Asking for prayers from all of the forum members that pray.

Oh, RR, thanks so much for this update. I have wanted to ask every time I see your name out here, but I know you will update us when the time is right.
What an enormous blessing that your mom is pain free and that she has the loving kindness of your friend's daughter, who to a believer such as yourself must be such an "angel unaware" (one of my favorite verses).
The stuff about the dogs is miracle enough to me today. Was it Einstein who said "Either everything is a miracle or nothing is"?
Yes, walking this path we will all take should we be lucky to live that long is a journey of another kind. I hope in my heart that when the time comes you will feel what I felt about the loss of my Mom and Dad. I couldn't honestly imagine being without them, so kind and loving had they been all my life; yet when they went finally in age I felt only relief that I never had to witness them suffer again, that they were free from threat and pain.
Thinking about you so much. You have no idea how in my daily walks and gardening I travel with you and with Lea.

No news . She is peacefully transitioning and that is the best answer to prayer I could have.

Thank you Lord for keeping her peaceful.

Her friends daughter is the POA and she has been tremendous through this difficult time. She is keeping my mom's other 2 dogs and has come to love them as part of her family. It's good for the dogs and her.

I let her know daily how much she is appreciated and I will be sending her a nice gift to show how much her friendship to my mom and me during this difficult time means. I haven't decided what would be the best thing but, I know I will know what when the time is right.

Thank you ALL for the continued prayers and good thoughts. Nothing can prepare you for what this specific season in life is like, it is only through prayer and prayers that it is manageable for me. Such a huge loss on so many fronts, you just ca't imagine what it feels like until you travel the path.

I am still believing for her soul and I am Praising HIM for the mercy bestowed on her already. No suffering is an answer that I am sooooooooooo grateful for for her sake. God's ways are perfect, even when it is hard for us.

Though HE slay me, yet I will trust HIM!

God bless and keep you all, your friends, family and your loved ones.

hugggggs!! to your mother and to you!!

Praying for you and your mom.

ITRR: Prayers sent.🧡

ITRR, thinking of you. I am glad your mom is not suffering. She will soon be at rest. My hope for you is that you will not have any regrets or blame yourself for anything you did or didn't do. You have done all you could and should do.

ITRR, thinking of you and mom and family and those friends watching over mom.

Hold on ReallyReal. Peace and comfort for you both in abundance.

Thinking of you and your mom, Real. Prayers for peace and comfort to both of you.

RealyReal,

Prayers that your mom won't suffer long and that you find strength and comfort during this difficult time.

Real, (((hugs)))

Praying that your mom will feel God's presence and peace as she prepares to leave this world for the next, and that you too will feel His presence and have peace about how things are going down.
And if there's anything you feel you want to say to your mom before she dies, please make sure that you say it, as you don't want to have any regrets when it is all said and done.
May God bless you and keep you my dear.

Thank goodness for the wisdom of God and the faith of his children. We continue to pray every day for your mom and for you and your family.

((((((ITRR))))) I am so glad she is not in pain. Prayers continue for you and her! This is a difficult time.

Real, I'm sending peaceful, loving thoughts your way.

RealyReal, I wish your Mom a peaceful journey. I wish you peace and joy in your heart and if you are like me you will feel only peace when she passes, knowing you needn't be witness to her pain. Please let us know.

ITRR,

We are still praying for you.

Happy to hear that hospice is helping your mom remain calm and pain free.

Wishing you peace during this difficult time. Lots of love and hugs sent your way.

Update: it appears my mom is going to be blessed. She was transferred to a board and care facility on Wednesday afternoon. The hospice nurse said she had a huge change in status because of the move and she is actively transitioning.

They don't know if she will live through the day.

She is no longer suffering, thank you hospice and the drugs they provide for her to be comfortable. I told her when this started I would honor whatever she wants to do.

She said she was done and wanted out. I am so grateful for The Lords mercy, HE has delivered her from suffering for an untold amount of time.

Thank you ALL for your prayers and thoughts, I know they have made a difference for all of us. God bless you all exceeding abundantly.

ITRR - thinking of you tonight and holding you and your mum in my heart and prayers these days (((((((hugs))))))

ITRR: Prayers sent to you.

I know you can't really make any decisions easily without knowing, but I would just go now to see her. She may last a while; she may not, but she has not wanted you to have any info to make better guesses. If you know her POA you can ask for advice about whether to come now or later, but if you go, then you HAVE gone, and it is done, no matter how long Mom last. She may, who knows, love where she is placed and recover. Whatever is killing her now isn't likely to be the bowel breaching. She survived that one, or would be gone of it. She may have a cancer. She may just be suffering of age and generalized wasting and ill health. No one can know that. And it doesn't much matter in the long run. All that matters to me is that you have the peace of that last visit if it is something you feel you want/need. If you don't want/need it, then I wouldn't give a fig if you went at all. She has chosen who she is comfortable managing her affairs and having around; they are likely those who do her will. That's great; she has gone it, as Frank Sinatra (aNOTHER unpleasant person) "my way".

ITRR,

I am so glad that your mom has settled into a place. I hope that she will find peace and comfort there.

sp,

I recommended that book because Polar was discussing near death experiences. Everyone has their own belief systems and that is fine.

I personally don’t care what people believe or don’t believe. It’s their business.

It’s the only near death experience book that I have read. Others on the forum have mentioned reading many of them.

Alva, I think symptoms were missed or dismissed because of the pain management. Not that the opiates caused the problem.

I agree, this is going great considering her "plans".

I think that a quick exit from cancer is a blessing. To linger, being sick, with no quality of life is not. If she gets to go quickly it would be good.

The challenge is not knowing the reality and making decisions based on partial truths is hard.

Ali, thank you. I find getting out of my own head helps me find balance. When we care more for others it helps keep us grounded. And I need both right now:-)

Hugs, ITRR. I hope the visit goes well. You're amazing to still find the time and compassion to comment to me recently, even as you're going through this with your mom. I'm glad to read she's peaceful about the prognosis and transitions in her life, and I pray she stays comfortable.

Boy, I have been thinking of you and "mom" so very much. I have to tell you I think this could not be going better, given that we are ALL going eventually. I don't know that I ever knew your mom's age, RR, but I know she can't be real young. She is dying. Whether her stuff was caused by opiates in any way we just can't know either, and even MDs, even if they COULD talk to you, would be real unlikely to have "the answer" for you. And what does "the answer matter, really. We all go and we all go of something and we all will get something; we are lucky when we get it later in life.
I am amazed and I love the fact that she doesn't wish to fight, that she will accept placement and help, that she has chosen her POA and won't burden you with any of this, and even that her little dog (I hope he/she was old) predeceeded her. She can visually see him waiting for her over the rainbow bridge.
I think it is wonderful that you feel up to the short call daily to check in and tell her you care. I am thrilled you will visit her and that you will have hubby with so that in all the pain you can share together, and even get a chuckle in your witness to the vagaries of life (and death). Our passing should not be all painful. You will have support. You can get in your final "we two, different that we are, did the best we could with our own limitations".
I am sorry you are facing this loss that we all, should we outlive our moms and dads face, but I believe there can be learning and love at this passage in life. And great peace after, great relief that there will never be pain for our parents again, that we will never feel helpless in the face of their agony again.
How far will you have to travel? I know you live in the Southwest. What section of the country does Mom live in? I wish you comfort of your husband, a good trip, acceptance, peace, and even joyful moments on this final journey for your Mom. Please take good care. And thanks so much for updating us.
Wherever you are you have our complete support. Know we want only your comfort, your joy, your peace.

Me too Barb.

Thanks for the hug!

Dear Real; you are doing all the rights things, with love.

I hope you have a satisfactory visit that doesn't go south.

(((Hugs)))

prayers to you and your family. Knowing the Lord will be there for you and your mother and may he comfort you and your mother and hold you in his arms.

Sp, God doesn't make the suffering, HE has given us free will and man creates his own suffering.

Any person that isn't teaching a merciful GOD, isn't teaching about my Heavenly Father. Just so you know.

The Holy Bible tells us of HIS mercy. If you are going to read anything religious, I recommend reading The Holy Bible and not man's interpretation of the word.

Good morning everyone!

I haven't updated because there wasn't anything, not really, to update until last night. I tend to keep to myself when I am struggling for balance, as I have been since this started.

My mom is being moved today to a board and care home. Her new POA let me know where and that she thought it was a good fit for my mom. I pray it is.

I have been calling her daily. To say it is a rollercoaster ride is an understatement. This doesn't surprise me, it is standard operating for her. You know, "if momma ain't happy..." then add a terminal diagnosis that isn't getting her what she wants and it's a tempest. She has apparently given up trying to beat this or so she says to me. Any question gets a yes, no, I don't know, all three answers, every single time. This is intended to create confusion, so very sad.

I can understand her emotions being all over the place. Not only is she losing her life, in every conceivable way, her little dog died Sunday. This has been a shock to everyone involved, I truly can't fathom being in her shoes. As she said, new years day I was having the time of my life and then here I am. Yep, that very crisis I asked her to make plans for, Praise The Lord it is working out as well as it is.

As challenging as she makes everything, I feel like I am able to call daily and check in. She still won't release any medical information and I'm okay with that. I know it is a manipulation and control tactic. I don't need it to continue to pray and believe for her and that is what I can do, for now.

My husband is going to go with me to visit her. That gives me a great out if things go south with her. None of my friends and loved ones think I should visit alone. I agree, it's impossible to know what she will do if she hasn't heard The Lord calling yet. I don't know when we will go and we won't be doing anything but visiting. This is her choice and I honor her decision to be this way. It's good to know where things stand.

To clarify, I am not in denial about any of this. I know she can reject The Lord and turn her back on HIM. I will let HIM be the judge and I will continue to pray for her. Scripture is my guide to all of this and it's very thorough. I put ALL of my trust in The Lord and HIS words. I don't want to see any soul perish and would grieve for anyone that chooses to reject the grace and mercy of full salvation. I know there are those that will and do and it is something worth grieving over.

As an aside: I would like to bring to everyones attention, I think this is a cautionary story for anyone dealing with long term pain management. I think it hid symptoms and she just thought any changes in bowels was opiate induced. She hasn't said this, it is my opinion based on what symptoms she would have had and didn't notice.

I hope this wasn't all over the place. Because I kinda am right now. I know what I want to do, what I can do and what I should do and they are at odds with one another right now. These relationships are a challenge to navigate at best and a nightmare at worst. My mom runs towards the latter, intentionally.

So, I call to say hi, love you and try to find a good dog story that will not give cause for upset. Just loving her right where she is, warts and all :-)

Thank you all for continued prayers and thoughts. They are very helpful and I know we serve a prayer answering GOD, even if the answer is no. God is good all the time.