At work, break time. Anyone else feel the same relief?

Unitetogether, back when I was helping out my parents, I kept my job as it was lifeline to a brighter day. And being in an office that wasn't 82 degrees.

I loved my parents dearly, but I was finding I was changing my lifestyle so that they could continue with their own. I remember my Dad asking me to retire from work to give me more time to help them.... I asked Dad if he had retire from work to help his parents or his in-laws.... I knew what Dad's answer would be and he never asked me again. I had worked too hard to break that glass ceiling only to give up my career.

My parents could afford to hire people to help them, but they wouldn't because it was my inheritance. I remember telling my Dad whenever he brought up the word inheritance, I would say "if I live to see it". I was a senior helping out much older seniors. My folks viewed me as if I was still 35 and had a ton of energy... that ship had sailed many years ago.

I don’t have a job outside of caregiving but I loved being called up for jury duty a couple of years ago! I got out of the house, interacted with other people, grappled with interesting legal issues for a few hours and then, when I was thanked and excused by one of the prosecutors, had a nice cappuccino at a local cafe.

Good times! Hope I get called up again when COVID is over.

PS I also love donating blood. It’s like a visit to a spa for me.

Unite together,
i felt the same way. When I was living with my mother with Alzheimer’s, before I convinced my brother to stay with her during the day (he was in denial), even though my mother’s dementia was not too bad I was constantly afraid/stressed etc while at home with her and while at work. Once I finally convinced my brother who was luckily between jobs to come during the day while I was at work to watch our mother, then work was almost relaxing. No more stressing or worrying that she may be doing something dangerous at home (unknowingly of course ah the joys of dementia) or that she may just leave the house and get lost. I could focus on the job at hand and as you said think a bit about my things which were mostly about my mother and her care and future. But it made work a place that was more relaxing then being at home. I felt the same way you do.

Two years ago I was caregiving for my mom and going through a divorce with a spouse who still lived in the home with me, so yes, I can relate! Work was my respite. I even loved to go in on my days off to cover call-offs! (And that was extra money for divorce lawyer fees.)

Absolutely agree with your relief about time away. Mom's phone went out and it was so peaceful not anticipating her many calls. She has a life alert necklace and good neighbors next door so she was safe. She lives in a senior community.
I often take mini breaks when she is in an agitated mood and block her number for hours at a time. She focuses a lot of anger my way since I am her primary CG or supervisor of CGs and many other chores for her.
You have to save your sanity and health!

I babysit my granddaughters four days a week (one all day, the other after school), and visit my mom twice a week, staying over as her caregiver Saturday nights. Spending time with my grandchildren keeps me sane.
The summer of 2019 I took a two-week vacation, leaving my mom in the capable hands of her caregivers. I felt incredibly relaxed while on vacation, but as soon as I got home, the weight of my responsibility to my mom landed on my shoulders again and I actually began feeling physical pain in my shoulders and back.
Yep, we all feel it, and I would encourage every caregiver to find "another hat" and some help with their caregiving duties to help balance their lives.

Oh, absolutely! My MIL lived with us for 2+ years and she was of the generation that woman did the caregiving. I had a cold with a fever and couldn’t be around her for a few days. It was a mini-vacation!

YES. I thought I was the only person in the world that actually looked forward to Monday.

A friend pointed out that currently there is no relief from work as there as been an attitude shift and lack of consideration since I have had a life or death medical situation. After over 25 years of employment the latest director decided my private/windowless space that has a door was "prime real estate" and has allowed others to use it. Prior to this she had other staff clear my belongings off my desk and box them. No question of me if this would be okay (how could an employee say no?) or if I was up to coming in and doing it myself (I was recuperating and could probably have easily done so as I had resumed driving). It is a hurtful place now where I don't feel welcome nor appreciated and I am counting the days until I can retire and be gone. I have never felt this way in all the years I have been there. I am happier, in spite of the potential of chaos with two older adults to look out for, to be working remotely from home.

Yes, I totally feel the same. I feel I am much more cheerful as a caregiver when I have the "break" of my job. :-)

When not working, there is the idea that you are "available"; somehow it is understood that when you are working, at least for that time, you are not available and everyone manages without you.

Work has been my lifeline for the last couple of years. Better when I went out to work but still an escape now that I’m WFH. I’m 65 now and could retire but struggle to work out how I will escape from being on call all the time when I have no “excuse” to be unavailable!

Of course! I think many people these days realize how much 'going to work' mattered! Too much time with even a beloved spouse, child, or elder relative isn't helpful or healthy for anyone involved. Lucky you have a job!? : )

when mom was still with me, even hubs knew I needed to work, Then came COVID,, and I really needed to work, both for the patients and for my sanity. If I had been stuck at home I would have stuck a fork in my eye!! Now I can retire, and both hubs and DD have told me I better have a plan in place,, because I am not a "stay at home " kind of gal..LOL I hope to work for another year or two.. But we will see. I really think if I retire I will volenteer somewhere

Imho, no because I was already an elder myself when I had to move to another state and in with my late mother to care for her. So I was well past retirement as my 45 year fulltime career was behind me.

Yes, I feel the same. I have a caretaker come three days a week so I can work part-time.

Totally agree! I quit my job back in 2018 to move my mom to an assisted living home closer to my family. I feel like I have been “all things to all people all of the time now.” When you are used to having your own identity and if you love working and getting satisfaction (and a steady paycheck), it can be tough. It’s also nice to have a job because it’s somewhat of a boundary for those people who try to control you and monopolize your time.

When I had part-time job last year, I enjoyed the change of scenery.

It might have been a relief, but I couldn't leave the situation I was in at home. Mom living with me, saying hateful things to me as I was going out the door. Finally the job started being toxic too and I broke from the stress of it all. She has since moved back to her apartment, and I have become more or less a recluse. I miss working.
I am glad your job is your escape. Take care and be safe.