General topics.

Kicking a wheelchair, well that's one thing hubby has not done yet but he does run it into walls, over people's feet off curbs etc. Yesterday he stopped the car so the door could not open. It was blocked by some iron thing that looks like a hitching post for a horse. He did get out and then moved it forward.

Gershun,
Take the high road, wherever that leads you!
But definitely not out into the street to be hit by a car.
(Hope your hubs was not planning on driving it) Lol.
Have a wonderful Birthday lunch, a Happy Birthday month too!

Ah, surprise sis and take hubs along.

Gershun, I have know it all in laws. I just let them ramble on and wait to see how outrageous they can get. Of course, I do that to bug husband who says that I exaggerate how bad FIL and MIL can be. I just don't care anymore what *those people* think. I however order the most expensive item on the menu and make a lot of noise eating it to cover the droning sound of politics....I just keep repeating I hope you get what you think you voted for....

I've recently been running into some government snafus regarding the spelling of mom's name. Way back when her birth was registered her name was spelled incorrectly. Mom never bothered to change it, after all the only time you needed to produce a birth certificate was when you crossed the border and even then it was hardly more than a formality. Well today it seems you need dozens of pieces of ID just to breathe and that stupid misspelled name is coming out to bite me. Our nurse was in today updating all our forms to the new (incorrect) spelling and wondered if it would cause problems with the death certificate when that time comes. With so many of that generation illiterate (it was normal to quit school after 8th grade) or changing their names to be more culturally acceptable (it didn't pay to be too german in the early part of the last century) you would expect that this can't be a unique problem.

Modern society will drive people crazy, cwillie. Since everything is computerized, it all has to be exact. The problem is that life is not as exact as all that. Computers don't understand snafus. One day maybe they'll make computers and robots that actually understand the range of things that happen. One digit or one word off, they go into error mode.

cwillie- I had a similar situation with my mom. Mom had been given a middle name at birth- on the birth certificate etc. While mom was still in middle school she decided she didn't like the name and began using a different one. Throughout moms life she used her new middle name 95% of the time - only using the official one on her passport and inexplicably on an occasional account. After mom passed I was unsure which to use on the death certificate, even considered putting both. In the end I went with the official name and of course then used it for probate. To my surprise there have been no problems - which I was expecting cause - when things can go wrong they usually do right?

I've decided to basically ignore the whole thing, the provincial gov't can spell her name any way they want, just as long as they keep paying her healthcare. Of course her birth cert and SIN # names don't match, but Revenue Canada has never had any problems accepting her tax payments....

cwillie my Mom had this problem as well. Her given name was one thing but she went by her middle name. Finally she went to a notary republic and had a signed affidavit stating this to avoid any confusion.

So, I'm off to lunch with sis. Anxiety ridden. Isn't it sad. I should be happy to be meeting my sis for lunch and instead I have an upset tummy. :(

Gershun, I hope the lunch goes well ! Let us know how it went.

Gershun! Be sure to eat something at lunch-or better yet-a cracker now.
Hard to tell if it is upset tummy or hunger?
1 tsp. of organic apple cider vinegar.
Have fun!

So I am back from lunch with sis. It went fine except I made the mistake of drinking 2 9 oz. glasses of red wine. Here it is mid afternoon and I feel blitzed. I am not a drinker. I guess I just needed liquid courage. Big mistake. Feeling tipsy in the middle of the day and then going for a walk through the mall afterward. Not a good idea. LOL

But lunch was fine. We chatted about stuff. Family stuff mostly. I find when it's just me one on one with sis that she isn't so bad. Has nobody to show off for maybe? I don't know. But things went fine nonetheless. Now I am going to have a big glass of water and a nap. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Gershun, that's great that your lunch with sis went fine. I know I tend to drink more alcohol and drink it faster when I'm any sort of nervous.

When I went "home" recently to attend a high school friend's funeral and I knew I would see people from high school that I haven't seen in a long time and I somehow feel judged by (probably mostly just my paranoid imagination... lol... plus also a funeral which is sad and I didn't want to cry), I stopped to get the smallest bottle of cinnamon whiskey. It was half pint size, I think. I thought it didn't look too big but I was drunk by the time the funeral was over and that was around 1pm. I was embarrassed but thankfully the only person that caught on, I *think*, was my old bestie from high school. lol She and I sat in my car and talked and ate food until I sobered up.

I don't consider myself a drinker, either. And, it really doesn't seem to do whatever I think it's going to do when I drink because I'm nervous, anyway. Alcohol's not a good relaxant, imo. I ended up crying more than I think I would have had I not had alcohol before the funeral.

Anyway, Gershun, really glad the lunch went well. I get anxiety before visits with older bro every time I know I'm going to see him. Sometimes it goes well, sometimes it doesn't, but I always feel my insides in a knot when I know I'm going to see him.

Thx Ali.........except now I feel hungover and it's only 5 pm. here. I've got such a headache. Live and learn.

Received a letter from the hotel California asking for a cash donation for a holiday tip pool for the staff

Any thoughts on an appropriate amount?

Flippant reply: given some of the things they've been up to, a voucher for training instead!

Serious reply: consult among other families and see if you can't reach a broad consensus.

Since this is a General Topic and not the behaving badly thread, I must zip my lip, give them zip also.

When mom was in Independent Living, we consulted with the family of a long time resident about what the " usual" was.

Send i think you can unzip just a tiny bit.

Last Christmas I got the staff at moms nh a five-pound box of see's candies. That ran about $80. A little spendy but mom was still somewhat new there and had been acting up a lot. I was hoping to sweeten up some attitudes. Get it? Sweeten. Haha. Sorry - no coffee yet this morning. Must. Have. Caffeine.

MsMadge, biggest caution is that cash donations for staff tips don't always make it to staff. I just brought cookies or fruit basket or candy like Rainmom. Based on the administration at your mom's NH, does the staff include people that never see your mom? like the director? Just sayin.

Ms Madge, cash donation for staff? I have never heard of this. I am sure they could use it but...Whatever gets donated will probably get divided between the good, the bad, and others right? I took cookies, brownies, a cake, etc, to the area that took care of Mom while Mom was there. I took a meal for the staff after Mom passed away in appreciation of their care. You could have pushed them over with a feather. They were in shock and appreciated it soooo much. But a cash donation? I can't get comfortable with that. I guess because I have never heard of it.

I agree with the bringing of cookies or brownies, etc. For all the times I helped out the staff and made things easier for them when Mom was in NHs for rehab, they never gave me a cash donation! I think this is bold and brash for them to ask for cash....kind of like tips on a cruise ship but at least there the staff does the work.

Is that all there is, is that all there is?
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing.
Let's break out the booze and have a ball
If that's all there is...

"Let's keep Dancing if That's All There Is"............
Oh cwillie....The '69 version with Peggy Lee is the best!
Now you have made me think of Frank's"Send in the Clowns"......

Maybe I will keep dancing........soon.

Makes me think of Monty Python - bring out yer dead
..but I'm not dead yet - in fact I feel like dancing

Was in the basement and decided to go to the shelving that I keep extra cleaning items. Some bottles were so dusty I figured they were really outdated. Came across a cleaner for lawn furniture... well I no longer have lawn furniture, it went out in the trash years ago as it fell apart. The Glass Wax can was all rusty. A bottle of laundry softener smelled weird so out it went. The boxes of opened moth balls lost it smell.

It felt good to drag that heavy trash bag up the stairs !!

Some of those cleaners were from my late parent's house back when I was emptying it. And from Dad's Assisted Living. My parents were the type that would add some water to a cleaner to get a half dozen more cleanings from a bottle :) Hey, I do that on liquid detergent for clothes.

Comes The Dawn

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today,
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn...
With every goodbye you learn.

Author: Veronica Shoffstall