What is the funniest thing your aging parent has said to you lately?

Father has reached the point in his road to senility that most of the times he does not understand what he's watching on TV. For example, I was watching a video of a baby elephant climbing on top of the mother elephant (lying on the ground) and then the baby would flip over to the other side. Father was laughing so hard. Then suddenly stopped laughing, looked puzzled and asked me, "Those are monkeys, right?"

So, tonight, I'm watching the show "Sex sent me to the ER." I'm laughing hard throughout the show. There is one scene where a couple decided to do IT in the front seat of the car. They were vigorously enjoying themselves. Father was watching it and then said aloud, "They don't have to show off!" (Huh???)

On another scene, the couple were doing some pretzel moves. The guy fell off the bed, landed on the floor and broke his ankle. My dad was confused and asked me, "what happened?" I didn't answer right away because how do you explain THAT to your own father?! But he asked again. So I answered, "They were playing on the bed. He fell off and got hurt."

Today she's a comedian: I just gave her pills she said "Oh come on! More pills, I'll be flying, people will say, look at that lady flying by without wings"!

At mother's recent hospital visit! We were waiting in the waiting room as the ER was full, no beds there or upstairs. The hospital had us wait with others in the waiting room after a nurse had took all the notes and vp's on mother. Mother had started softly singing to my horror! I whispered to her "Plz mother You are going to clear the room, you sound like Edith Bunker, stop singing!" Mother stopped singing, thought a minute " Well now, let's turn it up a bit" And she give it her all, singing the words to the theme of All in the Family. I couldn't stop laughing, Neither could others. But it got us the next bed!! Lol!

Today, I was singing some of Mama's favorite church hymns to her. One that I remember she sang a lot was a very old one... "When the Roll if Called up Yonder I'll be There"...and that phrase is how the chorus ends each time. I sang that and she said, "You just think you will..." then she laughed and said.."Maybe then I'll get some peace and quiet"....it shocked me but then it cracked me up....

This took place about a month and a half ago. Me: Mommy, are you going to church? Mom, angrily: I do not know. Me: We will be picked up in an hour and a half, so I need to know now. Mom: silence, and still in bed. I left for church. During the week now, Mom is getting dressed for church. Me: Mommy, it is Friday, there is no church today. Mom heading for the front door, I go and stand in front of her, I say: You are not stepping foot outside the yard. Mom: Please move so I can pass. Me: You are not leaving this yard, I am not joking. I go about my business, she stands for a while. Then she turns around and heads for her room. She locked herself out. She went to her other room door -she has access from two sides. Both are locked. She came to me. Do you have the key to my bedroom? She had put the door knob on lock, when she "was boldly going to church", because I am stealing or ransacking her stuff or hiding them. I just let her sit in the living room, playing with her bag full of nonsense, while I unlock her door and screw out the door knobs and remove them permanently. Up to today she does not understand why her door knobs are gone.

It's hot here in San Diego so I got a very large iced chai to share with my mom. I ran into Trader Joe's to get her some ice cream and when I got back she very proudly handed me the cup, completely drained of chai, still filled with ice, and said, very proudly, "I saved all this for you!"

I didn't eat on time for dinner since I had a late lunch. It's now 8pm. I said, "I'm hungry."
My dad asked, "You're hungry?"
I said, "yes."
He replied, "I'm Frank." .... then he started laughing.

Changing his pampers tonight. Since he soaked the pants and bedpad, I took off his shirt, slacks and loafers. All he had on other than his 'birthday suit' was the socks and his arm sleeves (like a long gloves with 2 holes for the thumb and hand, goes up to his upper arm ... to keep him warm when he kicks off his blanket.)

As I was cleaning him up, he gave a gasp. I turned quickly to see what was wrong. He was staring in panic at his feet and then exclaimed, "Where's my shoes?" Well, now I know what's his first priority when it comes to clothing!

Helping Lorene get ready for bed... I was setting on the edge of the bed and she started rubbing my back.... " You need to stop eating eggs".... surprised, I asked her why, she said, "because there is too much fat back here!"..... Told her I thought that might be from the cookies, not the eggs... !!!!

LadeeM - I thought that comment was going in a whole different direction! LOL

Too funny. I love this thread - it helps keep things lighthearted.

Mom went to bed early last night, all on her own... just got into bed fully clothed and pulled the covers up over her head. I asked her if everything was ok? She said "no it's not". So I had to ask "mom, what's wrong"? Her reply....

I'm such an a**hole lately (yes, she's been a pill lately and apparently knows it)

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry

Susan... LOL,,, I didn't even think of that.... eggs do have an odor don't they.... LOL

LadeeM - that was my *first* thought! LOL I thought maybe you made a little fluffy or something and she was calling you out on it!

Aw, Jeanette - those are the comments that *almost* make everything worthwhile and give us the strength to keep going some days. Sounds odd, but just someone acknowledging how difficult they're being to care for...that just helps some, doesn't it?

My mother has always gotten mixed up about product names and even words - the other day she wanted some Sunoco. I said ' you don't drive, why would you need gas?'
She said 'I don't want gas - I'm constipated again.' ( She meant the Sennokot laxative)
And then there was the time she told a man that she didn't like him 'acting so impotent.' (!)

We took mom to Gibbs Gardens today and she did well and we were going back to the our gold Sport Trac and it was sitting next to a red Camry. She got happy and said "I am so glad you got a nice red car."! I said mom this is our truck and she said 'That's too bad, you need a nice red car!" My husband and I just laughed and laughed.

Just had to share - we were all watching TV the other day when a little person came onscreen. My mom (who has dementia) pipes up and says, "I know that guy! He played one of the Munchkins on the Wizard of Oz!" Well, this actor wasn't even BORN when The Wizard of Oz was produced, so my husband and I just exchanged knowing looks. And then my mom finishes the conversation with, "And he hasn't grown one bit!" (Yup, we lost it.....!)

It's Sunday, and it's the only day when I make actual hot coffee. The rest of the week is a small can of Iced coffee. I just brought it in the livingroom so that I can continue to use the computer.

Bedridden dad exclaimed, "Something's burning! I better get ready to run!"

Its Saturday, the day I spend with dad at the ALF. he's been fight a cold and had toilet paper setting on the kitchen table. He said, as I replaced the toilet papers with a box of tissues, "thanks, its been pretty hard remembering to take those to the bathroom for the other end."

while visiting at one of my SIL's my dad had a beer and when my BIL asked later if he would like another dad replied No thanks I'm driving! He hasn't driven in about 18 months.

The other night, Mom and I were watching the movie "Planes, Trains and Automobiles" with Steve Martin & John Candy. If you've seen that movie, you know all about the scene at the rental car counter and the language involved. Mom sat there and giggled like a schoolgirl at the F-word filled tirade that Steve Martin spewed at the rental car employee at the counter....and then when the employee replied to him in kind, Mom actually repeated it, word for word - I've *NEVER* heard her say that word in my life! I had to just sit here and laugh at her.

I'm sitting here, rolling with silent laughter .. silent because roomy is on the other side of the wall, sleeping and I don't want to wake her.

My contribution: Edna's right side was badly effected from her stroke and both arm and leg become rigid without imposed movement. She almost always wakes up and as I slowly get it moving, she quips, "Stiff as a peter, huh?" and thus begins the laughter .. and the peeing. And more laughter. And more pee. At least I know she's emptying her bladder.

Oh my gosh, Ladee C! Too funny!

I was driving my mother home from an outing one day and I told her that I was going to get my daughter something from Taco Bell. I asked mom if she wanted anything and she wanted to know what my daughter was going to get. I told her I was getting her a Mexican pizza. Mom replied " Mexicans don't eat pizza, just get me a Pepsi"

My 80-year-old MIL had an idea while my husband and I were driving her to visit our son, who lives in the Midwest. We passed several hotels on the highway: Marriott, Radisson, Day's Inn and the like, and MIL decided there should be a new kind of hotel, one called the Sex Hotel.
"People could go there and have sex," she said brightly.
The Sex Hotel. I crack up whenever I think about it.

It's after dinner and I'm using the laptop. In the middle of my typing, my father politely asked me, "When you have time, can you please give me one gum?" I said, "okay." I continued typing for another 20 minutes. I completely forgot his request.

I see in my peripheral vision, he's searching all over the bed and end table. He finally asked me, "Did you give me gum? I cannot find it."

Ooops! I forgot!

Monday night my dad comes up the steps from family room and asks when is supper. I reply in about 30 minutes as Hubby will be home. Dad shakes his head and says "again" in a different tone of voice. Guess you had to be there!

Often after mom is down for the night, we go get a bite to eat. Last night mom said after she had on her nightgown, I would really like to have an evening gown to wear to bed. I asked why? She said "So when you go out, I could wake up and go with you." Busted!

"what have you got to be stressed about" yep this will be THE funniest thing she will ever say to me!

I may have said this previously.
Mother asked me why I didn't go to college on the GI bill. I told her that I wasn't military. She asked my why I didn't enlist? I said "During Viet Nam?" !!

My dad has been mentioning craving ice cream for weeks now. I hesitated to buy it since it costs like $8.00. 2 nights ago, I finally caved in. So, after work, I bought 2 boxes of ice cream. One for me - coffee with nuts. I've tried other flavors for dad. I finally found one that he might love. Tillamook Banana Split (mainly vanilla and strawberry flavor with banana, walnuts, fudge and cherries.)

I prepared his ice cream in a bowl. Drizzled some chocolate fudge on it, mixed it up then gave him. As he was eating it, he kept humming with appreciation. Hours afterwards, he kept saying, "That ice cream is good! Do we still have more?"