What is the funniest thing your aging parent has said to you lately?

After my Mom was assessed by a health professional this week I asked her why she answered the way she did(most of her answers were wrong) , she said she was just teasing him!

My 93 year old Mama is in very good physical health and mostly good mental health. Daddy comes often (he has been dead since 1998) and one time she said, "I just don't know where he goes when he leaves". I responded "heaven" to which she retorted, "Well I'm not going to get to go anywhere because he is going to use up all the frequent flyer miles!"

My granddaughter lives with us too and every morning comes out showered and dressed for work. This morning mom wanted a shower before breakfast (a first). I helped her and while we were talking I asked her why she wanted the shower so early? She said "I have to go to work!"

one sunday my sister in law forgot to remove our 91 year old mil's bra when she got her into her pj after church. I didn't notice until helping her into bed that night and since she was so sleepy and had said nothing about it, I decided to let it go. A little while later I heard sounds from the bedroom and went to see what was up. Mil was sitting on the side of the bed with her pants pulled down to her knees. I asked did she need to go to the bathroom ? She said no, she was trying to get her......(i figured out- bra off) She said it is (searching for the word -uncomfortable) inhuman !

ElderlyandADHD, my MIL was a horrible person her entire life. Oddly, the vascular dementia had turned her into a sweet thing. She is just helpless these days. There was a background of truth to this recent bad feeling of hers.

I am so glad that some of you have a great relationship with your mother or dad. I am glad you are doing the bonding I wish I was and she was capable of. I dont have that..if you have it treasure it every day! I dont have it with my kids either. I dont have anything, and I was the one who was always there. Always working behind the scenes to make everything perfect for everybody. Now I am 54 and I have nothing..nothing..I hope it gets better from here..happy holidays to all of you!

My MIL suddenly burst into tears at a recent visit saying she felt terrible. I knelt in front of her wheelchair and took her hands and asked her - "where do you hurt? Where is the pain?" She looked in my eyes and said "I just feel so bad for you ....having to take care of me!"

I had to laugh, she was so sincere, all I could say was "well sweetie you have me there." And we both laughed.

My mother who has Alzheimer's and is now living with us said to me, "I wouldn't have any problem remembering who you are if you would just quite changing your name!"

When Mom was alive 3 weeks ago she called me on the phone and tried to leave me a message. She said on the message, "leave a beep after the phone? What phone? I no hear no phone." I heard in the background all the nurses and CNAs laugh out loud and they said, " at the beep, leave a message after the beep." Then Mom hung up. I saved the message for myself so that I can hear her voice. I've saved many messages from her on my iphone for me only.

My dad also had trouble with names of people, of medications, of just about anything. He was going to have a procedure in the urologist's office so he would pee better. They had given him a valium to take before he got there to help him relax during the procedure. As we are sitting in the waiting room, waiting for them to take him in, he says " I don't think that Viagra is working yet." I said I hope it wasn't Viagra you took this morning or the doctor is going to have a really difficult time today. We both laughed at that thought.

My dad passed in October 2011. Even before he started to show signs of dementia, he would say the funniest things. It was Christmas and I took him to see the Nutcracker, thinking it would be a festive thing to do. About halfway through, he turns to me, mind you without lowering his voice, "Boy they don't do much talking in this, do they?" One of my favorite Christmas memories of him.

All of these posts are so funny..................I am needing these laughs.

Hi my first post. Always good to laugh so I'll start here. On an extended family vacation to the beach last summer my Mom , who suffers from a brain stem stroke and possible Alzheimer's watched as my husband tried to get a fish off a hook to toss back in. I guess she thought he was taking too long because she leaned from her chair and said " Bill, hurry, he's gasping!" she has such a hard time talking but she got that out! He got it off in time * phew

I had a very stressful day- got called yesterday from hospital that there was a suspicious spot on my mammogram last week and I needed to come in today to have checked out. Turns out to be nothing (yay), but it was very stressful. I am having surgery next week for something else, so I am busy at work and home getting ready for that. Most of my Christmas shopping has to be done by this weekend. Needless to say, I am very stressed. So, I get home tonight, and MIL asked me if I took her underwear. I really had to keep from laughing. Yes, I stole your panties. Good grief.

I woke up to several voice mails from my 95 year old aunt that suffers from dementia...she said "I didn't know that was your husband that was here!!" "Nothing happened, don't worry" :)

My mother is the pickiest eater..I made a delicious pasta dinner..and she made a face like the yuck face on the poison jar and said "Didnt you know, pasta is for poor people!"...like shes a millionaire or something...

lynda1 All these tests do sound scary and at the basis, does someone just announce after the tests are done, you have changed and not yourself anymore. Where do you go from there? My mom always just tells them "You're nuts not me!"

Last night my father was fretting about the diagnosis of vascular dementia we received earlier in the day..(Yeah! We now have a label for this craziness that has been displayed for over a year.. maybe we can get some help?)

The diagnosis wasn't what he was most concerned about...
His big fear was about a carotid artery ultrasound test he has to take next week.

He wanted to know, if they were going to make him wear a tin foil hat & hook up wires to his head, & accused me of conspiring with the Dr.s to put him in, His words.. "The Loony Bin"

His recent cognitive test results said there is no evidence of delusional thinking or thought disorder.

Mom and I went out to eat last Saturday, we were having a good time, laughing, talking away. Then she picks up a shrimp off her plate and slurps the thing down and says...."I slurped that sucker down". I really had a good laugh, not sure about the others' in the restaurant, but I sure had a good hardy-har-har!

My mother is, or used to be very prim and proper, very ladylike. She now has bouts of anger. One day she was talking very bad about my sister, and i said, "Mom, I love my sister, I wont listen to this". To this she replied, "I know you love your sister, your head is so far up her but you can smell her s***!" I have hardly ever heard my mom use this word, so funny.

Last week mom escaped and headed down the high way. The police picked her up, took her out for a slurpee and then waited at a busy intersection for me to search for her. It worked. We asked around and then saw he officer. Told him we had lost our granny. He asked for my Identification and then proceeded to the car door and let mom out of the patrol car. We got her in the car and was looking to see how much worse for the wear she was. As soon as the police man shut the door and was out of hearing she exclaimed !! That was fun!!!

My mother is in assisted living and they gave her an alert button to wear around her neck if she needed anything. The other day, she was saying that she had never been in a hospital before that didn't have a call button in the room if you needed help. I said "They gave you a medical alert necklace to wear around your neck. Where is it?" She replied..."It's in my pocketbook. Do you want to borrow it?"

My sister took my mom food shopping the other day my mom told her she needed to get canned tuna and canned chicken. Mom picks up store brand tuna then is looking for the canned chicken. She says here it is and shows my sister a can of " Chicken of the sea tuna"

My 84 yr old Mom is in the Nursing Home and she follows the nurses around when they give out meds, because she does not sleep much. Last week on the night shift she went in with the nurse an d she told the nurse she wanted to "taste" one of the men as he lay sleeping. The nurse cracked up. The man favors her last husband and I think she meant "kiss". The next morning when the next nurse went on rounds and Mom went with her, she asked Mom if this was the man she wanted to "taste", Mom said "yes". We were all laughing.

Thank you Lindams for asking this question. It sure brightens my day and to know that other men and women have laughed and shared great and funny moments with parents as I have. Mom has dementia and is in hospice, has gotten way better physically but the dementia is worse. But she keeps me in stitches ALL of the time even though I am in pain emotionally. The other day I told her that she just forgot that I came yesterday [wrong thing to say of course!!] But then she told me that I am the one who forgets everything, I am the one losing it, I am the one who is always wrong and to stop acting that way. She told me in a totally very matter of fact way that made me laugh so hard that I had tears in my eyes and I started to cough, but her face was deadly serious; which made it even funnier.

My sweet mom passed recently and we started going through her things. We had given her a cell phone... which she NEVER EVER used. I would try to reach her when the power went out, but she never picked up the phone. One time I was so worried I drove 1.5 hours to check on her. I came into her home, used the light from my cell phone in the dark and I was sure I would find her dead in her bed. I walked cautiously though her house and found her in her bed all cuddled up. I touched her on the shoulder and she sat up! I asked her why she didn't answer her cell phone and told her that she scared me half to death with worry. She said, honey the power went out. What else do you do when the power goes out? Of course you take a nap!

Then after she passed I took her cell phone and listened to all the messages. There really wasn't anything, except that over the course of a year and a half, her 90 year old little sister had left 13 messages on the phone, yelling into the phone... as if when she spoke louder, mom would be able to hear her, telling mom to PICK UP THE PHONE! Finally, one of the last messages she said she would send her husband, who used to work for the phone company but is now dead, the 5 hour trip to my mom's to teach her how to use the phone. By the time we heard the last message of mom's little sister yelling PICK UP THE PHONE we were in tears, laughing so hard. They were great sisters. They talked to each other at least twice a day, even though they lived 5 hours apart. Now I try to call mom's little sister every now and then, just to give her a boost ...

Thank you so much for making me laugh again with this wonderful topic! I love it. After being sad at the loss of my mom, you are helping me remember the good times and cherish them even more.

My very proper, very sweet mom, 92 yrs old, who passed recently was eating like a super model during her last years, while we were trying to lose weight. She said she just wasn't hungry. We did everything we could to find food she would like and would eat. One of her last meals was a large shell steak with a big baked potato and sour cream. She dug into the potato and the steak, cut it all into pieces, ate it all. Then she picked up the bone and ate it until it was clean. We were giggling that she was eating so well. Then she turned to us, looked at our plates and asked if we were finished with our bones and laughed. Yum, yum... she really liked it!

My mother always said she wanted a hobby, but I pointed out to her that she was the project manager of her house projects. She was intent on redecorating the living room. We took her to look at couches, furniture and fabrics. She tested out three different decorators, and no matter how many times she went out looking she could not make a decision as to what she wanted. She went so far as to order things then cancel the order. For a while she stopped and then she mentioned she wanted to redecorate the living room again. My sweetheart said, welcome to reality series redecorating the living room season six. She laughed so hard when she realized what she had been doing... Every time any of us revisited a decision that we had trouble making we would say, 'welcome to season..." and laugh it off.

I would of told her to take it back to the store and get one with a bigger bulb. The one she had will catch fire. They just cannot remember directions anymore. You pretty much have to do it for them.

When my mil first began having issues, she called one evening with a question. She had bought a very small, decorative lamp with a fancy fabric shade and was trying to get it to work. She complained to me that when she tried to read, the fabric lampshade would get very hot and actually started smoking at one point with the 60W bulb she had put into the lamp! I immediately told her to put the small bulb back in and she did. Then she called back to say that she couldn't read with that little tiny lightbulb in there and had put a bigger one it and the shade had actually caught fire. Again, I told her to only use the smaller bulb and she agreed, even though there wouldn't be enough light for her to read by. You guessed it - in a few minutes, the phone rang yet again.....