Hey folks, welcome to the new whine/general topic thread. Feel free to use this thread to discuss anything that is on your mind. Caregiving- related stuff, life after a loved one's death, your own emotional wellbeing. Whatever..........anything on your mind.
What's up with the "spider" bite?
Dasiy - I think this is a time for medical people to deal with it. Your hub has been very ill. Some infections are very tenacious and spread "underground". If I were you I would get him to medical,care asap. Let us know what happens. ((((hugs))))
Daisy's husband has BEEN on antibiotic since this bite to his back, Burnt, and indeed on IV antibiotics. He had a tick bite infection and was treated in hospital not long ago, before their recent vacation.
Of concern to me here is that this bite is still up to something. And it is hidden, much like a cat abscess. What can happen is that the surface looks OK, maybe swollen, but under there can be flesh getting literally destroyed.
Just needs to be seen, for sure.
I was bitten by a spider many years ago. I cleaned it with alcohol and put some antibiotic cream on it and went to bed. It started to swell a bit then it gt red and felt hot. This redness and heat was spreading up my leg. I went to the ER and it's a good thing I did. The doctor had to clean it, give me two IV of antibiotics, and I had to go home wth a script to take more antibiotics for a month. Take your husband to the ER today and let them handle a spider bite.
I would stop the cortisone and other home remedies and have the doc check . Hubs may need an antibiotic for that bite . He doesn’t need sepsis again . Some skin infections can be really itchy . There is also ringworm , which is a fungal infection, that is very itchy and would need an anti fungal cream .
Here's the problem with spider bites. Much like a cat abscess which heals over and causes problems under the surface, spider bites often destroy tissue under the surface. That this is puffy could mean there is a crater of supurating matter under it that needs draining.
You can't play around with hubby at this point. He needs to be seem for this.
I have personally experienced a wound that kinda swells around the scab and it is not an issue. Kinda a pickering from a deep wound.
If you are going to use a drawing salve, use a bandage so you can see what is being drawn.
Our dermatologist recommends aquaphor for moisturizing any wounds, I prefer emu oil applied right on top of the silver. He is in agreement that it works well.
Doggie mom, diamond art is fun!!
After I broke up with ex I redid most of the house. I was quite pleased with it. Then the young adult kids started coming back home so that was the end of that. It never really recovered to where it had been for a short while. Maybe I can get this place to where I want it before I step on a banana peel.😉
cw - that's tough. Within 5-10 years something will likely happen to upset the precarious balance they have. Are there kids who would intervene?
R keeps stuff - you name it, he has it. But he is not good at organizing though he generally remembers where things are. So I am on an organizing kick for his bathroom - shelves and baskets, and storage units and next effort is for the "den" which is multifunctional - office for me, crafts for him, some tools, pantry, filing cabinet and so on. There are lots of units which will work well along the walls and set us up better. It's kinda fun!
Re keeping things, I just read that the Canadian govt requires us to keep forever birth and death certificates, marriage and divorces certificates, wills and a couple of others. Apparently they want you to pass them on to the next generation. I don't get this. Most of these certificates are kept by the government. I never did see mother's will -the lawyer had (has?) it and enacted it. I understand the concern for identity theft, so shred them, don't keep them. Tax stuff can go after 7 years. Like what's the point?
I have LOVED downsizing.
All the jewelry that is family has already decades ago been given to daughter.
Photo albums, a lifetime of them torn down, duplicates and similars eliminated, others, boxe in small plastic boxes, one album made of my childhood, and etc. Down from just shelves and shelves to one small wicker trunk for my poetry, my pictures and old family pictures, anything like that.
And admonition on it "Look at it once and throw 99 44/100th out."
I have eliminated collections for profit when children don't want it--the McCoy likely the best investment I ever made.
Of my brothers "thing" I kept the first little carved dog my parents gave him for his Dog Collection; he kept it all his life; I will keep it for mine.
I am down to my Arkansas Roadside Tourist Pottery collection now, and guess what--Darling daughter just visited and took 1/2 of it with her on their first retired road trip between Washington State and their Condo in AZ and I get to see the stuff looking right at home now in AZ. I have stared at it long enough. It is mine in my head until I go. I don't need a s-load of it to hold me underground when I go. (actually being cremated).
When my parents died I wrapped all their albums and sent to my home from Missouri to Calfornia. The postal service did me the favor of losing the entire carton. My partner says "you would have looked at them once and no one else would ever care again. " He's right. The one album I DO wish I had is the one my mom made for my dad of all his old girlfriends. Wow, roaring twenties. The clothes! The cars!
I am good with letting it go. Even the beloved little glass cabin we built for ourselves in the country and maintained after retirement for 15 years. I am good with letting it go because it all is alive and well and I can close my eyes and walk those woods and hedgerows any old time I want.
I used to buy and collect books. Now it's the library and the few shelves I can't let go and someone else must give away (getting close tho).
I think I would love your FB group, Golden!!!
But lord forbid I get yapping anywhere other than where I AM yapping, all too late in the morning, right here!
What fun you have that group.
On a different topic, I belong to a facebook group of women over 80 and recently a member asked about people's experiences downsizing and moving to a smaller place such as a seniors community. They, aged 85 and 90, didn't know how they could manage without their 4 cats, one bird, many many books and plants and a large garden. They do hire help for housecleaning and gardening. so they can stay in their home. Good luck to them. This query arose because their son was urging them the move to a smaller and more senior suited place. To me, if you can hire enough care, staying in your home is reasonable. But it does beg the question of who will dispose of it all when you are gone.
Note- this is no reflection on anyone here or a parent of anyone here who has chosen to stay in their home. It certainly in one of the options. I think of Elizabeth here and her husband. They have reasoned it through and are able to stay in their home and it is working for them.
There were many answers and the majority from people who had already downsized, most of whom were happy in their new arrangements. There are even senior communities where you can have a garden plot to work on. This group realised that they needed more support and that, as they aged, illness/bone breaks etc can happen and change life and capabilities very quickly, A few didn't like it and moved back to more independent living.
And then there were the stubborn minority. "I've lived here over 50 years and I'll only leave feet first," Of them, most felt they couldn't live without their books, plants, pets, garden, independence and so on. This is their life and they are going to live it the way they want to was the attitude.
Sound familiar?
Interestingly, there was very little talk from anyone about children (other than a few sons urging parents to downsize), and what their adult kids would have to deal with when their senior parent became incapacitated.
For the most part they are an upbeat group, though there are posts about depression, family problems and other illnesses. It's going to be interesting to see how people cope as. inevitably, they decline. It will be especially interesting to see what happens to those who are adamant about keeping everything and staying in their large homes.
I find disposing of them helpful in moving forward .
I can't imagine how much you are dealing with but, you got this! Keep taking care of the things you can and stay strong in what sounds like the crisis management you are forced into with no control. Mind spinning stuff that is.
May The Lord give you strength, wisdom and more strength to deal with the things you must and may HE give you the peace and courage to step out of it, if at all possible, even in small ways.
Great big warm hug! Go get a little sun and fresh air today, it helps.
I was making light of the diary thing because I myself often do reach out when things are bad for me, making it perhaps seem that they are worst than my daily life is. I know. I am currently healing a radiation burn at my left armpit that no matter what I do wants to break down just every time I move; I fear I will have frozen shoulder before I am done, and every time I think it is beat, boom--there it goes again. (though overall smaller and improving each bout). And playing into it is the fact that's the latest mastectomy side where I am SUPPOSED to do all these exercises to keep thing loose and keep them from cording. I can get myself feeling low and hate that I can't do my normal "chores", can't help the old man take the garbage bins down the stairs, etc.
There are times we think we are coming up for air and we just submerge again.
I hope things will get better for you, Venting.
@ all others, we cannot conceivably all agree with one another. We don't have to. And I think the value in our opinions is often that they DIFFER. Differing opinions give our OPs a continuum on the scale, a comfortable place "to be" wherever they have landed at the moment.
Some of us are always kind, level, stable, without a bad word for anyone else: NeedsHelp I still miss; Barb is always as stable as she can be. Some of us are more rough around the edges, more blunt. And I think our OPs benefit from the mix because if someone levels an unpleasant truth there is always another to just listen, grasp a hand in friendship. I think the mix works. People DO come back and say we helped.
I truly hope we won't lose our regulars, so long here, so helpful to so many people over time, because of anger and hurt.
My mom's slipping mentally and physically, I have no control, I'm doing my best to keep my worries down.
Isthisrealllyreal, I'm glad your back!! I hope you stay!! I hear you, and agree with it all!! 👏🫂
by the way:
BREAKING NEWS!
you’re super cute!
🥰🌸🥰
Alva, no I don’t write here in order to keep a diary. You can’t guess what I’m going through. An unbelievably hard time. Sometimes I post about it, and even the slightest positive words from people here, have helped me a lot. We all need help, encouragement, sometimes. What is going on, is out of my control. But the friendly words from some people here, have always lifted me back up.