General topics.

Here in Ontario no person working at a nursing home is allowed to receive a 'gift' from resident or family - however I know that staff xmas party is in early Dec & there are door prizes - I always donate a bottle of wine to add to door prizes & that they can do because it is a random draw so not just pointed at any 1 person/staff member - try that if they will let you - the management is always grateful for those small gifts of appreciation & the randomness keeps away from being a 'bribe for better service'

Send that is one of my favorite poems. First time I read that was in a class I took when I was in my early twenties. We all contributed a page to a keepsake book that we could take home with us. One of the ladies in the class wrote out that poem. I fell in love with it immediately.

Lovely poem, Send

Send, thank you for the poem. It was very timely and I really needed those words. I especially like the part about planting a garden instead of waiting for someone to bring flowers.

Someone should have told me when I was young that there is an easy way to get bigger boobs, just put on 25 lbs ;)
Or maybe my winter clothes shrank over the summer?

cwillie....Extra weight does give you bigger boobs,even bigger feet too.When I had my extra weight I had cleavage up to my chin but nowI don't even wear a bra anymore because my boobs disappeared.And I went from a 9 wide shoe to an 8 and a half average.Weird....huh.

Speaking of tighter clothes, what the heck happened? I always wore the same size top and now at 70 it is like I went to the next size up overnight and I hadn't added any more extra weight over the year. Even my bras have become too tight.

Guess we just widen over time. Menopause is so wonderful to us :P My Mom widen, even weighing 95 lbs she wore size 12 slacks and size 36 or Medium tops.

It usually gets me when someone on TV chimes in saying they wear size 2... yeah, right, in their dreams... no way. Can't understand why society makes the size of what someone wears so important? Looking like Twiggy can't be that healthy.

For sure Freqflyer!Everyone should carry a little extra padding in case they get sick.

Size 2, I don't even know what that means, probably that they shop in really expensive stores. I can still fit into some pants that are an 8 from pricey shops, walmart jeans need to be a 12 or 14. I know that back in my skinniest teen days I wore a size 12... these changing sizes are hilarious.

My friend, who is a nurse, calls the extra weight 'your fighting weight'.
If one gets cancer, as you know, the treatment results in loss of weight, so a little added weight is needed. Anyone agree with this theory?

Well, I guess you will agree, Lu, because you already said it.
Got my armor on and it's really heavy!

Gershun, MsMadge, Katie,
So glad that you enjoyed the poem.
I am enjoying this new thread!

Today is a busy day. By default, already took dH to an appointment and must take him to work at noon. Going to clone myself to be at my own appointment at noon!
Really, don't think he does this on purpose, does he?

About two weeks ago, Mom's daytime caregiver gave me a heads up that Mom gave #1 loser brother her credit card number so he could go to the vet with his sick cat. The caregiver cautioned Mom that she should clear this with me but Mom snapped back "It's MY money"

$230 charge came in. I confronted Mom and she pretended not to know anything about it but gave enough information that it was clear that she knew exactly what she did.

So, now I am stalking #1 loser brother on facebook and I see where the problem was not solved and there are possibly more expensive tests in the cat's future.

So now I must either

a) call him and threaten him if he uses the card again

b) cancel the card so he can't use it

c) get over it and resign myself to the fact that she is willing to give him all of her money just to keep him happy.

Mom2Mom, I'd go for c. - unless your mother is short of money for her own needs, that is, of course.

I am a cat lover, so I admit to a certain amount of bias, but more importantly your mother's right - it is her money, and there's nothing inherently dotty or irrational about wanting to help your child pay a bill if he's struggling. Also, it kind of bolsters the case for her choosing to pay this bill for him if you suspect she knew exactly what the charge was all about. Rational as you like, even if a dangerous precedent.

But you can't have wild credit cards roaming all over the place. If your brother still has it, ask him for it back; if it doesn't come back pronto, cancel it.

To cheer you up, I'll pass on the advice my best friend's husband gave her when her two Burmese got cat 'flu because she didn't believe in vaccinations and they ended up in intensive care at £100 a night: "Get New Cats."

Churchmouse. I am walking a tight line as POA. Is it my moral, legal and ethical obligation to protect her from herself and her bad financial decisions or is my job merely to physically manage the funds according to her wishes...no matter how stupid they are.

Her first instinct, every single time she talks to him or even thinks of him is to give him money. Usually because "he is hungry" or needs heat or needs....

He has never worked. He sponges off of her constantly. She will tell me to send him a chack. I ask her "how much?" and she will usually tell me something like "$100".

So, I then ask her how long a hundred dollars will solve his problems. Her answer varies but is often in the range of one week.

I then tell her that the other boys are struggling equally. Should she give them $100 also? That is $300 per week. Times 52 weeks a year, that would be almost $16,000 a year. She has usually tuned me out by this point in the conversation and I manage to just ignore her request to send money.

Mom has been with me since March 2015 and he has visited once, on mothers day 2015. He lives an hour away and has no job or family or any other obligations keeping him.

He has never initiated a phone call to see how she is doing or to tell her he loves her or anything.

My comment to him - if I ever planned on speaking to him again - would be "cat's are free at the shelter". No, actually I wouldn't say that. I would say that you should not have a pet unless you can afford to care for it.

M2M, I just logged in again meaning to send you a hug - I do appreciate the outrageousness of your brother's attitude, and the frustration of your mother's apparently having zero judgement on the whole subject, from whether or not she's being equitable (ha!) to whether or not her failure - failure? Failure's a bit hard. Lack of success, say - to encourage self-reliance might have contributed, and be continuing to contribute, to brother's sticky financial situation.

As POA, the guideline is you continue to act on her behalf as she wishes provided it does not jeopardise her welfare. Then again, if she hadn't trusted your judgement she wouldn't have given you POA, would she? Ugh...

Fun times!

Mom2Mom,
The one positive thing I can see is that your Mom's caregiver gave you a heads up. Good for her, and good for you for finding a cooperative honest caregiver.

SendMe.... I absolutely LOVE this caregiver. My kids are in love with her too. She is five years younger than my mother (she's 79) and the children's biggest worry is not my mother dying but can we keep Carol when she does.

Carol is my spy. She keeps me in the loop about all of my brother's attempts to get money out of my mother.

In exchange, I guard her secret because if Mom figures out that Carol is snitching to me, she may not be as open in front of her.

I trust Carol with my mother's credit card and cash but I don't trust my mother with either one of them at all.

I expect it is going to get pretty quite on here as all our American friends get ready for Thanksgiving!
My nephew used to date a young woman whose family moved north from the States and she shared with him her family's classic sweet potato recipe with marshmallows. I had a hard time convincing nephew it was meant to be part of the main course, not dessert. I'm still not sure he believed me LOL

My Dad had passed on a couple of months ago, and this evening one of his regular caregivers telephoned me to see how I was doing.... that was so sweet of her. We talked about some of Dad's favorite stories of his childhood, like the time the Sheriff gave him a ticket for running a STOP sign while Dad was riding his horse home from school. Well, the horse was in a hurry to get back to the barn :) And the time Dad and his brothers, back in the 1930's made their Mom a gasoline fueled washing machine.

Dad and his brothers were like that Canadian comedy show from years ago called "Red Green" where Red would make things from parts in his garage. My Grandmother never knew what the boys were inventing out in the barn and machine shed.

FF, your dad sounds so neat and nice that his caregiver called to talk to you.

You know what went through my mind when I read about how he and bros would be out tinkering with mechanical things...? My 12 yo nephew is such a cutie, and an active mind, but he wanted me to do the "salt and ice challenge" and the "bottle flip challenge" tonight with him -- both ridiculous things from Internet viral-video land. Their young lives are very affected by so much media/Internet bombardment.

I officially feel like an old fart now, I need to start yelling "get off my lawn" or something. :-)

"That crazy younger generation, being raised on Internet ridiculousness..."

But, very much for real, my nephew poured salt on my hand, then put an ice cube on it, and the point was to see how long before it burns into my hand. How....... why....... who thinks this is "good fun?" lol Good night.

Ali, curiosity forced me to look those internet challenges up. The water bottle one is harmless enough but the ice one (shaking my head). Makes me think of how parents used to say "if all your friends jumped off a bridge would you do it?" when they challenged stupid behaviour. Too many of these memes are potentially dangerous and self destructive, especially for the kids that are driven to "win".
Yep, old fart here too ;)

Old fart here too. Would not put my hand in an alligators mouth either like I saw an "expert" do on TV. maybe the older we get we realize how much closer to death we are and self preservation kicks in.

FF, love the stories about your father. :-)

What IS a meme?

I thought a meme was a caption that accompanies a picture. Seriously not sure countrymouse.

Meme - Wikipedia

A meme (/ ˈ m iː m / MEEM) is "an idea, behavior, or style that spreads from person to person within a culture".

In general, any image online that is accompanied by a caption or words that go with the image, contained within the image itself, is commonly referred to as a "meme." For best explanation, imho, search "meme maker." You'll see options for images (including uploading your own), then a way to put words on that image.

The common usage today probably started because of the literal definition, but now the word "meme" most likely refers to the thing that you will find under "meme maker." ;-)

Nerding out here. :-) I looked up Urban Dictionary's definition, because they're almost always good for the "slang" or colloquial-Internet definition, but not this time. They also define as the wiki definition.

I disagree with that as the only definition because I will make a unique meme for a friend's birthday, or they will make me one, and it's not spread anywhere except between the two of us. We're using the word incorrectly, redefined to mean "an online image that contains words within the image," but that is still the most common use/understanding of the word when used online.

Cheerio, I'm off to eat turkey and ham and sugar cream pie. ;-) Have a great day.