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I lost my job of 14 years in 2011 when they moved out of state. I couldn't find another. I have a Masters degree in analytical chemistry but went to work at the grocery store for $10 an hour. Then, I got a job where I am now, logging in samples for other "chemists" (they have no such degrees like I do). After my mother died (had to work "part time" taking her to transfusions which meant a day off every other week but no vacation time), I became full time and eventually was moved to do entry-level chemistry where I am now. Yesterday, I found out that I would finally get to use an instrument more suited to someone with my degrees. It's a big step up. No mention of a raise (still $4 per hour below where I was 4 years ago) or more time off (I get 2 weeks now and had 4 weeks in 2011). So, this morning on my way to work, I was driving 5 miles over the speed limit, and a big white SUV goes around me, and the guy shows me his middle finger for a whole minute and was really mad when I did nothing. Then, I e-mail my brother to tell him my news, and he says I need a new job. He makes 4 times what I do, and loves to remind me what a loser I am. I told my father last night, and, per usual, he didn't respond. He is in his own world; I wonder what, if anything, he is ever thinking. Is it too much to ask to have just one person encourage me instead of ignoring me, giving me the finger, or telling me what a failure I am?

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Kudos to you, Zombie. You go, girl!!!
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Whooohooo!!! Congratulations!!! You are accomplishing great things even without emotional support along the way. You seem like a sensitive person. I am too so I think I understand how you think. I think a lot of people can let insults roll off them. It is much harder for sensitive people. But it can be done! I bet your brother was never Mr. Warm and Fuzzy. Maybe he is a narcissist with a fragile ego who tries to put you down to build himself up.

It would be great if your brother could be compassionate and encouraging but it is highly doubtful he will change. As others have suggested it may be best to limit contact with him and not even tell him your job news or ask him for any advice. I doubt he would put much thought into any he would give. He seems pretty wrapped up in his own life.

If you weren't sensitive you probably wouldn't be such a caring daughter. Also, I think drivers are getting ruder. If you drive within the speed limit and don't run red lights it tends to make people upset these days. That rude guy will get his payback someday. I actually had someone behind me beeping continuously at me for driving the school zone speed limit while kids were right there walking to school.

I hope you can find a kind compassionate person to be a source of encouragement in your life. They do exist. I wish you the best!! Good things are ahead of you. Keep up the awesome work that you are doing!!
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Yes, congratulations.... plus you are in a job where your college degree fits. Now a days, one will get a new title on the door, but no extra money. As long as you enjoy what you are doing, that is the main thing.

As for the ONE person who gave you that highway salute, just think there were dozens more who didn't, who were respectful and polite to you.

Oh, I drive like a little old lady.... oh, wait, I am one :P I drive right at the speed limit. One strange thing I noticed, if I am using why own Jeep which is white, I tend to get major tailgaters who are trying to get me to drive faster. If I am using my sig other's Jeep, same model, dark color, dirt, dents, and chain hooks [he bought it that way, used], rarely does anyone tailgate me. Thought that was an interesting observation.

As for your Dad's lack of interest, my Dad is pretty much like that. In his generation women stayed home, they didn't go to college or had important jobs. They knew shorthand and how to type.... [sigh].
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Congratulations! Pats on the back. Atta girl! You done good.

I like your work ethic. You did what you had to do to make it. And so what if your brother makes more? Sounds like he is one of those abusive types.
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GOOD FOR YOU ZOMBIE ! Screw those guys. You done good and you know it!
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We call that a "California Howdy" and it is frequenty used to greet us local farmers when we have the audacity to use our local roads! Do not take it personally!!! People just have NO class anymore!

First, a pat on the back. A daughter taking care of a father with ALZ and trying to work any job is quite a feat.

Second, siblings who make fun of how much you make are smucks and should be paying for at least a week's vacation and coming to take your place while you go.

Lastly, it is hard for women in the science world to find the job we deserve. Hang in there!!!!
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First, as the finger flicking jerk, I get that a lot as well because I don't drive 10 - 15 miles over the speed limit, as is frequently common on the expressways here. Over the years I've developed the habit of not looking at drivers who honk or zoom by; they're not worth the effort. So forget about the guy.

Second, as to your brother, men still make more than women do, even though we've made strides over the years. Your brother shows a lack of brotherly support; that's a reflection on him, not you. Just minimize contact with him.

One of the neighbors made about twice what I made working on the line in a factory, where he spent nearly 30 years doing the same thing over and over. I'd love to make what he did but couldn't stand the same work day after day and year after year. It's an individual choice.

Third, as to your father, as you said, he's in his own world. He may not even have registered what you were saying. Don't let it affect your opinion of yourself.

Fourth, and here's the best: CONGRATULATIONS!!! Feel good about yourself - your opinion (and of course your boss's ) is more important than someone else's. You live with yourself everyday and it's far more important that you feel good about yourself than have the blessing of someone else.

Now, what are you going to do to celebrate?
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It's tough out there for older workers. My sister lost her job after 40 years with the same company during the economic downturn. All she has been able to find since is part time work at minimum wage, and she's still too young to retire. You have been lucky to find something in your field at all but the people who haven't been there just won't understand. Congrats on your promotion, hopefully there are more coming your way!
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