NHWM, on my, the purple hair! You were just trendsetting before it was time. Around here, when I see a lady with purple hair, I think to myself, "She must be a die-hard Ravens fan."
NeedHelpWithMom, ah the dreaded "Ma'am!" LOL. Because I live in the South, it probably wasn't as much of a shock to my system because we lean heavy on the "yes, ma'am" or "no, ma'am". BUT I do distinctly remember the VERY first time that a doctor "ma'am'd" me. And there is most certainly a difference.
First of all - he looked all of 12-years-old and I was already secretly calling him "Dr. Doogie" in my head - and he was probably young enough that the reference would have gone right over his head. He was my eye doctor and it was our very first time meeting. He was incredibly sweet and I liked him right away.
However - he quite literally called me "Ma'am" and told me that I needed PROGESSIVES in the same sentence. Dear God man what are you doing???
I smiled sweetly and said "I really like you, so I'm going to give you a life lesson." He started laughing. "Please, whatever you do...please don't ever call another woman ma'am in the same sentence that you tell her she needs progressive lenses." He really laughed and said "I'll try to remember that. You have a point."
I know deep down he was honestly just trying to be polite and respectful, but something about hearing ma'am with the eyewear of my people just hit me like a gut punch!
We are the same age. I love my silver hair. My mom started out with silver but as she aged her hair turned a beautiful snow white. Her hair stylist always told her that she could have been a hair model.
My grandmother also had white hair. My grandfather and my dad’s hair was silver
One time I wanted to try a different shade and my hair came out purple! 🤣. I had to attend my daughter’s play with purple hair!
My hair started turning gray when I was 45. I've always embraced it and loved it. I've never colored it. I like the color of my hair.
That said, I am 68 and still waiting to grow up. I feel like I have so much life ahead of me yet to live, places I want to go, things I want to do. I'm healthy (just overweight, but been that since the 80s). I can't live an active lifestyle right now because of my husband's needs. I've never lived on my own (unless you consider college living on your own). I've never gotten up in the morning without having to consult with someone else about my plans for the day. I look forward to growing up and I grow old, and as of right now, I am not old!
My husband was carded when he was starting to get gray hair. Same thing as you, he was purchasing a bottle of wine for us to have for dinner.
My response was, “Did you hug and kiss the cashier for thinking that you were younger? LOL 😆
He said that he looked at the cashier and said, “You’ve got to be kidding! Don’t you see my gray hair?” He was in his 40’s.
She replied saying that she sold liquor to a teenage girl who looked much older than she was and got into trouble with her boss, so now she was carding everyone! 😃
Gosh, I remember when my friend’s parents would send their kids to the store to buy cigarettes for them. No one thought anything of it. Now cigarettes aren’t sold to kids anymore for parents and grandparents.
Taking a kid to buy liquor…well, there are neighborhood bars that I have seen people take their kids to because they are picking up sandwiches for lunch. Some bar and grills have great sandwiches. The owners don’t tell them anything about their kids.
We can buy wine, beer and liquor in our grocery stores here in New Orleans. We have drive through Daiquiri bars too! 🤣
My oldest daughter’s insurance went down when she lived Birmingham, Alabama. The agent said our rates were higher because of our drinking laws.
Getting carded when 32 was the best !!! Lol. I stopped in a liquor store next to the grocery store quick , the day before Thanksgiving , for a bottle of wine for my Dad . I had my baby on my hip too . 😂😂🙄. I said to the cashier “ really ? I’m 32 with a baby in my arms . “. The guy said that people borrow a baby to trick me into thinking they are older so they could avoid being carded in here. Where were they getting babies to borrow ??🤷♀️🤷♀️ I went home and told DH , his response was “ you took the baby in the liquor store ?”. 😬🤔.
Technically we are all "aging" we begin aging the moment we are born (or some my say at conception but not going to get into that) and stop aging the moment we die. Now the "senior" definition is a bit difficult. I think the general definition is 62 or older. Medicare can be started at 65. Stores and other places that give discounts often use 65.
I think there are Young 65's and I think there are Old 65's I do not dwell on the number.
I think there is a difference between a 65 year old person now and a 65 year old person 40 years ago. We are aging differently, more slowly if that makes sense. The best thing you can do for yourself is to keep active, be proactive. Make sure that all your "stuff" is organized. Healthcare wishes, legal matters, have things written so that family can find what is needed when it is needed. And enjoy the life you have, do not put off some of the things you want to do. As we know from being caregivers you never know what is going to happen. And as caregivers, make things easy for the people that are in your life, the ones that may one day be your caregiver. And if you do not want to put family in that position make plans NOW.
I wonder what percentage of products are marketed towards the aging population.
My mom had certain catalogs that were geared towards the elderly. She had that tool to help her button up her blouses. She used it for awhile until her Parkinson’s disease progressed further.
Tons of products are produced at the other end of the spectrum too. People spend a fortune on baby products too.
Msblcb,
Yep, we were taught to say it.
I did feel old the first time someone said it to me because I was carded to get into bars until my late 20’s.
We could legally drink at 18 in New Orleans. Later on the drinking age was changed to 21. I always went to clubs to hear music with my friends.
My aunt would pay the child’s price ticket for me at the movies when I was 15! LOL 😆 She said that she was saving money and that I could pass for a 12 year old which I did because I was tiny.
In regards to “mam”…my mother made me say “Yes mam” “Yes Sir” to anyone that was my elder. A sign of respect. I am now 64 and find myself saying “mam” and “sir” to anyone I SUSPECT is my elder. My husband told me that I am saying “mam” and “sir” to folks younger than me. I guess that is my southern heritage,
True, Katherine Hepburn did like pants as well. Loved her look! Great actress too. So many wonderful actresses in that era. Mom and I always loved watching Bette Davis movies together.
Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte was a favorite of ours. It was filmed in Louisiana, not far from New Orleans at Houma’s House plantation. Bette Davis bought beautiful candle operas for the dining room table as a parting gift. If you tour the plantation you will see them proudly displayed.
I have several oil paintings of the beautiful plantation homes. My husband’s grandmother was an incredible artist. She did beautiful paintings of our magnolias, swamp scenes, local architecture, etc. Her art hangs in various places throughout New Orleans.
It’s funny to listen to interviews from actors/actresses who worked during this era. Barbara Eden said that her belly button couldn’t show in the costume she wore for I Dream of Jeannie.
Cwillie, we regularly have young male Mormons in pairs knocking on our doors trying to convert. They are by far the most common Americans here. They always say ‘sir’ and ‘mam’, irrespective of age. It doesn’t increase their conversion success rate!
Need, I heard it was Katherine Hepburn who made pants all the thing. My Mom wore them in the 30s and 40s, kind of baggy gaberdines. They were pretty. She was quite the fashion plate unlike me in my Levis and wrangler. I have one black knit skirt. Poor thing has to go EVERYWHERE. Weddings, Funerals, parties. Good thing I don't attend many of them or it would wear out. I did have a few of those according tiny pleated flower skirts I could twist into a ball when I went to europe. Below the knee length. They were good travelers.
So, I find this funny. We think of the 60’s as the progressive and rebellious era. You know, burning bras and everything. Well, my grandmother never wore a bra in her life! Hahaha 😝. She only wore a slip underneath her dress. No bra!
Grandma never owned a pair of pants either. Not even when pants became popular for women to wear. She wore casual dresses during the week and nice dresses on Sunday for church and Sunday dinner. Everyone dressed up for church.
My mom and aunt wore pants. Grandma had no desire to put on a pair of pants.
It was the Dick Van Dyke show that made pants popular by Mary Tyler Moore.
I would like to reiterate what others have said about what age young people feel is old. I certainly felt like anyone over 30 was old when I was young! Hahaha 🤣.
Our second child was born when I was 40. We had struggled for years with infertility.
We adopted our first child. I was 33 when we bought her home. Seven years later we were shocked that I became pregnant without any help from my fertility specialist.
I’m trying to remember when I started getting gray hair. I know that I colored my hair for years!
I grew tired of coloring my hair and my youngest daughter said to me, “Mom, your roots are showing! Please color your hair because I don’t want the kids at school to think that you’re my grandmother! LOL 😆
My oldest daughter didn’t care whether my hair was gray or not. My youngest daughter is our little diva!
So, when my youngest daughter entered college I told her that I was done with coloring my hair. She was fine with my gray hair by that time.
At age 68, my hair is just about all silver. I’m happy not to be coloring it.
The woman who lived next door to me when I was growing up never let her hair grow gray.
My neighbor continued to dye her hair blonde well into her 90’s! In fact, she was so vain that she didn’t even tell her doctor how old she was. She said that it was none of his business! LOL 😆
It’s a personal choice really. I don’t care if people dye or don’t dye their hair, have cosmetic surgery or whatever.
I am curious if gray hair makes anyone here feel older?
Cashew - but life expectancy is higher than 75 (at least it is here in Canada), and the number of nonagenarians is increasing all the time. My one friend still kids me about the time I was asked how old my mom was and I apparently said she was ancient and too ***ing old. (she died at 99)
Senior starts 60-65 But, I'm hardcore and point out that humans have 3 actual stages..Young, Middle Aged, and Old. people live to about 75 (for easy math) so, divide by 3 and you get young=up to 24 (childhood is included) Mid Aged=25-49 (most productive) people freak on this one the most because they don't want to count childhood as young...weird. Old = 50-75 (includes elderly) Over 75? I call ancient. lol
I don't think I will actually start to feel old until my parents have both passed away. I am turning 60 next month.
My father is 81, and sorta had to argue with the TSA agent this morning when he didn't want to take his shoes off at the Security Checkpoint. He looks that good!
My mother, on the other hand, will be 3 years in Memory Care as of next month. She's deeeeep into it.
Like previous posters said, sometimes, it's the luck of the draw, and genetics that has has us feeling old or not.
I'm a stickler for details and I was an English major - so for me word choices matter - a lot.
Words paint a picture. So you have "official" definitions - or "legal" definitions. To qualify for Medicare you have to be at least 65. That indicates that you have reached the age in the US where you are considered "senior" - qualified to collect Social Security.
Beyond that - it is honestly "in the eye of the beholder" to be fair.
Merriam-Webster defines "senior" simply as "a person who is older than another", "elderly" as "rather old, especially being past middle age" and "aging" as "the process of growing older"
None of those really puts a number on ANYTHING. So in other words...age is in the eye of the beholder.
To a 15-year old I'm quite sure I'm a senior lol - but pretty much anyone over the age of 40 is a senior. To a 30-year old I think 60 is a senior. Now that I'm in my 50s, while I know logically I will qualify for senior discounts soon and AARP has already come a calling - 65 doesn't seem that old. Heck 75 doesn't seem that old. I work with a lady that is my mom's age. She runs CIRCLES around our 20-something team members.
At this stage in my life - I'm willing to admit that my 97 year old grandmother is elderly. Not just because of her age, but because life has finally caught up with her. A couple of years ago - I didn't even feel that way about her. My 90 year old FIL is elderly. My 76 year old mom- no where close. My 76 year old coworker - nowhere close.
Age is a number. There are other factors that go into making someone elderly in my opinion.
An injury sure changed the youthful perspective I took for granted. I didn’t feel like a senior until I destroyed both knees. (to be replaced) I can still skate but, if I fall, it takes me several seconds to get up. Giving up hockey (temporarily?) makes me feel old, fat, unfit and frustrated. But I haven’t given up.
Hitting 50 sure drove the point home that I don’t bounce back the way I used to. I hate being crunchy.
I now enjoy such conveniences as an electric log splitter. Lifting with arm straps. Using a dolly. Hiking/walking instead of running. Holding the handrail on stairs.
So glad my health is good and the rest of me still feels like a junior.
I can remember answering this question back in my high school sociology class, I said 65 because if that age was good enough for the government it was good enough for me. 🤣 But seriously, once we reach middle age "old" is always 10 years older than your current age!
Ha Ha. I felt like you at 60. Worked until 72 and still feel strong and young in my mind. I laugh because recently my husband and I joined the local senior center which we long avoided because we never felt like seniors. “Those OLD people”. Well, I am very sorry we didn’t joins sooner. Met new people, parties and dancing. Check out “senior stuff” and like AARP (55+) maybe you will find people just like you.
I am 65 and newly retired, and joined the exercise classes at the local senior center. My DD about screamed that I was not a senior ,, hello,, according to the SS admin I am! I just told her I am the baby of the group, LOL Other than some horrible arthritis I normally feel decent, hope to keep that up. I wanted to retire in time to enjoy some family time and relax,, I am also OK with the discounts...
The ONLY thing I liked about being called a senior was the discounts at thrift stores on Tuesdays. Can't argue with 50% off 🤣😂😁😅
I didn't feel like a senior, either, even with a destroyed spine and bad osteoarthritis all over the place. Until I hit 65.5 and was diagnosed with terminal cancer. That began a very painful look into my mortality and acknowledging my limited time left to enjoy life, most likely. Which underlines Geatons statement, "The older one gets, the more sudden and profound a single health incident can become."
The moral of the story is, enjoy life every day w/o putting a label on yourself. You could have 35 more years left or 3 more days, there's no guarantee. Live in the NOW because that's all any of us DO have.
I don't care how great or how not-so-great I look now, like I did at 65, or how white my teeth are or how gray my entire head is. Now I'm proud to be called a Senior because by God, I MADE it to 66!
Thanks for the giggle about when I accidentally died my hair purple!
I needed the comic relief, hubby is having an MRI today and I am praying that all goes well.
Nope, not a Raven’s fan. Die hard New Orleans Saints fan here! Black and Gold.
LSU’s colors are Purple and Gold. Our daughters went to LSU.
Too funny! Southern gal here too, so I completely get what you are saying! Still, that very first time being called mam stings a bit!
First of all - he looked all of 12-years-old and I was already secretly calling him "Dr. Doogie" in my head - and he was probably young enough that the reference would have gone right over his head. He was my eye doctor and it was our very first time meeting. He was incredibly sweet and I liked him right away.
However - he quite literally called me "Ma'am" and told me that I needed PROGESSIVES in the same sentence. Dear God man what are you doing???
I smiled sweetly and said "I really like you, so I'm going to give you a life lesson." He started laughing. "Please, whatever you do...please don't ever call another woman ma'am in the same sentence that you tell her she needs progressive lenses." He really laughed and said "I'll try to remember that. You have a point."
I know deep down he was honestly just trying to be polite and respectful, but something about hearing ma'am with the eyewear of my people just hit me like a gut punch!
We are the same age. I love my silver hair. My mom started out with silver but as she aged her hair turned a beautiful snow white. Her hair stylist always told her that she could have been a hair model.
My grandmother also had white hair. My grandfather and my dad’s hair was silver
One time I wanted to try a different shade and my hair came out purple! 🤣. I had to attend my daughter’s play with purple hair!
That said, I am 68 and still waiting to grow up. I feel like I have so much life ahead of me yet to live, places I want to go, things I want to do. I'm healthy (just overweight, but been that since the 80s). I can't live an active lifestyle right now because of my husband's needs. I've never lived on my own (unless you consider college living on your own). I've never gotten up in the morning without having to consult with someone else about my plans for the day. I look forward to growing up and I grow old, and as of right now, I am not old!
My husband was carded when he was starting to get gray hair. Same thing as you, he was purchasing a bottle of wine for us to have for dinner.
My response was, “Did you hug and kiss the cashier for thinking that you were younger? LOL 😆
He said that he looked at the cashier and said, “You’ve got to be kidding! Don’t you see my gray hair?” He was in his 40’s.
She replied saying that she sold liquor to a teenage girl who looked much older than she was and got into trouble with her boss, so now she was carding everyone! 😃
Gosh, I remember when my friend’s parents would send their kids to the store to buy cigarettes for them. No one thought anything of it. Now cigarettes aren’t sold to kids anymore for parents and grandparents.
Taking a kid to buy liquor…well, there are neighborhood bars that I have seen people take their kids to because they are picking up sandwiches for lunch. Some bar and grills have great sandwiches. The owners don’t tell them anything about their kids.
We can buy wine, beer and liquor in our grocery stores here in New Orleans. We have drive through Daiquiri bars too! 🤣
My oldest daughter’s insurance went down when she lived Birmingham, Alabama. The agent said our rates were higher because of our drinking laws.
I stopped in a liquor store next to the grocery store quick , the day before Thanksgiving , for a bottle of wine for my Dad . I had my baby on my hip too . 😂😂🙄. I said to the cashier “ really ? I’m 32 with a baby in my arms . “. The guy said that people borrow a baby to trick me into thinking they are older so they could avoid being carded in here.
Where were they getting babies to borrow ??🤷♀️🤷♀️
I went home and told DH , his response was “ you took the baby in the liquor store ?”. 😬🤔.
Now the "senior" definition is a bit difficult.
I think the general definition is 62 or older.
Medicare can be started at 65.
Stores and other places that give discounts often use 65.
I think there are Young 65's and I think there are Old 65's
I do not dwell on the number.
I think there is a difference between a 65 year old person now and a 65 year old person 40 years ago. We are aging differently, more slowly if that makes sense.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to keep active, be proactive. Make sure that all your "stuff" is organized. Healthcare wishes, legal matters, have things written so that family can find what is needed when it is needed.
And enjoy the life you have, do not put off some of the things you want to do. As we know from being caregivers you never know what is going to happen.
And as caregivers, make things easy for the people that are in your life, the ones that may one day be your caregiver. And if you do not want to put family in that position make plans NOW.
My mom had certain catalogs that were geared towards the elderly. She had that tool to help her button up her blouses. She used it for awhile until her Parkinson’s disease progressed further.
Tons of products are produced at the other end of the spectrum too. People spend a fortune on baby products too.
Msblcb,
Yep, we were taught to say it.
I did feel old the first time someone said it to me because I was carded to get into bars until my late 20’s.
We could legally drink at 18 in New Orleans. Later on the drinking age was changed to 21. I always went to clubs to hear music with my friends.
My aunt would pay the child’s price ticket for me at the movies when I was 15! LOL 😆 She said that she was saving money and that I could pass for a 12 year old which I did because I was tiny.
True, Katherine Hepburn did like pants as well. Loved her look! Great actress too. So many wonderful actresses in that era. Mom and I always loved watching Bette Davis movies together.
Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte was a favorite of ours. It was filmed in Louisiana, not far from New Orleans at Houma’s House plantation. Bette Davis bought beautiful candle operas for the dining room table as a parting gift. If you tour the plantation you will see them proudly displayed.
I have several oil paintings of the beautiful plantation homes. My husband’s grandmother was an incredible artist. She did beautiful paintings of our magnolias, swamp scenes, local architecture, etc. Her art hangs in various places throughout New Orleans.
It’s funny to listen to interviews from actors/actresses who worked during this era. Barbara Eden said that her belly button couldn’t show in the costume she wore for I Dream of Jeannie.
Life expectancy, to be accurate, is 78.9 in the USA...so, a distinction without much of a difference.
"It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage."
Indiana Jones
Chronological age doesn't make me a senior but I've got an awful lot of mileage! which does.
Grandma never owned a pair of pants either. Not even when pants became popular for women to wear. She wore casual dresses during the week and nice dresses on Sunday for church and Sunday dinner. Everyone dressed up for church.
My mom and aunt wore pants. Grandma had no desire to put on a pair of pants.
It was the Dick Van Dyke show that made pants popular by Mary Tyler Moore.
I know, right! The ‘mam’ word threw me for a loop!
Our second child was born when I was 40. We had struggled for years with infertility.
We adopted our first child. I was 33 when we bought her home. Seven years later we were shocked that I became pregnant without any help from my fertility specialist.
I’m trying to remember when I started getting gray hair. I know that I colored my hair for years!
I grew tired of coloring my hair and my youngest daughter said to me, “Mom, your roots are showing! Please color your hair because I don’t want the kids at school to think that you’re my grandmother! LOL 😆
My oldest daughter didn’t care whether my hair was gray or not. My youngest daughter is our little diva!
So, when my youngest daughter entered college I told her that I was done with coloring my hair. She was fine with my gray hair by that time.
At age 68, my hair is just about all silver. I’m happy not to be coloring it.
The woman who lived next door to me when I was growing up never let her hair grow gray.
My neighbor continued to dye her hair blonde well into her 90’s! In fact, she was so vain that she didn’t even tell her doctor how old she was. She said that it was none of his business! LOL 😆
It’s a personal choice really. I don’t care if people dye or don’t dye their hair, have cosmetic surgery or whatever.
I am curious if gray hair makes anyone here feel older?
My one friend still kids me about the time I was asked how old my mom was and I apparently said she was ancient and too ***ing old. (she died at 99)
But, I'm hardcore and point out that humans have 3 actual stages..Young, Middle Aged, and Old.
people live to about 75 (for easy math) so, divide by 3 and you get
young=up to 24 (childhood is included)
Mid Aged=25-49 (most productive) people freak on this one the most because they don't want to count childhood as young...weird.
Old = 50-75 (includes elderly)
Over 75? I call ancient. lol
My father is 81, and sorta had to argue with the TSA agent this morning when he didn't want to take his shoes off at the Security Checkpoint. He looks that good!
My mother, on the other hand, will be 3 years in Memory Care as of next month. She's deeeeep into it.
Like previous posters said, sometimes, it's the luck of the draw, and genetics that has has us feeling old or not.
This is a fun conversation.
Thankful for you all!
Do you remember the first time that you were called mam?
I do! I remember feeling very old the first time I heard it. LOL 😆
Words paint a picture. So you have "official" definitions - or "legal" definitions. To qualify for Medicare you have to be at least 65. That indicates that you have reached the age in the US where you are considered "senior" - qualified to collect Social Security.
Beyond that - it is honestly "in the eye of the beholder" to be fair.
Merriam-Webster defines "senior" simply as "a person who is older than another", "elderly" as "rather old, especially being past middle age" and "aging" as "the process of growing older"
None of those really puts a number on ANYTHING. So in other words...age is in the eye of the beholder.
To a 15-year old I'm quite sure I'm a senior lol - but pretty much anyone over the age of 40 is a senior. To a 30-year old I think 60 is a senior. Now that I'm in my 50s, while I know logically I will qualify for senior discounts soon and AARP has already come a calling - 65 doesn't seem that old. Heck 75 doesn't seem that old. I work with a lady that is my mom's age. She runs CIRCLES around our 20-something team members.
At this stage in my life - I'm willing to admit that my 97 year old grandmother is elderly. Not just because of her age, but because life has finally caught up with her. A couple of years ago - I didn't even feel that way about her. My 90 year old FIL is elderly. My 76 year old mom- no where close. My 76 year old coworker - nowhere close.
Age is a number. There are other factors that go into making someone elderly in my opinion.
Hitting 50 sure drove the point home that I don’t bounce back the way I used to. I hate being crunchy.
I now enjoy such conveniences as an electric log splitter. Lifting with arm straps. Using a dolly. Hiking/walking instead of running. Holding the handrail on stairs.
So glad my health is good and the rest of me still feels like a junior.
Lulu, set your own pace and keep them guessing.
I didn't feel like a senior, either, even with a destroyed spine and bad osteoarthritis all over the place. Until I hit 65.5 and was diagnosed with terminal cancer. That began a very painful look into my mortality and acknowledging my limited time left to enjoy life, most likely. Which underlines Geatons statement, "The older one gets, the more sudden and profound a single health incident can become."
The moral of the story is, enjoy life every day w/o putting a label on yourself. You could have 35 more years left or 3 more days, there's no guarantee. Live in the NOW because that's all any of us DO have.
I don't care how great or how not-so-great I look now, like I did at 65, or how white my teeth are or how gray my entire head is. Now I'm proud to be called a Senior because by God, I MADE it to 66!