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Cat, Cote de sur.... We rented a gorgeous apartment in Villefranche sur Mer 4 years ago. If you'd like the info, let me know. It was in the old section of town in cobblestoned narrow streets with no car traffic, completely updated with a great kitchen, 2 bedrooms and A/C. No need for a car. Flew into Nice, took a cab and walked to the place. Beautiful beach within walking distance. The train station was a 5 minute walk as well. Took the train to the perfumeries in Eze, sightseeing in Monaco and then to the outdoor markets in northern Italy (Ventimiglia) for the day. Unbelievably beautiful. The girl that owns the apartment lives in San Francisco and is a sweetheart. xx Maui should be awesome. We took the kids a few years back. Stayed in Kihei, but if I had a chance to do it over, I'd stay in Lahaina.
Life is in an upheaval here. Nothing drastic, just feeling overwhelmed and sad with too much going on, and none of it very positive. I haven't posted much. Don't feel like talking, really. Just reading along occasionally. Miss you guys. I'll be back to immature myself in no time, I'm sure :) Just got to get a grip on my life. I'd love a tattoo, btw.
Joan... "romance and the runs"... OMG. You made me smile from ear to ear. I made the mistake of having whole wheat the other day. Uhh... gluten kills me. I should know better.
Dragging my fat butt to the gym this morning. Ugh.
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Oh my goodness, jude you make me homesick for the south of France. That apartment sounds wonderful. Sorry you are feeling overwhelmed and sad (((((((hugs)))))) wheat is no good if you have a gluten intolerance, but you know that. Hope the gym went well,

Sent the letter to mother, She apologized today, but the apology was all about excuses and her home care issues, her health issues, her new doctor - nothing new. I know there is no way I could act for her as POA without abuse, unless she was unconscious. She might treat a non-family professional better.

Sunshine outside today, and 19 degrees - a little above average. Think I will brave the elements a little later on.

Prayers for this gut thing would be appreciated. I need to be rid if it!

((((((hugs))))) to all
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Letting everyone know Jam's husband passed away suddenly yesterday,prayers and hugs for her please.
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Ladee thank you for passing on the news of Jam's husband's death to those who know her on the various threads-I follow about 4 now and she has become a good friend as well as you and many others. Thank you.
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seems to be the time - a friend died last night. Never laughed more than when I was with her. She could have earned a living as a stand up comic though she had had a very hard life. She lost a leg a few years ago, but that didn't slow her down.
Here's to you, JR! I bet you have them laughing in heaven already. ♥
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Emjo I am so sorry that your good friend has died it sounds like she was a blessing to have been friends with-bringing joy and laughter to others is so important-yesterday on the talk the ladies were talking about what they would want for their funerals-some people who are sick for a while want to have their funeral while they are still alive. One of our Docs planned a big party for after he passed instead of a funeral or memorial.
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Thanks, austin. this lady would have liked a big party I think. I don't know if I will make it to her funeral -5 hrs drive away.I would have to take the bus (not chancing the winter road). It will probably be in the same place we used for Gordie, and she used for her son that died, years before Gordie. This place has beautiful grounds, but is on the edge of the city, so hard to get there without a car. Her name is Joan. I met her first about 40 yrs ago - my exs cousin. and we had some things in common. My other friend Joan will have her 2nd mastectomy this month. The sister of my friend that just died will have a double mastectomy this week, It all seems kind of weird. i am thankful for my own health problerns which are less. They all are younger than me.
On the home front mother has said she understands that I have Gary now, so I have no time for her!!!!! And that is the story she will tell anyone who will listen, to get their sympathy. Can you hear the violins playing? In fact, if she was not abusive, she would have both Gary and I to help her. Her choice!
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I hear them-according to the husband I did not do much for him-while the only thing he did was feed himself and run the mouth. People were afraid to ask him how he was because 45 min later he would still be talking about how poorly he was. I am sure the people who she talks to and knows you do not believe her at all-you are right it is her choice that people want to stay away from her-who wants misery in their life.
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talk to a lawyer-she needs help that you aren't qualified to give.Be careful that your relationship with your husband doesn't get too strained also. Weigh your priorities and put the correct ones on top of your list.Sounds like she needs to be in rehab.You're not superhuman-put your own family first.
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littlekat - if you post is directed at lisa (survivor2) her mother is already out of her home, and placed in a facility. You may want to read through the thread. You might get some ideas for yourself. From what I read in your profile, you sound like you need a break, Your mum does not have to be poor physically to be placed in a facility. You could contact the local Agency on Aging, and Social Services to find out what your optins are. Good luck
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i've had brain surgery, and survived a head on..forgive me..if i don't remember names..emjo..i'm sorry for your loss...toast your friend...or eat something fun and decadent in her honor...you both shared love and laughs...you cant beat or buy that! as for my parents...i lived with them, on and off for 30 years...been running back to take care for another 24 more...my father ...will call the police, if my mom doesn't get him something fast enough..we are lucky to have enough of a break...he's back in the hospital..and again, my mom said...he's calling her, and saying how he wants to come back..this after his tantrum and calling police!! she said she feels sorry; i told her..you can keep enabling..but i'm out..i can't anymore..not good for me or my family. i wish you all a peace filled day..big hugs, marylee
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Thanks marylee - a good meal in a Chineses restaurant would do it. I remember the two of us going to Chinatown in E'ton years and years ago not long after we first met. Great idea!
I am so glad to see you write "but i'm out..i can't anymore..not good for me or my family."
You are correct about that! Stick to your guns. Usually we cannot save a person from themself.

Jeanne, I seem to remember that you were sending out job applications. I am wondering if anything is happening for you job-wise.

Lisa, you are quiet. How are the pils? Gosh that sounds like "pills", but they are not. Ray is having chemo now? I gather your DG is quiet. I wish!!!

Cat, jude, KIMBEE (capitals because I am calling). austin and all - hope quiet means life is good.

♥, hugs and prayers for all Joan
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oh so you're the joan!!! you always write such thoughtful...and thought filled comments...heading up toe see my mother, while my father is in the hospital...he called the police..so...i hope he's enjoying the attention! he's calling my mom 4 times a day....she feels sorry..yada yada...i told her..you can't keep doing this to us!! don't expect us to bail you out everytime...and remember..the calls he made to the nieghbors saying she had alzheimers...her doc telling him she's an alcoholic..and so on...he lies , he slandered her...and i'm not enabling anymore...i hope you enjoy your chinese..and i hope you feel the presence of your dear friend..big hugs my friend..marylee
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Kimbee drive by... Missing you all. Doing ok here but busy, lots of challenges and mom declining rapidly. Sorry I haven't felt like being in touch. Not sure why exactly-maybe combo of busy, tired and avoidance coping. The physical and emotional drain here is quite a bit but I am hanging in there pretty well. I hope all of you are doing well and had nice holidays. I will try to catch up w what's been going on here with each of you. Luv, kimbee
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wahhh, I need hugs! :(

My sleep therapy (for Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder) is not going well at all. It is stressful.

Last night while not sleeping I was thinking about and missing Coy. I'm sure that is to be expected. This morning I awoke with general free-floating anxiety. You know, like "omg, I've got that root canal appointment in an hour" or "I have to go to the bank and straighten out that mess," but with no event or specific worry to attach it too. Actually, I'm on Lexapro for that kind of feeling (and others) but I'll admit I'm not taking my drugs very faithfully.

I see the sleep therapist Monday. I see the psychiatrist in two weeks. I see the sleep doctor in a month. I just got a packet from hospice to sign up for grief counseling. I'm not without resources.

I just need a hug!
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Hugs Jeanne- lots of them! Feel better. Kim
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Just checked in. Been gone all day.

Jeanne: A million hugs to you. I'm hugging you and hugging you. Let me just say that Paxil is a good antidepressant where anxiety is involved. You might want to consider it and give it a try. It sure works for me. I am an anticipator, someone who is always thinking ahead about what needs to be done, etc. It was a wonderful attribute for planning trips, etc for children with high-risk and terminal illnesses. It kept me a step ahead and helped me be prepared for all possible contingencies. On the down side, it doesn't let me rest. Paxil did not keep me from being pro-active, but it did keep a lot of the anxiety at bay. It's not the answer to everything, but I sure sleep better. Sleep is always a tough one for me. Sorry about the advise, but it's the price of hugs. Love you, Cat.
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Kimbee: Glad you gave us a drive by. We are all thinking of you and with you in spirit. Sorry mom is declining, but I think we all felt that was happening. Sending you love and white light. Get back with us when you can. We understand and are here for you. Love, Cat
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Hello to everyone--no, I didn't drop off the face of the earth!! I have no idea why I no longer get the 'new post' emails delivered anymore. Everything says that I am still "following" misc. discussions (this one included) but no emails. If anyone can shed light on it and tell me how to fix it, I'd be thrilled. Either way, hope all are well and that you all had great holidays. I want to wish all of you a wonderful 2013 with health, wealth and happiness, for sure. HUGE HUGS and XXX -Punch
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PunchNJudy, I also don't get that many emails on this thread anymore either, but I don't think the KAW have been posting much lately. We haven't had a line from
Lisa in quite a while. I guess everyone is busy... But Lisa how are your PIL's?
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Hi my friends. Sorry I haven't been around. Jeanne: a million hugs to you. You have done so much for me it just dosen't seem like enough. Kimbee: so sorry your mom is declining. I sure understand the emotional drain. I can't seem to get my thoughts together. My best friends father passed away two weeks ago from cancer. He was doing so well with his treatments he was convinced he was misdiagnosed. Then a week before Xmas he started declining rapidly and passed on Jan 9. Ray is not doing real well with his chemo this time around. We took them their paper yesterday with their weekly visit with bandit :)) and his face was swollen. We put a call into dr and he didn't seem to concerned since his dosage is stronger this time around. He goes back for another treatment tomorrow and I'm finding myself hoping he can't do the treatment. Is this wrong? I don't know. I feel in my gut something's not right. Doug is with him tomorrow and he'll call us as soon as they see him. Mary hasn't insisted on going this round, which is a blessing. Whoevers not with ray pops in thru the morning with breakfast and lunch. I've gotten their meals done for the week. Doug Jen and I cooked all day yesterday to see to it. I'm finding myself a little depressed and just worried. It's a different feeling from when DQ was under my roof, but there all the same. Hope everyone is doing well. And cat and emjo, did you see the post of my great nephew listening to the singing valentine card? Isn't he just awesome. Love to all of you my friends!!!! Lisa
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Lisa I also was wondering how you were-I think everyone is pooped out-I know bad word to use here-from the holidays-I was in the black hole and did not want to do anything but got my rear in gear and started cleaning and already feel better-I am so enjoying facebook if any of you want to be friends go to my wall and will tell you how I am listed on FB my new niece in law is a photografer and puts lots of pics on.
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Thanks for the hugs!

My sleep therapy isn't going so well, but we have a little different approach to try.

In the past few days on this forum I've been called "immature," "hostile," "critical," and "condescending." Sigh. It leads me to wonder if my communication skills are slipping or I'm getting careless repeating the same messages over and over or I just coincidentally encountered several people in a bad mood. I'm going to cut back on my participation here, but I'll continue to follow this thread.

Lisa dear, hang in there! Worry and sadness seem appropriate under the circumstances, but I wish you weren't in these circumstances. Jeanne
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Sorry to hear that your sleep therapy isn't going well and hope a little different approach will help.

I've always enjoyed reading your advice and think your communication skills are fine. Take care.
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My husband has many medical including blindness.
I was forced to put him into an assisted living facility, but he got so depressed that he had to be hospitalized.
He was treated and sent to physical rehab for 5 weeks...now he is home...he would not go back to assisted living; though it was a very nice place.
I have medical issues of my own and cannot care for his many needs.
How do I have him removed from the home if it is affecting my health?
He is of sound mind, but does not want to hear any of my problems in caring
for him.
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Marcia, is there a chance you could get both him and you to a geriatric assessment, with a geriatrician, psychologist and/or social worker? Maybe more low vision rehab (like Lion's World) and technology would make a positive difference, or there might be some service that you didn't know of...or at least a third party could help present each person's point of view in a way that would more likely be heard and understood...bless you, it sure sounds hard on both of you right now!!
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Jeanne, I checked out your comments. You did fine. I had the same questions you did. Sometimes you have to ask questions, as you do, to get people to explain more of what the heck is going on. You put a lot of effort into your questions and into your responses. Don't doubt yourself.
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Hey Lisa (and anybody else in the Louisville Ky area: Teepa Snow is going to have a presentation on 1-23 from 5-8 p.m. at the Olmstead (on the Masonic Home campus on Frankfort Ave. http://bit.ly/XwwX2P
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I'm with cat Jeanne. I've never read one question you've asked anyone that that didn't make sense in order for you and others to be better able to help. How can anyone offer help and thoughts without knowing the whole situation. Lord knows I answered every question here and LOOK WHERE I AM TODAY!!! Sitting here in MY living room drinking a cup of coffee. Hmmm. Nope! Nobody yelling at me. Nobody insulting me. So please ladies. When any of you start doubting yourselves ever again. Say these names out loud! DOUG LISA BETH JENNIFER. KAW RULE!!!!!
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Jeanne I am with the other you are not the problem here -you are one of the KAW.
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