Caregivers behaving badly.

I think our censors are just fascinated with this new thread. I am sure they hear nothing like it in the convent. Oops just got myself expelled from the Forum. Bye nice knowing you guys.

How about "undercarriage" for the girls and "Penny stick" for the boys. I will explain that spending a penny in the UK means going to pee from the days when public toilets had a meter on the door and you had to put the penny in a slot to open the door.

And lady parts. How could I forget lady parts?

Self (retrieving old pink rabbit from laundry load): oh no, look, her stuffing's coming out...
Daughter (grabbing rabbit in horror): No! Don't look at her lady parts!
Self: I wasn't, I was - "lady parts"? Lady parts?! Is that what they taught you in that six-month genitourinary rotation?

I've now started wondering what words wouldn't get asterisked. Hoo-hoo? Front bottom? I'm not going to go on - I would rather everyone thought I had an extremely limited erotica vocabulary than end up sounding like a severely repressed Erica Jong.

I'll try that. I just went in the living room to eat my salad. She said "My nose itches" like it was a serious malady. I never ends! Everyone's nose itches sometimes.

I'm taking the afternoon off and going to get some exercise. I know it will make me feel better.

Yes Monty Python - look on the bright side of life - we're not dead yet!

That just made me think of what I want to say -- "You're not sick, Mom. Just crazy."

Well, on to something different. I just wrote something in another thread about my mother being sick every day all day long for years. And I thought about how she must get some gratification for it. She is not really that sick except in her thinking. She talks to everyone about how sick she is. She shows them spots on her hands and talks about the pre-cancer spots removed from her face as her new cancer. (Sigh) She tells me she's so sick she can't do anything. So if anything gets done, you know who does it. I am so sick, sick, sick of her being sick when she really is just getting old. She'll be 90 in November and she will never be 20 again. Sorry. We are all in that boat.

Feeling like a dirty doormat who is going to die before she does. I think she is making me sick.

Misery was about the most stressful movie I ever watched. Kathy Bates was exceptional in that movie.

Cwillie- my favorite Stephen King is "Misery". Talk about a brat - Annie Wilkes! The movie was pretty good but the book actually triggered my gag reflex in a couple spots.

I'm afraid they're gonna have to assign a full-time censor to this thread- lol!!!

Okay - I didn't do that! With all the troll activity and such the censors edited "vagina"? Good grief! It's hardly a naughty word!

I hated the movie version of The Shining, now the original book was seriously creepy! Loved those early Steven King books!
After reading some of the other posts by Scared the movie that sprang to my mind was Monty Python and the Holy Grail... "Run away, run away...."

Good Lord, JessieBelle! If it weren't for Dennis Hopper playing the supreme Brat Villian - I would have rather spent three hours sticking needles in my eye!

Or "I'm home!" by Jack Nicholson in the Shining. That was redrum scary.

I loved Waterworld. I liked most Kevin Costner movies, though they ran a bit long to enjoy them a second time through.

Time for a movie quote. "I'm home". ~ Enola, Waterworld. Which by the way, I don't recommend. It's a tortuously over-long, freakishly bad movie with Kevin Costner. Costner plays a man who has gills behind his ears that disturbingly resemble a v%$ina. Enough said?

This is a very old example of being bratish.(40 years old) We lived in Scotland and the family we purchased the house from moved next door into a minute outbuilding and kept coming back and collecting things they considered still theirs. One day they removed a whole tree trunk and we saw it in their back yard. Next time they were out we went to retrieve it. Could not lift it so we rolled it back into our yard. After that I went back and brushed the grass upright so everything looked normal.
That evening all hell broke loose. Hubby was sitting in the bathroom with the window cracked ready for battle when a car rolled up and what we assumed were police in plain clothes - friends of the neighbor got out. I was sitting in our living room ritualistically knitting when one of them came to the door. I slowly went to the door still holding my knitting and the man asked if "E" the neighbor lived here. I politely told him where the neighbors house was and closed the door.
Next morning all was quiet and E took my kids to schools as usual with his and no more was said.
When they moved a short time later some vegetables were stolen from my garden including several cabbages. so I wrapped up a few remaining leaves and mailed them to him with a typewritten note that just said "with compliments". E had a well known position in the small town and hubby was one of the two local Drs. Is that bratish enough?

Katie - thank you for the suggestion of the "toy" garbage box. I have an idea for our village idiot neighbor who stalks others asking if they have "picked up their dog's manure". She is married to a vet (poor guy) and fancies herself a socialite.

In other news, I am mildly and disturbingly aware of an entity referred to as a "sh** mummy." Apparently in deranged circles, there are human life forms that have fun with feces and then roll themselves in tp. I s%i*& thee not. So there is an example of what to do with old sheets.

"Scaredtaker, We all know (except Rainmom that is) that you are not exactly a breath of fresh air with those sheets, now, don't we? Lol.
How much are new sheets these days anyway? I am FOR fresh sheets, your way!"

Going forward I plan to line the bathroom floor with pheromone treated puppy piddle pads in an effort to attract my dad's urge to mark his territory ad lib.

I may have to pee on the pad first in order signal my dad that this is the right place to eliminate. Or at least in the general vicinity. I have seen cats can learn to eliminate in the loo, why not him? Then we can convince my mom that putting a towel at the base of all toilets in the house is reinforcing his perception that pissing in the toilet is irrelevant and "somewhere in the vicinity" is actually a biohazard

Mince - my dad doesn't think he is sexy as far as I know...but he is one to come downstairs to the darkside (the basement of this bratty caretaker where I reside much like Cinderella, only bugly and old) though he cannot walk or traverse stairs well...much less flat ground - WHY? Because he is a narcissist h3ll bent on proving I have no rights nor place of my own.

Oddly enough, he shows up and knocks while walking in with - the water softner guy, IT dude, HVAC or just for poops and grins to enjoy the back yard I work my @ss off in since I can't work in the front because my mom calls me a control freak (then complains that no one helps her)....so this seems to coincide when I am nekkid and walking out of the bathroom not once since I have lived here in the basement of all things colorless and devoid of joy, but over 20 times.

He screams he wont look then proceeds to sit down at the computer between the bathroom and my couch and clothes. He curses while he is on the computer. Refuses to leave the room and use one of the other 40 computers UPSTAIRS in his domain. He then proceeds to call my sister who encourages him to rant and rave about what a b^t&h I am because I "don't want him in the basement and I am a control freak". She tells him to TAKE CONTROL OR IT WILL BE TAKEN FROM YOU. She has borderline personality disorder and always vying to get daddys love.

This same man will piss with the hall door open - go into the kitchen without washing his hands - make a sammich and touch light switches and so forth after touching his own junk in the bathroom. And we wonder why mom ends up with dysentery : Dysentery is an inflammation of the intestine causing diarrhea with blood. Other symptoms may include fever, abdominal pain, and rectal tenesmus (a feeling of incomplete defecation). It is caused by a number of types of infection such as bacteria, viruses, parasitic worms, or protozoa, and is a type of gastroenteritis.

I am rocking back and forth in the closet on my haunches in an effort to self soothe as well as getting dressed. Dear Lord please grant me the serenity to - get dressed and not go bald from stress.

Ms Madge - I double dog dare you to bite off her fingernails instead of clipping them. (JOKING!)

Tacy - You are my hero!

I like the idea of labeling a box "s&* toys" and then setting it out with someone's trash that has angered you in the past....make sure the labeled box is sitting so that all the neighbors and anyone driving by the harasser's house can see it....You could actually label this box in a number of ways.....heehee.

I wonder how many calories cutting fingernails burns. Who knew you could burn calories sitting and staring. Hmmmmmm.

Sitting and staring burns how many calories ?

I clearly don't have the energy to make two beds but now short sheeting a bed is something in which I excel

So I watched phelps win gold and then went to my moms memory care facility and was greeted by her coming out of the public loo saying they're gonna kill her - hmmm

So we had treats and milk and I said it was shower time - she said you're crazy I shower in the morning - nonetheless we got it done in only 30 minutes

Since no one at the facility will even attempt to bathe her I helped myself to a half dozen towels from the linen closet and xtra washcloths

Tomorrow we change the sheets and cut her fingernails - oh joy

Send, just skipping across from the poor lady on the Lies and Isolation thread and your post-it note building blocks idea. I was trying to think of my five things, but was whisked straight back to Peg Bracken again and her table of calories burned per minute which included:

standing and ironing 7; standing and staring 4...

As I fellow creator of Brats............oops.............I mean Care Givers gone bad. I think as long as we are sticking to site rules. Apart from that, we can make rules up as we go, in true brat format.

Ya know, after I made the post I thought "maybe fresh air isn't the best phrase - given scaredtakers overall theme..."

MsMadge, Haven't you heard? There is a new Olympic event called making two beds as sport. Let us all know if there's a gold medal in it for you.

Scaredtaker, We all know (except Rainmom that is) that you are not exactly a breath of fresh air with those sheets, now, don't we? Lol.
How much are new sheets these days anyway? I am FOR fresh sheets, your way!

Rainmom, Are you sure you weren't being chased by the security guard for a bathroom rules violation? Lol.
Or, maybe you dropped some money?
Oh, to worry, to worry now. Lol.