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The holidays are upon us, as we look forward to family reunions and celebrations. They are a time for rejoicing, reminiscing and often reflection. But for someone living with dementia, the holidays may be quite the contrary. Family assemblies, maybe grandchildren running around, the constant din of a TV, the early sunset, can all lead to a confused, anxious, stressful state of mind for our LOs with dementia. Caring for someone with dementia at home can, likewise, be stressful for the caregiver and family. Are the holidays more of a burden than a blessing?


We know that a change in environment, surroundings, or routines can have a negative effect on someone who is already struggling with the brain changes they're experiencing. So as not to offer a litany of suggestions to better “survive” the holidays on this post, you might want to consider Teepa Snow's advice to make the celebration shorter, smaller and simpler. There are many YouTube videos that can help make this special time more enjoyable. Simply go to YouTube and search “dementia holidays”, or just Google “dementia holidays” for many other websites. I wish you all a joyous holiday season.

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Excellent post. Thanks for sharing
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What a great reminder to be more understanding of those afflicted with dementia during the holiday season.

Heck, I can't deal with all the chaos that comes with the season, I can't imagine how difficult it would be with a broken brain.
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sjplegacy, I found 12 definitions for litany and none of them was the definition given by Send. I thought your comments were on point and helpful. And you didn’t ask for anyone’s answers.
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sjplegacy Thanks for the reminder. I use to get frustrated when my older sister no longer wanted to host big get-togethers that included our father because she understood the toll it took on him. I totally get it now that I am caring for my husband. Last Christmas wasn't bad... due to the pandemic we dropped off gifts early then Facetime/Zoomed together on Christmas day and watched everyone open the gifts. I was disappointed at the time but am thinking that might be nice again this year since his dementia has progressed. Maybe I'll try to get together with our two sons at different times... perhaps one on Christmas Eve and one on Christmas. I always hated the feeling when we did things without our father and now try to patiently explain when my sons keep emphasizing they want to all be together (14 people including their in-laws). Unfortunately it is something most of us can't fully appreciate until we are in the midst of our own care giving experience. My go to phrase now is "I am the one who pays the consequences" when I am trying to avoid my husband becoming overwhelmed. I will be checking into the resources you suggested.
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Sendhelp, wonder no more. My post must bug the heck out of you.
Are you trolling to elicit an angry response? First, I'm not looking for you to say anything. My post is merely a reminder to caregivers that holidays can be a stressful time for those with dementia. Thanks for reading it. Second, thank you for your definition of litany. A litany is simply a long list of things. As for the insincerity of litanies, I think many churches would discontinue their litany of prayers, don't you think? I could cite a litany of ways to use the word in a sentence other than how you described, but I won't bore you. And I still wish you a joyous holiday season.
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Still wondering...

"If you describe what someone says as a litany of things, you mean that you have heard it many times before, and you think it is boring or insincere."
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sjplegacy: As this was rightfully a discussion thread, keep it as simple as possible.
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What, exactly, are you looking for us to say?
How to respond?
You said: "So as not to offer a litany of suggestions to better “survive” the holidays on this post", what do you want?

I don't understand....but I am willing .........
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Keep things simple. We did just six for Thanksgiving and it went real well. End of day hubby was getting tired so we came home. Christmas is a big crowd and we are staying home and keeping things quiet. End of day he gets into the Sundowning mode so we deal with it. I find a nap for him helps get him back on track again. The best thing I have found is keeping a person with Dementia on a strict routine and no surprises and confusion for that will put them into a tizzy. I give him little chores to do and he does them very well and feels he is useful. He likes and is able to take his walk just around the complex we live at which is gated. Hope this helps and make the holidays as nice as you can.
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We keep the celebration short and sweet. And we are on the lookout for clues that mom is getting tired or agitated. Take pictures early! And strive to be grateful that we have what we have.
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Husband and I kept the day very simple for my mom ,85, and his aunt ,92. Both have dementia.
We cooked all the food and ate lunch with momma and dinner with aunt. The rest of the family can visit a little at a time.
We all enjoyed a less hectic celebration and had great fun sharing some wonderful memories.
Both ladies have issues with mobility so it was far easier to go to their homes. We have 6 young grandchildren which makes for a lot of activity and noise.
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