Age 65 is when Medicare kicks in. That might be a good age to consider that one is elderly. Still, that's not elderly elderly. Age ninety is elderly elderly.
I felt fine all through my 60s. Lifetime back problems, nothing more. I wrote to our site friend Alva, who is half a decade older than I am, and asked her how she was going in that extra half decade. She replied that (for basically healthy people) she thought things started to go backwards in the 70s. That has also been true for me. However I enjoy several discounts, even though I feel a bit guilty as I was much harder up earlier than I am now! Enjoy your 60s!
What you feel like and what you are considered by "young" people are two different things. What does it matter if you are an aging senior? Don't be like those prideful old people who at 80 or 90 years old don't consider themselves old even though their bodies are practically falling apart and don't want to go into a facility filled with old people.
I'm 67 and don't look it. Not being vain, just, when I am out with the grandgirls they always think I am their mom.
Aside from chronic back pain, I am in good health and active and busy as I want to be.
My granddad dies at 62 and I thought 'that is so OLD'. OMgosh---not at all!! If they had had ways to treat HBP back in the 60's he would have lived into his 90's.
A lot of restaurants and stores now offer a "senior" discount at age 55. I mean really??? To me that's a bit ridiculous. I am a very young looking 64 and do not under any circumstances consider myself old or a senior, though next year I will be in the eyes of the government. Age is just a number and it boils down to how you look and feel I guess more than the number itself. Now that I am getting older I have rethought my definition of old as I have many friends in their 70's who are still going strong and enjoying life. So I now believe that we're not old until we hit 90. And if God willing I make it to that age, I may just have to push that "old" number up to 100.
I was taken a bit "to task" just days ago for suggesting the the 60s is young! I plead having a 61 year old daughter and being 81; I guess everything is "relative". At 81 I am happily (and very very luckily) quite vital and can garden, go on long walks, and etc. My daughter isn't even retired yet, but is so looking forward to it as her 69 y/o hubby is now retired; they will be traveling and hiking and being exceptionally active IF THEIR LUCK HOLD. In many ways "You are as young as you feel" is key. If you are genetically lucky, have good genes, have no illnesses then well into your 70s you will likely be very active and feel very good. I will say for myself that the years between 75 and 80 saw the most changes for me. I cannot take pain meds (diverticulitis) so I don't. But I do now notice the aging joints, the neuropathy tickling its way into my daily routines.
Again, age and how you feel isn't honestly in this day and age "what it's all about". For me, it is about how long you can stay healthy, a good weight, eat a good diet, exercise, stay active and interested and challenged. That all takes WORK. It doesn't just happen.
I was an RN. I laughed when I had elders put on "BEDREST" by the MD and had them respond with "NO WAY!" They would tell me they now knew that if the didn't USE IT they would surely LOSE it, that there was no way they could afford to be inactive.
Long ago they did studies on a bunch of healthy vital early 30s men and women in the military. They put them on bedrest; it was either for two weeks or a month--I can't recall. Not only did it change them profoundly as far as muscle mass, but it affected blood chemistry and bones to the extent they claimed they would not repeat the studies. They lost balance. Some has almost to be retrained to walk.
We can all recognize that we have certain genetic predispositions. Currently the thought is that we have overactive immune responses now that are doing us no good. They are a part of our adaptation to protect us from diseases, but they have gone into overdrive causing many autoimmune reactions. Guess nature will correct that over a few million years if we can wait that long.
Interesting subject, Lulu, at least to this old RN. I will say I currently am both shocked by the mirror's insistence on my 81 years, and feeling quite lucky to be able to maneuver.
In my mother's neighborhood I've observed lots of people going strong well into their 70s and sometimes 80s. My FIL is about to turn 90 and is still travelling the world, driving in city traffic... everything he did in the preceding decades. My friend's landlord is 100 and takes classes, goes to book club, walks every morning.
The odds worsen with age, but it's still the case that any of us can have a sudden setback--e.g., the heart attack in one's 50s.
One concern I have is that those who don't themselves feel old have trouble envisioning the day when they will indeed feel old. The absence of this imaginative leap shapes how they empathize, plan, vote... By they time they *feel* old, it's usually too late for them to participate in any kind of broad social movement to better address the needs of those who are old *and* struggling. The focus narrows to more immediate concerns, like how to get up off the floor.
For years GenXers told themselves that the boomers, that ever-present dominant demographic, would surely address the eldercare debacle before it became a GenXer problem, but no such luck. People tend to distance/disassociate themselves from the fallen. It's a bit like the Shirley Jackson story "The Lottery."
But I'm obviously addressing these remarks to the wrong audience, as people on this forum obviously get it in a way that certain "smug seniors" do not.
This country’s culture of trying to prove we are not old is why we have people in office with dementia . I hope I do not resist help and give my children the stress that my parents did and in laws do now to DH and I. It’s absolutely ridiculous . My grandparents were more aware of their deficits , even my very old grandmother until her dementia got really bad , and even so she was always cooperative .
This commitment to not getting old that I saw especially in my in laws is why these eldercare problems have not been addressed . And the others just assumed the children would take care of them . A couple of spoiled generations before mine . I’m a gen Xer .
My poor nephew just got told my baby boomer sister ( who made no plans and in fact spent her inheritance money from my parents on a new car that she did not need ) with probable vascular dementia per MRI and having delirium has no where to go . She does not have money for AL. The hospital told my nephew she has no medical reason for rehab or SNF . They told him to take her home and follow up as an outpatient for cognitive testing . She does need 24/7 supervision . Nephew is going to ask for permission to work from home some days . Nephew has already been giving her free room and board the last 10 years . Yours truly will be back in the caregiver saddle again driving 3 hours round trip to help nephew .
This is where we are from saying age is just a number and you are only as old as you feel .
Something on ‘seniors’ discount meals. Around here, pubs often provide them for lunchtime, when trade is slack, older people can get together with no driving in the dark, and they actually prefer smaller meals. It works well!
The older one gets, the more sudden and profound a single health incident can become.
Falling, for instance. I fell plenty of times in my youth but then one year (when I was about 60) I slipped on ice and fell hard on my IT band (side of thigh). It left an indent and started a chain of related problems.
So too, the arthritis and cartilage loss in my knees. Age is speeding up that decline and its impact.
I'm truly happy for you that you don't feel like a senior. I didn't either until the aforementioned problems. My 94-yr old Mom wasn't having problems until her mid 80s. The 100-yr old Dad of my friend was still working part time at a paint shop up until he was 99 and was going fishing up into Canada with friends until he had a fall, after which things rapidly went south for him. We just can't rebound as well as we age.
In response to Geaton’s post. So true about how profound an incident can be. My in laws do not understand that . They think doctors can fix everything . They are in shock whenever one of their 90+ year old friends die of pneumonia or any infection or after a broken hip . They’ve had this attitude forever .
Geaton's right. At 62 I was newly retired, we were building a second little home in the country, I was fencing and weedwhipping one acre fenced while maintain 6 other acres in poison oak management and hedgerows for wildlife. I was hiking and camping and traveling, and falling all over the place out of oak trees, sliding on oak leaves. GREAT FUN. Hauling and chopping wood, burn piles and all that goes with it. We had 15 years in that wonderful place when it became clear at 76 and 78 that falls might actually HURT you. Who knew!
Again, to Lulu, enjoy this time. It is some of the most free time of your lifetime. I always advise people not to use it attempting to leap on the funeral pyres of their parents. Because they have their kids pretty much raised now. They are ready to soon retire. This time is for THEM.
Whatever time we are given, it is on us to use it to the best of our ability. As I said below, it's all relative. While you feel young and you have great bone density and no arthritis you feel like a kid. But there are profound changes that will naturally occur for your body between 75 and 85 that will make you take notice. That will let you know that a fall from the oak tree may result in permanent disability.
I do know some who still swim in the cold waters of the Bay at early 80s. Not for me, but some are quite hard. Ultimately, the body will begin to let one know that things are a-changin.
The ONLY thing I liked about being called a senior was the discounts at thrift stores on Tuesdays. Can't argue with 50% off 🤣😂😁😅
I didn't feel like a senior, either, even with a destroyed spine and bad osteoarthritis all over the place. Until I hit 65.5 and was diagnosed with terminal cancer. That began a very painful look into my mortality and acknowledging my limited time left to enjoy life, most likely. Which underlines Geatons statement, "The older one gets, the more sudden and profound a single health incident can become."
The moral of the story is, enjoy life every day w/o putting a label on yourself. You could have 35 more years left or 3 more days, there's no guarantee. Live in the NOW because that's all any of us DO have.
I don't care how great or how not-so-great I look now, like I did at 65, or how white my teeth are or how gray my entire head is. Now I'm proud to be called a Senior because by God, I MADE it to 66!
I am 65 and newly retired, and joined the exercise classes at the local senior center. My DD about screamed that I was not a senior ,, hello,, according to the SS admin I am! I just told her I am the baby of the group, LOL Other than some horrible arthritis I normally feel decent, hope to keep that up. I wanted to retire in time to enjoy some family time and relax,, I am also OK with the discounts...
Ha Ha. I felt like you at 60. Worked until 72 and still feel strong and young in my mind. I laugh because recently my husband and I joined the local senior center which we long avoided because we never felt like seniors. “Those OLD people”. Well, I am very sorry we didn’t joins sooner. Met new people, parties and dancing. Check out “senior stuff” and like AARP (55+) maybe you will find people just like you.
I can remember answering this question back in my high school sociology class, I said 65 because if that age was good enough for the government it was good enough for me. 🤣 But seriously, once we reach middle age "old" is always 10 years older than your current age!
An injury sure changed the youthful perspective I took for granted. I didn’t feel like a senior until I destroyed both knees. (to be replaced) I can still skate but, if I fall, it takes me several seconds to get up. Giving up hockey (temporarily?) makes me feel old, fat, unfit and frustrated. But I haven’t given up.
Hitting 50 sure drove the point home that I don’t bounce back the way I used to. I hate being crunchy.
I now enjoy such conveniences as an electric log splitter. Lifting with arm straps. Using a dolly. Hiking/walking instead of running. Holding the handrail on stairs.
So glad my health is good and the rest of me still feels like a junior.
I'm a stickler for details and I was an English major - so for me word choices matter - a lot.
Words paint a picture. So you have "official" definitions - or "legal" definitions. To qualify for Medicare you have to be at least 65. That indicates that you have reached the age in the US where you are considered "senior" - qualified to collect Social Security.
Beyond that - it is honestly "in the eye of the beholder" to be fair.
Merriam-Webster defines "senior" simply as "a person who is older than another", "elderly" as "rather old, especially being past middle age" and "aging" as "the process of growing older"
None of those really puts a number on ANYTHING. So in other words...age is in the eye of the beholder.
To a 15-year old I'm quite sure I'm a senior lol - but pretty much anyone over the age of 40 is a senior. To a 30-year old I think 60 is a senior. Now that I'm in my 50s, while I know logically I will qualify for senior discounts soon and AARP has already come a calling - 65 doesn't seem that old. Heck 75 doesn't seem that old. I work with a lady that is my mom's age. She runs CIRCLES around our 20-something team members.
At this stage in my life - I'm willing to admit that my 97 year old grandmother is elderly. Not just because of her age, but because life has finally caught up with her. A couple of years ago - I didn't even feel that way about her. My 90 year old FIL is elderly. My 76 year old mom- no where close. My 76 year old coworker - nowhere close.
Age is a number. There are other factors that go into making someone elderly in my opinion.
I don't think I will actually start to feel old until my parents have both passed away. I am turning 60 next month.
My father is 81, and sorta had to argue with the TSA agent this morning when he didn't want to take his shoes off at the Security Checkpoint. He looks that good!
My mother, on the other hand, will be 3 years in Memory Care as of next month. She's deeeeep into it.
Like previous posters said, sometimes, it's the luck of the draw, and genetics that has has us feeling old or not.
Senior starts 60-65 But, I'm hardcore and point out that humans have 3 actual stages..Young, Middle Aged, and Old. people live to about 75 (for easy math) so, divide by 3 and you get young=up to 24 (childhood is included) Mid Aged=25-49 (most productive) people freak on this one the most because they don't want to count childhood as young...weird. Old = 50-75 (includes elderly) Over 75? I call ancient. lol
Cashew - but life expectancy is higher than 75 (at least it is here in Canada), and the number of nonagenarians is increasing all the time. My one friend still kids me about the time I was asked how old my mom was and I apparently said she was ancient and too ***ing old. (she died at 99)
I would like to reiterate what others have said about what age young people feel is old. I certainly felt like anyone over 30 was old when I was young! Hahaha 🤣.
Our second child was born when I was 40. We had struggled for years with infertility.
We adopted our first child. I was 33 when we bought her home. Seven years later we were shocked that I became pregnant without any help from my fertility specialist.
I’m trying to remember when I started getting gray hair. I know that I colored my hair for years!
I grew tired of coloring my hair and my youngest daughter said to me, “Mom, your roots are showing! Please color your hair because I don’t want the kids at school to think that you’re my grandmother! LOL 😆
My oldest daughter didn’t care whether my hair was gray or not. My youngest daughter is our little diva!
So, when my youngest daughter entered college I told her that I was done with coloring my hair. She was fine with my gray hair by that time.
At age 68, my hair is just about all silver. I’m happy not to be coloring it.
The woman who lived next door to me when I was growing up never let her hair grow gray.
My neighbor continued to dye her hair blonde well into her 90’s! In fact, she was so vain that she didn’t even tell her doctor how old she was. She said that it was none of his business! LOL 😆
It’s a personal choice really. I don’t care if people dye or don’t dye their hair, have cosmetic surgery or whatever.
I am curious if gray hair makes anyone here feel older?
Although some stores, restaurants, theatres etc, give discounts for 60 or 62 and over . Why not take the discount ?
At 60 a person has more years behind them than ahead. Not sure if that puts things in perspective for you or not.
Eat well, exercise and enjoy your life! Chances are that you will live for many more years to come.
She said she preferred to use her student ID for discounts.😉
Happy Birthday Lulu.
I'm active, have a part time job as a private caregiver for a lady with dementia. I walk at least 7000 steps a day and wear a size 2.
I will be eligible for Medicare next year. Goodie goodie. I'll go thru the process, get my extra health insurance. Doesn't mean I'm old.
Don't let numbers define you. Let your heart lead the way.
The change in care is mind boggling. As if a birthday somehow makes a healthy, active person NOT.
Aside from chronic back pain, I am in good health and active and busy as I want to be.
My granddad dies at 62 and I thought 'that is so OLD'. OMgosh---not at all!! If they had had ways to treat HBP back in the 60's he would have lived into his 90's.
I am a very young looking 64 and do not under any circumstances consider myself old or a senior, though next year I will be in the eyes of the government.
Age is just a number and it boils down to how you look and feel I guess more than the number itself.
Now that I am getting older I have rethought my definition of old as I have many friends in their 70's who are still going strong and enjoying life.
So I now believe that we're not old until we hit 90. And if God willing I make it to that age, I may just have to push that "old" number up to 100.
I plead having a 61 year old daughter and being 81; I guess everything is "relative".
At 81 I am happily (and very very luckily) quite vital and can garden, go on long walks, and etc.
My daughter isn't even retired yet, but is so looking forward to it as her 69 y/o hubby is now retired; they will be traveling and hiking and being exceptionally active IF THEIR LUCK HOLD.
In many ways "You are as young as you feel" is key. If you are genetically lucky, have good genes, have no illnesses then well into your 70s you will likely be very active and feel very good.
I will say for myself that the years between 75 and 80 saw the most changes for me. I cannot take pain meds (diverticulitis) so I don't. But I do now notice the aging joints, the neuropathy tickling its way into my daily routines.
Again, age and how you feel isn't honestly in this day and age "what it's all about". For me, it is about how long you can stay healthy, a good weight, eat a good diet, exercise, stay active and interested and challenged. That all takes WORK. It doesn't just happen.
I was an RN. I laughed when I had elders put on "BEDREST" by the MD and had them respond with "NO WAY!" They would tell me they now knew that if the didn't USE IT they would surely LOSE it, that there was no way they could afford to be inactive.
Long ago they did studies on a bunch of healthy vital early 30s men and women in the military. They put them on bedrest; it was either for two weeks or a month--I can't recall.
Not only did it change them profoundly as far as muscle mass, but it affected blood chemistry and bones to the extent they claimed they would not repeat the studies. They lost balance. Some has almost to be retrained to walk.
We can all recognize that we have certain genetic predispositions. Currently the thought is that we have overactive immune responses now that are doing us no good. They are a part of our adaptation to protect us from diseases, but they have gone into overdrive causing many autoimmune reactions. Guess nature will correct that over a few million years if we can wait that long.
Interesting subject, Lulu, at least to this old RN. I will say I currently am both shocked by the mirror's insistence on my 81 years, and feeling quite lucky to be able to maneuver.
The odds worsen with age, but it's still the case that any of us can have a sudden setback--e.g., the heart attack in one's 50s.
One concern I have is that those who don't themselves feel old have trouble envisioning the day when they will indeed feel old. The absence of this imaginative leap shapes how they empathize, plan, vote... By they time they *feel* old, it's usually too late for them to participate in any kind of broad social movement to better address the needs of those who are old *and* struggling. The focus narrows to more immediate concerns, like how to get up off the floor.
For years GenXers told themselves that the boomers, that ever-present dominant demographic, would surely address the eldercare debacle before it became a GenXer problem, but no such luck. People tend to distance/disassociate themselves from the fallen. It's a bit like the Shirley Jackson story "The Lottery."
But I'm obviously addressing these remarks to the wrong audience, as people on this forum obviously get it in a way that certain "smug seniors" do not.
I hope I do not resist help and give my children the stress that my parents did and in laws do now to DH and I. It’s absolutely ridiculous . My grandparents were more aware of their deficits , even my very old grandmother until her dementia got really bad , and even so she was always cooperative .
This commitment to not getting old that I saw especially in my in laws is why these eldercare problems have not been addressed . And the others just assumed the children would take care of them . A couple of spoiled generations before mine . I’m a gen Xer .
My poor nephew just got told my baby boomer sister ( who made no plans and in fact spent her inheritance money from my parents on a new car that she did not need ) with probable vascular dementia per MRI and having delirium has no where to go . She does not have money for AL. The hospital told my nephew she has no medical reason for rehab or SNF . They told him to take her home and follow up as an outpatient for cognitive testing . She does need 24/7 supervision . Nephew is going to ask for permission to work from home some days . Nephew has already been giving her free room and board the last 10 years .
Yours truly will be back in the caregiver saddle again driving 3 hours round trip to help nephew .
This is where we are from saying age is just a number and you are only as old as you feel .
Falling, for instance. I fell plenty of times in my youth but then one year (when I was about 60) I slipped on ice and fell hard on my IT band (side of thigh). It left an indent and started a chain of related problems.
So too, the arthritis and cartilage loss in my knees. Age is speeding up that decline and its impact.
I'm truly happy for you that you don't feel like a senior. I didn't either until the aforementioned problems. My 94-yr old Mom wasn't having problems until her mid 80s. The 100-yr old Dad of my friend was still working part time at a paint shop up until he was 99 and was going fishing up into Canada with friends until he had a fall, after which things rapidly went south for him. We just can't rebound as well as we age.
So true about how profound an incident can be. My in laws do not understand that . They think doctors can fix everything . They are in shock whenever one of their 90+ year old friends die of pneumonia or any infection or after a broken hip . They’ve had this attitude forever .
Again, to Lulu, enjoy this time. It is some of the most free time of your lifetime. I always advise people not to use it attempting to leap on the funeral pyres of their parents. Because they have their kids pretty much raised now. They are ready to soon retire. This time is for THEM.
Whatever time we are given, it is on us to use it to the best of our ability. As I said below, it's all relative. While you feel young and you have great bone density and no arthritis you feel like a kid. But there are profound changes that will naturally occur for your body between 75 and 85 that will make you take notice. That will let you know that a fall from the oak tree may result in permanent disability.
I do know some who still swim in the cold waters of the Bay at early 80s. Not for me, but some are quite hard. Ultimately, the body will begin to let one know that things are a-changin.
I didn't feel like a senior, either, even with a destroyed spine and bad osteoarthritis all over the place. Until I hit 65.5 and was diagnosed with terminal cancer. That began a very painful look into my mortality and acknowledging my limited time left to enjoy life, most likely. Which underlines Geatons statement, "The older one gets, the more sudden and profound a single health incident can become."
The moral of the story is, enjoy life every day w/o putting a label on yourself. You could have 35 more years left or 3 more days, there's no guarantee. Live in the NOW because that's all any of us DO have.
I don't care how great or how not-so-great I look now, like I did at 65, or how white my teeth are or how gray my entire head is. Now I'm proud to be called a Senior because by God, I MADE it to 66!
Hitting 50 sure drove the point home that I don’t bounce back the way I used to. I hate being crunchy.
I now enjoy such conveniences as an electric log splitter. Lifting with arm straps. Using a dolly. Hiking/walking instead of running. Holding the handrail on stairs.
So glad my health is good and the rest of me still feels like a junior.
Lulu, set your own pace and keep them guessing.
Words paint a picture. So you have "official" definitions - or "legal" definitions. To qualify for Medicare you have to be at least 65. That indicates that you have reached the age in the US where you are considered "senior" - qualified to collect Social Security.
Beyond that - it is honestly "in the eye of the beholder" to be fair.
Merriam-Webster defines "senior" simply as "a person who is older than another", "elderly" as "rather old, especially being past middle age" and "aging" as "the process of growing older"
None of those really puts a number on ANYTHING. So in other words...age is in the eye of the beholder.
To a 15-year old I'm quite sure I'm a senior lol - but pretty much anyone over the age of 40 is a senior. To a 30-year old I think 60 is a senior. Now that I'm in my 50s, while I know logically I will qualify for senior discounts soon and AARP has already come a calling - 65 doesn't seem that old. Heck 75 doesn't seem that old. I work with a lady that is my mom's age. She runs CIRCLES around our 20-something team members.
At this stage in my life - I'm willing to admit that my 97 year old grandmother is elderly. Not just because of her age, but because life has finally caught up with her. A couple of years ago - I didn't even feel that way about her. My 90 year old FIL is elderly. My 76 year old mom- no where close. My 76 year old coworker - nowhere close.
Age is a number. There are other factors that go into making someone elderly in my opinion.
Do you remember the first time that you were called mam?
I do! I remember feeling very old the first time I heard it. LOL 😆
My father is 81, and sorta had to argue with the TSA agent this morning when he didn't want to take his shoes off at the Security Checkpoint. He looks that good!
My mother, on the other hand, will be 3 years in Memory Care as of next month. She's deeeeep into it.
Like previous posters said, sometimes, it's the luck of the draw, and genetics that has has us feeling old or not.
This is a fun conversation.
Thankful for you all!
But, I'm hardcore and point out that humans have 3 actual stages..Young, Middle Aged, and Old.
people live to about 75 (for easy math) so, divide by 3 and you get
young=up to 24 (childhood is included)
Mid Aged=25-49 (most productive) people freak on this one the most because they don't want to count childhood as young...weird.
Old = 50-75 (includes elderly)
Over 75? I call ancient. lol
My one friend still kids me about the time I was asked how old my mom was and I apparently said she was ancient and too ***ing old. (she died at 99)
Our second child was born when I was 40. We had struggled for years with infertility.
We adopted our first child. I was 33 when we bought her home. Seven years later we were shocked that I became pregnant without any help from my fertility specialist.
I’m trying to remember when I started getting gray hair. I know that I colored my hair for years!
I grew tired of coloring my hair and my youngest daughter said to me, “Mom, your roots are showing! Please color your hair because I don’t want the kids at school to think that you’re my grandmother! LOL 😆
My oldest daughter didn’t care whether my hair was gray or not. My youngest daughter is our little diva!
So, when my youngest daughter entered college I told her that I was done with coloring my hair. She was fine with my gray hair by that time.
At age 68, my hair is just about all silver. I’m happy not to be coloring it.
The woman who lived next door to me when I was growing up never let her hair grow gray.
My neighbor continued to dye her hair blonde well into her 90’s! In fact, she was so vain that she didn’t even tell her doctor how old she was. She said that it was none of his business! LOL 😆
It’s a personal choice really. I don’t care if people dye or don’t dye their hair, have cosmetic surgery or whatever.
I am curious if gray hair makes anyone here feel older?