General topics.

Good morning and tgif

the brief lull at work at the start of the year has ended and it's back to late nights at the office

I'm dreading the decisions that will need to be made soon for the Viking - funds are running low

I need to get taxes done and fear the new laws will have me owing

I won't complain about another rainy weekend given how brutal the rest of North America has had it this winter

a friend lent me a book that the old me would have stayed up all night reading but I suspect it will just sit on my nightstand for some time

It has been a life long habit to read at night after I'm tucked in bed so I don't usually allow myself to read during the day.
I've been occupying myself organizing estate tax papers, from what I've read they have the same tax deadline as usual. Sis is dragging her azz getting to the lawyer to sign papers to close an account - I get that she's busy but she is working to occupy her time and in my opinion she doesn't need to be a slave to her job, especially when it means other stuff in her life gets pushed to the back burner. Financial stuff - especially taxes - always makes me antsy, I wish it was over and done.

cw - read???? I gave a bunch of books in my Kindle waiting for me - and a pile of mail that I haven't even opened yet. I prefer the books.

Where's msmadge these days?

Msmadge, calling msmadge Are you OK❓❓❓

It's 8:02 a.m. - I've already had my coffee, checked AgingCare, the news, and the weather. I took the garbage out last night so I didn't have to do it this morning, and did my shopping yesterday. Now what?

Good news- a CNA friend and I are getting my Aunt Rose from a Genesis-owned SNF Monday am, and moving her into a very caring memory-care place much closer.  I haven't told Rose yet, but when I saw her Thurs. she seemed her old pleasant self (except for not liking where she was.) Big sigh of relief.

Yes, it only goes to show you that people do give off an energy and when that energy is negative it changes the whole atmosphere of a place.

Hub's Mom and Dad's place? As soon as I walk in there I want to walk on out again. You can cut the atmosphere with a knife. Sometimes it's so thick even a machete would be required. I swear.

Yeah Gershun...an instant peace comes over me and the house when my dH leaves for a while.Then I can breathe again~

I'm with lucky. Be careful what you wish for. I love my Hubs.....................but........there are times!

I'm just saying.

Ali.....Enjoy your space~Husband's are ALOT of work and take a ton of patience~

Marriage - wow, I'm taken aback, the last thing I want is somebody else in my space, but of course you are younger than I am. I have ambitions to be a cranky old crone (some may say I'm already there).

The charge from the pharmacy was very small, most of mom's meds were covered. It was just a surprise... and opening old wounds, I guess.

I was thinking about the "bucket list," asking myself what's on my list.

I want to get married. Or, at least I think I do, haha. It's still something I think of as "someday" but since I'm mid 40s, I guess I could at least get back to some dating. I've been VERY content this past year to focus on things for me: the relatively new job and totally different career path for now, the new apartment that I've put a bit of work into so I can stay here comfortably for years to come, hopefully...

I haven't been lonely, I'm not lonely. I just want to get married someday so I guess I better go on some dates, then.

I'm planning some fun things for this year coming up. I booked my hotel for a music festival at end of May in Detroit. I'm content and focused on doing fun things for, and mostly by, myself. I just want to snap my fingers and have a comfortable marriage... mostly for companionship reasons... but also I'm a romantic and hoping to find a committed, loving relationship.

...

CW, that's annoying, getting a bill for things you don't remember your mom being given, four months after the fact. Hopefully it's not a lot of money. That would make it much easier to simply pay it and move on.

I got a bill today from the pharmacy - it's been 4 months, you'd think they would have been a little more efficient than that. I'm seeing a charge for haloperidol and nozinan, wtf? Mom wasn't agitated after we started the dilaudid on the first day, she was totally unconscious, and wouldn't they have asked me before giving her that? It's not that I would have said no, it's just... wtf?

Another wish on my list would be meeting alot of the wonderful caregivers on AgingCare and having a big get together~maybe in our pajama's with lots of good food and sweets to share,along with our stories & secrets~

On my Bucket list would be....Going to Hilo Hawaii and swimming with the turtles at Punaluu, a black sand beach..

Yes, good idea for a game, MsMadge. I will be back after finding my pen and paper......and a bucket.

I used to want to pick an orange off the tree and eat it - not a very exciting wish but I've still never done it.

I've always wanted to visit Italy and go sightseeing.

Good topic though Madge!

I've always fantasized about saving someone's life. That one day I'll be in the right place at the right time and just swoop in and save someone. Not that I want anyone to be put in a dangerous situation just to fulfill my fantasy.

But there you go...........that's on my bucket list.

New Game

what’s on your bucket list?

mally I'm aware that Church is not a bldg. I was brought up in a Baptist church and had a very good mother who brought me up with faith so I know that wherever two are more are gathered in his name etc. but I would like to have a ritual, for lack of a better name where I have a place to go and where I feel welcome and could possibly build friendships and so on. I've been mostly disappointed by the people I have met in religious settings. I don't believe you have to act all pious and stodgy to be a good Christian and that seems to be the types I encounter.

I pray about it and I know God will lead me eventually to this place so I'll leave it with him and carry on.

Golden, I spend a lot of alone time contentedly, too. Lots of stuff to do, people to text, email, or they call, AC to read and post, You Tube videos/movies, and best of all (when hubby is away), 6 indoor kitty cats - three upstairs and 3 down, and a sweet dog to talk to and cuddle with! Not to mention books to write; books 4 and 5 are ready to publish - Busy, busy....

Gershun, we go to a church 65 miles away, because the presence of the Lord is so strong there, we love it! In the winter, however, and when my hubby has to work on a Sunday, we've tried other churches in our town. After years in a couple of them, we needed to move on, but couldn't find one to fit here, so we go almost every Thursday to a Bible study in one of the churches that has a real mix of denominations - you can imagine some of the conversations! Fun, though, lively and interesting/informative, and we enjoy being with the other Christians. We all bring snacks, too.... "church" isn't actually a building, you know.

Gershun,
That kind of treatment is experienced as rejection, and it lingers.
It speaks more to the pastor's dysfunction and really has nothing to do with you, imo.

In these days and times, I am reminded of instructions I have heard before,
that is to not check your brain at the door (when entering church). I see that you have already got this!

Our journey and desire for spiritual growth will not end just because the churches end in apostasy.

Golden, you are right and that's what I did. I think I went four times or so and just stopped. He said several times "if you decide to stop coming you don't need to phone, just stop coming" Another remark I found odd but I guess he was trying to stress that it was up to us and to go at our own pace. But also maybe it was a way of releasing himself from any obligation to phone or inquire about our absence if we did stop going. I get that on one hand but it still smacks of indifference a little bit to me as well.

There were only two other people besides him and myself at these sessions. One was a member of his congregation, the other was one of these people who just went on and on about herself and then when we prayed she would throw in "amens" and "thank-you Father" throughout the prayer. To each his/her own but it just annoyed me. Plus I never stated where I was in my own Christian journey to them and he treated me like I was totally ignorant about the Bible. He'd look at me and say things like "just in case you aren't aware" etc. etc. Then he got into this big discussion about how he doesn't counsel women on a one on one basis because of how it might look. I was tempted to remind him of the story in the Bible of how people criticized Jesus cause he let a woman of ill repute wipe his feet with her hair and how Jesus responded to them. My point being Jesus wasn't worried what people thought.

Anyway, it's all water under the bridge now. I stopped going and that was that.

I was more lonely in my first marriage than I ever have been since. Now I am alone a lot. Like Gershun, I can go for days and not see or talk to anyone, (other than texting), but I am never lonely. I like my own company, I have things that I look forward to and that interest me that I do during the day, as well as the less interesting routine chores. ((((((hugs)))))) to those in lonely relationships. I know what it is like. No fun!

Gershun - re that pastor, yikes!!! This is an example where judgement is appropriate. Not calling him names, but evaluating the situation and accepting that he was not good at the job of grief counselling and you needed to stop seeing him. If it (counselor, group etc.) doesn't work for me in the first few sessions, I respect my feelings, stop going and seek something else.

Same here~

I hear that!

My hubs does not have to go away for me to be alone.
It is often more lonely when he is home.

Yes Countrymouse I did consider that. Unfortunately he was not the only negative experience I have had with clergy. I have yet to meet any that I found relatable. That's not to say that I don't believe one is out there. It's just I've personally never had the good fortune of meeting them.