My mother died Dec. 20. It was a horrible year for her (and my brother & I) and ended with a fall that broke bones, caused serious complications and excruciating pain for her last 2-1/2 weeks of life. I've been exhausted (along with her) from the year and am still very scattered over her death. I truly thought she might beat the odds and make it.
But, right now I am having a big problem with hurt feelings, to the point of intense anger, because my out-of-state brothers-in-law did nothing more than send an email back to husband expressing 'regrets' when he notified them she had died. Not even one of the 3 bothered to send flowers to the funeral home or even a card of condolence! No, money is not a problem for any of them and 2 are extremely wealthy and all are retired -my husband & I are the poor ones in the family and still working.
My husband and I (both of us over 65) have been married for only 7 years, but they all knew my mother and she was included in family functions when they were in to visit my MIL (here near us in a NH and my husband & I take care of her needs).
Maybe I am over-reacting, but I still can't make myself get past or let go of this. I'm not sure I will be able to be civil to them. I'm so angry I haven't taken recent calls from my MIL who phones ME at work (not my husband) with one or more requests for every freaking thing on a daily basis (mentally she's fine, but has mobility and some health problems). I expected the Facebook only 'sorry' from acquaintances and adult step-kids (his last 2 from his 2nd marriage are really spoiled & churlish), but my husband's eldest drove his family over 80 miles to attend the visitation which was so nice and I appreciated so much.
Okay, I needed to vent. My husband doesn't want to hear anything more about it and frankly acted like he didn't see a problem with them just sending an email to him which made me feel even more hurt. Actually, I didn't know they'd emailed him until a few days ago when I finally asked if he had even told them she died since I hadn't heard word one from any of the families.
It just feels very ugly. There were others I expected to hear from too, but this disregard from 'family' feels much worse.