my mother has lived w/ me for 4 yrs now, i am the only care giver, 4 yrs ago i had hobbies, friends and took trips... now i do nothing. my mother drinks alot. each night i have to help her to bed. she is mean when she drinks and remembers nothing. She falls about 3 times a month. so far she has not been hurt badly. she always feels bad the next day,but wont talk about it. if i go visit a neighbor and am gone mor than 2 hrs, she is mad. She calls me names , and is unreasonable.. some of my friends say she took care of you so you must grin and bare it. others say take the booze away... other say hire a sitter...

well, i would only need a sitter from 7-10 pm because that is the time she is drunk. my mom is 84 i can not imagine taking away the only thing she enjoys in life.... plus she would detox, there are about 4 days a week where she is fine... but if i leave overnight it is bad...also i can not afford a live in.

in answer to friends who say live with it... how...... i am single have not dated in 4 yrs... when i am with friends she is mad because she isnt always invited..

I know I sound crazy and selfish...but I see my life slipping by every day....i use to smile....not so much now....

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thank you for responding...and would ya know last night she drank to much,would not go to bed, at 9pm she fell....i got her up after an hr of pulling and dragging dead weight, she apologized over and over, i got her in bed finally, then she said she was sorry and I said...first time mind u, " not good enough, sorry doesnt cut it any more"...I asked her if she wanted to go to a nursing home? I am not strong enough to keep lifting her in bed, she said no. I said then i will gather up the alcohol and hide it, and all your drinks come thru me....she agreed.... i hope this lasts.... oh after i put her to bed at 2:30 am she got up and fell again..........thank you for your is hard and it feels good to vent.....i love my mother ,but i am trying to love me too.....

No you do not sound crazy or selfish at sound like a wonderful person. I would say continue to try to find ways to nurture yourself and get away for some rest. I know what you mean about giving up hobbies and friends. Just do what you can to take some time for yourself. I don't know what to tell you about your mother's drinking.....That has to place more pressure on you, when she drinks and becomes mean. Is there any way you could get her to at least cut back on her drinking?

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