What is the funniest thing your aging parent has said to you lately?

oh, and in a similar vein... the staff told me that mom got lots and lots of exercise yesterday. "She was happily walking the halls most of the afternoon." Turns out, she was lost and couldn't find her room, but didn't tell anyone! She just walked and smiled at passersby.

I love this question. My mom is very funny. I have shared some in the past. I'll try. To remember some more.
On thing she says in the morning when I get her up is "cock-a-doodle do", any ole cock will do ! Then we both crack up. That was a saying when she was younger. She is and has always been very ornery. It has passed clear down to her great granddaughter

While driving mom back to the NH after taking her to her sil's funeral, mom says, "Birds have the keys to the car". I'm like, what? She said, "Birds....they have keys". THEN, she said, "They didn't shoot us hard enough". I say, "what...somebody SHOT US???" She started laughing. If you don't laugh, it's just not much fun.

While watching the movie Ever After with Drew Barrymore as Cinderella. Cinderella came out in a beautiful gown with wings... looked like and angel as the prince was admiring her entrance, in the spotlight... Mom say's "That's supposed to be me!!" I am so glad Mom thinks she is young and beautiful!!!!

I love the memories of this stuff now....when I was Mom's main caregiver it wasn't so funny, too stressed to laff then! OH I got a bunch of stories like video's in my head ....now and forever. I'd love to share, it's seems that, other caregivers of dementia sufferers only see the humor.
I have to share a story about a friends Mom.... My friend caring for her Mom, was OK, alone for short time periods. My F walked into the house as her Mom was shouting "get out of here, you better get out before I'll call the cops." Her Mom was standing only inches away from a painting (that her son actually painted). It was hanging on the wall at the end of a hallway. It was of a girl standing in the distance in a field alone. She was banging and slamming her walker on the floor, mad at the girl, as she was begging her to go away. To her Mom I guess it looked like she was in another room in the house.
LindaMS helpful hint: my Mom does the same thing but she recognizes her room by her name on the door. I had them label her closets and drawers too.

I have a couple funny stories but they are not recent as they are from my dear daddy who passed in 2003 from Alzheimer's. 1) One evening my parents are watching TV when my dad look over at my mother and said, "Are you ever going to go home, you've been here all day?" 2) It was during Christmas season and my mother and me took my dad to several Christmas Concerts and plays. This one particular concert was a a classical music concert. A woman sang a solo (she was the soprano), after a few more songs the soprano started to sing a solo again and my dad said "Oh no, not again!" This does go over well at a classical concert, people gave us such dirty looks, but I laughed so hard I cried.

My step dad who has passed many years ago. We were at my adult daughters baptism(joint the catholic church) it was a 3 hour affair. Burning of letters to God, dthe pouring of holy water in baptismal. Then a long mass. Step dad was in wheel chair with his head hung down ( mind sharp as a tack) bored.
The priest comes behind everyone with big palm leaves dipped in holy water and sprinkled everyone in the church from behind. Step dsds bald head gets wet he shouts out loudly "it's raining in here"! My brother (may he rip) and I cracked up. It was like in school, we could not even lookat each other. The people arounD us were cracking up too. It might be a "you had to be there moment".

Tonite getting mom ready for bed I told her I loved her, she said "I've loved you longer". I said " I loved you when I was in your tummy". She said " I loved you when you were still in your Dad, and you can't go back any further".

This one is my favorite.... Keep in mind my Mom was well know for wandering at this point and the police knew her Well especially the handsome Sargent ...that's what Mom called him. I was trying to get her to get in my car after she got out of the house, via the window, she usually took to the road walking but this day she knew I couldn't follow her if she walked in the woods. She grabbed a branch and was threatening to call the cops if I came closer. Well without a thought I screamed someone call the police... A woman came out on her deck and said really??? I said "just tell them It's "Helen"". The woman must have thought I was nuts but she called and the "HANDSOME SARGENT" came. My Mother forgot all about me and walked up to the police suv and say's. "OH HELLO OFFICER WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME TONIGHT?" Thank the Lord he knew how to handle her!!

My mother-in-law's memory is declining. She didn't remember eating all her cookies, so when she wanted one and found the box empty, she told my husband that someone broke into her house and ate her cookies. There was no way to convince her otherwise.

I am actually writing a "blog" on facebook about this entitled "Why I Drink..." I am up to Chapter 18 and my friends say, "Keep 'em coming!!!" For example, while visiting my home I called to my dad in the other room...Me: Dad, your show is on...Meet the Press. Mom: Who's depressed? Me: I am begging you...GET A HEARING AID!!!

I'm the youngest and only girl of three and its a well know family joke that I can't cook well. After taking care of mom at home for over 2 years we had to move her to an ALF for memory care. One thing she loves there is the food. One of her table mates was complaining aobut thefood one night and mom looked him straight in the eye and said "how'd you like to go live with my daughter who can't cook worth a sh*t." When a aide relayed that to my brother and I, we cracked up.

My mother had fallen in her home and I was there helping her...the doctor told me to get her to her bed and see if she was just shaken, before I went through the trouble of the hospital etc. Well the next morning it was obvious that she was not going to shake off the pain (later we found that she had fractured her pelvis). I called the rescue and 4 handsome emt's came to get my mom out of her bed and on to the stretcher. She was in a lot of pain, but she looked around and smiled and said, "I have never had this many men in my bedroom in my life!"

I took my Mom to the beauty salon one day and she was in the chair with the hairdresser. She has very poor vision. I was sitting about 5 ft away from them and they were talking about my nephew. I added a pertinent comment to the conversation and my Mom looked at me and said " Do I know you?" (She has known me for my 65 years.) I said "Mom, it's Rose, your daughter." And we all laughted so hard and talked about it all day. She does not have dementia, she said my voice was different and she didn't recognize me because I looked so small. I had lost a lot of weight and my voice was very throaty.

I laughed through most of these and could have one to match each, or almost. I will share one. Its 80 degrees in the house, it's summer time and my husband is cold. He tells me that he is going to turn the temp up. I agree because right now I can't go and see about it myself. Suddenly I realize it's getting very hot in here. I go to check and he had turned the heat on. But denied doing it. It may not seem funny to you but I just had to laugh, What if he had set the house on fire?

My mother in law lived with us for 6 VERY HARD years. She and I (son in law) were constantly at each other. We finally got her into a nice dementia unit. When my wife and I went to the first visit with the nurses, we introduced ourselves. When I introduced myself (Bob) the whole place started laughing because they could not figure out what mother in law meant when she did something wrong and said "Bob did it". To this day she still blames me for everything !

Great question and how wonderful to have a subject that focuses on the lighthearted side of things, which we all need.
There are many! One of the most recent - We arrived at the nursing home just after a volunteer musician left who playing the piano. I asked my mother if the music was good. She said "It was nice! There was a horse with a piano on top if it." I said "really? Was the musician also on the horse?" She said "Of course, he was playing the piano."

I asked "Are you sure this is what you saw Mom? It's such a strange thing to see."
She had a questioning look on her face and said "I think so. That's what I remember." And we both started laughing, like old times.
My mother and I always laughed together. That's what I miss the most.

I'm using this story for a new painting!

This is an interesting thread. About a year and a half ago, I became fulltime caregiver to my 92 year old MIL with dementia. During that time, she has said and done many memorable things and I have been journaling most of them. Some have been sweet, some funny, some mean and some sad, but I've tried to keep track of them all. Early on in this arrangement, when she could still be allowed to go outside in the backyard safely by herself, I found her sitting on the stoop outside the back door with her shoes off, trying to fit her feet into the her son's bronzed baby shoes. And this was in the days when her cognitive impairment wasn't all that severe yet. This was funny, but sad. Needless to say, these were the next items to be put away out of sight on a closet shelf. This Alzheimer's thing will never cease to perplex me.

My mother-in-law finally had to have her last front tooth removed because it had gotten too loose. The dentist was going to fit her with a new partial plate to add both front teeth now, so he had to remove the old one for a week while it was being made. She has dementia and has NO short term memory anymore. On the way out of the dentist office, we're walking down the hall side by side. She turns to me and asks 'where's my front teeth? do you have them? they seem to be missing' It was so funny.

I was picking up my sisters to have lunch with my mom at her ALF and brought mom along for the ride to give her a change of scenery. She sat in the front seat looking outside and asked me, "Now is this real or is this part of the movie?"

My 88 year old mom has problems with anything that has buttons. So she calls me and asks me how to change channels on the TV. I explain that she needs to hit 2 3 3 on the remote and it will go to her favorite channel, the Game Show Network. The next thing I hear is the buttons on the phone being pushed and then, of course, her telling me that the remote "is just not working"!

A friend of mine worked in an AZ facility. One day one of the patients walked out of her room with a sanitary napkin on the bottom of each foot......gotta laugh at the ingenuity!

Bob, I love this... Altho my Mom loves my husband, Bill, she always thought her family walked on water. My hubby took in my Mom for 3 years and he really tried to keep quiet and put up with Alzheimers,but it took it's toll on him. He is struggling with PTSD from Viet Nam too.
My Mom always had funny things to say and still does. She keeps the nurses in stitches at the nursing home.

My mother is in NH with dementia. She's preoccupied with weight and thinks everybody is fat or has a big a**. The other day she told me I looked like I had lost weight, but when I was leaving she told me I had to work on my a**.

Mother lying on her death bed,She looked up and smile at me as she drifted in and out of her consciousness, aware it was only a matter of time!! her faqce turn toward mine and she held my hand she say's Theresa where are WE going when WE leave here!!!!!!Well I let her hand go and I said mommy I ain't ready to go yet I have'nt applied my make yet,!!!!!!!! but I'm sure God is going to take you home with him,,,

I was telling my mother the other day about sacada killer bees. Her hearing is going. I was telling her how these bees kill sacadas. I said have you ever seen a sacada up close? She said, " Have I ever seen a potato up close?".

Mom was lying on the couch when I returned home, a caregiver sitting by her side. The caregiver reported that my 97-year old Mother, severely afflicted with Parkinson's Disease, had been talking and smiling all afternoon. I started asking Mom what she would like for supper, if she was longing for anything special, could she think of anything that would taste good, etc. She didn't look at me, didn't blink an eye, didn't answer. I kept trying and she gave no indication that she even knew I was there. Finally, in desperation, I spoke very loudly and said, "Mom, can you HEAR me?" Calmly and clearly, she answered, "No". The caregiver and I started laughing.

Visited my mom at her dementia AFH. It was a short visit as it was close to dinner. I said goodbye when it was time for her to go to the table to eat. She had seemed a little upset but wasn't saying what was wrong, so I said I would call her before the evening was out. When I called she shared with me the following about her day yesteday, telling me what was up. Mom says "I was going to take a plane today but no one would let me board because I didn't have any money. I got to the airport and checked through and everything but when everyone else was boarding, I got turned away because I didn't have the money to get on". Well at the time, I told her well I am glad you didn't go because I would have missed yo earlier when I cam to see you and I would have really missed you again when I come back tomorrow. Well, she said she would have missed me too and I talked to her another couple minutes and said goodnight. After i got off the phone I just laughed and laughed thinking of what that would have looked like if it had really all happened. Sometimes you just have to laugh....

Me: Mom, wanna go to the movie?
Mom: What's is about?
Me: A talking cat.
Mom: Take the cat.

One of the ladies in my Mom's home has a roommate....but she does not like room mates...so , she proceeds to pack up all the woman's belongings-in a suitcase and boxes, than tells the lady "It was lovely to have you visit, BUT, you have overstayed your welcome." She walks the lady to the front desk and tells her 'The bus will be here to pick you up, just wait here"....(the office just laughs and gently tells the lady that it is her roommate and she needs to stay in her room)
Response: "Oh no, I do not have any roommates and do not want them, I have way too many visitors and the visitors might get annoyed."
She just packed another 'visitor' up and shuffled her to the front waiting area.