General topics.

Since early this morning, the news had set me off to a bad mood. I did not like the news today. There was sad, strange, scary, and tragic. All in my area.
Nothing to do about it, and it would have been better for me to not read it.

So, I am not going to think about it anymore.

We have some Aussie Bites from costco, I had two (mostly oats with raisins and apricots) with a rare afternoon serving of coffee. And a great salad today.

Anybody out there having a better day? I would be glad to hear it.

Send,

Indeed, the news is very depressing. You’re right. We have to take a break from it and occupy our minds with something else for a while.

Send the news can put my hubs in a bad mood ,, I try to avoid it on TV and just read it in the evening on my laptop! Then I can stop when it gets too much! The world is a scarey place these days. Probably always was but now the news just ramps it up so much.

Pam,

You are doing the right thing . Many years ago I read that it’s better to read the news instead of watching it including videos and live on the scenes “ bad stuff”.

Appointments had me out and about the last two days, in beautiful weather.
My dH and I enjoyed lunch out. Such a good meal made it so we were hardly hungry when dinner time came.

I've been grieving for my mother who passed 8 months ago at 100 years and feeling like I lost my grasp on who I was. I realized today that my problem is that my mother was my safety net for all of my feelings. By that, I mean that no matter what I felt, my mother was the one that validated those feelings. I'm guessing this is what people mean when they say they have lost their anchor. I anticipated this a little while she was still alive but I had no idea what it would really feel like after her death. Does this ring true for anyone else?

Mintmint, what you described rings so true for me. My mom died 8 yrs. ago and I still have these moments of indescribable grief.

I went for coffee with my S I L yesterday and she said "You look so much like your mom it's uncanny" Just talking about my mom with someone who knew her brought all my emotions so close to the surface that I started bawling.

My mom validated me too. It wasn't until I just read what you wrote that I realized it. My family isn't close. Going for coffee with someone like I used to do with my mom really made me realize how I haven't filled that empty place in my heart where her love used to reside.

I feel very sad today.

I know what you mean Mintmint. Both my parents were like that, I was really close to dad too. In fact he probably validated my feelings even more than my mom, but both did. Nothing like the unconditional love of a parent. Some didn't have that and my heart hurts for them. Some have good supportive spouses and others don't. Try to not lose your grasp on who you are as a person though. Let your mom live on through you. I know you're grieving and this will take time. It's hard. All my best wishes to you.

Gershun,
Do you think that your Sil minded that you cried?
She probably feels closer to you that you trusted her enough to be yourself around her.
What do you think?

Gershun,

I have those moments too. It’s normal for memories to come to the surface occasionally.

Your mom would understand how you are feeling but she would also want you to celebrate her life and feel joy.

You had an incredible bond with your mother. That bond will never die. Just because someone is no longer here with us doesn’t mean that we don’t feel their presence in our lives.

I don’t think we can ever forget about people who we loved so deeply.

The holidays can be a difficult time for people who miss their loved ones.

Sending tons of hugs your way!

Mint,

I can relate to what you’re saying. There have been many times when I miss someone so deeply that I long to be with them again.

Naturally, we will always remember the people who brought meaning and purpose in our lives.

You are grieving and experiencing normal feelings during this time. I’m so very sorry for your loss.

I’m grieving the loss of my older brother who died recently. It’s hard to lose people that we love so much.

I loved my parents dearly. I was also close to my mother in law who was a lifeline for me at times. We can feel lost without them.

Even though they no longer share our physical world with us, they left us with so many precious memories for us to cherish.

Sometimes I get very sad when I am reminiscing and other times I smile because I am filled with joy that I had them in my life.

Take comfort in knowing that you were deeply loved by your mom. Wishing you peace during this holiday season.

This is a reminder that ‘missing people’ can be based on very selective memories. I find that I am ‘missing’ my first husband, who died a few years ago. There is no-one left in my world who shares the memories of what we did together when we were both young. We got on better in his last days, and a few more pleasant conversations would be really nice.

But there are many memories of him that aren’t so good, and I have no regrets that we parted. Even fewer that I am now married to Tony.

So enjoy the happy memories, but don’t let them trick you into being miserable that they are gone!

Margaret,

I love your words on this topic. I feel very much the same way. It’s called, ‘living in the moment.’ Thanks for this reminder.

People can get caught up in their emotions and tend to live in the past far more than they should.

It’s fine to visit the past occasionally. We shouldn’t become stuck in the past. Like you, I do think we should have a realistic view of the past instead of glamorizing it.

At some point we must learn to enjoy the present. That is what our loved ones who are gone now would want for us.

Right now is a gift, that's why it is called the present.

Remembering this can help us stay in the present, hopefully, with Thanksgiving and gratitude.

Send, my SIL is a very kind person. I controlled my tears pretty quickly. I almost felt like she wanted me to cry more. In fact, (and this is my paranoid self talking) I kind of thought after, that she deliberately brought my mom up to test the waters on how I've been feeling. Everyone in my fam knows how close mom and I were and since I haven't seen any of them since before covid no one really knows how I've been doing without mom.

Maybe my brother (her husband) put her up to asking me for coffee cause the invite kind of came out of the blue. Like I said, I don't trust my family. Although my SIL is a sweet, kind person so even if this were the case I'm not mad about it.

I just stepped in a pile of 💩 over on Reddit by calling out a bunch of bigoted sounding comments, now I'm kinda afraid to go back.

cwillie, from what I understand of Reddit (never went there) aren't these questionable folk somewhat the norm?
Do you have Forums there that you enjoy that are normally "normal", or on the better side of normal like ALL of us at AC?
Anyway, I trust you! You can handle these folks with one hand tied behind your back!

I was on Reddit when I was looking for info on dual citizenship. It is not a reliable source for information. Even there on that forum there were weirdos.

I'm mostly on the cooking and gardening subreddits, but I like to browse the news and a few others just to check out what people outside my normal bubble are saying. Some places are definitely toxic and I'm not tempted to even peek at those.
Reddit used to be the hip place for teens and slightly older, now a lot of those same people are in their 30's so I find stuff they say a little more relatable. It can be fun to scroll through the hot posts of the day.

Ha, I just spent some time searching that subreddit and the whole thread has been deleted so I have nothing to fear. Yay for good moderators!

Like Alva’s comment, on better side of normal like all of us on AC. Ha, ha,
Seriously, everybody is helpful, even constructive criticism is helpful, only few people could not tolerate it.

Just popping by to wish everyone a safe, healthy and happy Christmas!

Gershun: Your avatar is beautiful.

Ho Ho Ho. Happy Christmas everyone 🎄🎅🏻

Merry Christmas to all!

Merry Christmas 🎄🎁!

May today be a new beginning for everyone here. May the coming year be filled with mercy, grace and love for us ALL.

Merry Christmas to all the AC family!

Merry Christmas to all. I really appreciate all the support I’ve received. It’s helped me immensely. Thank you.

Buon Natale! May you have a physically, emotionally and spiritually peace-filled holiday!

Christmas blessings to you and yours!