Although there are many difficulties and challenges caring for a loved one at home, there is no guarantee that your burden will be lighter when placing them in a nursing home. You may get a couple of extra hours sleep at night if you are not up worrying about the care they are receiving when you aren't there. I believe that for every compassionate, caring worker, there are just as many who are non-caring and abusive. Recently, I heard an assault happen to a resident in the hallway outside my mother's room. I had seen this care worker be rough and unfriendly with the residents before and was very concerned about his behavior. I reported it to the authorities and he was taken off the unit for about a month. Now he is back again and I don't know what to do. Is the home knowingly putting these residents at risk for abuse, all with dementia so they can't stick up for themselves. I have asked that this person not have anything to do with caring for my mother, but is the alternative no care at all? I didn't get much sleep thinking about all this last night. What is that saying about the devil you know?

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I met with the director of nursing to find out why this abuser was back on the unit only to discover that the incident was never reported to police, the ministry or the residents family. In hindsight, I should have done this immediately myself. On top of it all, because he has seniority, he was given a promotion to cover for a women who left for another position. He is free now to roam the halls and abuse whom ever he pleases.

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