What is the funniest thing your aging parent has said to you lately?

I got a call from the plumber; my mom called them and is demanding they put her old garbage disposal back in....it was 40 yrs old, quit 4 months ago and we had it replaced at that time....She said the new one is broken and doesn't work (its quiet and she can't hear it).

My 97 year old Mom is deaf in one ear and her "good" ear isn't much better. She calls me on the phone asking how to use her remote control to turn on the TV. I explain how to hold it and where the power button is. She asks," you want me to push the bicycle wheel?" No, Mom the power button in the upper right corner. "All I see is a bicycle wheel." Are you looking at the remote? "Yes!" She is getteing very frustrated with me at this point and I'm thinking she is not hearing me. She keeps saying bicycle wheel, I keep trying to get her to push the button. Finally, I say, "OK push the bicycle wheel". Boom the TV comes blaring on. I guess the power button looks like a bicycle wheel! Whatever works!

Our last name is "Gettys"-(pronounced Get-ees). One day the phone rang and my mom, who is hard of hearing answered it. The caller said "May I speak to Ms. Gettys?". My mom yells back at her--"No I haven't eaten spaghetti ! Its just now time for breakfast!"

Last week was a rough week with mom, she had fallen...took her to the doc and a sore on her toe was infected. My sis and I had her soak her foot and we were looking thru her first aid kit. I found an antiseptic wipe. My sister who has not drank in 4 years said, that is probably just an alcohol wipe..as she walked away our mom said, "I don't drink, only you do that!" We both laughed and we needed that laugh after the week we just went through, Lol!!

The PT came to see Mom at hospice yesterday and while the PT was giving Mom exersizes to do, she told the PT, "Ok, you can go now."

OMG - this post should come with a laughter ahead warning! I almost spilled my coffee on my laptop, I'm laughing so hard. Here4her, Cricket, and LindaMS thanks for making my day starting with laughter.

My mom isn't funny per se, but has just the best hallucinations. She's Lewy Body Dementia. When she first moved into IL, she said a cat had come into her apt. Then again a couple of weeks later, then again... Kitty just sat over in the corner, no food, no petting, just was there very matter of fact. Her apt was 3rd floor in a corner by emergency stairs. So after kitty #3, I walked her floor and the apt's right below her to ask about who's kitty it could be. Well no pets allowed except on ground floor of IL. Hallucination. A couple of months later, a bunny appeared in the same corner twice. But this time, she was po'd because bunnies are supposed to leave candy and a basket. Got to love what dementia does to the brain.

My mom just got out of a week of PT after being in the hospital for a week due to C.O.P.D Exacerbation. She told me not to tell people she had that because it sounds like a bad word.

Thank you so much for asking this question !! I laughed so much - what a relief !!
My story is of when my (then) 82 year old Mum when to hospital to have a 'ring' fitted as an outpatient due to a prolapsed womb which was causing problems with her waterworks.
Firstly she refused point blank to have the procedure done unless myself and my sister were with her as the doctor looked like 'he should still be in nappies' ! We obliged and were positioned either side of her, holding her hands, and all was going well until she suddenly shouted "Stop, Stop - I feel like I'm having an organism - and I don't want another baby at my age !!" Well, after a few seconds of stunned silence, everyone in the room burst into laughter (including the frosty-faced doctor).
Mum died the end of January and I miss her so much. It's so good that the happy and funny memories are starting to take over from the misery. I need and appreciate this site for all that you do.

This was just what the Dr. ordered - haven't laughed this much in ages. Thanks for all your stories - I have one too - usually when the family gets together Mom(Nana) gets the last word on the TV programming and is generally not too happy if there's an important game on that the fellows just can't miss. Last Christmas someone put the Nativity story on while I was in the kitchen preparing dinner - and suddenly Nana spoke up and said quite loudly, "This program is boring - why don't we watch something Christmassy?"

As an add on to my previous story, I should have explained that Mum often got her words mixed up - and after the laughter (which, bless her, she didn't understand) died down, the procedure continued, with Mum adding "I hope you do abominations young man - because I mean what I say" !!

My grandmother, years ago. She was about 90. I was sitting with her and my sister the day after another sister had gotten married. Grandma said to my sister, "you were such a beautiful bride yesterday". There was an awkward pause as the bride was not the sister she was talking to. My sister finally said, "Grandma, I am Susie. Mary got married yesterday." Without missing a beat my Grandmother said, "well if you girls came around a little more often, I'd be able to tell you apart". Touche, Grandma, touche.

I will say current funny, when my MIL talks about the llama-like creatures she has seen in our backyard, I just have to bite my cheek to keep from laughing.

When my mom was staying at the P.T. place a nurse came in and explained how they have many activity's she could join, such as bingo,movie night and quiz night. I asked mom if she would be doing any of these. She said "why would I do those here when I don't do them at home " I said because you don't have those activity's down the hall in your house.

When my mil first began having issues, she called one evening with a question. She had bought a very small, decorative lamp with a fancy fabric shade and was trying to get it to work. She complained to me that when she tried to read, the fabric lampshade would get very hot and actually started smoking at one point with the 60W bulb she had put into the lamp! I immediately told her to put the small bulb back in and she did. Then she called back to say that she couldn't read with that little tiny lightbulb in there and had put a bigger one it and the shade had actually caught fire. Again, I told her to only use the smaller bulb and she agreed, even though there wouldn't be enough light for her to read by. You guessed it - in a few minutes, the phone rang yet again.....

I would of told her to take it back to the store and get one with a bigger bulb. The one she had will catch fire. They just cannot remember directions anymore. You pretty much have to do it for them.

My mother always said she wanted a hobby, but I pointed out to her that she was the project manager of her house projects. She was intent on redecorating the living room. We took her to look at couches, furniture and fabrics. She tested out three different decorators, and no matter how many times she went out looking she could not make a decision as to what she wanted. She went so far as to order things then cancel the order. For a while she stopped and then she mentioned she wanted to redecorate the living room again. My sweetheart said, welcome to reality series redecorating the living room season six. She laughed so hard when she realized what she had been doing... Every time any of us revisited a decision that we had trouble making we would say, 'welcome to season..." and laugh it off.

My very proper, very sweet mom, 92 yrs old, who passed recently was eating like a super model during her last years, while we were trying to lose weight. She said she just wasn't hungry. We did everything we could to find food she would like and would eat. One of her last meals was a large shell steak with a big baked potato and sour cream. She dug into the potato and the steak, cut it all into pieces, ate it all. Then she picked up the bone and ate it until it was clean. We were giggling that she was eating so well. Then she turned to us, looked at our plates and asked if we were finished with our bones and laughed. Yum, yum... she really liked it!

My sweet mom passed recently and we started going through her things. We had given her a cell phone... which she NEVER EVER used. I would try to reach her when the power went out, but she never picked up the phone. One time I was so worried I drove 1.5 hours to check on her. I came into her home, used the light from my cell phone in the dark and I was sure I would find her dead in her bed. I walked cautiously though her house and found her in her bed all cuddled up. I touched her on the shoulder and she sat up! I asked her why she didn't answer her cell phone and told her that she scared me half to death with worry. She said, honey the power went out. What else do you do when the power goes out? Of course you take a nap!

Then after she passed I took her cell phone and listened to all the messages. There really wasn't anything, except that over the course of a year and a half, her 90 year old little sister had left 13 messages on the phone, yelling into the phone... as if when she spoke louder, mom would be able to hear her, telling mom to PICK UP THE PHONE! Finally, one of the last messages she said she would send her husband, who used to work for the phone company but is now dead, the 5 hour trip to my mom's to teach her how to use the phone. By the time we heard the last message of mom's little sister yelling PICK UP THE PHONE we were in tears, laughing so hard. They were great sisters. They talked to each other at least twice a day, even though they lived 5 hours apart. Now I try to call mom's little sister every now and then, just to give her a boost ...

Thank you so much for making me laugh again with this wonderful topic! I love it. After being sad at the loss of my mom, you are helping me remember the good times and cherish them even more.

Thank you Lindams for asking this question. It sure brightens my day and to know that other men and women have laughed and shared great and funny moments with parents as I have. Mom has dementia and is in hospice, has gotten way better physically but the dementia is worse. But she keeps me in stitches ALL of the time even though I am in pain emotionally. The other day I told her that she just forgot that I came yesterday [wrong thing to say of course!!] But then she told me that I am the one who forgets everything, I am the one losing it, I am the one who is always wrong and to stop acting that way. She told me in a totally very matter of fact way that made me laugh so hard that I had tears in my eyes and I started to cough, but her face was deadly serious; which made it even funnier.

My 84 yr old Mom is in the Nursing Home and she follows the nurses around when they give out meds, because she does not sleep much. Last week on the night shift she went in with the nurse an d she told the nurse she wanted to "taste" one of the men as he lay sleeping. The nurse cracked up. The man favors her last husband and I think she meant "kiss". The next morning when the next nurse went on rounds and Mom went with her, she asked Mom if this was the man she wanted to "taste", Mom said "yes". We were all laughing.

My sister took my mom food shopping the other day my mom told her she needed to get canned tuna and canned chicken. Mom picks up store brand tuna then is looking for the canned chicken. She says here it is and shows my sister a can of " Chicken of the sea tuna"

My mother is in assisted living and they gave her an alert button to wear around her neck if she needed anything. The other day, she was saying that she had never been in a hospital before that didn't have a call button in the room if you needed help. I said "They gave you a medical alert necklace to wear around your neck. Where is it?" She replied..."It's in my pocketbook. Do you want to borrow it?"

Last week mom escaped and headed down the high way. The police picked her up, took her out for a slurpee and then waited at a busy intersection for me to search for her. It worked. We asked around and then saw he officer. Told him we had lost our granny. He asked for my Identification and then proceeded to the car door and let mom out of the patrol car. We got her in the car and was looking to see how much worse for the wear she was. As soon as the police man shut the door and was out of hearing she exclaimed !! That was fun!!!

My mother is, or used to be very prim and proper, very ladylike. She now has bouts of anger. One day she was talking very bad about my sister, and i said, "Mom, I love my sister, I wont listen to this". To this she replied, "I know you love your sister, your head is so far up her but you can smell her s***!" I have hardly ever heard my mom use this word, so funny.

Mom and I went out to eat last Saturday, we were having a good time, laughing, talking away. Then she picks up a shrimp off her plate and slurps the thing down and says...."I slurped that sucker down". I really had a good laugh, not sure about the others' in the restaurant, but I sure had a good hardy-har-har!

Last night my father was fretting about the diagnosis of vascular dementia we received earlier in the day..(Yeah! We now have a label for this craziness that has been displayed for over a year.. maybe we can get some help?)

The diagnosis wasn't what he was most concerned about...
His big fear was about a carotid artery ultrasound test he has to take next week.

He wanted to know, if they were going to make him wear a tin foil hat & hook up wires to his head, & accused me of conspiring with the Dr.s to put him in, His words.. "The Loony Bin"

His recent cognitive test results said there is no evidence of delusional thinking or thought disorder.

lynda1 All these tests do sound scary and at the basis, does someone just announce after the tests are done, you have changed and not yourself anymore. Where do you go from there? My mom always just tells them "You're nuts not me!"

My mother is the pickiest eater..I made a delicious pasta dinner..and she made a face like the yuck face on the poison jar and said "Didnt you know, pasta is for poor people!"...like shes a millionaire or something...

I woke up to several voice mails from my 95 year old aunt that suffers from dementia...she said "I didn't know that was your husband that was here!!" "Nothing happened, don't worry" :)

I had a very stressful day- got called yesterday from hospital that there was a suspicious spot on my mammogram last week and I needed to come in today to have checked out. Turns out to be nothing (yay), but it was very stressful. I am having surgery next week for something else, so I am busy at work and home getting ready for that. Most of my Christmas shopping has to be done by this weekend. Needless to say, I am very stressed. So, I get home tonight, and MIL asked me if I took her underwear. I really had to keep from laughing. Yes, I stole your panties. Good grief.

Hi my first post. Always good to laugh so I'll start here. On an extended family vacation to the beach last summer my Mom , who suffers from a brain stem stroke and possible Alzheimer's watched as my husband tried to get a fish off a hook to toss back in. I guess she thought he was taking too long because she leaned from her chair and said " Bill, hurry, he's gasping!" she has such a hard time talking but she got that out! He got it off in time * phew