General topics.

Phew, wow, oh boy...

Just sighing with relief that another Remembrance Sunday service at the Cenotaph in Whitehall is safely out of the way. May the Queen live forever and everything, but the sight of a ninety year old lady making her way alone to the plinth, carrying a wreath - and they weigh a TON - up two stone steps and then down again BACKWARDS...

Well I'm sure I'm not the only English person holding my breath and gritting my teeth 'til she's safely back in line.

Now I'll never see the Queen the same way CM, oh I know she is getting old but she's far from feeble, and she's younger than my mom (who is of course truly ancient). I wonder if she works out or just trusts it all to good genes and a gin & dubonnet a day?

The Queen seems like a strong old bird. I just thought of a silly skit they did on Monty Python once. It was animated. It was this big soiree and they show the Queen dressed in her finest weaving her way through the throng. She enters the bathroom, the door closes and then all you hear is loud bathroom sounds.........you know the ones...........ahem. I laughed so hard.

Even royalty wipe their own bums............(I think)............I hope so. :P

They didn't do it in the days of Henry VIII, Gershun. They had a "groom of the stool" who took care of that. It was actuallly a coveted position, because it put you in close contact with the king and you could carefully suggest things while in private discussion with him - thereby being a very important position.

It is an established fact that the Queen hasn't got a bottom. Cf the satirical puppet show "Spitting Image" and her conversation on this subject with Prince Edward.

Hey, maybe all the caregivers out there who are cleaning their loved one's bums can just pretend they are back in Henry VIII's day and that will make it alright again.

I'm afraid if I had that job in Henry VIII's day I probably would have lost my head.

Yes, Off with Willie's head! Don't worry Willie I would catch your head and hang on to it for you. Never fear......:)

Uhm, ahh.... thanks?

:)

:) :) :)

I think those of us who have done the caregiver gig long enough would *never* willingly take the "groom of the stool" job again - not for love nor money. We've seen enough "poo" to last a lifetime and wouldn't care what kind of privilege came with the job!

:)
:)
:)
Laughing my a$$ off, now I don't have one either!

How is Rainman today, Rainmom?
I know that can be confusing for him to be sick.

Ahh send, so sweet of you to remember and ask after my baby! It was and continues to be a big sick-apoloosa at my house. Day three Rainman was much better but I got hit with it at 8am and was so bad I had to call hubby to come home from work - something I've only done one other time in 18 years and that was when Rainman was in the ER for his perforated intestine. On top of that, the poor sweet young lady who came to bring me supplies day one got it as well - she sat with Rainman while I cleaned up the bathroom. I tell you - I've been feeling pretty low - it's made me think about how on our own hubby and I are - that we're aging without any family that gives a rats behind and someday we'll be too feeble to take care of Rainman- which I've always known but it sure hit home last Saturday while I was praying to the porcelain god. Yesterday both Rainman and I felt better - he was well enough to go out for the day with his lady caregiver - they took it easy and went to her place for lunch and a Disney movie marathon and I washed bedding and towels all day long. BUT hubby came down with it mid afternoon and last time I checked had 101 temp. I've been feeding him Tylenol every three to four hours - plus checking non stop that he's still breathing. Hubby has two heart conditions that for the time being don't bother him but I know a fever can stress the heart. I have never come across such a contagious bug in all my life! Sooo - sorry for the long answer to your sweet and considerate questions! I really do appreciate you're asking! How are you feeling? I saw you had a rough time a couple days ago.

Kicked the wheelchair (mom wasn't in it, she was in the bathroom causing my meltdown) and put a hole on the wall. %&$#!

Oh no. Now that must have been something bad. Inquiring minds want to know.

Intellectually I know her brain is broken and her body weak, but all I require of her in the A.M. is to stand still while I remove her diaper, then help her to sit on the toilet to wash up. After pulling her to her feet multiple times while trying to remove the item and smearing &%$# on her clothes, the grab bars, the toilet seat, her hands I just can't keep smiling and being pleasant... my hat is off to all of you who can.

Time to start doing the changes in bed, CW? Do you have a slide sheet for rolling her with? If she really can't stand well enough, then it'll save work and heartache in the long run.

I'm sorry, this is awful. I used to think the top of my head would blow off from the strain of not yelling sometimes. And yes sometimes I just yelled ("... you get it from your father...").

Back in the Spring I tried to do the changes in bed, even was considering getting a lift, fortunately we were able to get back into a smooth routine with toileting and transfers. I won't go back to that without a fight, cleanup is just easier and more thorough with the ability to actually wash with copious amounts of water. Hindsight is 20/20, if I had known she was going to live forever I would have worked harder at PT two years ago and insisted we keep it up.

I know what you mean. My mother has nine lives, but I only have one. I wish I had known how many more years. I would have done things differently.

Rainmom, So sorry that bug has visited your house and family. The calling hubs at work to come home is a pretty good record, you must be a very strong trooper.
Hoping you all are better soon!
Thanks for asking about me, cause I am still awfully fine for the shape I'm in.....

Cwillie,
Durn wheelchair! Did not know an inanimate object could be affected by the full moon too.

:)

Well I am having a belated Birthday lunch with sis tomorrow. It was supposed to be three of us but other sis begged off cause other sis can be such a pain.

My question is should I even go? She can be so belittling and cold and self-centred and blah, blah, blah. I have made up my mind that if she starts with the subtle put downs and the superior attitude tomorrow that I am going to finally shut it down. Is it wrong that I am going for lunch with her with a plan already. Will I just jump at the first thing she says that rubs me the wrong way? Should I just cancel? If you were me what would you do? I know I am leaving this question kind of late but if there are any late posters out there, please give me some advice. Thx

Gershun, I've got a sister like that. I.e. one who huffs and puffs and says oh you're so touchy when in fact she's been grossly offensive and expects people not to mind but just to accept the accuracy, as she sees it, of her judgments. Sometimes I do really think one is supposed to be grateful for the wit and wisdom of her 'constructive criticism.'

But actually, as my Texan psychotherapist put it: "Gaad! What a cow!"

Go the lunch. #1 - have a nice lunch :) #2 - keep an open mind. #3 - go prepared with some topics of conversation that *you* have something to say about, so that she's not having to lead all the time. #4 - if she says something that presses a button, repeat it back to her, as close to verbatim as you can manage, and say "is that what you think, really?" If it's fair, maybe she can defend her remark, or maybe if it gets softened and rephrased you'll feel better about it. The key thing, though, is to challenge it: not just to let her bulldoze you into listening to a heap of nasty comments that you don't appreciate or agree with.

Or anyway that's what I'd do if I still wanted to be the sort of person who has lunch with my sister. But you have to bear in mind that I went No Contact with mine in March and I haven't felt the slightest urge to go back on my decision. Our relationship was stressful *at best*, and it was very rarely at its best.

After the lunch, if you haven't had a nice time, don't do it again. If you have, or if it was better than normal, then do do it again. Pleasing ourselves is something women tend to be really bad at - let's work on it!

Sorry. I am not in the class of people who can afford a Texan psychotherapist to myself. I omitted the word "friend", T. p. friend - no therapy, just really supportive advice when I most need it!

Cwillie
I'm glad you didn't break your toe when you kicked the wheelchair -

Thx CM I'll consider your advice. My Hubs made me laugh. He said whatever you do, don't go storming out of the restaurant and run out into traffic and get hit by a car. LOL Oh yeah, I said something about throwing money down on the table and leaving if she pisses me off. He said forget about that, let her pay. LOL

Gershun if she invited you and is going to pay. Just go and enjoy the food if she says something like "You never listen to me" Reply with something like "I absolutely agree, but I do have friends who value my input"