General topics.

Talking with hubs (rare conversations), topic was how to heal from the narcissist in your life. One Youtube author suggested journaling.

I commented on his journaling, non-judgmental, no gossip, no opinions, just the facts of what he did that day. Mine would not be as pure.

I asked him if he thought journaling was helpful, then asked if he thought that I should be journaling. And what if someone finds it, and it's about them?

He said for me to use disappearing ink.

😂😂😂

No wonder it's hot at your house MsMadge!
Love Shack by the B-52's.

Name that tune

wearing next nothing cause
it's as hot as an oven

So sorry to hear boot shopgirl

I hated having to place the Viking in memory care too but once you've made the decision then move forward - your mom will still need you and her journey isn't over yet so no guilt

prayers for a smooth placement

Crap hit the fan the last 2 weeks. I posted on the bratt thread. I'm having to place my Mommy in the memory care or n.h. I hate this! I need Love bad guys. It's 1:09 a.m. Please give me your prayers. I love you all. Grace and Peace needed for me please!

I've always confused desert 🌵 With dessert 🍰

Probably why I can't even remember ever weighing 118 - I got down to 123 once but that was a very long time ago

MsMadge,
Are you sure the article didn't say "dessert" food?

Chocolate cake, cheesecake, lemon meringue pie, watermelon, ice cream, popcorn, and fritos?????

Dyslexia, I think I have dyslexia. Was that 181 and 182?
But then, I don't even own a scale.

Gershun. The 118 comment is hysterical. I would be happy with 128. The only time my weight goes down is when everything is going wrong. Right now it's a somewhat OK time so I have been avoiding the scale. It rarely reads what I would like it to unless I can barely drag myself out of bed to get to it. And then am not happy generally to say the least so the joy erodes.

CWillie, I feel so sad for you. When I watched my own Mom dying in the hospital, gasping for each breath I certainly had a crisis of faith myself. I seriously thought I was losing it one night when I spent the whole night with my Mom. At certain points of the night her breathing sounded like Satan himself. I had almost convinced myself that Satan and God were battling for her soul while I sat and watched. Obviously not, but it's amazing what grief, lack of sleep, lack of food, anger at God will do to you.

It's natural as a believer to be angry at God when you see a loved one wracked with pain and you are a helpless bystander. I came home from that particular hospital visit doubting everything. My faith etc. But then I looked out my window at the beautiful spring flowers, the sun shining, the world in all its beauty and intricacy and thought, of course there is a God who loves us.

Don't forget God is in his Kingdom. Earth is where Satan rules temporarily. God can take away our pain or at the very least help us deal with it. Why he doesn't sometimes is a mystery but I still believe he knows what he is doing and I have to just contend with that.

I know you probably are just thinking "Oh Gershun, just shove it!" but I'll always stick up for God even though it makes me sad to hear the sadness in your post Willie. ((((Hugs))))

Someone once asked me why I go to church and I told them it was because there was a whole room full of people who actually knew my name and I liked the singing. Through my caregiving years a new generation grew up in the church that I don't recognize, and they changed the hymn book. Although there are still the old timers who know my name and might actually speak to me I find myself resenting the need to toss $$ on the collection plate, joining the lines of tourist traffic headed to the beach to get there and answering the well meaning questions about my mother. I want to give the honest answer to "How is your mother" - she's a helpless sack of bones trapped in a wheelchair and if god were truly merciful he's never let people live this way, and "How old is she?" - too damned old!!

The only 118 I want to be is 118 pounds maybe.

Cwillie
hope mom doesn't need a breathing treatment today and she can enjoy some food with you there
you've taken such good care of her for so many years
give yourself a treat today in celebration of being a wonderful daughter

Willie, Happy Birthday to your Mom! I could say wow, what a milestone..........almost 100, but I think I know why you aren't sure how to feel. If being 100 means another year of suffering for her and yourself then the hell with milestones right? I remember my Mom's last Birthday was her 92nd. For some reason I was pulling for her to live till 100. Not quite sure why now. Of course cause as long as she was healthy and happy, great. But that was not the case.

Age is just a number, especially if quality of life is substandard. I find myself amused when the weather forecasters always say "and a Happy 103rd birthday to Hazel, Bertha, Betsy, etc. etc. " Occasionally they'll have footage of some dear old thing sitting in front of a huge cake, people standing around beaming at her. She, not so much.

Willie, if you aren't sure how to feel I think that's only natural. But all the best to your Mom irregardless. One day at a time as they say.

Today is mom's bday and I just can't figure out how to feel about that.

Eating grass and cactus AND having to wash the dishes afterwards! Bollocks to that. Hand me the cheesecake. On a paper plate.

There was an article on yahoo over the weekend about a woman who was 118 living in Mexico- still able to walk and do her dishes
seems her secret to long life is eating desert food -

I have no no interest in living to 118, especially if it involves eating cactus and grass

On sleep. I might wake up at 4:30 am or so. But if I feel good and refreshed, the 4 or 5 hours I've had have done their job. I feel rested and that is not always the case.

The news is again, or still, so bad, I cannot watch.
Thanks for mentioning it MSMadge, because if we cannot talk about it, the stress can get cha! Luckylu also aknowledged the fires.
When the news reported one can see the fire clouds from 80 miles away, they were right. Then there was a Firenado! Less news, more prayers.

So tragic that Yosemite is burning, after barely recovering from the drought in California.

However, I read of tragedies happening throughout the U.S., and the world.
Some happening to our caregivers on top of the daily caregiver challenges.
My heart goes out to all.

California is on fire again
idllywild
yosemite
redding

While driving home from work in the evening, I had it on my favorite channel, the Fresh Air of NPR. The topic was "Why We Sleep". Interviewing sleep scientist Matthew Walker. I couldn't really pay attention to it while driving so I came home and downloaded onto the podcast. I haven't listened to the entirety yet.

There is a very strong correlation with not having enough sleep and Alzheimer. Best to have 8 hours of sleep. Deep sleep doesn't count if you keep getting up throughout the night. Very interesting how our brain has a way of cleaning the junk out of it. But in order to do that, we must go into deep sleep. "making it up" during the weekend doesn't work. The thing is, some of us are genetically wired to not be able to sleep 8 hours. Maybe we're genetically wired for 6 hours and wake up refresh (not me.).. Does those who only need 6 hours of sleep and wake up refresh still benefit from the deep sleep?

Getting sleep using Ambien does not really put you into deep sleep. It's more like sedation. So if you go to sleep using sleeping pills, you're not really going into deep sleep. So, that doesn't count, either.

Another thing I recalled was that our brain has a sewage system, the glymphatic system - that works throughout the day. But when we go into deep sleep, it kicks into high gear. It removes the sticky protein beta amyloid... That's the last I heard. Still need to listen to the entirety at a later date...

Time to shower and hit the sack. My new goal is try to increase my sleeping hours. Since I heard this interview, I have learned to sleep in a completely dark bedroom with No nightlight. I have brought a flashlight which I now keep by the side table near my bed. But I'm still waking up throughout the night. Still waking up at 6:30am tired. In the morning, my bedding looks light I've been tossing and turning, though I could have sworn I slept well....

Supper at the NH was pureed chicken tortellini with a side of broccoli. Mom was awake and ate pretty well and finished her juice and water, she ran out of steam after a few bites of brownie though. When the dietary aide saw me taste mom's brownie puree she brought one for me... yum! I know that mom is now napping in her chair before they put her in bed and I know she ate one good meal today so I'm glad I went (plus, did I mention the brownie...) 😊

I seriously need to get a life, I've been unable to connect with AgingCare and I think I was going into withdrawal. The weather is cool and damp so I don't want to be outside and there is very little to do in my small town that doesn't involve spending money - shopping or eating - and the shops aren't much and the restaurants are mostly all fast food or meh.

Mom is having a sleepy day and barely woke up long enough for me to spoon some yogurt I brought from home and a few sips of coffee and juice into her at lunch, when I popped in this morning I saw that almost all of her breakfast was uneaten too. I know I said I wasn't going to obsess, but should I go back for supper?

And, the winner is Barb!!!!

seems to me she won our first game of name that tune too 👏👏👏

first prize is popcorn and candy 🍿 🍫

Even if you can't get out to the movies to see Mamma Mia 2 this weekend, order a pizza 🍕 and watch something fun with music like the original Mamma Mia

take a chance, take a chance

Yes, CM, when the goal is getting others to play, giving the wrong answers works.
Consulting dH, an expert about movies, he knew the answer right away, but what fun would that have been?

We both had a great time creating "other" movie titles last night for this thread.
He had me laughing!

MsMadge always has the best games, and a good distraction from the stress of taking myself too seriously.

Just saw this title in the radio listings:
Play Chopsticks For Me

Mama Mia!

Ah...Gershun's thread and friends! But now I'm sorry to hear Veronica's husband died. I'm also blind from searching this new format on my android phone. Have a good day my friends!

What does the winner get this time MsMadge?