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Yesterday would have been my dad's 88th birthday. He died in 1989 from metastatic lung cancer. Mom has dementia & doesn't know who anyone is. She broke her hip in April & her femur in August, yet otherwise healthy as a horse. Our darling daughter died in March from side effects of chemotherapy. Her husband cut off contact with us & won't let us see our grandchildren. My Mom's younger brother, only 78 y/o, died in March as well. Our son threatened us with physical harm via phone messages & texts because we won't give him "his" inheritance. It was so bad I changed all our phone numbers & blocked his phone.


DH is ever so slowly & gently fading into himself. Heartbreaking. I tried placing him in a care facility last week, but I couldn't leave him there. We came home & I was strangely relieved.


My counselor says I have had too much sadness & loss too close together to handle anything more.


So, feeling blue today y'all, just feeling blue ...

If he has location services activated on his phone you can place that picture on Google maps. Then you will know his general location.
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I wanted to thank everyone who prayed for me & my family! Yesterday son in law texted me pictures of the grandchildren!!! He didn't give me any info on where they are, but yesterday they were clean, smiling & dressed for school. What a blessing for sure!

Praise GOD from whom all blessings flow!!!
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Good for you longears and great that you enjoy it so. I am in a rural area, many farms and ranches of all sorts here. I grew up in the city and never in my wildest dreams would I have guessed I would be here. When I first arrived, just over 2.5 years ago now, I rented a place on two acres, that was too much for me. So I built a home, on about an acre, I am still getting used to taking care of the yard. About half is landscaped, so cutting and gardening which I enjoy. But, the goat heads! Maybe a couple of goats would help to keep the natural area "mowed" but, not permitted here. And then the bind weed!

Enjoy!
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RBuser1, I don't have rabbits although I would love that. We adopted a donkey from animal control five years ago. A nickname for donkeys & mules is longears.

Never in a million years would I have thought I would raise cattle. I love to garden, cook, knit, quilt, paint & do home improvement projects. I like to work puzzles & build things. The closest I ever got to a cow was my collection of 175 cow figurines: all colors, sizes & materials.

I believe something will find you that you will delight in. If it seems odd or implausible, remember the crazy cow lady & never say never!
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just curious where your name came from, do you also have longeared rabbits? I'm glad you are able to do what you do. You inspire me to get off my butt and do something...anything. Just need to get outside more. So thank you!
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Gladimhere, We had no experience at all with livestock or tractors or farming until we bought this place 7 years ago. DH fell in love with the house & view. The reality of managing 20+ acres never occurred to him. We needed livestock to keep the pastures "mowed." So we raised beef cattle. Due to the rapid decline of DH's short term memory he couldn't keep the farm going, so I learned how to manage the land, repair machinery, deliver calves, do preventative & emergency medical care, replace & repair fencing, etc. You name it; I learned to do it.

I am perpetually exhausted, seldom have a clean house & never wear girly clothes but I can't imagine not having cattle. We had to sell our herd last year when our daughter was first diagnosed with cancer so that we could afford to rent a place for all of us to live while she was being treated.

After she died & we lost access to our grandchildren & we came home, I thought I would lose my mind with grief. I didn't want to live anymore. I DID NOT want to kill myself. I just didn't care what happened to me.

Then I got the chance to manage a small herd of first calf heifers for a friend. They eat my pastures & I keep an eye on their health & get them socialized to people. I jumped on that like a duck on a June bug.

These cows give me something positive on which to focus & a reason to go outside. I take DH with me while I do chores giving him a chance to be outside & engaged.

The cows will go home after the holidays so they can calve there. By then I hope to have enough money saved to buy a few cows for myself.
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Good morning, Longears. You have had so much loss in a short time, I am sorry for that. What sort of livestock doo you have? How many? Being a city girl caring for livestock sounds like very hard work. I am in a rural area now, lots of people here have their dairies and farms. I am finding out how much work it is and how hard it is. It consumes ones time and energy.

Sounds like you are doing well. Have a great day.
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polarbear, my reply from yesterday seems to have vanished so am guessing I pushed the wrong button. Easy to do while holding pets & typing on the phone.

Your chocolate bread sounds lovely! We have a few apples left as well. Some I will feed my donkey. If there are enough good ones I will make a cake.

So glad you got a break from caregiving. It makes a great difference doesn't it?

Slow day yesterday: watched football, fed the livestock, sat on the porch until it became too hot & humid. DH naps in front of the TV in between going with me to do chores/errands.

Hoping for cooler weather so I can work outside more comfortably. DH attends adult daycare M-F giving me time to get things done inside & out.
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Longears - how are you today? How is your husband? Any weekend project?

Mine was to make a chocolate bread because I was craving for it. And I made that yesterday. It turned out too airy, more like a cake texture than bread, but good nonetheless. I have some apples on the trees that need picking. I think an apple pie is calling me.

My 82 y.o. Alz mom has gone out with a niece. Thanks goodness we have 2 sitters that can come and take her out and give me breaks.
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Great big hugs & thanks for all the comments. In the back of my mind when I posted was the hope someone else was out there reading the daily "mail" & deciding to connect. This is such an awesome site. Each person has been through something that resonates with others. Everyone can get ideas & advice & support for handling situations & coming out the other side mostly intact.
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elaine - when I say chat, I mean the threads, not a chat room where you write messages back and forth in real time. Sorry for the confusion.
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Longears I am so sorry for all your losses. Keep coming back here to this forum. I am relatively new on here. Only been here a couple of weeks but it really does help!!
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Polar bear is there a chat room on aging care or did you mean here? I am relatively new on here. Only have been here a couple weeks.
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Longears, I hear the sadness in your words (voice). I'm sorry you are going through this tough time. Stay with AC. You will find love and hugs here.
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Longears - on weekends, check in with us here. There are always someones here to chat with and keep you company, not to mention new posts that you can help answer and lend support.
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As to our son's threats, we told all our friends, extended family, counselor, doctors & social workers. We did not get a restraining order. Our counselor says it is possible he has psychological problems. He has a over bearing personality & thinks he is the smartest guy in the room.

Our son in law is a 50 year old party boy. He is addicted to muscle relaxants & xanax. He takes a few & zones out to Japanese manga cartoons. His party drug of choice is heroin.

He was taking our daughter's opioid pain meds prescribed after her mastectomies & following surgeries. The week after she died, he took enough muscle relaxants & hydrocodone to pass out & become unresponsive. I found him face down & called 911. He was alert enough to refuse treatment, but passed out again right away. The paramedics couldn't take him, but after a look around his room & bathroom: dirty diapers, dirty clothes, cigarettes, half empty baby bottles, food containers, everything trashed they asked what was going on.

I told them the story. They said get all the drugs out of the house even the ones with his prescription. A few days later social services came to the house saying we were reported as a family in crisis. Son in law blames me for calling 911.

We do have lots of support here but sometimes weekends are hard as I don't feel comfortable calling or texting friends then. They have husbands & children & grandchildren & are busy having "normal" lives.
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I’m sorry, longears. I will be praying for you.
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Longears - so sorry for all your heart aches. It hurts most when our children turn on us. Does your son have a drug problem? Or mental problem? I would take his threat seriously. Have you reported it to the police and get a restraining order against him?

Why did your son-in-law but off contact? If you don't mind sharing.

Do you have any social support for you and your husband?
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Thank you for the prayers. They are gratefully appreciated! Just found out a neighbor's cancer has returned & another neighbor's brother is in ICU with a brain bleed & infected dialysis shunt. So many, many people dealing with illness & suffering. I should be grateful my woes are relatively mild in the big scheme of things!
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Longears, so sorry you have had all these heartbreaks.

I will be praying for you.
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