My caretaking journey ended August 13th, 2016 with the passing of my dear father. Before that I cared for my mother until she passed. My father slowly decided to go along with her. Dementia was the cause of death. The first couple of months I had hope for life after they were gone. I threw the funeral of a "lifetime", I did everything perfectly. Then the holidays hit and here I am. Alone. The last in the family. Seemingly the last person on earth to me. I dont know how to find my fire again. I dont know how to stay here on earth without them. My love all left me here. I am an artist and I cant find anything in my soul to inspire me to work. I feel like everyone is avoiding me. Nobody wants to hang out with grief. I need help.