Asking for prayers from all of the forum members that pray.

I thought your post was fine as it was. My boundaries are that my parents live 1500 miles away from me. I come here to learn tools to keep other boundaries as they get older. Because as much as I hate saying it my parents have Jekyell and Hyde personalities. And even though you had great boundaries with your mother as long as she was alive you were never 100% free from her trying to cause drama and affect you negatively.

RR, I am so glad you were able to have that long cry. I think that our tears just wash us out, leaving us clean and free of so much built up pain. Often in the past it has been difficult for me to cry, then I will see something, often to do with a suffering or dying animal, and the tears that have built up on a whole lot of other situations are freed, and I understand I am not just suffering for a dead bird in the street, but for all the pain inside.
I agree with so much of your advice to us. We learn as we go.

Why was my post to sp19690 changed? Seriously admin and whomever reported?

Telling someone they better learn about boundaries or they are going to be scr*wed when they have to deal with what they say are difficult parents is unacceptable on a caregiving support/advice forum?

Thank you all for ALL the prayers. God is good.

Yesterday I decided to just be a puddle and cry all the tears I had. It was cathartic and I am doing okay today. I had a good nights sleep and feel less exhausted then I have for a month, Praise The Lord!

One thing I pray everyone learns, before they need it, it's okay to honor a parents wishes, even when they are hurtful and not the best plan. It is their end and they should get what they want, even though we don't agree with them. This, obviously, doesn't apply to being their sole caregiver or crossing your boundaries. We ALL get to decide for our own lives what we will or will not do. Them and us!

I have seen so much BS in the last 6 months with family trying to keep dear friends away, just because they do not have the capacity to deal with authority, I have seen greed grow to a sickness and sole focus and I have seen the very low bar set for competency by our medical industry and I have seen lies beyond my ability to comprehend and many other heart breaking situations. It doesn't need to be this way.

Have that talk with your parents and families, put your wishes in writing and give someone the legal ability to advocate for you when you can not advocate for yourself.

My mom told me what she wanted and I am grateful that I didn't have to be anything but her daughter, for what that was worth.

No amount of money is worth your own well-being, period. Help if you choose to but, not because you are looking for an inheritance or acknowledgment or anything, you will sell your soul if you do.

Figure out what your boundaries are, enforce them and keep yourself from getting trapped. It is okay to do those things. Face it, it's not the 1st time your parent(s) were mad at you and it won't be the last. However, you will be strong enough to face the anger if you don't let them suck your life force!

Love all of you and your hearts. May today be a new sunrise for all of us. ((((((((((HUGS))))))))) to everyone!

sp, you just don't get it. My mom didn't reign terror in my life. That's what good, healthy, strong boundaries stop.

Were there trials and tears, of course, every relationship has them but, once I was an adult, my parents weren't in a position to reign anything in my life. Everything I did, I did willingly, knowing who they were.

"God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted."

- Matthew 5:4

ITRR, may you feel blessed and comforted today.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom. Hoping for peace in your heart and your life in the days ahead.

I am glad you are finally free from your mothers reign of terror in your life. I am sorry her defective brain prevented her from being the loving mother you deserved and now her spirit is free from that body with all its limitations both mentally and physically.

RealyReal, my deep sympathy to you. Your Mom is now free of this life her & of any pain.
The last 6 weeks may not feel real yet, let both the good & not so good details wash over you as they need to. In time, may the good, fond & funny memories arrive & be the ones to look back on.
(((Hugs)))

So very sorry for your loss 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Hugs 🤗

My deepest condolences to you, ITRR, on the loss of your mother.

ITRR: I am so sorry. Deepest condolences.💛

ITRR - it does feel like a life time. I can so relate. Please be at peace. Your mother is now home where she belongs.

God Bless you Real. May your heart and mind be filled with peace and God's love.

Peace at last. The Lord’s timing is perfect. Not always easily understood but perfect. My condolences.

ITRR, my condolences on your mother's passing. May she rest in peace.

ITRR, may you receive the peace that transcends understanding into your heart. (((hug)))

I am so sorry for your loss, ITRR.

my deepest condolences, dear isthisrealyreal.
hugggggggg.

ITRR,

I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. It’s a blessing that she died peacefully. I’m sure that she knew that you truly cared about her well being.

Real,
My condolences to you on the passing of your Mom this morning.

RealyReal, I am glad your Mom is at rest finally. I am thankful for the wonderful support that surrounded her in last days, and for good care. I hope that her death is a relief to you in that you do not have to witness any suffering for her anymore, nor fear for her. You have my most sincere condolences. Please continue to take care of yourself now at this time.

Real
My condolences on the passing of your mom.

I'm glad that your mom was able to pass peacefully. I know you're grateful for that. Now it's time for the healing for you to begin.
I pray for God's peace and comfort to cover you in the days, weeks, and months ahead.

ITRR - Deepest condolences on your mum's passing. Regarding your situation, I was thinking the other day that no one except our Lord knows what happens in a person's final moments. Your mum's final decline has happened so quickly and that was a blessing. He is merciful, indeed!!! Look after yourself. ((((hugs))))

My mom passed peacefully from this earthly body this morning.

I have confidence that The Lord moved in her heart and on the scene.

This year has felt like a lifetime. It is hard to grasp that it was 6 weeks from the 911 call to death.

I am grateful for that mercy. I am grateful for all the prayers and good thoughts. Mostly, I am grateful for Jesus, my Lord and Saviour.

Thank you all!

Yes, I am so glad the dogs are cared for. Dogs truly are furry angels. My little poodle had saved my sanity during the most trying times taking care of my Alz. mother.

ITRR,

Thinking of you and your mom. I am glad that she isn’t suffering. It’s very nice that her dogs are being well cared for.

Wishing all of you peace during this difficult time. Continuing to pray for your family.

Keeping you and your mom lifted up in prayer during these final days for your mom. I know you must be having all kinds of feelings going on right now, but rest in the knowledge that mom is now(and has always been)in the hands of God, and He will make all things work out for His good and for His glory.

Thank God mom is peaceful and not suffering during her final journey now. This is unexpected just as my mother's swift and dramatic decline was. By the time her "status changed", she had 7 more days left here on earth. It was a huge blessing she went so quickly. She's at perfect peace now, in my view. I have no idea what her relationship to God was at the time of her death, but it was none of my business to begin with. I could not do anything to change her lifelong views, so I didn't try.

Sending you hugs and a prayer for peace during this time of waiting.