Caregivers behaving badly.

That just made me think of what I want to say -- "You're not sick, Mom. Just crazy."

Yes Monty Python - look on the bright side of life - we're not dead yet!

I'll try that. I just went in the living room to eat my salad. She said "My nose itches" like it was a serious malady. I never ends! Everyone's nose itches sometimes.

I'm taking the afternoon off and going to get some exercise. I know it will make me feel better.

I've now started wondering what words wouldn't get asterisked. Hoo-hoo? Front bottom? I'm not going to go on - I would rather everyone thought I had an extremely limited erotica vocabulary than end up sounding like a severely repressed Erica Jong.

And lady parts. How could I forget lady parts?

Self (retrieving old pink rabbit from laundry load): oh no, look, her stuffing's coming out...
Daughter (grabbing rabbit in horror): No! Don't look at her lady parts!
Self: I wasn't, I was - "lady parts"? Lady parts?! Is that what they taught you in that six-month genitourinary rotation?

I think our censors are just fascinated with this new thread. I am sure they hear nothing like it in the convent. Oops just got myself expelled from the Forum. Bye nice knowing you guys.

How about "undercarriage" for the girls and "Penny stick" for the boys. I will explain that spending a penny in the UK means going to pee from the days when public toilets had a meter on the door and you had to put the penny in a slot to open the door.

I'm sure that when the Admins have let us play for a while this thread will go the way of the "pet peeves thread".

Noooooo! This thread is the most interesting one going right now! At least for me and my potty mouth. My hubby and I have a word game we often break into spontaneously - you go back and forth coming up with a word that means the same thing until one can't - then the other is the winner. Think I'll challenge him to a round on lady-parts... And yes, our lives are just that exciting.

Veronica, your post reminds me of a little ditty we used to recite when we were kids. It goes something like this:

Here I sit broken-hearted, paid a dime and only farted.
Yesterday I took a chance.
Saved the dime and sh^t my pants.

Oh my, 135 comments in 2 days???

Send, obviously caregivers needed a BRAT thread, thanks!!

I especially appreciate the part about not staying on topic. Random brattiness coming up!

It's 90 degrees and humid here and my AC is out. My sinuses are so stuffy that I feel sleepy but I know I'm not sleepy, just all congested and head-fogged. I'm in the mood to be a big, huge brat.

I'll be back soon. Nice thread!

And pee and poop and underwear jokes! Yay!! lol... Finding this thread has considerably brightened my day!!

Maybe those parts should be named the netherlands and the hinterlands....

I used to know a little girl who referred to these as the front butt and the back butt....

Dudley Moore used to call them our naughty bits and pieces.

"My nose itches" lol!!! I think i am going to die first too :(

Whats 25 feet long and smells like urine?

A country line dance at a nursing home.

Grrrr! This morning I noticed the electric co on our street, I thought they were trimming trees away from the lines. But NOOOO- they put in a street light across from my house - it shines right in my bedroom window. Like having insomnia for 40 years isn't fun enough! I'm going out to throw rocks at it - might as well since I can't sleep!

Overwelm, Was thinking about your guilt issues consuming you if you were to act like a brat. Do you need to lose any weight?


If it kills you to be,a brat, then you will be exhumed by your brat buddies on halloween

So, how about it, what have you got?

Rainmom, You never gave your son a bb gun, or a paint gun? The street light would look better I think with a blue hue? Maybe he would let you borrow it?

Agingcare staff who's job it is to monitor and censor posts probably don't read every post, by every person. They could save so much money and time by just checking certain person's posts all the time.

Maybe they are taking names right now.

Sendme - Rainman doesn't know what a gun is, let alone how to use one. But it does occur to me that "they" don't know that - and I do have my trusty 38 in my nightstand drawer. I'll just blame it on the poor handicapped kid. Such a brat - me, not him!

Stacey
Rainmom
Gershun
Send
Captain
Scaredtaker
and so many more....Lol

That's what I do. "No, I didn't get your call or your message, it must have been dH".

Now I am feeling remorse and guilt. My dH is so kind.

But it would be so fun to darken those darn street lights, yes? The neighbor has overgrown the tree so the light is filtered coming into our windows. Over the years, we have saved on night lights by just opening a window. We can even cook, by the light, of the silvery street light!

Yes, Thank you Gershun, for the idea and examples of how to be bratty.
I don't think I would have known how if it weren't for you. 😇

Took my mom to the podiatrist today to get her toenails cut - which she hates - when she asked me why she was going to the foot doctor, I replied to get your toes cut - when the doctor finished, I said gee look you still have all your toes!

Even with dementia she sneered and said, you think you're funny don't you?

Rainmom, once when I had a car headlight off center it would shine up at the street lights and put them out. There must be some sort of sensor on them when it gets light they go off. Perhaps shining a very bright light at it will put it out. I don't know how long that would last though...or if streetlights are still made that way.
I had to get black out drapes for my bedroom as the old guy behind us thinks he has to have the brightest porch light possible. It shines into other homes like a beacon...grrrr. I should send him the bill for the drapes!

Oh, Sendme you knew how to be a brat long before I came onto the scene you big nut!

So its 3:37 am and I am still not asleep. Maybe I should run around the neighborhood and wake everyone else up. Hell, if I can't sleep why should they?

Katie - thanks for the tip, I'll have to think that one through but honestly it may be easier to shoot it out - or actually get shades for my windows. Part of my problem is I currently have no curtains or shades. My house sits up high - which puts the light at an even level - but since no one can see in I don't have anything on the windows. A long time ago I read that it was better for people with insomnia to sleep/wake on the natural light pattern - although I can't say that's really helped. Plus I have severe (thanks cwillie) claustrophobia and not having window coverings does help that - for me, anyhow. I live in a tiny suburban town and I'm hoping that the light will burn out and in true tiny town fashion, no one will ever fix it. It's that, rocks or my .38!

Rainmom, I wonder if putting a tinted window film on the glass would help?