What is the funniest thing your aging parent has said to you lately?

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You just have to laugh sometimes.....

Some of my recent favourites are:

"I had a terrible night last night. I had to stay awake .. until I went to sleep" (said several times over, with greater emphasis each time, because of course if you repeat it, then it must make sense.)

"drinking water causes gas, so no water, and no salt, cause salt makes you drink water"

"the toothpaste took all the enamel off my teeth in just 3 days!"


oh, and in a similar vein... the staff told me that mom got lots and lots of exercise yesterday. "She was happily walking the halls most of the afternoon." Turns out, she was lost and couldn't find her room, but didn't tell anyone! She just walked and smiled at passersby.
I love this question. My mom is very funny. I have shared some in the past. I'll try. To remember some more.
On thing she says in the morning when I get her up is "cock-a-doodle do", any ole cock will do ! Then we both crack up. That was a saying when she was younger. She is and has always been very ornery. It has passed clear down to her great granddaughter
While driving mom back to the NH after taking her to her sil's funeral, mom says, "Birds have the keys to the car". I'm like, what? She said, "Birds....they have keys". THEN, she said, "They didn't shoot us hard enough". I say, "what...somebody SHOT US???" She started laughing. If you don't laugh, it's just not much fun.
While watching the movie Ever After with Drew Barrymore as Cinderella. Cinderella came out in a beautiful gown with wings... looked like and angel as the prince was admiring her entrance, in the spotlight... Mom say's "That's supposed to be me!!" I am so glad Mom thinks she is young and beautiful!!!!
I love the memories of this stuff now....when I was Mom's main caregiver it wasn't so funny, too stressed to laff then! OH I got a bunch of stories like video's in my head ....now and forever. I'd love to share, it's seems that, other caregivers of dementia sufferers only see the humor.
I have to share a story about a friends Mom.... My friend caring for her Mom, was OK, alone for short time periods. My F walked into the house as her Mom was shouting "get out of here, you better get out before I'll call the cops." Her Mom was standing only inches away from a painting (that her son actually painted). It was hanging on the wall at the end of a hallway. It was of a girl standing in the distance in a field alone. She was banging and slamming her walker on the floor, mad at the girl, as she was begging her to go away. To her Mom I guess it looked like she was in another room in the house.
LindaMS helpful hint: my Mom does the same thing but she recognizes her room by her name on the door. I had them label her closets and drawers too.
I have a couple funny stories but they are not recent as they are from my dear daddy who passed in 2003 from Alzheimer's. 1) One evening my parents are watching TV when my dad look over at my mother and said, "Are you ever going to go home, you've been here all day?" 2) It was during Christmas season and my mother and me took my dad to several Christmas Concerts and plays. This one particular concert was a a classical music concert. A woman sang a solo (she was the soprano), after a few more songs the soprano started to sing a solo again and my dad said "Oh no, not again!" This does go over well at a classical concert, people gave us such dirty looks, but I laughed so hard I cried.
My step dad who has passed many years ago. We were at my adult daughters baptism(joint the catholic church) it was a 3 hour affair. Burning of letters to God, dthe pouring of holy water in baptismal. Then a long mass. Step dad was in wheel chair with his head hung down ( mind sharp as a tack) bored.
The priest comes behind everyone with big palm leaves dipped in holy water and sprinkled everyone in the church from behind. Step dsds bald head gets wet he shouts out loudly "it's raining in here"! My brother (may he rip) and I cracked up. It was like in school, we could not even lookat each other. The people arounD us were cracking up too. It might be a "you had to be there moment".
Tonite getting mom ready for bed I told her I loved her, she said "I've loved you longer". I said " I loved you when I was in your tummy". She said " I loved you when you were still in your Dad, and you can't go back any further".
This one is my favorite.... Keep in mind my Mom was well know for wandering at this point and the police knew her Well especially the handsome Sargent ...that's what Mom called him. I was trying to get her to get in my car after she got out of the house, via the window, she usually took to the road walking but this day she knew I couldn't follow her if she walked in the woods. She grabbed a branch and was threatening to call the cops if I came closer. Well without a thought I screamed someone call the police... A woman came out on her deck and said really??? I said "just tell them It's "Helen"". The woman must have thought I was nuts but she called and the "HANDSOME SARGENT" came. My Mother forgot all about me and walked up to the police suv and say's. "OH HELLO OFFICER WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME TONIGHT?" Thank the Lord he knew how to handle her!!
My mother-in-law's memory is declining. She didn't remember eating all her cookies, so when she wanted one and found the box empty, she told my husband that someone broke into her house and ate her cookies. There was no way to convince her otherwise.

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