Caregivers behaving badly.

I used to have fantasies about hiring burglars to steal my mother's 4-drawer office filing cabinet, almost immovably heavy, and packed to bursting with a mixture of brochures, old correspondence, catalogues, all our school reports and God knows what else, and the ugliest piece of furniture you ever saw in your life. The howls of protest if I ever suggested going through and sorting it, so that at least all the drawers would shut properly. "That's my life you want to throw away!" mother would wail. Sad to think that in a way it was representative - hopeless chaos, with the chaff and dross completely burying any gems she might have enjoyed. Came the day we had to move it out into a shed to free up an extra sitting room for her, she was going through 'flat affect' with depression and we didn't hear a peep out of her.

I also swore to myself that the day after she died I would have the county's biggest ever bonfire, mainly of photos of penguins. I have at least got rid of most of the bloody penguins, but here we are 16 months on and I'm still painstakingly going through boxes.

Thank God for that, Veronica! Can you imagine?!

My timer has just run out.
8/25/2016

PD, two of my family's next generation down did Psychology degrees and headed straight from those into working with children with learning and behavioural difficulties. When I asked (encouragingly, mind, I wasn't being a wet blanket) why they were interested in that career path they said they enjoyed helping these kids. I silently wondered if they'd actually met any of them. Do they keep the more challenging ones locked up on Careers Open Days, do you know?

Hey Send
It's 3:00 am r u up?

I shouldN't read this when I'm punchy - I about fell out of my chair reading thankless' tale

My mom has decided that the only way for her to stay safe at her memory care center is to be scary so when a man approaches her that she doesn't like she'll say get away from me bringing a couple of men to tears

So tonight she announces she's not going to stay in this place and frankly I can't blame her - I'm trying to walk her down her hall since her caregiver is late and there's a new man outside her door in his boxers eating a cactus plant - decisions decisions - do I let someone know or do I say Bon appetite ?

So in her room we go and since we're still waiting for lab results to see if she has a UTI I suggest we try to wash down below - didn't go over well - she's had it with me and I'm not in charge of her and it's her body and yada yada yada.

When her overnight caregiver does show up she says to her thank god your here I can't stand that one referring to me - i usually leave some lifesavers and peppermint candy in her purse when I leave so tonight I decided to leave a different treat instead 🌵

1. Remove 'dinger' from bell after Mum rang it 14 times last night
2. Fill mums bag with something in fact anything which prevents her throwing soiled pads in amongst her handkerchiefs - yuk yuk
3.Take the bloody clock and throw it away - or buy one that says the time every five minutes
4. Hire a helper and tell Mum its a friend so she thinks she isn't paying for it
5. Tell Mum Heinz have brought out a new roast dinner soup when you offer her smoothie roast dinners you have turned into soup
6. Replace the door bell for a light in my room so I don't have to introduce everyone to my Mum
7. Widen the already over width doors to about 8 feet wide so mum doesn't crash into them when going 8 steps from chair to toilet
8.Tell Mum Church has closed down for lack of attendance so she doesn't witter when she is unwell
9. Exchange mums pills for sweeties when she demands painkillers all the time - oddly enough the sweets seem to be more effective!
10. Write deceased on begging letters and put em back in the post without a stamp
You did bloody well Veronica I had to think a lot - something I find very difficult!!!!

Back to the hearing aide guy tomorrow, for the weekly visit because the new ones have a problem ( I do believe they do.. BUT mom is driving me crazy with this) My call today was "it's my weekly phone call for Mom,,, at this point it;s about me and we need to get this fixed before I bang my head on the floor" He was laughing so hard when he called me back! But I am not kidding, at this point it;s about me!! He thinks he can fix it, but if not she is getting a replacement pair! I asked!!

Yeah, Veronica! Add in the tiny small print on the check :Not redeemable for cash.

Another technique: For a spouse who doesn't have capacity, hide a very small amount of cash where he can steal it from your purse, put the rest some place safe. Don't forget the laundry quarters, keep the stash small.

Thank you Thankless!
Be a brat, Save a life!

My mom fell off the dining room chair at the memory care facility last week, trying to pick up her cane. They took her for X-Rays and nothing was broken or even bruised. No swelling or obvious problems in her legs. She has been using a wheelchair, insisting she can't walk, for a week.
Being a nurse, I know that she has to get "back in the saddle" to maintain her mobility. When I was there on Sunday, I got her up from bed and kept her standing for 2 minutes,all the while she was screaming directly in my face/ear with her mouth wide open, hollering at the top of her lungs. I felt bad but I knew "it was for her own good". I told her I was putting her in the wheelchair to go to the dining room. "I'm not hungry", she said. I took her there anyway. I told her I was leaving and, as soon as I was out of sight, she gobbled down the stew like she had't eaten for a week.
I started to feel bad, like a brat, 'cause I'm so mean with her (for her own good).

The next day I called the facility and the nurse told me she had walked to the bathroom, the nurse's station and the dining room!!! I was all a "show" for me. Damn, duped by my own mother..... and I know better.

Now, I'm GLAD I was a BRAT! ;)

Veronica you are an excellent candidate for the top brat award. Definitely in the top three.

Brat awards
1. Install second steering wheel in the car so Mom thinks she is still driving
2. Get grandpa a duplicate set of car keys that don't work,
3. Install digital lock on outside doors and don't tell anyone the combination.
4. Buy several identical sets of clothing for your loved one who insists on wearing the same thing every day
5. Fill an empty ice-cream container with a vegetable smoothie for your ice cream diabetic addict.
6. Make a recording of your voice full of Uha's, Really and Gotta go Mom see you soon for the frequent caller from Memory Care.
7. Put a set of bells on Mom's walker.
8. Put fake Money in Dad's wallet
9. Swap Mom's credit cards for ones that have expired.
10. Put fake pills in prescription bottles so you can give the correct dosage of the real ones.
There I made it to ten.
No there is one more
Print up fake checks to send donations to fake charities

:)

Jude can have an award. But we need more posts. The Brat committee will not give awards just by default. We need more entries.

Gershun, Do you find it strange that once we mention awards or trophies, that Jude wants to come back in, just under the wire? Lol.
Thanks for your contribution, Jude, and everyone! So funny!

She should get an extra award of 4 Weeks respite, imo.

Phoenixdaughter,
You have every right to receive your brat badge back. Good job! Everyone would want you to have your hearts desire, after everything you have done for your Mum.
Have you had your coffee today?

PS can I have my brat badge back please?

Crawls back under the brat wire......OK OK so I am a brat and a nasty brat at that. Mum has gone from being very very poorly - with suggestion of ministers to rallying AGAIN and now she is constipated and I have refused to manually disimpact her as per orders from nurses. So what do you do when their anal sphincter wont close? I put her on the toilet using a padded toilet seat and made her a cuppa. I wont tell you quite how angry she was but it was way past very. So I made the position very very very clear - either she sat there and waited or I called for professional help. She chose the latter and they told me to leave her sat on the commode as it has a padded seat and they would be out this morning - needless to say 30 minutes later she passed said motion and I rang them to tell them all was ok.

Well all is OK except for mother thinking I AM THE DEVIL INCARNATE.. I told her I wasn't I was just a brat!

Yes Send
My mom is a brat but that is what keeps them going

Since someone is always trying to grab her walker away at memory care I put bright pink tennis balls on it along with a bell and a little pink beanie - peppa pig - I had no idea what a peppa pig is but I thought it appropriate because she likes to eat - she likes to joke and tell her favorite caregiver - who is kinda a big girl - look you look like the piggy 🐷

Well she's had this decoration for months but it suddenly disappeared Saturday and I have my suspicions who took it so when I go to the store to replace it I'm going to buy an xtra one and give it to this person just to see her reaction and then tell her I'm going to tell management what a wonderful job she's doing -NOT

NnO, Respite! We call it respite! You did well, perfect timing, no guilt, a real good brat!

I know this sounds awful, but here goes... I'm disabled & I'm solely responsible for my Ma's care. We have no other family here in FL. In May, I used some $ from the sale of my house & booked an 8-day cruise with my youngest dtr's family (including 3 of my adorable pre-teen grandkids). We were to sail on the Disney Fantasy to the Western Caribbean. I begged my Ma to go with us & offered to fully pay her way, but she flat-out refused. One day prior to our leaving, Ma had a bad fall & ended up in the hospital. She insisted I go ahead on the cruise, as it was my first cruise ever & she knew how excited I was. I did go, but arranged for our neighbor to do whatever was necessary to care for my Ma. I had horrible guilt at first, and, of course felt like a major brat. But, I soon relaxed & had an amazing time... Mexico, Grand Caymans, Jamaica & the Bahamas!! I didn't even want to go home, but when I arrived, my Ma had been transferred to a rehab facility for three glorious weeks of someone else taking care of her every need!! I really felt bratty for enjoying it so much, but oh well... :-D

Except DDDuck, wants trophy with extra butter?
Am I misunderstanding the previous posted reference?

Gershun, You know that conversation we had about awarding 'trophies' for the baddest brats? Guess we are going to have to reconsider "hunting trophies",
because no matter how bratty someone is, they're not going to want mouse heads. ???

Cat-Hunter trophies are the worst! Nothing quite like a barely alive baby vole being delivered to your room first thing in the morning. "Wake up, human, look what I have!" :-P

My son's godmother had a cat that thought she was a very poor hunter. Aja would go out hunting in their yard and bring back trophies. One fine summer morning, she looked out the door to a small semicircle of heads of field mice (the best bits, I guess) and the cat sitting proudly in the center facing the glass door.

Should have said "had a dog"

My ex- son in law had ado while in Vet school and in their final year he and L rented an apartment.No wanting to risk loosing their deposit M asked me to take the dog on the farm. My other dog loved to hunt ground hogs which she promptly ate. The this dog belonging to my employee could catch them ut could not figure out how to kill them. Future ex- SIL's dog was fascinated but being a city dog could not get the hang of this hunting thing. One day she found the head of one of the victims and proudly carried it round in her mouth. We took a photo and sent it to future ex- SIL for Christmas in a nice frame. He was suitably disgusted. Never did like that young man.

Went into the general store in a small Scottish town to buy paint. " The saleswoman confirmed that they did indeed sell paint and then asked "and would ye be wanting black or white"?

While hubby was a general practitioner in Scotland a patient's wife called and said "Send the Dr he's hanged himself AGAIN"
When hubby arrived he had indeed hanged himself and was hanging by a piece of electrical cord looking rather blue. after the man was dispatched to the hospital M found the wife sitting in the kitchen enjoying a cup of tea with her neighbor. Turns out this was a regular occurrence but the previous time the cord had snapped and the patient had tied the ends together to repair it. Unfortunately this shortened the cord so the man was no longer able to touch the floor with his tip toes.

Over the weekend, husband and I got into discussion about paperwork for son's evaluation for SSI Disability (autism). He admitted that putting all that together this summer and making appointments, doctor evals, etc. was a third part-time, almost full-time job. When I told him that's what scared me when his mother (my MIL) said that their lawyer said their DIL (me) could do all the paperwork when needed for MIL and FIL. Husband said - Don't worry. My brother and I will take care of it. Bratty moment? I told him "DONE! and no take-backs".