I'm so unhappy, and I don't recognize my life anymore. Mom moved in with me 6 months ago during cancer treatment, and she's still here. The issue now is major anxiety and depression post-treatment. She's afraid to leave. I'm doing everything, except emptying the dishwasher.Her constant negativity is exhausting me. I do have a sibling who's an active caregiver, but she gets to go home (lucky her).
I've had my own health challenges this year, which have been ignored to take care of mom. My work and social life have suffered, and I've gained a lot of weight. I don't recognize my body and nothing fits anymore.
What's just pushed me over the edge now is that mom is still making her own decisions. That is good, but although she asks for our advice, she doesn't always take it. I'm currently taking care of a property issue to make sure that it doesn't blow up any further. This has added a whole new level of stress to my life, but I'm afraid that if I do nothing her financial stability will be threatened. My stomach is in knots just typing this.
Oh yeah, mom is a narcissist and was abusive when my sister and I were children.
output but the 10 hours of constant dialysis is equivalent to 1 & a half hours of a normal 4 hour dial. treatment which means that he hasn't even completed 1 full treatment so it may be too soon to tell if he is able to have the antib. alone treat the Colon (Cdif) or if he will still need to have surgery & general anesthesia. The thing people don't think of is that you cannot qualify for hospice or pallative only because you have alz. you have to also be 6 months or less to death & a doctor's order. 3 months ago I tried to get him on for his heart disease because he had a heart attack 3 years ago & recovered but started having a low heart rate. I figured between the heart & the alz I could get him on hospice & avoid the hospitals considering what this hosp has done to him but no. He could not get hospice.
So, considering that this hospital since Thursday gave him a toxic mega-colon I would very much like to get him on hospice to avoid future hospital visits so he can age in place at his long term but I still will not be able to get him hospice.
What they need to do is change the rules of when a SNF is able legally to send out to the hospital & when not or the stay & care don't get paid for & the SNF has to pay a penalty for sending a patient out to a hospital when they could have treated in house or at least first tried to treat in house and also call the POA for their opinion on whether to send out.
kazzaa, The Frenchman who said, "Your place or mine?" ...he's a Frenchman... so what exactly surprised you about that?? lol (I'm allowed to make fun -- I am a Taco-Soufflé.) And as for eyes locking across a crowded room, are you going to open a nightclub at your home? :) I think 1tired has a terrific idea about online dating for you. Be choosy, take your time and screen, screen, screen to your heart's content. It doesn't take time away from home and you can do it in your jammies and nightcream if you want! :) Then get respite care and GO.
At this point I should probably post a disclaimer to be the very last person on earth to give out romantic advice. (snort!) :P Anyway, glad your baby is home again.
The very best thing about this place is that no matter how you're feeling or what you're going through, there is a whole community of people who have felt that/done that/been there -- exactly where you are. No matter how ugly or horrible it feels. I couldn't stand this place at first because everything was so real and scary to me.
My Mama is gone now. I still come back, for some reason, and still find comfort and hope here.
Hugs to all of you. You are so, so amazing.
In all honesty I do feel guilty a lot, but I know that she is being cared for much better than I could. I live 2 hours away, and she did not want to leave her city to move in with us. I go down every other week, sometimes more often. I think it is important for everyone to have a support group be it a church based or community based group that can give you encouragement. Praying for you all.
I am so exhausted! I have no idea what to do with myself now. For the last 8 months my life has revolved around mom and work - there's not been time for anything else. Is it ok to sleep and avoid people for the next week or so?