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Not a question, just thankful that Dad made it to his 90th birthday Feb 22.


We though we were going to lose him in May 2015 when he had a massive stroke. Luckily the perseverance of an incredible physiotherapist and Dad's determination has given us 4 more years. He is getting more and more frail.


When I called him to wish him a Happy Birthday he did sound a bit down. he has been striving to live to 90, these past few years, but he did not have a plan for after his birthday. I reminder him that his step grandaughter is coming for a visit in June from NZ, but in the shorter term we are having a big party for him next week.


I have not seen Dad since Christmas and I am concerned that he sounded so down. I know he tires very easily and although he can manage all his adls, he cannot do much more. I will see him at the party and will be able to better assess for myself how he is doing.


Dad lives in a suite in my brother's home.

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Glad your dad had the birthday he was looking forward to. Even better you will be going to see him next week. It’s always good to have something to look forward to- maybe the granddaughter ‘s visit from NZ will be the next special event to anticipate. My motherinlaw just celebrated her 94th birthday. It was a nice day with family and friends. These birthdays become so precious especially into the 90s! Hope you have a good trip.
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Thank you for the comments.

CM, you are correct a party is not the best time to assess Dad, but I will be seeing him the following week too. The party is being held in the community that Dad has primarily lived in for the last 40 years. How he manages in the old house (the party is at a community centre) will give me a bit of an idea of how he is doing.

JA29, my brother is there, but as you said we often do not see changes from one day to the next. Dad does have a social life and sees the three grandchildren that live in the house daily as well as my brother. He prepares his own meals, but does on occasion eat with the family.

Dad is usually in bed by 7 pm, so watching TV in the evening is out.

SG, when I see him the week after the party it will be where he is currently living and I can 'check up' on things. As I mentioned to CM, the party is in the community where he lived for most of the last 40 years. I have already been over to the house there twice this winter and will be over well ahead of the party to clean it thoroughly before he arrives as well as warm it up. Dad can no longer manage the wood stove, so I will warm the house up a few days before he arrives.
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Happy birthday to your dad! Maybe he would enjoy something like Edible Arrangements to share with bro and family. A mini party of sorts.
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Congratulations on your dad's 90 birthday. That's awesome. I hope my dad can celebrate that one day. It's also good that he is so independent. I'd use the visit as an opportunity to see how he's managing alone and not just at the party. Check fridge, laundry, toileting, medication. etc. Sometimes, family members who don't live close by aren't aware of what really going on. Does he have family close by who can check in on his living situation?
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Maybe its "because" he hit his milestone. Maybe a little depressed. "I got to 90, it could only be downhill from here"

Is he isolated in his suite. Does he eat with ur brother. Spend evenings watching TV with him?

Your brother should be a good judge of how Dad is doing. But then sometimes we don't see what is right in front of us when we r with someone on a daily basis.
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Tothill, if you want a clearer picture of how he's doing I shouldn't have thought his party would be the ideal moment - it's not an everyday setting. Would you be able to get there ahead of it, maybe help him get ready? Have you mentioned this to your bro?

My first guess would be that he was just experiencing a slight sense of anti-climax, don't you think? Hope you find him feeling more cheerful and pleased with himself for making it to this milestone :)
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