What is the funniest thing your aging parent has said to you lately?

It's not a funny thing he said... it's a funny thing he did...

I've been giving my dad nutritional supplement drinks and they come in little juice-box-style paper cartons. I also give him a bit of 100% cranberry juice every day to try to ward off bladder infections since he has a catheter. I give him the juice in a small but heavyweight plastic sippy cup with a built in straw. I noticed one cup was missing from the set of four and found out my dad had thrown the plastic cup away. He thought it was the same as a throwaway paper juice carton! I just have to shake my head and laugh. I have no idea how his brain comes up with the things it does. :-)

When my father and mother lived by themselves, there seemed to be a pain pill problem. My mother was prescribed them, but my dad commonly stole them. He would slip them in his pocket where my mother would once in a while find them when checking his pockets before laundering. My mother talked about the problem, and we really did not identify a good resolution other than finding better hiding places for the drugs. One day about a week later, my mother said she had solved the problem. So, I asked her "How?" She said, "I cut holes in your fathers pockets, and I just pick up the pills as they fall out.

Too funny! Love it makes my day!

Mom and I were shopping for sweatshirts at a discount store. I turned around for a single moment and she suddenly had a huge, white, bulky pair of white socks in the basket. I asked her why she was buying them. She told me they were only sixty cents and that they were "a lot of sock for the money."

Anyway, for sixty cents, if it made her happy, fine. Maybe she can wear them over her regular socks as slippers or possibly give them to my husband for Christmas, although, I don't think even his feet are big-enough for these things. :-)

That is hilarious, Donna! - I just hope the nurse thought so too? :)

My mother is 80 and lives with my husband and I. When she gets nervous, which she seems do to regularly, she has to talk. And her hearing is bad too, so she talks loudly. Her comments are totally inappropriate most times. During a recent hospital stay, she had the nurse get her a bedpan because she could not get up. The nurse said that sometimes, it's hard staying on the pan if you don't have much bum, which that describes my mother's. So, my mother acknowledged what she said, and as the nurse tried to balance her on the pan, she reached back for something whereby my mother viewed her bum. She stated "I can see where you would probably have no problem balancing on one of these. You've got the bum for it."

I came home around 6:00pm and decided to eat my dinner in the livingroom. Dad usually has his dinner at 5:30. As I was eating, he asked me, "Did I eat dinner?"

I replied, "Yes." ... silence. Then I asked, "Why? Are you hungry?"

"No. I just wanted to know if I ate already. I don't remember."

I have a friend who comes a few times a week and doesn't 'see' my mother's dementia. So today, while he was sitting there, I was giving her some soup. I put some crackers in and she tells me she doesn't want the crackers. Now, I KNOW she wants these crackers, so I keep putting them in and he pipes up with, If she doesn't want crackers, don't give her crackers'.

Well, I asked her, "Why don't you want the crackers?'

She says: 'Because I like them.'

Ha, ha, the look on his face was priceless, to which I said, I told ya so.

Then, of course, comes the stuffing her face with too much soup, the coughing, then the sneezing, then the tissues come out of the tissue holder. The whole nine yards. If it wasn't so sad, it would be funny.

And her is the best part....I was telling caregiver today about it and I said "when I took mom to the VET yesterday! OH I needed that one this week, I laffed so hard!

Mom has been so darn cute, really alor more vocal and animated I nearly cried at dr right there in waiting room, I rested my head on her shoulder for a minute and she said in her loud way for all to here (instead of "hey that lady is fffaattt' as posted prior) she sez "awe this is nice, your my honeybunch, your my daughter" you have no idea how huge it was to hear her use another word than baby girl...it never happens, she reached for something

Oh my gosh...Mom just set me off into gales of laughter here. This is a little off-color, so if you are easily offended, just skip it.

Mom was watching TV and a commercial came on for a new show coming on soon, and 3 women were in a locker room at a gym - one was middle-aged and the other two were in their early 20's. All had just gotten out of the shower and were in towels. The older woman takes off her towel to get dressed, and the younger women both gasp, and say, "Oh my God, don't you wax?!?", then one of them looks at the other and kind of whispers...."It looks like my MOTHER'S!"

Mom and I were laughing at that when Mom said, "I think mine's gone BALD!"

I thought I'd fall off my darn chair....."out of the mouths of babes" has NOTHING on the things that come out of the mouth of an elderly parent!!

Up in Lake Tahoe it's getting cold as the first winter storm blows in. I had a few bad moments where I thought I had an extreme fever. Turns out my mother had turned the heater up to 90+! The adventure continues...

While having lunch with my mother at a local hospital, I said, "This is the hospital I was born in." My mother said, "It is?" Drawing near her and looking at her expectantly, I said, "Yes, you were there." She thought only slightly before saying, "You must be really old."

My Mom was recently telling me about the brother of one of her friends. He was about 85 and passed away from pulmonary fibrosis. She said he got so bad at the end that he had to be placed on a vibrator! She was also in rehab for a fractured hip over the summer. Her room was a little bit cold, so she asked me for a sweater without sleeves. I sure wish she had a translating dictionary.

After finishing putting on her makeup and me doing her hair, she always says, "Now can you tell me to get lost so I can have my milkshake!"

95 yo mil eats her bananna then carefully puts the peeling on top of her foot...then carefully puts her napkin on the other one...i wonder what was going through her mind? i just laughed and took a picture

95 yo mil eats her bananna then carefully puts the peeling on top of her foot...then carefully puts her napkin on the other one...i wonder what was going through her mind? i just laughed and took a picture

95 yo mil managed to get both shoes on the same foot... not easy to do!

I have to say the craziest thing my dad has said recently is "I need you to stay nearby and help me full time for a while. Tell your boss you need a couple of months off" I explained that I just started my job a couple months ago. He said"Ok,I will pay you your salary. then tell them that you cannot work their schedule." I told him I needed the health insurance also, explained about COBRA time limits, and how difficult iif not impossible it would be for me to get health insurance on my own with my health problems. "Then I will pay your medical bills" I explained that just ONE illness could wipe out everything. Dad: "Thats ok" I changed the subject.

Both funny and mortifying.....and funny only in the fact that she has no clue, in her condition, not funny at the subject matter, that is the mortifying part.
We are in the Dr's Office waiting room and a very heavy woman takes her place, struggling with her size and mom blurts out loud as can be "Hey look at that lady, she is very fat" OMG I turned 18 shades of red, wanted to just teleport outta that office immediately!!!

I'm in a department store shoe section with my mom. She asks the clerk for her size, a 7N. The clerk comes out and says (very politely) that she is sorry but she doesn't have that size in that particular shoe. My mom vehemently responds with, "So are you telling me they only make this shoe for people with big feet?" Ok, the reason it is funny is because I wear an 8.5 or 9 and she would always say my feet were just the right size and that those sizes are very popular, which they are. This is just my mother, aghast that someone can't meet her need. Geesh.

ooohhh! That's really sad, Tlynne!

That "she" was my gram with dementia. :)

Talking about a lady in our town who walks every day up and down the main road, she says, "She must be a hooker with no business."

my mil talking to her sister [93 and 95] hung up the phone and said ...she is really mixed up. the blind leading the blind, lol

My mother with alzheimers looks at me and says "what am I going to do with you ! Your getting very absent minded .

My mother with alzheimers looks at me and says "what am I going to do with you ! Your getting very absent minded .

my mil asked my husband ...what time do u get on the school bus...he is 52

This is something my Dad [93] said a few months back. I decided to use an on-line grocery service that was associated with our favorite grocery store... you order groceries on-line, pay on-line, and the next day the store has all the groceries packed in bags for you to pick up.

My Dad was interested in how that all worked, so I had him come along with me when I went to *pick-up* my parents' groceries. It was so simple, I pulled in front of the store, the attendant came out, unlocked the refrigerated/freezer bins in front of the store, and put the groceries in the trunk. This took maybe 5 minutes.

Dad said "this is the first time I was grocery shopping and didn't need to unbuckle my seatbelt" :)

Despite having what might be the world's largest collection of handkerchiefs, all clean and nicely-ironed, my mother loves to stuff kleenex up her sleeves and in her pockets. Every laundry day, despite reminding her to take them out and looking around for the ones she missed, I still end up with kleenex all over the dryer. I tease her that she's so frugal that she's the only person who reuses her kleenex, this way.