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Just in the last few days I have found a couple of obvious 'trolls' making completely nasty, snarky comments on this site.


Personally, I come here b/c I can't talk about my mom or MIL's declines and personality changes and how much it upsets me to anyone in the family and my friends are sick of it too. I need the acceptance and peace y'all bring to me and the amazing support.


When I read a completely 'out there' comment, I won't repeat any, most were just disgusting or so disrespectful I couldn't believe it. I know a lot of posters are anxious about 'putting it all out there' and then to have a rude comment left--makes them probably feel uncomfortable--and this should be a place of inclusion and understanding.


I did see about 6 comments by an obvious troll yesterday and since I was battling a major migraine, it just grated on me.


I did hit the 'report this post' and all comments are now removed.


I guess this is the new age way of making filthy phone calls to people--now they can hide behind a computer screen.


No real point to this post--let's just not fear to report inappropriate comments. They're usually easy to spot.


Personally? I have received so much support here--it helps me so much. B/C as we all know, CG is hard, stressful and often very depressing. Knowing others 'get it'---means a lot to me. And I don't need snarky, I have a VERY snarky DH.


I'm putting this in "burnout' b/c that's probably the most seen section.

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MidKid58,

Sending you hugs….I know exactly what you mean when you say you can no longer talk to family or friends about things.

I too have seen some snide & mean remarks on here attacking people and will continue to report them as well.

Some of us are here for compassion & helpful answers to our questions. 🤗
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I think the Administration is very quick in deleting what is reported. But u need to report it.

As long as there has been forums and email groups, there have been trolls. And when they are found out, they are deleted. I was on a yahoo group and a member actually stalked another, both women. The stalker found out where the other woman lived and called the cops on her and other things.
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Just a few comments about "sprays" whether pepper or bear is used for defense purposes.

One, it's difficult to actually "target" where your spray goes, especially under conditions of attack or great stress. Sprays, even when correctly targeted, also put the spray in the air around the target and often affect the person spraying as well as their target. Respiratory irritants can cause people with breathing problems (like asthma or emphysema) significant trouble, including death in extreme cases.

Two, the effects of the spray are very different on different people. Depending on the physical condition of the person and how "conditioned" the person is to pepper presence, they may not be bothered by the spray. An uncle who raised peppers and at end of the season hung the plants up in a small basement storage room was practically immune to pepper spray. I understand from some friends with military experience that special forces and some police develop some tolerance to pepper sprays too. A person on certain drugs may not respond to pepper sprays appropriately, even when it impacts their ability to breathe.

Just be careful the spray you carry doesn't have the potential to do you more harm than your attacker. In a life or death situation, you may want to take your chances, but if it's just a matter of giving up your purse, you may be better off letting the purse go. I carry a change purse with my money, ID, and debit/credit cards in a pocket on my person (as well as my cell phone) and am completely willing to let someone steal my purse, with the kleenex, epi-pen, saline nasal spray, bandaids, insect medicine, etc... (I keep a few things occasional needed for park visits with the grand-kids).
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ISRR, thanks for the insights.   I hadn't thought of bear spray, but that's a good suggestion.   I hadn't even thought of anything but hair spray - it was the first thing that came to mind.
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I think I miss the ‘disgusting and nasty comments’, because they happen and are reported promptly when I’m in bed asleep here. The ones I pick up on are the ‘manipulation that gives them their thrills’ type, that give a truly distressing story that just somehow doesn’t add up. What upsets me about those is the number of well-meaning people who fall for it, and waste their sympathy so that someone else has a giggle and feels superior.

Off the point, but I spent years trying to remember time lapse - when phone calls to the UK would work, and whether tonight for me would be this morning or tomorrow morning for them. I solved that by watching TV the night of the 2000 milenium, when the fireworks and celebrations happened first way out in the western Pacific, then Sydney, then Delhi, then Germany, then lastly the USA. For me at least, it’s a lasting memory of all that money spent on fireworks!
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GA, please do not use hair spray. If you want to carry something for protection get bear spray, they have clips available or wasp spray, they will stop an attacker, hair spray will only slow them down, maybe.

Wasp spray is good to keep around. It shoots 25' and stays in a sharp spray, doesn't fan out like hair spray.

Just saying. Cuz I don't want to see anyone think they have some protection only to find out at the wrong time it doesn't work.
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Gershun,

There have been some weather disasters here too, severe ones, sometimes more intense and widespread than normal.   Climate change is a factor, and it's not only here but in Europe as well.  It's frightening.   I'm thinking now in terms not of when a disaster here might occur, but how bad it will be and how I can prepare for it.    That's not the kind of thought process that normally would be typical of someone living in a first world country.

The increase in assaults and negative human interactions are definitely unsettling, and frightening.   I need to find a small spray can of something, maybe hair spray, to carry with me!    Fortunately, though, I've experienced the opposite in this area, which is surprising, since it's a major state metro area.

Not everyone, but a few folks go out of their way to be friendly and help.   I must have looked as if I needed that a few weeks ago when I left the grocery store. One of the greeters came up to me and asked if I was all right, if I needed assistance to get to my car, etc.    That's the first time that's happened.

I think that kind of concern may be a counterpart to the irrational, irresponsible and criminal behaviors being exhibited.   OTOH, some people just don't have any control over themselves and their behavior.   Perhaps that's just manifesting itself now.

And tech distancing by which people can assault others verbally or in writing is I think a factor.   Have you watched any of the FB whistleblower testimony?

I think mental health systems need to be addressed more seriously, in the US too, especially at the community level.   But I think that to do so would require more politicians to have vested interests.   It appears as though some of them are behaving in manners indicative of mental health disturbance, but they're getting away with it.
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It’s their kind of fun, just like dealing with a naughty child try to ignore any bad behavior and only award good behavior even. Trolls soon get bored when they are not given any attention.
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The only productive way for forum participants to deal with trolls is to never respond or make any comments to their posts, not even indirectly, only what is necessary to report to admin. To a troll, negative attention is better than no attention. This is called "extinguishing" the behavior. Silence to their provocations is like throwing a wet blanket on their pathetic flames.
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I still wish there was a way to report someone and have them blocked and /or censured immediately. Seems that should be possible.
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Gershun makes a good point about frustration. I think we all experience frustration. There’s a part of me that would like to jump in, comment and argue, but it would do no good. There are people that I would never agree with but I scan their comments and scroll on when I see their names.
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I missed the troll and their comments. I don't let them bother me but if they bother others on here then its a problem. All we can do is report them and hope they go away forever.

I think that there are more and more frustrated people in the world today. What with the neverending covid etc. Here where I live in British Columbia, Canada we've been having disasters due to climate change quite frequently now. A town named Lytton was literally destroyed because of the fires in the summer and this week another town named Merrit was destroyed due to flooding. Top it all off with stranger assaults which the police reported on the news just recently are averaging about 4 a day. Can you imagine? You are just going about your day and you get assaulted by a stranger? They run the gamut of a coffee shop employee having hot coffee thrown in her face to a chinese person being pushed from behind into the road. This is due in part to the mental health care system in our Province lacking funds or resources and also the never ending drug problem.

So sorry for the rant but I'm never surprised when a troll arrives on this site to cause damage. It's par for the course.
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Thanks to the admins for looking out for us and making this a safe place.
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Geaton777, and CWillie, I believe that trolls can be blocked through blockage of their ISP.  Or the Admins can report the troll's activity to the ISP; it may delete the account, and block further activity, or cancel the person's service,  as from my understanding it has the ability to do so.

Look at some of your emails and skim through the data included by accessing the "view source" option.    I used to be able to identify ISPs when I used MS  XP Pro.   It was very easy to report troll mail then.   I'm sure there's a better way to find out your own ISP,  just to see what it is, but I don't know of that better way, and honestly don't find wandering through lines and lines of data pleasurable.

Send, I doubt that leaving any comment of mine would affect the troll one way or another.  These people do this for reasons that I don't understand, sometimes it's to be playful (as I surmised in addressing "sock puppets"sometime ago).   Sometimes it's b/c of negative personality traits that manifest in offensive ways.  And I'm sure there are a lot of other reasons.    I think their high points are in coming back to see what others have written, or perhaps just in initially being obnoxious.  Or it may be the manipulation that gives them their thrills.

CWillie "hits the nail on the head".  The people who do this don't care about others or who they may hurt or insults.   Trolling of the manner seen yesterday and on other days to me reflects emotional disturbances and antisocial behavior.   That requires more than just being deleted.   It requires psychological or psychiatric intervention.  I doubt if trolls really care about becoming normal again.
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People have been banished by the Admins but that won't stop the determined troublemakers, it's easy to just come back with a new email and user name.
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I don't know about others but I left a brief "assessment" for Sussy on his/her/its PM. I'm hoping the admin deletes not only their posts but their account as well and then bans them (not sure if that's possible).
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Thankyou for posting! We all hear enough grating, unsolicited comments in our daily lives dealing with individual circumstances and here should be a safe space.
As my mum would say..." opinion does not make you right"!
Much understanding my friend
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I reported 5 or 6 troll posts yesterday. I think Jo Ann’s right about losing a member. Person who recommended AC to me hasn’t posted for awhile, but I’m not sure of screen name so maybe not.
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We lost a new member, I think, the other day. A comment was made to her post and I replied to that comment. The new person PMd me thanking me. When I went to respond to her, there was no reply area. What a shame.

A forum is like everything else, different personalities. And the nasty ones u ignore.
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I also reported on the troll yesterday.

It seems like the moderators were quick to delete the trashy comments.

I would have lost part of my mind, if not for this group. So thankful for you all.
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Thank you Midkid, for starting this post.
I did have something to say, however, I do not want to belabor the point.

When CWillie reminded us all to "DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS", I went to sleep.

GA is also great at identifying trolls, and reporting. Something different was tried by GA this time. A link to the troll. So what remains now is GA's comment about the troll and the links, still in blue. So, I want to ask GA, should something be done about that comment, so that the troll will not receive the satisfaction of it's existence?

I really appreciate those of us who report trolls. It is a part of being a good community member. I have even been condemned by a troll/frequent poster, saying to me: "Because that is what you do".
Last night, I was too tired and burnt out to report the obvious troll. So I am very grateful the troll was reported by others. It restores my faith in our community here, and I don't feel so all alone.

So thank you.
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I agree with everything you say Midkid, but ranting against trolls is in the same category as ranting about email and phone scams, the people who do it aren't likely reading this and don't care if they do. Unfortunately this kind of scum is everywhere today, I think all we can do is educate ourselves and our family members and report it when possible.
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OMG. That's terrible. This is a good site with a lot of great people who help and support each other. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have this group. I have no one to talk to about the hell I live in other than the people here because no one wants to hear it.
It's a shame that there's people out there who have to troll in a group like this. No one needs disgusting and nasty comments. Being honest and speaking plainly is one thing. Trolling for the sake of being hurtful to someone else is another.
I myself have reported abuse a few times from people carrying on about something completely unrelated to the caregiving experience. Folks need to keep the politics out of it too. Always report that.
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I don't know how to see if an ugly comment has been reported, but if more than one person does it, I notice the Admins are quick to delete and ban them.

Yeah, that one yesterday was gross.
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Good comments and agreed! We need to give and receive support and understanding, not useless comments
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MidKid, I also found that troll particularly offensive, low class and vulgar.  I wasn't the first one though.   CWillie spotted it before me.   And I think that enough people recognize these intrusions and the people creating them to contact the Admins ASAP and get them deleted.

"I guess this is the new age way of making filthy phone calls to people--now they can hide behind a computer screen."

Unfortunately, I think there are multiple methods through which people can exhibit inappropriate behavior, as demonstrated by the daily news and the negative and vulgar comments being made, sometimes by politicians.  

I  wonder though if the underlying issue isn't why human interaction has degraded so much.
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