I am taking care of my 90 year old mom who has limited mobility and some dementia. I moved both of my parents into my home 5 years ago. My dad died last year and my mom's condition has worsened ever since. I have been on top of every aspect of their health care for years and they have had a mostly stress free life with me as their caregiver. My mom has developed some mild incontinence and tries to cover it up when she has an accident. I have asked her to just let me know so that I can help her get cleaned up rather than putting herself at risk trying to do it all herself. She interprets my impatience as anger at her incontinence which is not the case. She has always been timid and self deprecating - never good enough - always the one who is wrong. It has gotten much worse as she has aged and so if I do get upset with her she takes it very hard and tells me to put her way or put her out on the street. Truthfully I have done everything for my parents ever since I can remember. I am an only child and was taught to care for them and others by the example of how they cared for many of their own relatives. Today, however I am sad and feel guilty because my mom thinks I am angry at her and I think she has become anxious because of it. I feel as though I need to be more gentle and loving but it is not really who I am. I have always been different than her - more direct - honest and not as sweet as her. Help?