It's more of a shock to me than a dilemma. That's why I am posting my comments to the Discussion section and not the Questions section. I wonder if nursing homes can abruptly discharge elderly individuals like this and if others have experienced this same situation.
My sister is POA and sent us all an email with the news. Apparently a conference call was set up without notice - it included the charge nurse, social worker and what my sister called "the administration" (figure she means the Director). They stated that it was time for my Dad to "move on" --- that he was not suited for nursing care and that he was far too demanding.
Fortunately we had looked at a personal care home last week as alternative living arrangements for him. Dad wants to move back home and has repeatedly asked my sister to make it happen. However, after touring the place, he told us that he was either going home or staying at the nursing home. Then, he said he was perfectly happy at the nursing home (?!). Yes, he has become more forgetful the last couple of months but certainly not a personality change.
Anyway, we had no idea that he was being difficult with the staff. I guess we assumed if the nursing home had a problem with Dad, they'd talk it over with us first --- give us the opportunity to make it right one way or the other. According to my sister, there was no room for discussion and it was an iron-clad decision without family input. From what I've read, we can contact an ombudsman (?) but I don't understand what he or she would be able to do.
Fortunately the personal care home will have an opening next week so we'll move him then. Frankly I am happy about the move considering the personal care home has a much more comfy atmosphere and it's nothing like an instituion-like setting. It's just something we didn't see coming and it doesn't feel right that a nursing home can kick someone to the curb --- at such short notice.