My mother-in-law has dementia and is obsessed with her looks. Help!
My mothernlaw lives with me now due to her alzhemiers dementia. I love her dearly and want the best for her, but I am finding she is spending 8 to 10 hours a day "putzing" as she calls it. What she is doing is putting her makeup on ..over and over and over again. SHe spends about 300 dollars alone in lipstick every month!!! Yes it is her money but I am afraid not only of the compulsive behavior, but there will come a time when she will be put in a home, and that money she spends on her lipstick will be needed for her care.
Im not sure how to handle this. I would love to just take it away, but im not sure that is the correct way to handle it. Her memory is about 3 to 5 mins long so discussing it with her, she doesnt remember.
Her "putzing" as she calls it is now interferring with our daily life style. I knew having her here would, but at this rate now, I cant go get anything done until she feels she is done with her face. Usually thats close to 8 pm!!! And when she is done...she looks dead!!! She puts so much stuff on, that it actually makes her look dead!
I am at a lost as to what to do!! Please if someone can help in this area, wether youve faced it or if you have the medical knowledge ...pleeeeease let me know! I want my mother n law as happy as I can make her, but I need her to get out of her room! She has extreme busted veins on her left foot due to her standing in front of mirror for hours at her own home before she moved in, now she is sitting at a vanity in her room, but still for hours. HELP!!!!!!
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This is a complicated situation. My sister and I have Durable Power of Attorney so she no longer has access to her money to spend all of it on anti-wrinkle creams and not pay her bills.
My mom is also on 400 mg of Seroquel and 1000 mg of Depakote. Trust me, I have been putting up with this BS for a long time. Do yourself a favor and RUN (don't walk) to the nearest psychiatrist that specializes in geriatric psychiatry. This will NOT get better. She cannot be redirected. This is only something that can be controlled with major anti-psychotic drugs.
With dementia and Alzheimer's behaviors, a common suggestion is "redirect". Are you able to redirect her into helping you with the laundry, grocery shopping, dusting, or? It's worth a try. Tell her she looks lovely and now you need her help. Be very matter of fact, don't fear that she will not comply, but 'expect ' her to help! As you have already discovered, there is a lot of game playing and adjusting your own perception of reality. Eventually, or most likely, I should say, her awareness will change, and this behavior may dwindle. I hope she has a huge jar of cleansing cream to remove the layers of cosmetics. Try to get her focused on other things:) Take care. Christina