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hi there . just got done talkin to bil . and he said has nobody to watch mom sat and guess what he s going to bring her for the weekend . :-( its suppose be my aniversary and hubby 55 th bday and now i guess i ll have to be good and watch my mil . she wanders alot and dad is no pblm cuz he is bedridden and can not get up . there goes my party :-( .
im going to go lay down , am feeling weak and dad cried while ago said feels like someone took a ballbat and wham him onthe side of his head , splitin headache , so i gave him painpill and ask halfhr later if headaches gone he said yes , but just dont feel god waaa . he didnt eat much of his soup .
now i feel worst and body s stiffin up lookin fwrd to a bad weekend .
love ya xoxox
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I'm in Georgia. Dang, I thought I had already posted this, guess I'm getting sometimers. Anyway, I'm about 2 1/2 hours east of Atlanta on I-20. I judge everything by the time it takes me to get there. I really don't care too much how many miles that is, just whether or not I want to drive that long. We're in Harlem, just outside Augusta. Born in Reform, Ala and left when I was 5. Never lived anywhere else. Boring!!!!

Got a question for you guys. I may have mentioned that mom fell again yesterday and tore up her arms pretty badly. She refuses to use the bell I've made for her. Only used it once or twice when she had no alternative. I know she knows how to use it and I'm pretty sure she's not forgetting to use it. The nurse came today to check her out and had a long talk with her about using the bell. 15mins ago I called my hubby into the kitchen for a minute to talk to him all of 3 mins maybe. Walked back into the den and there she was on the floor again. Can she be doing this to get attention? In the past it has always upset me terribly and I would cry and beg her to use the bell. Now I'm just angry. It's beginning to feel like she is doing it on purpose. She waits til I leave the room to get up. As many times now that she has fallen shouldn't she be getting the message that she's going to fall if she gets up? Remember she has very little dementia. What am I to do. The alarms for the chairs and beds are so expensive that's why I made the Redneck Life Alert for her. Remember too that all my life mom has been a drama queen. It was always about her. She required so much attention that we all felt burdened by her neediness. She would cry and threaten suicide almost monthly. I'm letting this little ole 90lb 86yr old lady whip my a**! JEEZE LOUISE!!! What do you all think? Am I being a drama queen thinking that she's playin me? My brothers have always felt that too. She is the original Wolf Cryer. I refuse to cry anymore about her "accidents".

That's my vent for today.
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Hi Y'all,

I've been keeping up with posts but not saying much. Sometimes I just don't have anymore energy left to write. Well, this is my first weekend of having help everyday and it turned out pretty good. I worked some on Saturday and did a few errands. Sunday I met up with my boyfriend and did more errands and had lunch together, and today I SLEPT!! The sitter came in and I crawled back into bed. OMG, it was glorious! Afterward I did get up and vacuum the house. My back is screaming "no more" so no mopping. I did thoroughly vacuum all the furniture so everyone isn't covered in black fur from Remus & Tuxedo. The dust is looking at me and I'm trying to ignore it :) I'm cheating and cooking pot pies for dinner. So, there's my exciting Labor Day weekend. Not complaining, just saying nothing exciting. Brother and SIL, nephew and best friend (now former) still aren't talking to me. Sister will talk briefly and other nephew will text me but that is it. I know this is old news but it hurts deeply everyday.
On the bright side, mom is tolerating her 2 antibiotics very well. She is still getting confused easily, but in a much better mood. She also seems to like the occupational therapist and physical therapist she has now. She has been working on trying to get up by herself. So, all in all, my life may not be exciting, but I am very greatful for all the blessings (and that includes you guys).

I'll try check back in later tonight.

Luv ya,
Diane
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Annt - this is intolerable - I have to run see about Mom and will be thinking it over.

Linda - can't you tell BIL no? I don't know the whole story but - can't you just call him back nd say NO? Let someone else scramble to find help for a change!
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Ann,
I know you say mom has little dementia, but her behavior definitely sounds like dementia. I know if is frustrating to say the least.

Take care,
Diane
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Ann. Even though Dad does have dementia, he does play me at times. I am not imagining it, he does it. I will tell him no, and he will shake his head at me and go right ahead and do whatever it is I asked and sometimes screamed at him not to do. On the other hand, if my husband tells him not to do something or to do something, NO PROBLEM!!! I get so frustrated at times I want to SCREAM!,
He did the same thing in rehab with the female OT. She came in to get him up and he pretended he was asleep, she dressed him as he was feigning sleep. The male PT he loved. He would do anything the PT asked him to do! Coincidence, I don't think so. I am at my wits end too! I have tried everything I know and he still does or tries to do things he shouldn't. I think he has issues with females asking or telling him to do anything. Believe me I feel your frustration! Love and hugs, Kim. PS loved the card and you will be receiving it back soon:)
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I feel so much better after getting that out!
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Maybe if I let my menopausal facial hair grow out and lower my voice. He will think I am a little man and do what I ask of him! Can't help but laugh at that thought. I think with the dementia all the negative traits are exacerbated. I'm here with him most of the time, so I guess it is time for a sex change! :)
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Spokane, WA...still.....

Hmmm the old, switchero behavior, seen that. You ask anyone NOT related to them and my grandparents were just the sweetest lil ole folks any one could meet....u hu, move in with em 24/7!

Msm I hope you get that settles and out of his reach before he even blows into town and if you feel threatened do not hesitate to call the police!

Thanks cricket, it is nice to know people get it, but I wouldn't wish a rotten childhood on anyone....
And I don't do pay back. No matter what was done to me I am not carrying it forward I at least will do what is RIGHT even if they did not. I choose not to be an abuser....Not to harm someone vulnerable to me...

Thank you ksobhie, if they haven't lived it...I mean really. The other type are the ones who don't judge but also REALLY do not want to hear about your situation...they are a treat too... Oh yes well, let me tell you the hassle I had with the sitter while I went out to dinner and a movie...Yes, quite, how nice for you eh?....

Peas? well I had broccoli last night....;)

Hi to Linda and Diane and rip and deef and miz and annt and annie cuz and everyone else living the dream......
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Linda. Tell them that this is a special weekend for you and you can't do it. Too much! MIL will be wandering around you will be following her around non-stop. You have a life too! BIL should respect that! Love and hugs, Kim
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annt - Amazon has this Medline's Magnetic Alarm - Advantage magnetic alarm - Model MDT5000Z... It is vry well reviewed and only $24.25.

Ad says :Inhibit patient wandering with this efficient alarm. The magnetic pull switch releases from any angle, eliminating false alarms and clothing tears. Mounts on bed or chair. Tether clips to patient's clothing. Recessed On/Off switch on side of alarm. Battery check button allows caregiver to check batteries without sounding alarm.
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Jsomebody - Living the dream? I like that.You funny lady.
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Ahhhhh...Living the dream

Is that the same as my mom acting out her dreams in her sleep and still doing it when she wakes up?
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Diane, I think that would be living the nightmare! Makes me think of that Alice Cooper song. Welcome to My Nightmare! Think I am starting to resemble Alice a bit these days! No wonder people don't want to visit anymore! :) LOL
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yep , im going to be living in a nightmare all week till everything goes back to normal next week ,
i cant say no to my bil . he gets no breaks and is with mom 24-7-367 . she has alz bad and i feel sorry for him , the lady that comes and cks on mom every now and then he did ask her about getting a break , she ask one lady she said i cant . so he s stuck , i couldnt say no . something will work out if it doesnt ah well thats the story of my life . i told him party starts at 5 so be here at five . i dont want him comin at friday and i have to deal with her all weekend . i hope he hears me loud and clear . if they come at friday i ll be poppin zannie all weekend .
i think i need one now . mmmmm
took a nap i think maybe 50 mins , pa started to get restless waa waaa . whats wrong pa ? i gotta go pee . oh ok , got him to bathroom and boy the number two started pilein up in the toilet , was i ever glad to see that ! i was cheering him on . oh paw u pooped a bunch thats good ! now do u feel better ? yeah but i still dont feel good , i know pa that stuffs going around , sinus suckin everybody up .
i got cold ! it is cold out burr , hubby ask me if im going to getthe wood stove going hahaha i said man i feel like it ! ah i put on a sweater and it warm me up in no time ,
man i just hate begin down and i know pa s fed up begin not feeling good . i keep telling myself it could be worst ...
sis is on her way home , said she brought me sandwhich from wendys , mmmm
meow later xoxo
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Linda, tell him.. NO, tell him you will be gone for the weekend... tell him anything. GRL don't let anyone take your Anniversary away from you guys. In spite of all that if you still end up with the whole gang, get drugs and put the lights out and you and ur Hubby have your own party :)

Kim lets face it girl, both are dads are male chauvinists.. If I even think Dad is going to give me a hard time I tell him not to talk to me because "Chucks" in charge and will be taking care of him and I go to my room and watch TV and do nothing. He stops his nonsense when he knows he has to ask the hubby. It is their attitude. We are just to nice. Several times my Dad would come into the living room while we would be watching TV and he would sit in a chair right in front of me as if I didn't even exist.. and instead of setting him straight I would sit there all wounded... BEH.. not anymore though.. I'm done with allowing that. So here's to us Girl! Lets take our power back!!
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I tell you no man has ever appreciated me the way my FIL Charlie did! He was always full of compliments, and lots of times he was full of shit but that's beside the point. LOL One night we were all sitting at the dinner table and Charlie looked over at my hubby and said "how did you get to be such a lucky sob?" My hubby said what? Charlie said.. you have a beautiful wife that loves you and cooks and cleans and even takes care of me.. I tell you he was a blessing. I really miss him. He loved to eat and I loved to cook for him because he appreciated it so much. Come 5pm at night he would be sitting in his chair at the table and ask is dinner ready yet. *giggles* I wish we all had "Charlies"
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Good Evening Crew!

Jen!! BOAT TIME!! c'mon now and let's figure this out.....

annt... it's dementia. they can't use a bell and they can't understand that they will fall. besides, it's just easier when you lay it all on dementia because if you start trying to figure out when they are playing you and when they are not you will be nuts squared in no time.
as hard and frustrating as it is, if you remember that they are sick sick sick and the sickness is of the brain. just a little or a lot, it's still a brain disease with all of the unknown factors built right in. awful.

You guys are the most amazing and Linda... hope you feel better and I have nothing but respect for the fact that you will be hosting the full house of family. I know that there will be some happiness in there and you all will have a good time in spite of broken backs and colds and everything else.

good to see everyone rattle off where they are from and where they have lived. sweet.

love you guys way more than you'll ever know.
lovbob
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Hey thanks Msm. I'll check on that alarm. I had a bad meltdown a little while ago. After changing mama's bandages and getting her ready for bed, my back felt like someone had stuck a red hot poker in it. The nurse said that the tape should never touch the skin. I have some pretty good cloth tape that doesn't tear her skin but she wouldn't use it. So the bandages just slipped right down her arm. Huge rip in her arm just out there as pretty as you please. Nothing covering it. So doggone it I taped the non-stick gauze pads to her arm. At least they are covered. Anyway I was in so much pain I went into the den and had a little hissy fit. Told my husband that I'm putting her in a home and moving to VA with my brother cause I can't deal with either of them any more. Just a little dream of mine.....

When I put her to bed I pulled the bathrobe belt across the bed and tied it down. That's the only way I can keep her in bed. If it's illegal....somebody please arrest me I need a break!

Linda, dang! He spoiled your day with the mil. Doesn't he know you have enough to do already? I hope you let him watch her while they were there. It's 8pm here so they may still be there...if so tell him Ann said he SUX!!!
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Sorry Linda. I posted that before I read your last post. Ok he doesn't suck. My bad. Hope you hold out through it all. Take a pill and put on a happy face.

Love ya
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"somebody please arrest me I need a break!" HAHAHA ANNE, I LOVE IT! HERE'S TO A GOOD MELTDOWN ONCE IN AWHILE!!
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You're probably right Bobbie about the dementia. I was just having a bad day. Still am. Smell smoke in the house, cut off the air conditioner and no more smell. I think the compressor may be burning up. We trying to ck it out now.

All you gals and guys have a peaceful night. Love you and sending hugs to you all.

Ann
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Cricket, my Uncle Ace was a Charlie. He was my Mom's brother. We lost him a few years ago. I miss him! He had dementia too, but was easy to be around. Never a chauvinist. He was 93 when he passed. Brings back good memories! I don't think our Dad's ever got over the males dominate era!

When Dad was better and taking his anger out on me after Mom passed, I gave it to him, and it was better. With this dementia, he has reverted back to old ways. Kind of like a stuck record! Feels good to vent! Maybe he will fast forward! I can always hope!
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Linda, I posted before I knew what bil had to deal with everyday, Sorry! Hugs, Kim
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Marie's Mom good for you that you looked into hospice again-I did learn while caregiving not to take no as the final answer-this is the way hospice is suppose to work. Annt good for you getting out the word about real caregiving-most people think that the elderly are what they see in a nursing home on brief visits where the residents are sitting in wheelchairs sleeping they do not see the other 23 and 1/2 hrs of the day where they are pooping and yelling and biting and hitting the ones caring for them. How many years did it take people to realize how often women were being abused by their husbands and to finally talk about it.
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hospice is good :-)
no pblm u guys , i think i ll take crickets word to grab my hubby and run off somewhere and hide out till its over lol . if he wont go with me i ll grab my best friend and run off and hide . :-) wheres mom ? wheres linda ? wheres my wife ? wheres my friend ? wheres my sil ? ill have a cooler s full ready to go and 2 packs ciggy and drugs of course :-) ... hahaha that be wonderful .
bobbie - thanks my friend , youre right there will be some happiness during the party if not i ll do what cricket says . i think i llbe alright , allmy kids willbe here and wil tell em uhh go ck ongma , uhh go ck on gpa , uhhh take thisinthe house , oh bring the beer , i ll be dement , fallin down where ever , maybe pull my pants down and pee :-) im sure my kids will be so sober to take care of me and mil and gpa :-) , ah now i feel better . giggle giggle evil laugh oohhhhhmmahhhhh .,
now i realy am lookin fwrd to this partay ! maybe i ll call everybody obmaj ! ill point my fingers at em all SHAME ON YOU SHAME ON YOU ! i just had to say that ... :-()
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54j don't give up the squeky hinge gets oiled-you might want to call your office of the ageing-early on in caregiving I thought no was the final word on things-if I can think of any way to help I will post-Ilove to solve problems.
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Mom is in bed.....ahhhhhhhhh Took 1/2 a zannie....even bettter
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oh yes annt - get a old sock and cut toes off and slide that on to ur moms arm , to cover her wounds , put aloota ointments on it and slide that on up there , works like a charms . i had to do that to dad several times till the wound got smaller and i used bandaid .
you know sometimes i felt dad s playing games with me but then i realized in his right mind he would not play games with me , its all part of dementia . the bell is kinda new to ur mom and she ll forget all about em . its sitting there and her mind is saying go get up and she gets up , wham bam downs she goes . dad did that alotta of times . now he cant even lift his own weigh . sad but its a blessing too so i know he wont be falling down anymore . need to play the indian tie em up to the tree (bed) or (chair) . i had to strap dad in bed . tuck em sheets under the mattress and tied another sheet to the rails some time he s so strong he pulls em out other times he s piss cuz he cant get up . lol . its better than havin them hurt themself then we get hurt cuz we have to lift them dead weighs . annt u need try to soak in a hot tub of water to relax , i sometimes have to do that when i hurt so bad all over ,
miz- maybe the next time u can come over and have soup with us . hope ure feeling better today , shits going around and i hate it , i think i may have a flu shot early this year .. xoxo
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linda - they certainly do this in hospital.
If indeed our 'job' is to protect our charge, there is much involved. we must keep them clean and in a clean environment, tend their wounds, ensure they take prescribed meds, take nourishment, and keep them from harming themselves or others. of course all this is relative - how clean do they need to be? What should they eat and how much? I too thought of restricting Mom with a bed-belt wh4en she first moved in as at that time she was on the4 top floor. We solved the fear of her wandering out and breaking her neck on the stairs by removing the door and with some artful sawing, turning it into a "dutch door" Then, we could keep the bottom locked from the outside where she could not reach, and open the top at our pleasure. I tworked well. (we once also installed screen doors in our - back when the babies were babies and I didn't want our cats in the nursery - but neither did I want to close the door.
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