My mother moved in with me when my oldest sister dies who lived with her. My brother died when I was 9. My mother and 2 sisters have been addicted to pain meds for years. One sister comitted suicide and the other who lived with mom died when her colon died. Her body couldnt even process the pain meds anymore. Years ago I made the decision to walk away and would only hear from mom when the oldest sister drained her accounts . When she died my moms accountwas charged 983 dollars in overdraft charges alone. So my only option was to move her in. She was in the hole over 2000.00. My husband and I discussed it. We felt this may be a chance to form a friendship if nothing else.
It has been a battle since after the first 3 months. When she accused my daughters fiance of stealing her pain pills I took control of them. She is forced to go to a pain management dr to get her pain meds every 3 months. She goes in my room searching for them while we work. She accuses me of stealing her money. There is nothing wrong with my moms mind. Just this month alone she has spent 732.00 at qvc. She has spent 1000's with qvc since shes been here. Mom has copd and has oxegen in her room. In comes the worst of the argument. She smokes a pack a day in her bedroom and often dosent turn the oxegen off. Im terrified she will cause an explosion and kill us with her. When I take the cigs it turns into a horrible argument. My mother has treated her grandchildren so horribly none have been to my home for 2 years. She has a sister who will not even answer her phone when she calls. She asked a cousin if she could move in and was told no. So she informed me that I would have to have a judge remove her from my home. I accepted years ago that my mom had no use for me. At 10 years old she informed me that she couldnt believe god took johnny instead of me. I heard that for years. I would cry untill I matured and realized she was the one messed up not me.
Now I am 50 years old and taking the verbal abuse again. I hear about how fat I am and dumpy I am. I buy a new outfit and get told I look rediculous. I need some help trying to figure out how to get her out of here. I had to give her the pain meds back last week because she threatened to quit taking her other medicines and she would accuse me of keeping them from her. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Ive been happily married for 28 years to a wonderful man and have 2 beautiful daughters. We own our own home. She has her own room with a bath and never has anyone in my family not made her feel this wasnt her home too. We fix her plate every night, take her to dr. Appts, wash her clothes, and still she treats us this way. Anyone who can please guide me in the right direction I would be so grateful. I am so stressed. I cant sleep, ive gained 40 pounds and im tired everyday.
Have a blessed day
Man, that green bean can episode is vicious. I'm glad you spoke to your mil. We'd all love to have a daughter in law like you.
Don't forget what Austin said. We will be here for you now and beyond.
Love ya, Cattails
I don't know what the laws are in Kentucky, but maybe you should call police and ask if they can remove her from your home. In California, the police were able to take someone who is mentally unstable and place them on a 72 hour hold and have them evaluated.
Don't know if you can do that in Kentucky, but it's worth a phone call. Once she's out of your house, she's gone for good. You can give the cops Torri's name and the other social worker who was supposed to get back to you along with the visiting nurse's name.
Hit it from every angle. And go down to Torri's office and raise hell in person. No more phone messages.
Lisa, there's nothing wrong with you. You tried to do something good, now you are able to see more clearly. You've got the ball, you're running with it and it will get done. Don't buy any more cigarettes. Let her have a meltdown and call an
ambulance.
So sorry about your precious Beth. I hope you can explain to her that her grandmother is not to be listened too.
Putting my arms around you, Cattails.
I had thought of suggesting that you put your mom in a motel with a kitchenette, TV, and groceries and with a months rent paid in advance while things got resolved. You know, anything to just get her out, but then I thought no no, that could be construed as neglect. Not sure if it could be, but wouldn't want to make a bad suggestion.
You are doing everything right. Stay on track and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it won't be much longer for you. Love and Hugs, Cattails.
If your mom NEEDS to be hospitalized for her breathing, could you go to the appointment on Monday by yourself, explain that she had to be hospitalized, give them the financial info they need and offer to pay a month's rent to hold the room? They could then get an assessment of her physical abilities from the rehab unit when your mom is ready to leave and at that time determine if his assistance requirements are something they can handle. If this can be worked out and your mom fails to qualify due to her assistance needs, then the most you will have to lose is a month's rent. But if they hold the room, all is good.
I think you were wise to tell Torri that this is a family decision. I think I would be leaning toward the ambulance and getting her out of your house now. I'm thinking that once she is gone you don't have to take her back. I'm assuming that is true. Has that been confirmed in your discussions today during your morning appointment. I don't see how they can force you to take her back.
You are very wise not to be her guardian. Five stars for that answer. I hope Jeannegibbs offers you some thoughts also. She's got a good head on her shoulder.
Keep in touch. I'll be watching for you. Love ya Cattails.
Lisa, this will end. You are doing a good job. You have to work within the law to protect your family and that's what you are doing. Good thing you are a bright and self initiating individual. All you needed was a little direction and then you RAN with it. You have power Lisa, your not a victim. Your doing a good job.
Keep me posted. Love and Hugs to you and your lovely family. Cattails.
You are handling the delay wonderfully.
Has Mother accepted that she is leaving, one way or another? Does she show any excitement or interest in Friendship House?
I'm sorry not to see The End scrolling across the credits, but at least we know the show has been cancelled after this season!