hope it stays that way.
Hey there 'family counsel', you sound like someone who has never done this job and have no idea what a 24/7/365 family caregiver goes through so you might want to consider that. Consider 24/7/365 for a minute. Not visiting some old person for an hour and thinking you've got this. Because you don't.
And it has nothing to do with what a 3 year old would do. That's the lamest comment anyone can make.
The people here stuck with this task just roll their eyes and shake their heads when newbies say stuff like that.
Bet you are new to the site, so welcome, but if you are here to learn how to be a caregiver and what skills you need to cope with that, keep reading and you will learn. Right now you have no idea. Trust me on that.
your comment received , however spending 2 yrs with MIL dementia and 25 years not just in LTC facilities, I suppose I have learned a few things, some that don't SUX as you so educatedly state. You missed my point or I missed yours. this isnt the forum for debates or sarcastic remarks.
Woah, family council, I call "SUX as you so educatedly state" as being sarcastic. Bobbie knows a GREAT deal about care giving. If you were to read this thread I think you would have a better understanding of what we are all about. You would probably fit right in here. But giving Bobbie grief for venting about something her mother did many years ago is not cool. Bobbie lost her mom and so did I along with so many others that have lost loved ones on this thread. 3 year olds grow up. Our parents don't. It is nothing like raising a child.
Familycouncil, I read your profile and give you credit for defending the elderly in your various capacities. It did not appear that you have been a 24/7/365 primary caregiver yourself. If you have, then be very thankful you had a very different experience than we have. Most of us on this thread (some since 2010) have sacrificed our lives, careers, personal relationships and finances for the person we are caring for 24/7. If you have not been a primary caregiver 24/7/365, please refrain from judging. If you are just begining in the role of primary caregiver, you have much to learn.
I do wish you much sucess with you desire to covert a LTC facility for homeless vets. It's a wonderful idea, but unfortunately so many of our homeless do not want to be confined by walls for various reasons. No matter how much you try to help, they return to the streets. Providing any assistance is an admirable endeavor.
So Familycouncil, if you feel you must judge, please "educate" yourself on all that we have been through already on this thread. You have lots of reading with 25,875 posts over 2 years. Based on your profile I believe you could provide information of great value to many that post on this thread and many more an AC, but please have some compassion.
Deef, I forgot to reply to your question. Mom does not have a UTI so the doctor is simply saying the disease is progressing and causing the mean behaviors and wanting to sleep more. Enjoy the "Spring" weather this weekend. Closets can wait until you are stuck inside again.
Bobbie, if u weren't a little nutty then u wouldn't fit in. Sorry you r having so much drama too. I hope u r able to get some rest.
Familycouncil, I think a lot of us have already gave it some thought about, what will happen to us if that day ever comes. Some days may be all roses but not all of them. We all know that, this is a very hard disease to deal with for r love ones. That sometimes it may be challenging n that sometimes it can be extremely challenging minute-by-minuet. All we can do is educate as much as possible, learned as we go, seek respite care when one can afford to do so, seek assistance and outside help n to be as passionate as possible when the person with such illness will allow it! And pray like crazy we never get this illness!
Today the mil is still complaining n I wished she had got that damn test done so we know what to do for her! But that is the past so must try n move forward. The mil still seems the same n if by Monday the antibiotics haven't done any better for her I am going to try n get her to her Gyn dr n see if she still has this bladder infection or something else. Right now its only been 4 days since she has been on the new antibiotics n 2 days before that on the ones that were too strong for her. Total of 6 days so I am hoping it just that the antibiotics haven't kicked in yet. Hopefully, by Wed, she will do the test so we can make sure about the other problem. I got her to drink her water n gave her some more dried cranberries for I look at all the Cranberry juices n even ocean spray had some other stuff in it like pear n apple juice n this is suppose to be pure 100% Cranberry juice? I also got her to finally drink at least one glass of ginger ale for it's got to be good for her I think? Gave her another Tylenol for her regular physician don't won't her taking too many other OTC drugs n she is already taking a baby aspirin daily along with her regular meds. I have tried talking to the mil as well n I think she understood as much as expected for she only has moderate Alz. Don't know anything else I could be doing different. Any suggestion throw them out for I am all ears. I hope everyone is having a good weekend as much as possible.
I don't even respond to it, it just doesn't bother me anymore, it is someone else life and perspective. I can understand it. I just don't connect it to me.
Hope everyone is having an OK weekend, like "weekend" means anything...
Out of hear on this. Lot of misunderstanding going and a lot of judging. I have done my 24/7/365. Several years of it. all history now. Good luck to you all.
Family, looks like you know your stuff when it comes to financial, insurance and facility issues. I think you can be very helpful here to answer any questions we have about legal issues, POA issues, etc. I'm the second eldest of 7 children and have been caring for my mom 24/7 for 5 years now. She is total care due to Parkinsons and advanced dementia. Taking care of her is nothing like taking care of a child. Children learn and grow from their mistakes and experiences. People with alz. and dementia don't get better, smarter or learn common sense like a child. They forget everything they ever knew, including the basics like eating and time and yes, even breathing. I have raised and helped raise many children, and taking care of Mom the last 5 years, in no way resembles caring for a child. You are not the first person I have explained this to, and you won't be the last. No insult intended, just stating my feelings on the matter. Welcome to this thread and I hope you are not insulted by our comments to you and will continue to help everyone here with your vast knowledge of elder care issues. Deb, Sounds like you have MIL under control. Mom had an issue with her last UTI and needed to have a different antibiotic to knock out the infection. Diane, maybe it's a good thing your mom wants to sleep more. Might be a good idea to catch a nap while she is sleeping! I did get one closet gutted today and back together. I also got the new organizer shelving unit built and into my craft room. Now I need to clean the boxes of stuff off my bed so I have a place to sleep tonight! Tomorrow I have to get through boxes of paperwork and junk and get it out for trash pickup on Monday. As I emptied Mom's closet, I found a box way in the back on the floor. It had my grandfather's (Mom's dad) discharge papers form the army when he served in WWI! My father's uncle's discharge papers were also in the envelope. They were from WWII and had a letter of appreciation for hid service signed by President Harry S. Truman!!! I also found my dad's draft card, and transfer papers to Panama at the end of WWII and his discharge papers! Amazing stuff! I need to copy all of my great uncle's paperwork and then call my father's last living brother and give him his uncles things. I have no idea why Mom would have those things buried at the back of the closet. My closest bet is she did it after the dementia had already started and she had some strange ulterior motive for what she did. Let's just say I could have gotten a lot more done if I hadn't spent half the day reminiscing and looking at all the picture and documents. Jen, I found lots of books that I have read. I will let you know what authors, etc. and if you like, I can send some to you. Sorry it's so cold there. been foggy and misting all day here. Okay, need to make room on the bed for me. I'm fading fast!!
START YOUR DAY OFF WITH A SMILE. HEAVEN KNOWS WE NEED IT.
IMPOSSIBILITIES IN THE WORLD 1. You can't count your hair. 2. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 3. You can't breathe when your tongue is out.
Put your tongue back in your mouth, you silly person.
10 Things I know about you. 1) You are reading this. 2) You are human. 3) You can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips. 4) You just attempted to do it. 6) You are laughing at yourself. 7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5. 8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5. 9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it too. 10) You are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it.
You have received this e-mail because I didn't want to be alone in the “Idiot” category.
Have a great Day. Laugh, and then laugh and sing It's a Beautiful Morning even when it's not.
Jen-I totally agree with your comment about weekends! They are no different than any other day for all of us! Same with Holidays-and no one gets it!
Stormy-you wrote about feeling guilty and having thoughts of wishing for an end to this... I think most of us have felt that way. I know I have. Some mornings, I wake up and listen to the monitor to hear her breathe...and when I do-well, suffice it to say-I am not always happy to hear it! I know I will be sad when she is gone, and that I will feel guilty for the thoughts I have sometimes. But I admit, I am tired...of all of this. And when I am physically tired-the feelings are worse and constant. So, I try to sleep when I can...eat right and pray that God will give me the strength to care for her as long as she needs me...and that maybe I can be happy about it? HaHa... I think mom would even understand the feelings if I could talk to her about it...but I would never tell her...even tho she would forget in two minutes! I could never hurt her. I totally love her...I guess I just want a life of my own. I don't think anyone could blame us for that. Do what you can to have the life you deserve with Connor...even if it means having a "stranger" come in and help out-demand it for the good of your family. Your dad and sister will get used to it. Connor needs and deserves you! Fight for what you need. Bobbie-I hope everything is alright witht he boat angel. You sure don't need the drama. Thanks for always being here for all of us! Deef, Flex, lildeb, meanwhile, Miz, Lucy, Cat and Cat, Austin, Kuli, Judy, Miss, Cricket and everyone else out there-have a decent day! Mame
We had some snow the other day; just an inch or two. It hasn't been too cold, low 30's-high 20's. My granddaughter, Amanda, is dealing with minus 20 (with windchill) in North Dakota, so I'll count my blessings.
Bobbie: I'm truly sorry the boat angel is causing you pain. Maybe he would consider speaking with a therapist about his feelings, illness and panic attacks. Sounds like you get the brunt of his anxieties. Take care of yourself. I hope for your happiness always.
He's better thanks everyone and no, he's not considering that. Tried. Anxiety is a pain for all concerned to be sure. I think we've all been there. Thanks for being here for me you guys.
Sorry familycounsel for being so abrupt. We all have our issues. Aftermath is mine.
Tonight I think I am losing my mind. Again. How many times do you answer the question? How long do you continue the same conversation around and around and around, usually nothing but nonsense but she gets angry if I am so rude as to not answer. She thinks I took money off her desk. She thinks I took her purse. Do I sing the same thing every morning...what?? Today and tonight my spouse is in his shop, blissfully isolated from all this. Will someone just hit me over the head with a board and make it all stop!!!
tell her its midnight and its bedtime ! give her a book or pink hair rollers , pen paper . un match socks and tell her to find a match , my mil is the same way ,, REPEATIN ALL TIMES ...
family--- . i am glad bobbie posted about the toothbrush , cuz it was an eye opener for me . i hide my toothbrush then .. it is not begin bad mouthing about our elders . its a learning experiance and a warning ! thank u bobbie lou ...
rainin and cold out , yesterday and day before it was like spring !!! ohh i was in paradise ! now its blah out and cold again . sniff waaaa .
saw bookworm says she wont be posting over this end anymore . what the hell did u guys do to her LOL . laughin my ass off .
KateAnne!!! Been there still doing that after 7 years! Major hazard of dementia. Answer her once, then change the subject. Make a list of things you know will get her attention away from something she keeps repeating. You have to remember she is very confused and scared and has no idea what is causing this to happen. My grand father went through this over 20 years ago and Mom and I took care of him. At the time, very little was known about how to deal with dementia patients. So when he would ask where his wife was, we would tell him she was dead. well, that would start him crying and cursing and just plain make him mad because we never told him she died. You see, we didn't know that we were making him relive the death of hid wife numerous times a day, as he would ask about her every hour and then forget what we told him. It was very sad to watch, but we didn't know what else to do. Now that Mom is the same way, I know not to talk about death and loved ones in the past tense. If she asks when my dad is coming home (been dead for 31 years), I tell her soon.She usually forgets right after that. Redirecting a person with dementia is the best tool I have learned. they are easily distracted and will usually forget the subject they are stuck on when you turn their focus to something else. Mom is late stage and can do very little for herself. She can't even focus long enough to feed herself and it takes me sometimes an hour just to feed her a meal. If she is talkative, she doesn't make much sense at all. The wrong words come out for everything. So I just make comments like "oh yeh?', Really!, or uh huh! As long as they think you are listening, they calm down. I need to read your profile to see where exactly you are with care giving in order to make more suggestions, but feel free to vent here as we are all in the same boat! A lot of us have been here for along time and know the ropes and would be glad to help you out! Cat, NE is the place to be this winter again! Most of our snow has now melted, but we never got the sun they promised today. Dense fog here the whole weekend! Breathe Bobbie!!!! Engine room? get that baby purring so you can take me for a cruise in a couple months! Walked 2 1/2 miles on the treadmill this afternoon, then cooked stir fry and ate way too much!!! Mom starts 4 days at daycare this week. She'll have Wednesdays off, so she should be okay with the extra day. I'll just get her to nap when we get home every day. My older sister sent me a X-mas check with the stipulation that I use it for myself. So I signed up for a needle felting class at Webbs yarn store. Of course you know the rest of the $$ will be used for bills! Sorry sis! Got a mess to clean up in the kitchen and a few other things to do. Tomorrow is trash pick up, so I need to get rid of all the junk from Mom's closet.
Linda, why must you bring up the past about another poster. It's over it's done with, leave it alone. She has just as much right to post as you or anyone else does.
Deb, did you work with race horses? How exciting. I used to ride colts for people, to get them started. Bucking and pitching didn't scare me. Now I'm much more cautious. I still start colts, but really take my time, do lots of ground work, so everything is much less exciting. Deef, needle felting? Sounds fun, but I don't know what it is. Cat, how is your granddaughter doing? North Dakota, BRRR Bobbie, I hope the engine room doesn't give you too much trouble. Does it have a diesel engine? That is what I picture on a boat. KateAnne, welcome to the group. I don't have much advice. Just starting to have to take care of my parents. I got on this group when my husband was sick and passed away last year. And, I'm still here hanging out. Linda, I know what you mean about the weather. It teased me with 60 degrees 2 days ago, and barely got above 30 today. (OK it isn't North Dakota, Cat but I'm spoiled). Jen how are you doing? , Cuz, thanks for the jokes. Hope everyone has a good week. Shirley
yogibear - i am sorry about my commets , i was laughin cuz i have too said i wont be posting anymore and i always do come back and just like others did too . we all know one to another and its like a friend u can never forget . i do hope bookworm comes back . i love reading her post . i think the way i said it was cuz i had woke up from a bad dream ... horrible and i truely am prayng that it wont be me in future , i got lost and got turned around and i was the old old woman , i kept thinking where am i , how did i get here ? wheres my car ! i truely was lost and many people walked by me and kept going and here i am standing there crying and spinnin in circles !!! nobody cares . :( ,,,, 'i woke up and i was still freaked out about it . lord dont let that happen to me plz .
hope we all have a sweet dreams tnite . stay warm !! xoxo
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APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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Everyone else, I hope y'all have a good weekend too.
Meanwhile, wish I could play in the snow with all your animals! I love it and try to get out and act like a kid every winter! Haven't been ice skating or cross country skiing for years now as the winters are not like they used to be here. I used to go ice skating at least once every winter and we used to love to cross country ski through the local park at night when the moon was full. Even though I have Raynaud's disease and the cold is very bad for me, I still get out and play in it whenever I can. Always loved winter!
Lildeb, I would be melting if it was that warm in my house. we keep it at 62 degrees here. Fuel cost too much to keep the temp of the house any higher.
Meanwhile, aren't u glad u don't have to ride any horses on those cold spunky wiry horses training day? I know a few of my family members n their friends when they had cold weather that a lot of jockeys were getting hurt due to the cold weather in Fl a couple of wks ago. Right now their in the 80's but when it drops they r totally crazy. Similar to what you mention about your pets n yes they r funny to watch but not to ride. Glad I not an exercise girl rider anymore. I miss it but I don't miss all that jumping n getting dragged.
I got the mil to take her antibiotic n calcium tonight n another glass of water for the night. I also ask her to let me see her poo n urine color before she flushed n as I went to go look, she is shoving her hand n the toilet bowl trying to crab a turd. Hubby was walking by n freaked out! he's going off so I try to get him n the other room that this is not the first time n that I will talk to her. I let her know that may be why her stomach hurts for that is very nasty to do such a thing. Hubby n the background hollering, 'mom you don't stick your hand n the toilet to show us!" I have already been their n done that as well from the past too. I go check n its a little greenish but seems fine. Not sure why green unless it is the antibiotics? I also gave her one Tylenol for she constantly keeps complaining her tummy hurts. Hopefully that will help her some until tomorrow. Good Lord give this woman a break n help heal her for she does not know what she is doing sometimes due to her illness. ladee, I ate alz too!
Deef, I think I let that closet go until another day. I am using the tips of the um and okay n so far it is working. We learn as we do sometimes. Night as well.
Everybody is dealing with all of their insanity and it's crazy here on the boat too. Boat angel is swearing he's leaving tomorrow and all I can say is whatever. Stay, Leave but pick one and stick to it. Why the freaking drama? Hate it.
This is the 3rd time since Christmas and man oh man I am worn out. I know he's sick, bordering on crazy but cut me a break.
Kind of afraid to fall asleep. Will leave the light on all night and check in with you guys in the am. One of us here on the thread knows exactly where I am so don't anyone worry.
At least I know why I'm nuts. Not a mystery. Too much drama. Mama drama, bio mama drama, all kinds of drama. Now this dude drama that has been going on for 18 months.
Main reason I became a comedian. Less drama. hahaha
ok, going to bed.
love all you guys way more than you'll ever know.
lovbob
thanks Miz and yes it sux. What I have figured out between last night and now is that he has panic attacks and that ramps up the drama big time. All is calm on the boat right now and I hope it stays that way.
Hey there 'family counsel', you sound like someone who has never done this job and have no idea what a 24/7/365 family caregiver goes through so you might want to consider that.
Consider 24/7/365 for a minute. Not visiting some old person for an hour and thinking you've got this. Because you don't.
And it has nothing to do with what a 3 year old would do. That's the lamest comment anyone can make.
The people here stuck with this task just roll their eyes and shake their heads when newbies say stuff like that.
Bet you are new to the site, so welcome, but if you are here to learn how to be a caregiver and what skills you need to cope with that, keep reading and you will learn.
Right now you have no idea. Trust me on that.
lovbob
I do wish you much sucess with you desire to covert a LTC facility for homeless vets. It's a wonderful idea, but unfortunately so many of our homeless do not want to be confined by walls for various reasons. No matter how much you try to help, they return to the streets. Providing any assistance is an admirable endeavor.
So Familycouncil, if you feel you must judge, please "educate" yourself on all that we have been through already on this thread. You have lots of reading with 25,875 posts over 2 years. Based on your profile I believe you could provide information of great value to many that post on this thread and many more an AC, but please have some compassion.
And to the rest of the crew LOVE YA!!!!!
Familycouncil, I think a lot of us have already gave it some thought about, what will happen to us if that day ever comes. Some days may be all roses but not all of them. We all know that, this is a very hard disease to deal with for r love ones. That sometimes it may be challenging n that sometimes it can be extremely challenging minute-by-minuet. All we can do is educate as much as possible, learned as we go, seek respite care when one can afford to do so, seek assistance and outside help n to be as passionate as possible when the person with such illness will allow it! And pray like crazy we never get this illness!
Today the mil is still complaining n I wished she had got that damn test done so we know what to do for her! But that is the past so must try n move forward. The mil still seems the same n if by Monday the antibiotics haven't done any better for her I am going to try n get her to her Gyn dr n see if she still has this bladder infection or something else. Right now its only been 4 days since she has been on the new antibiotics n 2 days before that on the ones that were too strong for her. Total of 6 days so I am hoping it just that the antibiotics haven't kicked in yet.
Hopefully, by Wed, she will do the test so we can make sure about the other problem. I got her to drink her water n gave her some more dried cranberries for I look at all the Cranberry juices n even ocean spray had some other stuff in it like pear n apple juice n this is suppose to be pure 100% Cranberry juice? I also got her to finally drink at least one glass of ginger ale for it's got to be good for her I think? Gave her another Tylenol for her regular physician don't won't her taking too many other OTC drugs n she is already taking a baby aspirin daily along with her regular meds. I have tried talking to the mil as well n I think she understood as much as expected for she only has moderate Alz. Don't know anything else I could be doing different. Any suggestion throw them out for I am all ears.
I hope everyone is having a good weekend as much as possible.
I don't even respond to it, it just doesn't bother me anymore, it is someone else life and perspective. I can understand it. I just don't connect it to me.
Hope everyone is having an OK weekend, like "weekend" means anything...
I'm the second eldest of 7 children and have been caring for my mom 24/7 for 5 years now. She is total care due to Parkinsons and advanced dementia. Taking care of her is nothing like taking care of a child. Children learn and grow from their mistakes and experiences. People with alz. and dementia don't get better, smarter or learn common sense like a child. They forget everything they ever knew, including the basics like eating and time and yes, even breathing. I have raised and helped raise many children, and taking care of Mom the last 5 years, in no way resembles caring for a child. You are not the first person I have explained this to, and you won't be the last. No insult intended, just stating my feelings on the matter. Welcome to this thread and I hope you are not insulted by our comments to you and will continue to help everyone here with your vast knowledge of elder care issues.
Deb, Sounds like you have MIL under control. Mom had an issue with her last UTI and needed to have a different antibiotic to knock out the infection.
Diane, maybe it's a good thing your mom wants to sleep more. Might be a good idea to catch a nap while she is sleeping!
I did get one closet gutted today and back together. I also got the new organizer shelving unit built and into my craft room. Now I need to clean the boxes of stuff off my bed so I have a place to sleep tonight! Tomorrow I have to get through boxes of paperwork and junk and get it out for trash pickup on Monday.
As I emptied Mom's closet, I found a box way in the back on the floor. It had my grandfather's (Mom's dad) discharge papers form the army when he served in WWI! My father's uncle's discharge papers were also in the envelope. They were from WWII and had a letter of appreciation for hid service signed by President Harry S. Truman!!!
I also found my dad's draft card, and transfer papers to Panama at the end of WWII and his discharge papers! Amazing stuff! I need to copy all of my great uncle's paperwork and then call my father's last living brother and give him his uncles things.
I have no idea why Mom would have those things buried at the back of the closet. My closest bet is she did it after the dementia had already started and she had some strange ulterior motive for what she did.
Let's just say I could have gotten a lot more done if I hadn't spent half the day reminiscing and looking at all the picture and documents.
Jen, I found lots of books that I have read. I will let you know what authors, etc. and if you like, I can send some to you. Sorry it's so cold there. been foggy and misting all day here.
Okay, need to make room on the bed for me. I'm fading fast!!
START YOUR DAY OFF WITH A SMILE. HEAVEN KNOWS WE NEED IT.
IMPOSSIBILITIES IN THE WORLD
1. You can't count your hair.
2. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
3. You can't breathe when your tongue is out.
Put your tongue back in your mouth, you silly person.
10 Things I know about you.
1) You are reading this.
2) You are human.
3) You can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips.
4) You just attempted to do it.
6) You are laughing at yourself.
7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.
8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.
9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it too.
10) You are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it.
You have received this e-mail because I didn't want to be alone in the “Idiot” category.
Have a great Day.
Laugh, and then laugh and sing It's a Beautiful Morning even when it's not.
Jen-I totally agree with your comment about weekends! They are no different than any other day for all of us! Same with Holidays-and no one gets it!
Stormy-you wrote about feeling guilty and having thoughts of wishing for an end to this... I think most of us have felt that way. I know I have. Some mornings, I wake up and listen to the monitor to hear her breathe...and when I do-well, suffice it to say-I am not always happy to hear it! I know I will be sad when she is gone, and that I will feel guilty for the thoughts I have sometimes. But I admit, I am tired...of all of this. And when I am physically tired-the feelings are worse and constant. So, I try to sleep when I can...eat right and pray that God will give me the strength to care for her as long as she needs me...and that maybe I can be happy about it? HaHa... I think mom would even understand the feelings if I could talk to her about it...but I would never tell her...even tho she would forget in two minutes! I could never hurt her. I totally love her...I guess I just want a life of my own. I don't think anyone could blame us for that. Do what you can to have the life you deserve with Connor...even if it means having a "stranger" come in and help out-demand it for the good of your family. Your dad and sister will get used to it. Connor needs and deserves you! Fight for what you need.
Bobbie-I hope everything is alright witht he boat angel. You sure don't need the drama. Thanks for always being here for all of us!
Deef, Flex, lildeb, meanwhile, Miz, Lucy, Cat and Cat, Austin, Kuli, Judy, Miss, Cricket and everyone else out there-have a decent day! Mame
We had some snow the other day; just an inch or two. It hasn't been too cold, low 30's-high 20's. My granddaughter, Amanda, is dealing with minus 20 (with windchill) in North Dakota, so I'll count my blessings.
Bobbie: I'm truly sorry the boat angel is causing you pain. Maybe he would consider speaking with a therapist about his feelings, illness and panic attacks. Sounds like you get the brunt of his anxieties. Take care of yourself. I hope for your happiness always.
I have to go now. Someone at the door. Cat
He's better thanks everyone and no, he's not considering that. Tried. Anxiety is a pain for all concerned to be sure. I think we've all been there. Thanks for being here for me you guys.
Sorry familycounsel for being so abrupt. We all have our issues.
Aftermath is mine.
Engine Room work today.
lovbob
family--- . i am glad bobbie posted about the toothbrush , cuz it was an eye opener for me . i hide my toothbrush then .. it is not begin bad mouthing about our elders . its a learning experiance and a warning ! thank u bobbie lou ...
rainin and cold out , yesterday and day before it was like spring !!! ohh i was in paradise ! now its blah out and cold again . sniff waaaa .
saw bookworm says she wont be posting over this end anymore . what the hell did u guys do to her LOL . laughin my ass off .
love you all xoxo
Now that Mom is the same way, I know not to talk about death and loved ones in the past tense. If she asks when my dad is coming home (been dead for 31 years), I tell her soon.She usually forgets right after that.
Redirecting a person with dementia is the best tool I have learned. they are easily distracted and will usually forget the subject they are stuck on when you turn their focus to something else. Mom is late stage and can do very little for herself. She can't even focus long enough to feed herself and it takes me sometimes an hour just to feed her a meal. If she is talkative, she doesn't make much sense at all. The wrong words come out for everything. So I just make comments like "oh yeh?', Really!, or uh huh! As long as they think you are listening, they calm down.
I need to read your profile to see where exactly you are with care giving in order to make more suggestions, but feel free to vent here as we are all in the same boat! A lot of us have been here for along time and know the ropes and would be glad to help you out!
Cat, NE is the place to be this winter again! Most of our snow has now melted, but we never got the sun they promised today. Dense fog here the whole weekend!
Breathe Bobbie!!!! Engine room? get that baby purring so you can take me for a cruise in a couple months!
Walked 2 1/2 miles on the treadmill this afternoon, then cooked stir fry and ate way too much!!!
Mom starts 4 days at daycare this week. She'll have Wednesdays off, so she should be okay with the extra day. I'll just get her to nap when we get home every day.
My older sister sent me a X-mas check with the stipulation that I use it for myself. So I signed up for a needle felting class at Webbs yarn store. Of course you know the rest of the $$ will be used for bills! Sorry sis!
Got a mess to clean up in the kitchen and a few other things to do. Tomorrow is trash pick up, so I need to get rid of all the junk from Mom's closet.
Deef, needle felting? Sounds fun, but I don't know what it is.
Cat, how is your granddaughter doing? North Dakota, BRRR
Bobbie, I hope the engine room doesn't give you too much trouble. Does it have a diesel engine? That is what I picture on a boat.
KateAnne, welcome to the group. I don't have much advice. Just starting to have to take care of my parents. I got on this group when my husband was sick and passed away last year. And, I'm still here hanging out.
Linda, I know what you mean about the weather. It teased me with 60 degrees 2 days ago, and barely got above 30 today. (OK it isn't North Dakota, Cat but I'm spoiled).
Jen how are you doing? , Cuz, thanks for the jokes.
Hope everyone has a good week. Shirley
we all know one to another and its like a friend u can never forget . i do hope bookworm comes back . i love reading her post .
i think the way i said it was cuz i had woke up from a bad dream ... horrible and i truely am prayng that it wont be me in future , i got lost and got turned around and i was the old old woman , i kept thinking where am i , how did i get here ? wheres my car ! i truely was lost and many people walked by me and kept going and here i am standing there crying and spinnin in circles !!! nobody cares . :( ,,,,
'i woke up and i was still freaked out about it . lord dont let that happen to me plz .
hope we all have a sweet dreams tnite . stay warm !! xoxo