Asking for prayers from all of the forum members that pray.

Many hugs being sent your way today.

I'm sorry to hear the news of your friend and your mom. I am lifting her up in prayer right now and asking for God's will to be done, and for her not to suffer. I'm also lifting you up as I know God will give you the strength for whatever lies ahead.
Please keep us posted on how she's doing.
And if you want to PM me with her first name so I can pray for her by name that would be great. But if not, don't worry, God knows who I'm talking about when I say Isthisrealyreal's mom.
May God bless you and keep you.

I wanted to apologize if my heading made anyone feel excluded. I just didn't want to offend anyone that gets upset because belief in God is brought into the question or discussion, I wanted to warn them but, I do cherish everyone that is sending support.

I do covet all prayers and appreciate them beyond measure, I believe they are being heard.

The news is that she will be getting a blood transfusion and the hemoglobin will be monitored closely. They have put a wound vac on the incision, we are still awaiting pathology reports.

Does anyone know the standard average it takes to get those? I can't get any answer besides a while, which it has been.

She was awake and verbal this afternoon, obviously not suffering, Thank you Jesus!!!

I'm so sorry to hear both these things, ITRR. Prayer for comfort for your loss, healing for your mom and peace in your heart.

ITRR: Chuck's always gotten his hemoglobin transfusions quite fast; never a big delay on that front. He's always been in major hospitals though, downtown Denver or the Mayo Clinic, which could have something to do with it, I'm sure. Glad to hear mom appears to be in no pain, and alert/verbal! GOOD NEWS

ITRR,
Praying for your Mom, and for you. I have had a bowel obstruction in the past, so I can pray with great understanding.

It’s soooo difficult to see our loved ones suffering. I’m glad they’re addressing your Mom’s pain!

Bless God! So glad your mum is not suffering.

Hi Isthisrealyreal - I'm sending Tons of prayers your way - for your mother's healing and recovery and for strength and comfort - and a fully positive outcome.

Sending you big hugs, blessings and prayers - and we are all with you in spirit and sending great positive energy!

XO

So glad that your mom isn’t suffering. That’s wonderful!

My prayers are with you both.

Wow, awake and not in pain is huge.
I sure have no idea how long it will take the lab, but the norm in this is all the bacteria in our gut is what shows up and that is just about everything, heavy on a whole lot of e-coli. What they often want is the best antibiotics here, the most powerful to get the biggest colonies of bacteria. Our systems are so resistant to antibiotics now, including the heavy duty vancos. My bro, when he had sepsis from a teeny sore on his shin was resistant to everything, and it is what took him out.
They will be doing perhaps some cultures that can take as long as 3 days in the past, but may be quicker now to see what the bacteria she is showing is sensitive to. I have been so long out of nursing that I am worthless. So don't listen to me, and keep asking them.
RR, I think no one here is so small, no matter what their beliefs, to question your heading and you don't owe anyone an explanation at all. I am not a believer, but today on my walk to the library I passed one of our lovely churches that keeps a "prayer board" outside with colored ribbons to hang "prayer flags" to seek help or give thanks. Just want you to know I tied a flag for you and your Mom and said a prayer, for if you are right (you so often are, ha ha), then there is a voice to hear mine.
Please take care. Whether we are praying or holding you in our hearts I believe in good energy.

So sorry to hear this. Prayers for comfort and peace…

ITRR: Prayers sent, dear real. I had twisted bowel surgery, which saved my life in 2002. Hugs.💛💚

ITRR so sorry for the loss of your friend.

Best to you and mom. Good to hear she is doing well.

Thinking of you and yours, ITRR. Many (((((hugs)))))

ITRR - My prayers are with you and your mom.

So sorry that you are going through this. It sounds like all is being done that can be. Hugs and prayer for you.

I just saw this post. So sorry to hear about Mom. I have sent a prayer up.

RR, thinking of you and hoping you are getting some rest in all this. Will keep checking in for updates, but foremost is your taking care of you in this hard time while the healers work hard for your Mom.

Update: so, my mom is awake, in pain but not crying out as before. I believe they took her off the pain pump and she likes her dope, it is hard to gauge the true level of pain because of this. When I was talking to her this morning she was asked if she wanted breakfast and said yes. All indications are she is making progress. Still no information on the pathology that is 9 days being processed as of now.

I am waiting to speak to the nurse or doctor to find out the status.

I wanted to let you guys know, I am advocating long distance. I have a boundary with my mom that I don't jump for her emergencies. This probably sounds cruel considering this is a true emergency but, she has cried wolf to many times, she plays far to many mind and heart games for me to abandon my life to rush to her crisis du jour. I found out this morning that this all started six days before her friends contacted me. Maybe I would have headed their on day one but, not at this point. Yet another game intended to hurt me. Her friend said she wasn't even supposed to call me and lied to my mom saying I was hunting her up. What a mess.

I will be going up next week, I believe she needs an advocate to ensure she goes to a decent rehabilitation center and to see the doctors face when I ask about prognosis, treatment, etc.

I do know that she would not be doing so well without all of the prayers and positive energy sent to and for her. Prayer works and God is still on HIS throne.

Thank all of you for your kindness, the messages truly help me.

Edit: I didn't rush up on what I thought was day 1 because I had lost my dear friend. I believe The Lord intervened, because I would not have been pleasant finding out this was 6 days later. I truly might have walked away without a glance back. Heart games should never be used, period.

ITRR,

I feel that you are wise to protect yourself. I do feel that your presence will be important in determining her future care. I truly hope that she will make a full recovery.

I will continue to pray for you and your mother. She did go through a serious surgery and some pain and anxiety can be expected.

I hope that she will appreciate your input and respect your recommendations.

How are you holding up?

Honestly NHWM, right now I am disgusted with the whole thing.

Personally, I think her friend isn't a very good friend. They knew this was serious and they didn't use their heads in deciding when I should be called. Now, I find out she didn't have any visitors or advocate for those 6 days. With friends like that who needs enemies.

I see a difference in every aspect of her care with me calling and asking questions, I thought every person alive knew you got better care with an advocate. Why they would not have advocated for her is beyond me.

I don't know when the conversation about not calling me took place but, you would think all bets off with a 70% mortality medical crisis. Then her daughter is trying to use FOG to get me to drop everything and rush up there. Who does that knowing she could have died anytime during those 1st days and doesn't think I should be called, then I should jump because she doesn't appear to be getting better. Grrrrr!

What a wicked web we weave when we practice to deceive. And when people think their kids heads and hearts are a personal litter box.

Vent over! Thanks for listening.

You’re welcome. We are all here to listen and support you.

That’s absolutely insane! I would be very annoyed with her ‘so called’ friends behavior. Any person that had common sense would have called you. The daughter of her friend has a lot of gall.

You weren’t informed, plus you live far away. She should take that into consideration. Does she not know that traveling takes planning? She doesn’t sound like she is wrapped too tightly, if you know what I mean.

I think that you will feel better for yourself if you go. Of course, your voice is important. It does make a huge difference in the patient’s care if they have an advocate.

These people need to take a big step back when you show up. She’s your mom.

How far do you have to travel to get to Mom. Is she actually EATING? Unusual if this was intestinal perforation; usually after a surgery (when it is needed) the bowel takes a while to "wake up". Truth is that this is an unusual presentation and it OFTEN kills because of that. It starts with the belly and gut pain, and with bloating and sometimes a failure to pass gas. People often worsen the thing with administration of laxatives thinking it is "the usual" intestinal problems that our elders are prey to. So the belly pains and the swellings are ignored somewhat and then, lo and behold the gut bursts. Worse part of that is that often enough there is GREAT RELIEF of pain for a few hours to a day, until sepsis sets in, because the gas is relieved. It's a problem. I don't know what her "advocates" knew or when they knew it, but it may not be entirely their fault. My brother's love was a newly tenured professor, a young man in his 30s, and this is exactly how he died. I have seen patients die after perforation during a colonoscopy, and they were one day of pain, another with gas and swelling, and then boom, in with sepsis and died quickly. So it can happen.
I am glad you aren't being manipulated to act against what it took you years to understand; I know you can hold your own; take good care.

Alva, I understand that they may not be entirely to blame, my mom has told them stories about how she has been victimized by her family. I know they were doing what their friend wanted, I just operate so very differently then my mom and her friends. I don't jump because of emotion and they use it to try and manipulate.

The story is that my mom couldn't get out of bed from Thursday to Tuesday, when she was finally able to fall out and crawl to the phone and call 911. That's what makes it so terribly frustrating that they didn't think she was that serious. They panicked when the word cancer came up. That's what prompted the call.

I am not as worried about the cancer as I am the perforation. I know how deadly that is and I'm like, let's get her through the immediate danger before we worry about something that is what it is. It may be a mute point if she doesn't beat the perforation and the infection from it. Yes, she did/does have an infection and they haven't gotten any cultures back yet. Which is concerning. The doctor said she is on a general antibiotic and the culture will tell them where to go from here.

I completely understand her friends having her back, they just didn't IMO. But I have a different concept of what that looks like and I had been told they were her MCPOA. Which wasn't true.

It is just a mess.

I will do what is in my power to do to help her. And right now, I do not know what that is and that is the direct result and consequence of her games.

The case worker just called and said because she is awake and able to communicate all decisions are hers to make, Thank You Jesus! Because I know that no matter what I do, it will be wrong and unappreciated. This is her choice, sadly.

ITRR,

I still think that they should have called you. I suppose since they are only one side of the story, they got sucked into believing everything that your mom is telling them.

There’s always more than one side to a story. It’s a shame that they aren’t more open minded.

I bet the hospital staff are able to see a more accurate picture of your mom’s situation since you have been in contact with them.

(((hugs ITRR))))

Need, I think they should have called too, because it was so serious. I can understand not calling for something minor, kinda.

They shared some stories with me that my mom had told them, gee whiz that woman missed her calling, she could of been a fiction writer.

The crazy thing about them believing these stories is that they have seen me visit for decades, 2021 they watched her dogs while I took her on vacation and they never stopped to question why she would go with me considering all the stories. However, I know they are her friends and the saying "birds of a feather, flock together " explains some things.

It is a sad situation when you want to be there for someone but, history has proven time and again that you better protect your back and be prepared for the totally unexpected response to your kindness. Boundaries is the word always with these personalities!

Alva, the nurse said she was getting nutrition because she had a bm.

They are impressed with her progress. I could have told them she was to mean to die from this.

I don't know if she is totally out of the woods yet, they are hesitant to commit to much, which leads me to believe she isn't but, progress and that's a good thing.

Awaiting a call from the doctor unless she puts a stop to it, which is entirely possible with her.

ITRR,

I adored my grandfather. He was larger than life to me.

One of my favorite things to do with my grandfather was gardening. He taught me a lot of things about life in his beautiful garden.

Of course, I was young and a lot of what he said went right over my head. Still, I think he knew that one day I would understand what he was saying.

One thing that he said to me was, “Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you what you are like.” Ahhhhh, so true. My grandfather would have liked you very much. He believed the very same thing that you do.