Asking for prayers from all of the forum members that pray.

Well, @Isthisrealyreal ... we are at a new stage in our lives.

Life without the comfort of your mother being around.

I will continue to pray for you as you grieve.

Cuz Lord knows...thus grieving is hard. If anyone was looking at me too closely today...they probably would have seen the tears in my eyes.

@Alvadear and Leolonnie1 : thanks

ITRR says to Exveemon: "Your patients are lucky to have a praying doctor."

Amen to that 1,000,000x over. I think mine prays to the hair gel gods personally.

Exveemon, your beautiful prayer brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so very much, each voice lifted to Our Heavenly Father brings answers.

My mom was very blessed with the care she received from ALL the medical professionals and caregivers.

Your prayer was answered, as were all of the prayers offered on her and our families behalf.

Your patients are lucky to have a praying doctor.

ITRR,

You make an excellent point about missing certain things. Great warning to people who have parents that have animals.

How many times does dementia go missed too? I bet many health situations aren’t picked up on immediately.

I believe that I definitely missed my mother’s early signs of dementia.

We all missed her early signs of Parkinson’s disease. Daddy took mom to the hospital for seizures that she was having and that is when she was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease.

Lol. Seriously.

Exveemon, RealyReal's mom passed some time ago. If you course down the thread you will see her notes to us. It's good to see you on Forum again, and I hope you are doing well.

Holy father in heaven. I pray for this family.
For indeed the suffering of the mother is a suffering for the whole family.
I pray that in this time you may draw them closer to each other. May your holy spirit strengthen them for the battle up ahead.

We as medical professionals do our part within our human limitations. I pray that you bless the medical staff assigned to her with wisdom and graceful hands.

And for what is beyond our human capabilities Lord; I pray to you, for all things are possible in your name.

I pray Lord that whatever the outcome your will be done....that you may have mercy on this family and strengthen their hearts.

Amen.

Hang in there friend. Its about to get rough. But

Prayers up for you and your family.

As I told you, RR, that failure to launch messages happened to me, and to Bandy as well. Frustrating when you write as long messages as we do (perhaps a lesson). When I got hold of the admin they said that sometimes happens when someone reports a comment (and indeed I had offended an OP that day). There is some "ticket" thingy if you can imagine until admins check it out and set you free. Or not. I think yours was some accident as you haven't even been here for a while. And now stuck? Keep at that email I gave you so you get personal help; so frustrating when you put out a whole lot of thought and bingo it is gone. With mine (and Bandy's) it would stay on screen looking like it posted for some seconds, then poof.

Busy is happy. So if you are away because of that it's all good. Just know we miss you and want you back.

Great input about dogs, and noticing what's happening with our animals.

Thank you gals for offering your support and encouragement to stick around. It means a lot :-)

I am still being booted off randomly, before it happened whenever I clicked on anything. So, improvement? Hopefully, the new admin will sort the problems out. I have been able to post 1 time without being bumped, yay! Maybe this post will make it the 2nd time.

I spoke to my mom's neighbors daughter, the one that helped her so much and her family is being blessed by the gifts from my mom and I am so very happy for them. The dogs are being cared for with lots of love, they are getting the long deferred vet care they needed, they are on diets, they are being pampered by their new doggy momma and that is the best news.

I want to say, I missed my mom's loss of function, when it should have been so obvious looking at her dogs. If you notice an otherwise well cared for animal being neglected or over fed or ???, please look closer. I thought it was my mom being her mentally ill self and hindsight tells me it was her losing the ability to see and process obvious chores and needs in everyday life. There is not much I could have done, except, get the dogs to the vet but, just knowing that things are becoming a challenge can help us be more compassionate and less frustrated and that is tremendously beneficial for all involved.

I will be around as I am able, I truly am busy beyond words, my day starts at 4:30am and I hit my pillow at 8:30pm, I am exhausted! But, things will calm down and I will have more then 10 minutes with my coffee in the morning to read and respond here.

Have a blessed day each and every one here!

Oh, Lea,

How exceptionally beautiful your message to RR is. I read it three times. It is incredibly beautiful.
RR, if this won't make you stay, then nothing will, and if you want to move on, truly WANT THAT, then I will have to let you. But I hope you will stay. Take vacations from it if you need to, but I hope you won't leave us. I so agree with Lea, that there are times we help that we don't know until a lot later if at all. You have always had such good solid advice for people. Don't leave.

Lea, thanks again for one more visual of your lovely heart. No surprise you have all the love you have. No surprise at all.

Don't leave. Don't let the IT issues that go on here stop you from spreading your message which many people need to hear. We don't realize how many people lurk and read what we say but don't comment. We sometimes wind up making a big impact on someone's hopeless situation w/o even realizing it. I've gotten messages like that recently, quite a few that blew me away. "You saved my sanity bc you said I needed to look after MYSELF too while caring for mom." Just like your message to others here, "You matter too!" And "Do not let your loved one suck your life force before you implement changes that help you help them, they DO NOT get to decide what you need to do for them, period."

THIS is the useful and Godly message that social media is excellent for. When we all put aside the petty in-fighting and stay focused on spreading the message, then we make a difference in people's lives. What an opportunity!

I'm not sure I realized this until recently. Having thoughts of leaving here myself for various irritating things. IT being just one.

Then I got sick and so many here reached out to genuinely help me, research issues, send me links, listen to me want to give up and reel me back in. To inject me with piss and vinegar again and choose to accept the challenge that faces me, the biggest one of my life. People who choose to ride this crazy rollercoaster WITH me every day. I wake up to look at my messages and posts and they fill me with hope.

I feel truly reenergized by THIS GROUP OF PEOPLE on Aging care which includes you. You reached out to me in AZ with tips and ideas about everything from not burning Honeys paws in the heat to staying properly hydrated. And how not to have our car eindows explode! 😁😂 You followed our transplant journey when my own step children were hating on me and ignoring their own father, which they are still doing btw. I had more support HERE than in "real life" bc truly, we comprise the REALEST people on earth!

What may have started out as a lark or a time killer or asking a simple question about an annoying elder has, for many of us, turned into a very real support network of folks that care more about us than some of our own family. Our chosen family can often make more impact on our lives than our given families.

Stay and fight the good fight with the newbies and the "old timers" who know how real the deal is here. Avoid the nonsense and type out your comments in Word or copy paste them before you hit Post Comment. Share your wisdom with people who are desperate to hear it, whether you realize it or not. You do make a difference bc you have for ME. Thank you.

We all need one another here, more than we may even realize. My prayer tonight is that the admin and IT dept at A.C. see what a valuable support tool they have here, and get off their azzes to fix a problem that should have resolved long ago.

Xoxo 😘 Xoxo

ITRR: Good to see you back.

ITRR, nice to see a post from you. Sorry for the tech troubles.

Lately, I've had this feeling that it's time for me to move on from AC. I don't plan to leave, but it's been a feeling because of how intense revisiting my grandmother's end-of-life was for me.

After any emotional experience, I suppose it's normal for us to become introspective and think about changes. And many AC users do leave after their LO's pass. You'd be giving a gift to the forum to stick around and weigh in on things you have experience with, and share in the support here.

itrr - glad to see you posting again. Hope you stay and continue to share.

Real, you could never be obsolete. If you are then I am too. But you are not!

RealyReal, I know I posted the email for you to contact Ashley. Please do that. A few of us had that thing with posting happen to us and it was cleared as soon as we reported it.
You are one of the site regulars who is just not expendible. We all DO miss you. I hope you will stay. Your advice to others is so solid. I would hate to think that wouldn't be here for the OPs. I still miss Ahmijoy for the great advice she gave. Now GardenArtist appears to be gone. There are some, like Lea, so reliable for great advice, that their loss would be terrible. You are one of those.
And please write: AshleyH@aplaceformom.com about the glitch you are experiencing in posting. They have us all patched up for now. Don't leave!

So good to hear from you, ITRR!

Need, Joanne, Amy and everyone that has posted about "Where I am?" and to offer condolences, Thank you all so very much.

I am around, reading a bit. I keep getting booted off the forum and to be honest, I figure I am becoming obsolete and the powers that be are probably trying to get rid of me. Well, it might work, because I don't have the time or patience to deal with typing out posts only to hit post and get booted.

I will still be around reading about Lealonnie's testimony of healing, because I believe she will be, reading PMs, when able, and seeing how you all are. Because many of you are dear to my heart and my heart goes out to every poster here because they are in desperate situations with their loved one(s).

A couple things that I pray every caregiver embraces for themselves, "You matter too!" And "Do not let your loved one suck your life force before you implement changes that help you help them, they DO NOT get to decide what you need to do for them, period."

May The Lord God Almighty bless each and everyone of you exceeding abundantly as you walk this path you are on. :-)

ITRR,

Where have you been? We miss you!

Isthis,

I am so sorry for your loss. I know its been a month but I really don't follow discussions all that much.

@IsThisRealyReal I am
Sending my deepest condolences to you

Herfirst, my mom passed away on the 16th.

Thank you.

What is her first name?

Midkid, I love, love, love your recent message. I, as a nurse, was PRIVILEDGED to be at the bedside of many of my patients when they passed. As a result I have ZERO fear of death. I truly believe it is our last great adventure. I admit to fearing pain and suffering; particularly as a young nurse, when there was no hospice, when there was no administration of good pain medications due to fears of medical personnel that they might hasten death, I saw much suffering. At the end of my career I did not. And I will say, as an atheist that in those last moments there is something.....something I cannot understand until I make that journey and it is something I have utterly NO FEAR of. That's my personal witness. I believe that you are spot on when you posit that when we die, life is HAPPENING> I believe that with all that is in me. My family calls me the "death angel" because I am quite into the experience, little I know about it. I always tell them that moniker could get me in trouble.
The Buddhists I cared for would not allow patients/family members to be touched for some hours after death, usually about 12. There is something in this I agreed with.
It is a subject with so many taboos in our society and I think that is a great shame, in fact. A great shame. I so wish it were otherwise. This passage, for me, is the last great mystery. Do I want to do it today? No. My daughter is visiting from out of town, and I am amidst a great cat fishing podcast. But do I fear it? Never. Not for a single second.

ITRR, just saw your post now. My condolences on the shockingly quick passing of your mom. Difficult or easygoing, its always a gut wrenching thing to see your mom deceased, and to process all the emotions colliding w each other. I'm glad you cried.

"Tears are God's gift to us, our holy water. They heal us as they flow."
-Rita Schiano

Sending you a hug and a prayer for peace.

I asked someone once why people so fear death and the answer he gave me was this (paraphrased).

"The FINAL leap of faith that is life happens when we die. We may likely have believed firmly in an afterlife all our lives...but, being human, there is this veil between us and the next life. That's our bodies. When we die (and we ALL will) we simply move from one room to another. Yet we see people balk at the inevitable and become angry at, what? God? The selfsame God who gave us life and all the joy that comes with it? It's the final act of courage and of allowing ourselves to 'let go'.

I'm sorry for your mom's anger--being angry at God is so pointless, but it helps some people to deal with what's happening.

ITRR,

I have always admired your independent spirit. You cared for your parents and accepted them as they are. That’s an important lesson for everyone to learn. You knew how to protect yourself and live a fulfilling life of your own.

So many of us wasted our time trying to change our situation when it was not going to happen.

None of us have the power to change anyone else’s behavior. Change doesn’t happen when a person is set in their ways and unwilling to change.

We can voice our opinions until we are blue in the face and our parents still want things done their way.

You knew how to deal with your parents and you moved forward in your life. You never allowed yourself to become crippled by their situations.

We do cry afterwards. Sometimes, our tears are about ‘what could have been or it didn’t have to be this way.’

Family dynamics are complicated. People don’t usually treat others the way they treat their family. You would think that people would treat their family better than they do. I suppose the silver lining is that we learn how to break cycles and not treat our own spouses and children the same way that we were treated.

Sp, she could try all she wanted, it didn't effect me negatively or create drama for me.

Just so you know, distance isn't a sure fire solution to not getting dumped on by jekyell and Hyde.

Real, big (((((hugs))))). I'm sorry to hear about your mom's passing. You did good to honor your mom's wishes. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Events like this deepen clarity on what's important in life, I think. Peace and comfort to you.