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Gershun.........
A two hour one-sided conversation, and you have heard it before?

That is socially just wrong, so very wrong.
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Tell me about it.....................P
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Gershun, Jake Thackray wrote a song called "On Again, On Again" - an outrageously misogynistic song, actually, though not really about his wife whom in real life he adored.

"She will not take a hint but once she's made a start
I can yawn or belch or bleed or faint or fart
She'll not drop a syllable
I could stand in front of her grimly sharpening up an axe
I could sprinkle her with paraffin and ask her for a match -

She'd just go on again on again on again even more
The hind leg off a donkey is peanuts for her!
She could bore
The balls off a buffalo..."

Anyway, if you look it up and learn to hum it it'll give you something to take your mind off the family stories.

I did once literally cry from boredom. The man was my mother's friend's husband, and I couldn't get up and leave, but when I thought he was getting to the end and then oh God he revved up again and started down a new topic I could no longer help myself - I gulped, sobbed, and the tears ran down my face.

It can genuinely be torment. I'd say filing your nails is a comparatively gentle way to express "make him stop!!!"
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Christmas decorations: Neighbor who wanted to be paid to help is taking a nap. Dh does not "want" to help. This is not at all fun anymore. Sad.

No cookies and hot chocolate, no fun at all.

Disappointed that I am not strong enough to do it myself.

Later maybe.
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It isn't even advent yet, there is no rush.

Have the hot chocolate anyway, buy some candy canes to stir it with.
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I'd help you if I were there Send. Don't be sad!

Countrymouse, I think if I held a flame thrower in front of Hub's Dad he would still natter on. He is going deaf now too so he's pretty much oblivious. My Hub's brother in law takes his phone out and tunes him out and doesn't care if he notices. It's kind of sad but at the same time who wants to keep listening. It was boring the first twelve times i heard it................I doubt that it will become more interesting with time.
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Everyone to Sends house to help her decorate and Put a smile back on her face.
Would if we could Send, would if we could. :)
Cheer up,
If Tweety had hands I know he would help you.
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Looking up Advent and Christms lights......

Ah, this is in Italian so I cannot read it:

Le luci di Natale cominciano a vedersi in Novembre, dissolvendo una crescente oscurità. E’ solo consumismo e laicità, o in qualche modo le luci di Natale sono legate al vero significato dell’Avvento e del Natale?

Thank you all for the generous thoughts, I especially like the candy canes in the hot chocolate, heated up with a blow torch, maybe.

Just wondering where exactly my family of origin got their traditions. Dh does not celebrate advent. Me? I am going to study Advent more now, and put up some more twinkle lights.....a movie quote, dont'cha know?

I bet the Viking will know......

Don't worry about me though, I do have some little tchotchke snow bears pulling a candle on their sleighs.....

And Tweety can fly around with the tinsel in his beak, looking for the Christmas tree we also are not gonna have.

All love and respect to all traditions, making light (pun intended) of only my own.
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Aww Send,

mi dispiace but when in doubt, just put up some more twinkle lights

or, go to See's for a free sample then off to Starbucks for a honey pistachio croissant
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Tomorrow,
Hot Chocolate and honey pistachio croissant! I looked that up too, it looks so very scrumptious!
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Wow! Totally forgot about decorating.... getting hubby out of his chair and me off the computer and going down the basement to get the stuff.... yeaah!
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I guess I have to start by saying I lived with my sister and BIL for 20+ years after I "temporarily" moved in to help with her first child. (Hey, it worked for us, what can I say). Anyway over the 10 years they have been looking after themselves the house has gradually become a place that is... unkempt, to put it kindly. This a.m. sister called me because BIL has fallen and can't get up but refuses to call an ambulance and sis is wondering if she has to take a day off work (Oh, yeah, big marital dysfunction too). I was supposed to be going there today and spending the night (estate stuff) but I don't want to step into this big $h**storm, you know?

I'm writing here because I don't have anybody else to unload this on. And that sucks too.
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CWillie,
Isn't there a snow drift or something in your way, preventing your arrival too soon?

Hoping Bil gets with the program and ambulance comes, Sil off work. This will document his needs to medical staff early. Even two peope might not be a good solution trying to pick up someone who has fallen. imo. And you might like to help, but you are not emergency services. Hoping Bil is okay, no broken bones or concussion.
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There is lots of drifting snow on my route Send, that was one of the reasons I planned to be there an extra day (and shopping of course). BIL has been having problems and sis has been pushing him to go to the docs and then pushing the docs to look a little bit deeper; he is obviously getting worse, not better.

Of course I haven't heard an update, and that's part of the dysfunction too.
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Hi, it's been a long time since I have ask for help. I've been getting allot of help following your site.
My Dad is legally blind, Very hard of hearing, can't walk & has a permanent catheter & has dementia (in a nursing home).
I've just got him off Cymbolta & lorazepam, I'm POA (he didn't believe in psychoactive drugs). Doing well to all the doctors surprise. But! This weekend he ask for a happy pill!? He doesn't understand anything about drugs.
My question is " Are there any drugs that are NOT a psychoactive drug that might help his depression & satisfy his request (thc, placebo?). Thanks Max
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Hemmi, was he tapered off of the drugs or were they just stopped cold turkey? The reason I ask is that some of these medications can have severe withdrawal effects if they are stopped suddenly. I know Lorazepam is one of them, as it is a benzodiazepine. The doctor has to slowly taper the patient off of them to minimize these effects, which can include severe anxiety and even seizures in extreme cases.

I would ask his doctors about this. If he is going through withdrawal anxiety, that might explain his discomfort; he may just not be able to articulate it.
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Send,
We are Methodists and have celebrated Advent candle lighting on each Sunday before Christmas. Now you are forcing me to look up what it really means after 56 years lol! We have a log candle holder for the little candles that I made in 5th grade. It's the 4 preceding Sundays before Christmas that you light a candle for each week until Christmas. That's all I know.
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Is anyone familiar with Arnica oil? I have been introduced to this and I am going to make my own oil, just wondering if anyone else has made the oil.
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I should have a look on YouTube, Smeshque.

I was offered some arnica cream for my son by his schoolfriend's father at a sports event when my son got bashed about a bit. Good for bruises, apparently. I remember it particularly because the man was Chairman of a major manufacturing company with links to armaments, and I'd never have guessed he'd be into homoeopathy.
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Oh, thank you Boots!
That explains the mystery to me about the Advent calendar and celebrating Advent! I was, for a time, raised Methodist, received a Methodist bible (likely in summer church school). But since I forgot all that early childhood after my parents divorced, I just did not remember. I had wondered, many times, about the dedicated bible, and if I had made a confession of faith back then. And that Advent calendar has just been a mystery, still is,, after all these years.

Trader Joes is selling the Advent calendars for only 99 cents, but I wouldn't know what to do with it.
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Smeshque,
There are many things to rub on for pain.
My hubs physical therapist had recommended creams with menthol (a certain %) in it, but that stinks!
I had a bottle of "Two Old Goats" but threw it away (it was so old) after my knees were hot and bright red after using it the other day. Who knows now what was in it?
I do have many products with arnica in it, some work better for pain. If one is making their own, it needs the proper dilution into fractionated coconut oil.
I don't know what that is!! It is all so expensive! Try online for a recipe?
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You see? One can discover their lost childhood traditions being in community with others!
All it took was curiosity, and CWillie's statement: "Don't worry, it is not even advent yet".

I am liking all of this.
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Had a Snow Village [Dept 56] sitting in bins in the basement, and use to put up the village for the holidays. Then age creep in [now 70 something] so the trek up and down the basement stairs became too tiring plus the setting up everything. So the bins gathered dust.

I finally had a brain storm [about time] and asked my sig other's daughter if she would be interested in having the whole village. Oh my gosh, you'd think she won the lottery. So we loaded her car with the bins for her drive back up north. And as of yesterday, her pre-teen and teenage daughters had the village set up. They love it :)

It was a win-win for everyone.

I plan to keep holiday decor simple. I still use a fake 3 foot Christmas tree that my late Dad put together decades ago, using diodes as Christmas lights, and an old electric shaver cord to plug everything in. He was like Red Green :)
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I am home again. BIL is in the hospital having tests. So far they can't figure out what is wrong, I suppose that could be a good thing as it rules out the most obvious things that might plague a middle aged man. At least somebody is taking him seriously for a change, although I suspect he may be his own worst enemy - when asked by his brother (who came to get him off the floor) "how are you doing" he replied "I'm fine". 🙄
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CWillie,
My mother is currently in the hospital and you get the same answer.
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Stones are touring in 2019
start me up 👅
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I wanna complain about small town attitudes. More than once I've encountered people who have told me "I know everyone" - well no you don't, you don't know me, you don't know my extended family, you don't know my connections. When they say "I know everyone" they really mean they know everyone on the "A" list, those in their own social circle. And because everyone in their circle knows the movers and shakers of the community the assume that everyone has heard about the things that people need to know.
Case in point: yesterday the fire dept was cruising the streets looking for donations to the food bank. I did find a flyer about it in the mail that I picked up this morning (and yes I did pick up the mail earlier in the week). Yesterday I thought I had better check the church's Facebook page and it's a good thing I did because services were move to 8:30 rather than 11:00. Nope, I haven't been to church for 3 weeks. No, I have no contact with anyone else who might have warned me. Yeah, my social circle is minuscule. I do my best to try to seek out info on every web source I can find, but I still usually find out about stuff after the fact. It's so fricking isolating.
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CWillie,
Yes, I agree it is isolating for you. You have been very busy, out of the loop you might say. The Christmas season is a good time to reconnect with anyone whom you had to leave behind while caring for your Mom. If those people are someone you once enjoyed. Also, give it time to be making new friends.

You can do it! I cannot believe your post just sat here without being acknowledged
all this time! Where'd everybody go?

The caregiver's curse.....some will be wary to call you up.....a fact because no one knows how to approach someone who recently lost their loved one, how long should we wait if a person is in mourning? I do not know, and maybe others are hesitant. Hoping your social circle expands. Caregivers here are a part of your social circle, yes?

Wondering if other caregivers have experienced anything similar?
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I would rather know just a few good people, than know e v e r y o n e !
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I agree Send!
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