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I would rearrange it and tell her that the appointment has been moved because both you and your husband are already busy that day and thus are not available as taxi service - you don't have to explain why. My husband is wonderful but it's the sort of thing he'd do as he's hopeless at multi tasking and would easily double book something else. Book something that you want to do for your birthday and put your carer duties aside for your one special day.
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Am I being unreasonable to feel a little fed up that my husband made a dentist appointment for my mother at midday on my birthday, so we can't have a whole day out together? There are local volunteer drivers who would take her for a very small fee, but he hasn't suggested this. I know it's petty, but it's yet another instance of her needs coming first because my husband is too weak to risk a nasty scene with her if he objects to being her errand boy. I don't want to suggest it either, for the same reason and because he would probably have a go at me for being silly or selfish. Sometimes I think he might as well be her husband not mine now, as her being here has affected our relationship quite badly.
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Aleta1961, sorry to hear you are still suffering the fallout from a week ago. I too had a panic attack after an outburst from my mum. I’d never had one before and had always thought of myself as a fairly resilient person. They are scary when they happen, but in reality are a perfectly understandable reaction to an abnormal situation. They are also telling you that this relationship is toxic and really bad for your health, so do keep telling yourself that putting distance between you and your mum is essential for the good of your own health. Your mother is using whatever weapons she has in order to try to undermine you, including lying to your cousins about you. Thankfully it sounds like they know the real you and that she is just trying to alienate other family members from you, which is wicked and unforgivable. When I found out that just a few months after my mother moved in with us she started lying about me and trying to present me in a poor way to people in my neighbourhood who I’d known for years, I felt sick with shock and just couldn’t understand what I’d done to deserve it. She would tell them that she did all the housework, suggested that I was lazy and did nothing, when in actual fact I did everything while she went clothes shopping every day! What she failed to realise is that they saw me doing everything in the home and garden, and saw her dressed up at the bus stop every day, so it was quite clear who was lying. It still lead to a lot of anxiety, as I was worried about what was being said about me, and what people would think of me. I’ve since learned that I cannot do anything about the lies my mother tells, and that it’s pointless worrying about it. Instead I believe that over time, people see the real you from your actions and behaviours, and that applies to my mother as well as to me. I’ve also decided that if anyone should mention these lies to me, I’m going to invite them round for coffee with me and my mother, and ask them to repeat what they’ve told me, for her to explain. I know this would end in rage and tears, but my mother would be exposed for what she is. There’s also a danger that you can go over and over the bad things that have been said over the years, and that too is not good for your health. When I find myself doing this, I try to remember a few more healthy and positive thoughts, such as reminding myself that there are other people who love me, and that I have a right to a happy life and to look after myself. A health professional once told me to be kind to myself. I thought that sounded like a cliche but I can now see that it is a very simple and straightforward way of putting things, and absolutely right.
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ExhaustePiper....I so feel your pain. It's like we have the same mother. Mine has refused socialization...or alienated every person her age that she could have been friends with. She has depended on me & my sister to form her life for her. It's an impossible situation. I have absolutely no desire to spend any extended period of time with her. She is so in denial about her life & physical limitations. She's always saying how independent she is !!! It's insane...she's stopped driving years ago...just stopped....so that makes her dependent...just one of 100 things that has to be done for her. She's hijacked my life for most of my adult life...while I married...raised a son...tended to our home & worked a very demanding full-time job in Finance. None of that matters to her as long as her every need has been met. God forbid you don't meet her demands in HER timeframe !! Her attitude & nasty comments will be dumped all over you. My ex-husband couldn't stand her. He hated how she treated me.

Being free of her rath has still not really hit me yet. That horrible blowup happened 1 week ago tomorrow. I had anxiety attacks for 2 days after that....& I'm not prone to those at all. She's called me but I ignore it...thank God she doesn't text. I found-out she's called 2 of my cousins recently & told them all kinds of crazy...thru me under the bus !! They know none of it's true.

I hope you can steel yourself up & talk with her. I've been in your shoes so many times. My conversations have never...ever gone well. I'm thinking good thoughts for you. This crazy has to end. Your health & wellbeing should be your main concerns now. I'm happy you have your husband to lean on. My sister, cousin & assorted friends have been my rock. You are not alone in this fight :)
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I’m glad my own experiences and how I’m coping are helping others. I can see I’ve made a lot of progress as 6 months ago I wouldn’t have been able to give advice to others as I was so lost and distressed. Tomorrow would have been my dad’s birthday, the first since he died last year. I know my mother won’t give me any support or kindness for this (they divorced decades ago) if I mention it tomorrow. She won’t remember it anyway even though they were married for nearly 20 years. In the past I would have been angry and upset about her lack of compassion but I’ve learned to just accept it and instead spend time with people who do care. Tomorrow I will do what feels right for me and without any involvement from her. I shall light a candle, read a poem, plant something in the garden for new life and raise a glass to my dad.
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Chriscat, thank you for all your support. It really helps to hear other people put things in perspective. It helps to hear her behavior is not my fault and I can’t change her behavior but I can change how I react to it.

exhausted piper, we are all behind you 100 percent. Stay focused and strong with your mother. Tell her everything you have told us. When she blows up at you, walk away.
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Chris, thanks for the support. I'm going to stay strong and get this over with. It's overdue as it is, and even if she does blow up (she will) I will have gotten things off my chest, and set the wheels in motion for change.

The advice you have offered is also good. The mantra you tell yourself about your mother's bad behavior not being your fault is one that I recently started to use too. I had been told that in counseling last summer, but it just kept slipping out of my mind until a poster here (BarbBrooklyn) reminded me again. It's crazy that other people have to tell us that someone else's bad behavior is not our fault!

I also agree with you that talking with others does help. I'm glad you are getting support from your aunt and uncle. I need to be more proactive in that area. I'm able to talk to my sister, and she is supportive but long distance. I did tell her I'm at the end of my rope and if things don't drastically change soon I'll move before I lose my health and mind. She gets it, she knows how my mom is and fully supports the idea that my mom needs to move to assisted living to be around her peers with memory care support for when that time comes. We were even looking at places online together on the phone. I have a feeling we'll be revisiting that conversation after today.
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Elaine1962, opening up to other people is very very helpful. I told my aunt and uncle about the problems with my mum a few months ago and since then I’ve had more support form them than I’ve had in my whole life. When you’ve had a lifetime of abuse, at first it’s really hard to believe that people can be kind to you, but accepting their support has helped lighten the burden. Also, the blame culture I can totally relate to. I grew up always getting the blame for everything. As an adult this led to anxiety and a fear of socialising. Through counselling I’ve recognised this in myself, and the more I now involve myself with supportive friends and family, the less I worry about getting blamed for things. Aleta61, well done for walking away. Stay strong and firm about this. You deserve a life without abuse. As a society we expect that mothers love their children, but some mothers are just not capable of this. Accept you can never change their behaviour, and don’t agonise over it for years as I have done. The first lesson my counsellor taught me was that I am not responsible for other people’s behaviour. My husband tells me he has been trying to tell me this for years, but for some reason the message really hit home during early counselling. Now, every time my mother behaves badly, I remind myself that she is at fault for this, not me. I have to keep repeating this to myself like a mantra, as it is hard to turn around a lifetime of thinking in a certain way. I am steadily getting stronger and that is fine. It’s better to make small steps towards a better life for yourself that to expect to change everything instantly. Hope this helps some of you - we are all here on this forum through choice, and writing about your problems is a form of therapy. I am finding that sharing my own experiences of coping is also making me feel better - giving a little is always good for us, but that is something our mothers have never learned.
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Exhausted Piper, I was about to post a longer comment here which I’ll do in a moment, but first, for you, stay strong and focused on what you want to say, and when things blow up, which they surely will, just walk away. Good luck and remember you are doing the right thing. You do not deserve such abuse, nor should you put up with it. Block your mothers calls and texts for a while afterwards if you need to.
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Aleta it IS mind blowing that we have all this suffering because of our own mothers. It's extremely twisted that we are "groomed" to not only put up with their selfish behavior but to take on their problems. My mom has always been like this, since I was a child. Very dysfunctional.

Well my husband jump started the talk I need to have with my mom. He ran into her in the hallway yesterday on his way to the store and she asked him to pick her up some water. Next thing I know she's texting me asking me to come over for coffee since my husband was gone. I replied - no thanks, I'm busy cleaning.

About 30 mins later she texts me again saying she doesn't know why I am mad and we need to talk.

Then my husband comes in the door. Apparently when he dropped off the water she told him she invited me over for coffee and I "ignored" her. (not true) He then told her "You two need to talk". So that is what prompted her second text.

Initially I was angry with him for making the suggestion, but I had to hear him out and I see why he did it. He sees what I am going through every day and I am constantly telling him about my many frustrations. I've been telling him I need to have a talk with her, and I posted the same thing here yesterday morning. I've just been putting it off over fear of her wrath.

So- I'm going over today. I'm going to cover two things. One is her refusal to discuss her diagnosis in any capacity. Twice I've brought it up wanting to discuss the future and both times she flew into a rage. The other is her refusal to help herself socialize with her peers and her reliance on just me and my husband.

Both of those topics will be difficult to discuss because she hates both topics. But I'm sick to death of ignoring the 9000 lb elephant in the living room. And I'm also sick to death of her hijacking my life instead of trying to carve out one of her own.

I imagine in normal mother/daughter relationships this kind of talk would be easy. Actually it wouldn't even be necessary. But not here. I'm expecting that my mother will get very angry because that is her norm. I told my husband that too, and he said well at least you will know you tried. Then when I say I'm done, I won't feel (as) guilty.

I already have that sick feeling in my stomach. The fact that I physically react to the prospect of ANY conflict with her is also very telling and not normal. The thought of my son feeling physically sick because he has to talk to me is so repulsive it makes me realize how severe the dysfunction is and how I am NOT the person who can be her care giver for the next X number of years.
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Thank you struggling for sharing your story. It sounds like my mom.
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It's really sad to know there are this many caring, kind, decent people on this forum experiencing so many of the same issues. Never in my life have I mistreated anyone...screamed at anyone...& generally made another person's life miserable. I'm not perfect...but I try to be very aware of how I treat others. How did Mother's not see how they behave...or do & think it's fine to abuse their daughters. My sister calls her diabolical...I've seen this behave since Jan 1st....& it's shocking to me. Her serious lack of mobility will put her in a Nursing Home...& it's her own fault. My sister sees how a long afternoon can be with her...after a recent Drs Appt. Since I've cut-off all contact it will fall on her. She understands why I've had to do this. But...I know I'll eventually had to step back in...in a much more limited way...just to help my sister...NOT to be my Mother's unpaid employee / Punching Bag...never again. Right now....I'm just adjusting to a different life without all the crazy. Guilt creeps in a little...it's only been a few days since I walked away so I know the decompressing from it's still new.

I hope everyone in this situation can find a way to escape it...its like being in prison...without the bars & armed guards. AND...it's our own mothers doing this to us. We probably all need therapy to cope with it. My good thoughts are with all of you.
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needhelpwithmon, there is no rhyme or reason why some mothers or grandmother’s are so nice and why some aren’t. Especially in the same family. My mother’s mother was a sweetheart. I just don’t get it.
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Elaine,

My husband’s grandma was the opposite of mine. Mine was a doll. She was a witch. She ruined holidays for everyone, especially her husband. He was sweet. Oh, how everyone wished he had divorced her!

My MIL got screwed twice! Her mom and her MIL were awful. She did have a wonderful grandmother. Her mom’s mom who lived to be just shy of 102 was a sweetheart.
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My mother ruined many many holidays because of her outbursts. One time many years ago we were going to my aunt and uncles house for Thanksgiving. My husband and I drove our own car and my parent drove their car. I don’t even think we had kids yet. She walks in the door and starts screaming at my father be at SHE forgot the pictures she was going to show my aunt and uncle. SHE forgot the pictures BUT it was my FATHERS fault!! He was blamed for EVERYTHING!!!!! He was the brunt of her abusive the whole time he was alive. My aunt and uncle lived an hour away so she couldn’t just leave and get the pictures. No we had to listen to her rant and rave for hours while my aunt and uncle calmed her down.
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Exhausted Piper, I use to keep everything inside and not tell anyone anything. But recently I have opened up to a couple of coworkers and I told my Aunt. It was very liberating!! I also told her family doctor everything!! I told APS everything. It hasn’t changed anything as far as her leaving that house, BUT it has changed me and how I respond to her. I don’t run over there all the time. I don’t run up to the hospital all the time. I actually would rather be at work than go over to my mothers house. I have FMLA and have acquired 880 hours of sick time so I do get paid every time I have to go to my mothers instead of work. But lately I would rather be at work, so I choose to go to work instead.
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Exhausted piper. I know what you mean about the competent thing. But as APS explained to me , just because someone makes bad decisions such as hoarding or gambling this doesn’t make them incompetent. My mother has been a hoarder and gambling addict for 20 years. It’s nothing new. But i know she has an undiagnosed, untreated mental illness such as borderline personality disorder, bipolar, or narcissistic disorder. But she is an evil genius and scored high on the mocca competency test. She gets her own food, cooks her own food in microwave, pays her own bills, takes call a bus for her groceries, calls 911 all by herself for help. So in the eyes of the law, she is competent. Chriscat, I am so sorry everything you have gone through also.
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Reading these last few threads since I posted my last one, I’m nodding in agreement with many of the examples of poor behaviour and the effects they have on us. I stopped inviting my mother to restaurants after suffering years of having to read out the menu in great detail, several times over, because she wouldn’t just use her glasses. This ruined the experience for me as by the time the waiter arrived I’d never had time to decide what I wanted and would just order anything. This all started as soon as I had a baby (basically as soon as someone else needed my attention) so the stress of trying to settle a baby in a restaurant was made 10 times harder because of her attention seeking behaviour. The baby turns 18 next week but in the intervening years my mother has tried to get anyone and everyone who ever came out with us for dinner and who was sitting next to her to read the menu for her - even young children! She would then go through each item in turn and ask for a long description of it before rejecting it and moving on to the next item - so very self centred and ruining the night for everyone else. A few years ago I decided “no more” and she has not been invited out with us since. The liberation I felt was wonderful and although I felt guilty at first, I now know that her behaviour was selfish and unacceptable, not just for me but for everyone else too. Now we can go out and spend time socialising with our friends and family rather than being drawn into focusing solely on one selfish person.
I was also interested to read ExhaustedPiper finding that she goes out less now and spends a lot more time at home. I too found this was happening. I felt a prisoner in my own home but often lacked the energy to make the effort and go out. This was due to feeling overwhelmed and anxious, all brought on by years of my mother’s bad behaviour. I knew I needed to tackle this and so I made a long list of things I enjoy doing or feel a sense of achievement doing (some big, some small, some taking 5 minutes, some several days). Whenever I’m feeling low I pick off something on this list and go and do it, regardless of my mother’s latest demands or behaviour. It might just be a coffee outside, or a 10 minute walk, or seeing a friend, but it does help. I also keep telling myself it’s important and OK to put my own needs ahead of the selfish wants of a self-absorbed person. Remember that whatever you do for a person like this will never be enough, so all you will do is make yourself ill. Put your own needs and health first. Remember that you are a nice, good person who deserves a life of their own and you’re not the villain your mother might have spent years brainwashing you into thinking that’s what you are.
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Elaine that competency thing is BS. Your mom is not in her right mind living the way she does, all that unsafe discharge stuff you went through was awful. I would even call it traumatizing.

Keep limiting your contact.

BTW- my mom also acts like an ass in restaurants. She's demanding and always has an attitude with the staff. It's embarrassing. I too stopped going.
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Elaine I'm glad your backing off some because I know your mom is a handful and you have recently been through A LOT. I shudder to think of my mom living well into the 90's. In fact that is one reason I know I need to change my situation. My mom is only 76. This could go on for a very long time.

I think of where I was three years ago, and I'm a shell of that person. The only good thing is I am finally to the point that I will take action. Last year I just felt paralyzed.

Has this affected your relationships with others? Just curious because I'm also realizing this constant state of negativity and opening of old wounds has made me isolate. I shield my adult son but he's in another state right now so thankfully I don't think he's been affected. But I don't go out much. My husband is probably sick of having a depressed wife. I don't really talk to my friends about this because they all have normal families and I don't want to complain anyway.

I just need things to change.
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I forgot to add on my last post that I called APS on my mother. They told me there was nothing they can do because she is “competent.” She can live any way she wants because she still has her mind. I use to take her out to restaurants every Saturday evening but I don’t anymore since she acted up like a 2 year old in the restaurant. I stopped taking her anywhere back in November. She doesn’t treat her grandchildren or my brother like shit. Only me. Save yourself. Don’t feel guilty putting a LO in a facility. You don’t have to take care of your parents!!! Live your life!! We only have one life to live. That life is NOW!!
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Oh wow. How did I miss this thread? I can see why this thread goes back to 2011. So many of us in the same situation. My 95 1/2 year old mother lives alone and is competent. She has her mind but can only walk hanging on to people or with a walker. That being said, she won’t bathe, wash her hair, change her clothes, is a gambling addict who literally gambled all of my fathers money away, AND she is a hoarder like that tv show hoarders. She won’t let anyone in the house except me. She refused assisted living. She won’t even let me help her do anything except take out the trash and mail her bills. She takes call a bus to get her groceries. I haven’t gone no contact yet but I have backed off and see her once a week. I don’t go running over there every time she calls. I don’t go running up to the hospital every time she has a panic attack which was 5 times this month!! I had to step back and tell her NO!!! Save yourself!!! Nobody can do it for you!!! You have to do it for yourself!!You deserve it!!! I don’t even go to the doctors with her anymore, she takes call a bus. The last time I took her to the foot doctor, she handed me an old apt card from 2016 on it. I thought she was giving it to me to throw out, so I threw it out. No she screamed at me to get it out of the garbage. How dare I throw it out!!! She wouldn’t speak to me the rest of the day. Yeah, that was the last time taking her anywhere in my car.
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I've written about my narcissistic mother here a lot, and looks like I will be hanging around this thread, because after two years of her living next to me I am at the end of my rope.

Lately I've been obsessing about how I can get out of this. My mom was diagnosed with dementia a year ago. It made her furious and she refuses to acknowledge any of her issues or help herself in any way. She lives alone next to me, and isn't ready for a care home, which she would refuse anyway. Her plan is to live in her condo and rely on me on her terms only.

I'm devising a plan in my mind. As much as I HATE to confront her, I'm gearing up to have a major talk with her. I'm going to tell her she either starts cooperating with me, or I am washing my hands of this entire situation. I have actually talked to my husband about selling OUR place and getting out of here. It's THAT bad. My mental health can not take YEARS of this, and it's shaping up to look like it will be years. I can't do it.

I feel for everyone who has posted on this thread who found themselves in a similar situation.
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I would love to walk away but don't think my mum's behaviour is fully bad enough yet to justify it. And she hates paying for care so the guilt would be massive. Plus my husband is her blue-eyed boy/replacement husband, so he doesn't have the problems with her that I do. It would look rather odd if I stopped seeing her and he kept going round.

It's awful but I keep praying that the burden will be lifted somehow, but it's unlikely until she dies, and it seems wrong to ask for that! A care home is a possibility, as she seems to be losing some cognitive abilities - didn't recall how an answerphone works, for example - but she would hate that even more than living in her own flat, and we would still have to visit and put up with the corrosive negativity and nastiness.
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I believe mental illness is at play in my circumstance...undiagnosed & untreated. My sister agrees. She was on the receiving end of our mother's issues when she was a child. She's older than me & remembers these things better than me. When she left home I became her target...never my brother. I've read that these types of issues become amplified with old age. It's so true. The incident that caused me to walk away & cut-off all communication was on 02/24/2020....my son's 35th birthday....so I'll always be reminded. My sister has talked to her about this at length last nite...she has absolutely no remorse...takes zero responsibility & is completely indignant. It was a "Come to Jesus Meeting". She laid it all out for her...the years of treating me so badly...like an employee...worse than. Making me her punching bag...but still expecting all of her needs to be met. Anyone who doesn't meet her ridiculous expectations in her timeframe will be met with her nasty unappreciative attitude. I pray she doesn't make my sister her next victim. For anyone taking part in this forum.....please stop & think about how you can walk away from this abuse !!! I'd there is a way out....please try to make it happen. Save yourself....we all gave many years left to try & reclaim our lives. It's not easy...but it will save YOUR life & allow you to find happiness. LET THE GUILT GO !!! I'm here for anyone who needs to talk about this. My sympathy goes out to all :)
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It seems to me, from all of these recent posts, that our mothers have spent a lifetime making us believe we are at fault in many ways. This is crushing. I'm in my mid fifties and its taken me until now to realise this and to see that her behaviour is not normal for a mother. I too am now rejecting this notion of being at fault all the time. I am now choosing to give love, kindness and compassion to the people in my life who give it back to me, rather than waste my time on someone who is full of spite and poison. Once again I would urge fellow sufferers to take an honest look at where they are right now and to see if they can start to take even tiny steps towards looking after themselves more. Think about who in your circle of friends/family will be supportive to you, let them know of your problems and see how they can help you. A coffee with a friend or a shopping trip together can help take you out of the bad situation so that you can take a look at your life from another angle. We all deserve love and respect for who we are and to help banish a lifetime of feeling bad about ourselves because of our cruel mothers.
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Struggling,

Good for you! It is better to walk away from pain. No sense in sticking around. Even for those of us who tried and tried. It’s on them. Not us. No one has the power to change anyone else.
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Hi All,
I have learned to walk away from the situation- literally- I WALKED AWAY- never look back, never went back. The freedom is awesome and I can not tell you what its like to breath again. Sure, she rips me up one side and down the other- fills my voice mails with these long story's about how much she hates me and 15 good reasons why-but there isnt anything I can do when she calls the home phone- I have blocked the cell #.
That said, here the point of my post. I did my home work dealing with her and that meant dealing with me. Who knew at 62 yrs old I had absolutely no clue who the hell I was. I discovered I was raised by someone who was delusional and found my life written on several articles/books/etc about people who are delusional. Now THAT was a stunner. No wonder it was disaster. Look into it, see if you find yourself wandering the pages of being raised by a delusional mind. Weird as it was, now that there is a name to it- it was easier to realize staying away is the right thing to do. I cant help her mind-if she will not allow help. I was just about broke- emotionally and financially trying to find this womans happy button and as much as I knew as such a young child, i wasnt the adult and a lot of this crap wasnt mine to haul around-but i did exactly that. I just picked up whatever garbage she threw and carted it around for decades. To be blunt- now that I know she is delusional I can be done. I look at it as a diagnosis and someone has refused treatment. Her PCP said she can not be forced nor can she be medicated to help, because she has refused. Instead of getting meds on board, she told her PCP I wanted her drugged and out of the picture. Check for yourself- if this helps, happy to share.
Best to all of us
xo
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Hi helenb63....Thanks for responding. I know I'm not alone....its just stuns me how many of us there are in this same toxic boat. We need to save ourselves. Mothers like ours only care about themselves....why have children? My only brother passed a little over 5 years ago. The only boy & the baby. He was a good man & left us far too soon. He could handle her...but she wasn't so awful back then. I've always been her target but have ways done the most for her. I was so afraid she would do something heinous at my son's very expensive & wonderful wedding in Charleston SC...2 years this April. She didn't..
Thank God ! But she was a killjoy the whole time. Everything must always be about her...centered on her. It's utterly insane !! Last nite I was driving back from my son's birthday...dark...in the rain...85 miles. I've done it a million times...expressways & Interstates all the way. But...this time I literally snapped on bluetooth with her. I lost my mind on her !! It was scary...but needed. She had to be nasty & sarcastic & hateful when she called my son...to not say Happy Birthday but to take him over the coals for not calling her enough !!! I had had all I could take. Never loose your mind driving 70 miles mph on a busy Interstate. Makes for a scary drive home. That was my breaking point. You will reach yours. It's had a mentally jarring effect on me....but I'll get over it. You have all my sympathy :)
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Oh, Aleta1961, we could be twins! I'm so sorry you are experiencing this struggle too. My mother is just like yours, only we think she has cognitive decline as well now, probably caused by sitting around doing nothing but feel sorry for herself for three years. Unlike you, we are too cowardly to tell my mother she shouldn't treat us this way, as we fear even more unpleasantness if we do, and as she acts OK for the medics and objects to paying for care, there isn't really any obvious way for us to get out of the trap we unwittingly fell into. I hate being a Jekyll and Hyde - the apparently docile, caring daughter who screams with frustration and resentment as soon as she's out of mother's earshot!
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