Being asked favor from friends.

AndyPandy: YOU ARE NOT A JERK. I don't mean to scream at you, but you are not a jerk. Honey, you have your mom with you all the time. That takes a toll. I'm so happy to hear she is healthy and on her best behavior, but she is still there. She's been with you for 10 years.

How long have you been married? If you lived with only your child and husband, you might feel like these trade off babysitting things were worthwhile to you. Or you might love going to the parks with other moms and sharing thoughts and experiences. Maybe you do that.

When you come home, however, there is something so special about feeling like you are in your own private sanctuary. The house may not be perfectly tidy and the laundry might be piling up, but it is your home. There are no other voices.

I doubt any of your friends have a parent living with them. I think it is wonderful that your mom can live with you and watch her Granddaughter grow up, but I also think it is natural for all of us to want our own nest, our own home, our own privacy and our own space.

Take a look at your life and ask yourself what it is that you feel you need at this time. I think it would be nice for you to have some intimacy in your life. Maybe you can hook up with a friend in your age group that doesn't need babysitting trades and can just have lunch with you. Someone you can talk to who hears what you are saying. You need a place to be you. I don't know how old you are, but if your mom is 80, I'm assuming you are older than those who normally have 3 year olds. I'll check your profile to see if you put in your age. Can't do it now or I will lose this post.

Anyway, tell me more and let's see what others offer too. You are a good daughter, that's for sure. You don't have to be a saint. Hugs, Cattails

cattails: Thank you for your kind comment. I really appreciate that. I hope I am not a jerk but sometime I feel like a jerk or selfish and may be I appear that way to my friends....and I feel guilt.

Since you asked, here is my situation. I am 47years old Asian living in USA almost 30years. I've been married for 5years, had a first and only baby when I was 44years old. When my dad past away, my mom came to live with me in US, She speak no English or read. And it's been 10years since. After she moved in with me, I immidiately started to notice some inconvinience in some situation, especially translating everything, loss of privacy and freedom. After I had a baby she has been very helpfull with babysitting,but for some reason things are getting worse in my head and emotions. I feel the need to include her yet I also feel strong need to create my own family without feeling her presence.
I feel guilt because she have very few friends here who speak her language,I know she long for companionship from me. But laterly I have been very distant from her, almost avoiding to communicate with her except bare nessesity. I finally decided to go to see thrapist last few month, and I haven't seen much improvement so far in myself.

So,basically my main problem is my current living situation.
But, I started to notice how I am also not capable of certain friendship.
I just get so worked up when I get asked for a favor.

My husband is very helpful with my mom's situation, we sometime laugh that she is the best mother in law since she can not communicate with him,therefore no argument ever! But, about this "favor" situation with friends , my husband thinks I am going overboard and being worked up too much.

AP: How old are these friends who want to trade babysitting? Do you need babysitting or is your mom able to do that for you?

I'm glad you are seeing a therapist and working out some of the issues you have with your mom living with you. That's a great start. Have you mentioned the problem you feel with favors to your counselor?

I don't feel that friendships should be based on favors. I think they are based on a personal connection that draws you to the friend and is returned to you in that special connection that friendship offers. When you say that you are not capable of certain friendships, I am guessing that you don't like friendships that ask you to do things you don't want to do. Like babysitting. I think it's ok for you to not want to babysit other peoples children and if that is what the friendship is based on, then you have some decisions to make.

You are 47 years old. How old are the friends that want you to babysit? Are you really close to them or are they just friends because their children are the same age as your daughter? Do you socialize with them, do they understand you and your life, are they close to you? If you say yes to all of this, then I would see them as really being friends, rather than acquaintances. Acquaintances would be people you have something in common with, like children the same age, but not a real soul connection. You need to tell me, which is it. Are they true friends that you relate to on many levels or nice people who happen to have children the same age as yours?

The bottom line AndyPandy, is if you don't want to babysit other peoples children then you should not do so. You can tell them nicely that you are not able to do that because having you mom living with you puts limits on what you are willing to give up in personal time. Does that make sense to you? I'm just asking because I'm not sure how clear I am at making my point.

I think the biggest thing you have to work on is how to make room for your mom in your household. That's more important than favors to friends. If they are truly your friends, they won't abandon you because you can't babysit.

You are caught in a cultural divide. Your mom needs you to help her navigate the new world she lives in and that ties you down. I was raised in an area that had numerous people from any number of countries and their children and I grew up together. Many of the parents of my friends (mothers mostly) even after 20 years, had not learned English and their children interpreted for them. Still, I felt there was something very holy about their families. They were families and the cooking and meals were amazing. Most of all there was love.

Andy, my suggestion to you is to seek love. It doesn't matter if your only have one or two friends as long as there is love. That's worth much more than 20 friends with three year-olds who need babysitting. If you can keep you mom with you and your daughter can have the benefit of learning a bit about her roots, then that is a blessing. Maybe a little of your moms language too. What a blessing to be able to speak two languages.

I want to mention that my husband and I practically raised our grandchild. She was born when we were 40 and 41 years old. We would have done anything for her, but I would not have wanted to babysit 3 year olds by the time I was 47. I'm now 63 and taking care of my father who needs 24/7 care. He is 89 and had a major stoke last July.

Your family is your husband, your child and your mom. Your friends are those that appreciate what you are dealing with and who support you through the good and bad times.

Stay in counseling and work through your fears and discomforts. You are a very good person and I so respect you going to counseling. You are very wise.

By the way, my brother married a lovely lady from China about 8 years ago. Cultural differences, but lots of love and friendship.

Give me a reply and tell me what you think. I am open to more discussion.

Lots of love, Cattails.

If you don't feel your therapist is helping you, perhaps you would do better with a different therapist. It is not at all uncommon for a therapy patient to switch therapists. It is not that the first one is bad or incompetent -- it is just that you have to "click" with his or her approach.

Your husband is probably right that you are going overboard and being worked up too much. That is one of the reasons you are seeing a therapist, right? You will get this on a more comfortable level.

All of us have the right to turn down requests for favors. (Many people have sure turned down my requests since I've become a caregiver. And many times my requests are granted. That is just how life is.) If it is close friend asking you may want to give a reason, "Rita, I'm just having a hard time in my personal life right now. I'm afraid I am not up to having another little person to be responsible for, even though your Sam is adorable and sweet. It is my problem and I'm dealing with it. I'm sorry I'm not up to helping you right now. I appreciate your patience." If the other mom is an acquaintance rather than a friend, no explanation is necessary. "I'm sorry, Connie, but I just can't take that on right now." This does not make you a jerk and you have no need to feel guilty. Maybe in the future you will be in a better frame of mind about this kind of request. But, really, just because you are a mother is no reason you should automatically want to care for other people's children.

Good luck!

It is better to say no then to say yes when you really do not want to do the favor-a good friend will understand-I have learned to say no to things I do not want to do-but it takes time to get that strong to know what is best for you-I hope you have a good best friend that understands you and how you tick.

cattails: she is around 41-42, and I don't feel very close to her and I am not sure if I want to get too close. Since she ask for more favors as we get close....
I will say she is a one of our circle of friend whom I did get close last year, we mainly did kids play date. which was great, but play date while we also get to enjoy each other and babysitting her kids are differrent to me. I have never asked her to babysit my child.

jeannegibbs: I have been to therapist about 8times and so far I haven't seen much change in myself, but I have never been to thrapist before this so it is hard for me to know what is like to "click" or not click yet. I hope to see more result from thrapy in the near future since it is costing a lot$....

About saying "no" I have done that with her, and letting her know in a nice way.
So she did back off for a while, but time to time she asks again.

195Austin: you wrote "I hope you have a good best friend that understands you and how you tick."
yes, my best friend does understand me that way. but this person seems to not understand "how you tick" after my numerous attempt to send a sign of how I feel. so that does bothers me.

I have a counselor, I cared for my mother with ALZ, I still care for my brother With TBI and ALZ . I think woman are natural care givers and we give till we can not give anymore... Saying no to someone who asks for a favor is hard but ok to do.. It does not make you a bad person... You sound like you know if you were not already responsible for your mother and now having a child that you would do the favor in a heart beat... Please, learn to say no before you are more unhappy,, As far as your mom goes, take it from me, when she is gone you will cherish all the time you have with her..If I may suggest, you find a senior center that she can spend a few hours at, it will be an adjustment but you will get a break from her and she will have an outside interest.... It took me a long time to find a senior center for my mom, after she started there we were both much happier,, she made friends and had such good times there... My favorite memory is of her and my brother getting on the bus to the center together holding hands as they walked to the bus... I was her child yet I was putting her on the bus like she must of done when I went off to school... I was also an abused child so caring for her in the beginning was very difficult...We both came to terms with my childhood and it was an amazing thing.... I hope this is helpfull and please give yourself credit, saying no to a favor is ok.... When your plate is not so full then you can go back to doing favors.... By the way, a stay home mom is probable the hardest job out there.....

Andy, I don't think you are selfish at all. Maybe you could try a little experiment and ask your friend to do YOU a favor and see how she responds. If she wants nothing to do with it, then perhaps she is one of those people who sees "friends" as someone who will do for her, and not a mutual give and take, and perhaps that is why you feel a bit tired and perhaps resentful...
I have another thought about your mother, and forgive me if it is inappropriate, as I don't know her situation at all, but I wonder if she would be open to ESL classes? Even if she were only to learn the most basic English, it would be a way for her to make friends, have a bit of independence from you, and give you a break for the couple of hours each week that she is in class. IN my community, the ESL classes are free or low cost, and offered at a "community campus" three times a week. I don't know if a similar resource might be available near you, but if it is, perhaps that might offer you some respite. Sending hugs your way.

Andy, Is it possible that your feelings are hormonal? It is possible that you're heading for an early menopause or at least your hormones are out of whack right now? That could attribute to your the feelings of being overwhelmed too. If I were you, I'd rule out the possible physical side of a problem before I'd ever go see a shrink. And if it turns out you're A-ok, then you need to get out once in awhile with a girlfriend, and goof off. Your mother is NOT joined at your hip, and you shouldn't be treating her like she is. She also needs an outlet other than you. Do some research to see if there are any Asian activities going on in your area that she could get involved with. I would think it would be very appealing for her to talk to people her age without having to go thru a translator. Check into it. And make sure you and your husband are going on a 'date' at least once a week too. Don't let that relationship falter, cause then you're in DEEP trouble.

kh2oman: when i read " take it from me, when she is gone you will cherish all the time you have with her.." tears came to my eyes. I know you are totally right and I have been thinking about that a lot laterly. It is a good reminder to read it again. And thinking that way helps me . We do have a great senior center but she does not speak English, so that just not work for her at this moment,but it is a great suggestion though....
It must be hard to care for your mom and brother both. I think you are doing right thing and being very resorceful to help your situation, I need to do that in someway. so I can coupe. I have time...just my emotional plate is too full at this time....I need to find better words or way to explain that some how to my friend.

bandit8it: In our area we did not have ESL for asian, so I initially hired a tutor for her who speaks her language. I did not have much expectation for her to learn English as she hardly recognize even ABC, but with small hope that time with tutor who speak her language can be a fun time for her one hour once a week. After 4months or so,my mom have told me "it was too much for her to learn and she feel pressure as the day of lesson near every week" whatever it means to her but I did end the session since that was her wish at that time. I do sometime regret that....but now she is 80years old and last year one of her eye went blind from accute graucoma,and Esl is probably too late at this stage. I wish if she could at least read a little though... when we go to shopping and she use her bank debit card it is a problem everytime.Especially since every store machine is slightly different. I guess that why she have me to translate...

I love Nancy H's suggestion about hormones. Perimenopause is a real "thing."

But what I came to add, actually, is that sometime people start therapy and expect an overnight change. Incremental changes happen that you don't notice, until things have changed so much you suddenly realize they've been different an you didn't see it happen. I don't know that this is what is going on, but it's a reasonable bet. Give it some more time. Things may feel worse before they feel better, but that is normal too -- you start to deal with the things that made you uncomfortable, and that takes emotional juice.

Finally, have you tried telling your friend that you feel sort of used up at the moment -- explain to her what is happening, that you feel like a jerk, etc. Just say what is really true. All that you've said here. Sometimes what makes us tired is the feeling we have to pretend what's really going on...isn't.

Sending love your way.

NancyH: Funny you say that, because I have been googling about "early menopause signs" since I do tend to get either over react or get overwhelmed.
May be I need to check with doctore before i spend all my money at therapist.
Fortuantely,we do get to do date pretty often since my mom is well enough and enjoy watching my child for us. So I am very fortunate that way. Except right now we are kind of arguing over this issue. But what can I say,he is entitled to his opinion " mothers help each other" and I totally agree and he is correct in many ways, yet I am having a problem swallowing that fact. May be I am hormonal?
I know for the fact I am going through "early menopause" last few month.(time of month is started to not come on time, hot flashes for the first time.)

JaneB: yes, I knew it will take time and 8 times of therapy is too early to tell one way or the other, I am waiting patiently. And "pretending" yes, that is part of problem too, like everything is ok,I'm happy to help when I am feeling resentful.
I do wonder if I can do favors for her better if I can say " you know, I have plenty time to do that for you but I really dont feel up to it since I take care of my mom and having some sort of "caregiver's depression" or could be early menapose , it's probably hard for you to relate but I am even going to therapist over this matter spending $125 on 45minutes, you know I wouldn';t spend that kind of money if it wasn't a serious problem for me right? I know I have been avoiding you a little last 5months and that was because I did not want to even use my brain to think "how to explain this to you or how to come up with a nice lie to say "no" to you, but just being asked and saying "no" is a stress for me right now...I know it is sounds selfish or you may not relate to it. But I just wanted to explain to you, I sometime feels like it is easier if I just give you $100 right now so you use that money to hire babysitter so I feel safe till that money run out. Oh, yes I don't mind if you call to chat or get together, in fact i will really enjoy that ,it just when you call me and start using word "I have to ask you a favor" that triggers my depression and I start to resent you,I know I know now I started to sounds like a little nut case right? Well, that's why I didn't want to tell you this problem, I don't want to lose you as a friend since we do have a good time over few glass of wine, and I do really enjoy that time. I really don't want to lose that but do you really feel so comfortable to leave your child with me any more...? No,please I am ok person please don't tell all our friend I'm a nut case "

Hummmm...I kind feel better after i wrote this.

I am not trying to be sarcastic, I really was writing "if I could talk to her in REAL"and it was kind of fun relieving experience than i thought.

I do not think you have to tell her all the details just say you enjoy visiting and having a glass of wine with her but you are unable to babysitt for her at this time and that may change -a person who cares about you will accept and if she does not then you know she is not a friend.

195Austin: Yes, I totally agree. It was more of a play talk in my mind....I would never able to talk to her that way. She might call amburance for me... thinking I need to be locked up,LOL.

I am not even sure if I can bring myself to tell her anything,...

Don't feel guilty! You have a 24/7 job. Maybe your friend would be a sitter for your son & mom? Even if your mom is healthy, you a caregiver. I have found people do not understand our situation unless they have experienced what we go through each day. If she's a true friend, she will understand that you a full plate. Good luck!

You say no, the acquaintence backs off. Then she is back asking again. What to do? Say no again. And keep doing it. Also, since this is not a "friendship" you want to cultivate, try to reduce the number of contacts you have with her.

You are right that a playdate is very different from babysitting. You have a perfect right to decide what you are willing to do for other people. This is not being selfish.

Just say no.

Maybe you should make a date with your friend to go out and have a few glasses of wine. You could tell her while you're out that you're stresses about having Mom in your house and that you've been going to counseling. You could tell her that you're overwhelmed and feel like you're not yourself anymore and that you could use some help. Maybe she could babysit for you for a change if she knows you're at wit's end. Maybe by telling your friend about how stressed you are, it'll make her stop asking you for babysitting. I was a dumping zone for other people's children for years. I think since I had 4 kids, they just assumed that it was "the more the merrier" at my house. I even got caller ID to avoid one woman's calls because her calls were to always ask me for favors. I understand how you feel - selfish to say no, resentful to say yes. You've got too much going on to be a dumping zone. Maybe some English CD's for your mother? I just got Italian CD's. I haven't tackled them yet though. Seems like when I have spare time, I'm checking on my invisible friends on this website!

We may be invisable but we become good friends usually.

Lilygirl:you said "I have found people do not understand our situation unless they have experienced what we go through each day." which is most likely true. Because if I never lived with my mom, i would of never undersood this. I would of looked at someone in my situation and thought, "how hard it can be? you have a live in babysitter " you also said "If she's a true friend, she will understand that you a full plate."... I am not sure on this one, I may have to choose ot not be her true friend at this time,which my husband thinks burning my own bridge.... and it does scare me a little but looking back in my past, I just never depended on others, just because. Don't want to hurt or get hurt.

jeannegibbs: Yes, that is the exact point,as you said. Just as soon as she backs off and I feel OK , she comes back with reminder. I guess I just have to take your advice and keep saying "no" . Number of the contact is pretty much diminished to once or twice a month of 3minutes phone call from her to say "Hi" or "favor". And thanks for a note that you think playdate and babysitting is not the same. May be I was not imagining on that one.

JudymW: Sorry you felt you were dumping zone... It has been helpful to see others have similer problems. I don't have 4kids like you, but others see me as stay home mom with built in babysitter...probably.
If they find out all I do is to "check on my invisible friends on web", ....they might start to talk to me on the web,when I don't answer the phone call,LOL.
.

195Austin: Yes, so true. you guys listened to my problems all day and I haven't even bought you a drink!

AndyPandy: Life your life the way you want too. I don't think you are burning bridges because you won't babysit. That's foolish. There is a difference between friends and social contacts. Friends understand you and don't ask you, repeatedly, to do things you don't want to do.

Focus on the people you love and feel blessed with you find a true friend. You don't need a lot of them and most of us only have a few. They are that rare.

Can I also add that I don't think you should push your mom to learn a new language or go out of her comfort zone too much. She is a nice woman, just the way she is and she loves you and your family. She is kind and well behaved. What more could you ask for?

I was going to mention the hormonal issue earlier, but didn't because some time it offends some folks. If you are having hot flashes then you are in the beginnings of menopause. Go to your doctor and see what can help.

You have a lovely family. Dump the baggage and enjoy the love that life has given you. Lots of hugs, Cattails.

cattails: Yes, I should focus on the true friend I have. I totally agree about the difference of friendhip and social contact. I really don't think she is that good of friend to me, if she was, I would of told her about myself and my mom's situation alreay. You said "Friends understand you and don't ask you, repeatedly, to do things you don't want to do." I know that is the right thing. I need to stop making excuse for others, she can not be that dumb or blind to know how I " FEEL ", she is just putting her need first.

I appreciated everyone's helpful idea and suggestion towards my moms English problem. But I know she don't have much left to try(And I feel bad about it, because it is very unrespectable of her to be that way since she did choose to live in this country,she should of tried a little harder...)

"She is a nice woman, just the way she is and she loves you and your family. She is kind and well behaved. What more could you ask for?" That made me teary....I need to focus on positive, and forgett the baggage.
Cattalis,thank you and I really need to re-focus my life.

Andy: I think that people who move to this country should learn the language because language is what connects us all. However, I'm going to give your mom a pass on that. She really didn't move to this country to start a new life. She moved to live with her daughter. I am always impressed with people who know more than one language, but age takes a toll on a persons ability to learn a new language. Your mom does not need to go into the work force, so her need to earn a living is not the motivator.

I don't know where you live, but if there is an Asian community near by, take your mom and your daughter there for a day out. I'm in Washington State and we have a huge Asian community in Seattle. Even if you have to drive a couple of hours, just go for a day and enjoy your heritage. It will be fun for your daughter and your mom will feel respected and proud.

Just some thoughts. Cattails

I think the learning English suggestion was an attempt to find something she might like and make her a little less dependent on you. It wasn't something she is responsible for at this point in her life. Still, she may have another 10 to 15 or 20 years to use it if she did pick up a little English and it might make it easier for her to enter into her grandchild's world. I wouldn't push it as something she is "supposed" to do, but offer it as an opportunity.

But definitely she is lovable just the way she is, and she doesn't need to change to be a wonderful part of your family. Just as you are wonderful, too, and only need to change to the extent that it will make you a happier, more satisfied person.

Certainly you don't need to change because you are selfish or a jerk!! You need to change to be able to prevent others from taking advantage of you without feeling guilty.

My mother had my youngest brother when she was 44. When I hit 44 I thought OMG -- mother was pregnant at this age. Mother was starting all over again with the diapers and the midnight feedings and soon the PTA and the school conferences ... OMG. I think that having a baby in your 40s has its built-in stressors that we can handle more easily in our 20s. It might be the most wonderful thing in the world to have that baby. It might fulfill your life's dream. You may have zero regrets about it. But it still adds stress to your life. And having your wonderful mother live with you may be exactly what you want, but there are still stresses associated with it. I hope your therapy sessions can help you deal with the stressful sides of your family situation.

Good luck to you and keep us informed. We care!

cattails: Thanks for understanding about language thing for my mom. Even though she is in good health, she has developed high blood pressure which is now under controll by medication and lost one eye vision form accute graucoma. One more thing she have coming is arthritis in her knee,but still loves to work in the yard. and surprisingly, she does have few friend who speaks her language. In last 10years, she had 5friend whom her age (which was almost a miracle in this small community, they all live within 10-20minutes) ,then lost 2 of then already. They got alzhimers and past away. On of them even attended my wedding 5years ago!
Her motivation to live....is probably ME and my child. But I know I really need to step up and be more communicable towards her. That's the main reason I started to go to counseling. I know I'll regret a lot.... Tomorrow is my counseling day, I hope to see the something. I mainly talked about my friendship problem in this thread, but all and all it was a good reminder about my mom. So, thank you again. I have read your profile, and "but we carry on." really got me. I need to do that But CARRY ON.

jeannegibbs: I need to try to be "happier, more satisfied person. " I will try and trying might help me in many ways. I know I do need to change or figure out my hormons(!) going rampage about friend , it freaks out my husband. He just can't believe how I can go off such a deep end for 24hours just from"favor".

I now realize, I was very lucky to have a healthy baby at 44! I never planned to have a child ,so it was a total surprise to me. Now I wish if I started a lot earlier, and I probably wanted to have at least one more,LOL.
I am glad to hear, may be I have an extra stress from toddler, I often feel that too.

Thank you so much for all the help and wonderful advices and friendship here online. I really appreciate. And it was nice that I didn't have to waite many days to see replies.

Andy: Bless you. You are such a good person. Just think of all the changes you have experienced in the past 10 years; you mom coming to live with you, getting married and having a child. That's enough to keep you busy with so many adjustments. Add menopause to that and you have it all happening at the same time.

If you are going on a rampage for 24 hours when you social friend asks you to babysit, then that's over the top. Meaning it's an over reaction. I think it's hormonal, but talk to your doc and keep telling your friend no. After you tell her no, try to picture a cookie jar, put her and your reaction to her in the cookie jar and put the lid on it. Take a few minutes to sit in a quite place, close your eyes and visualize this. Maybe you should take some meditation classes. It could be very helpful to you as it has been for so many others.

Andy: Every day give your mom a hug and thank her for helping you and being in your life. Tell you sweet child how much you love her and that she is the light of your life. Tell you husband that you need his support and that you are taking steps to understand more about your self.

Love and blessing to you. Cattails.

Hi Andy, Ladies,

Yes, the language suggestion was offered as something that might make your life and Mom's easier, but only if Mom was inclined to learn, and the classes were available...I am aware of the social friendships that develop in those classes and really saw it as having benefits for all, but it is a moot point if they are not available where you live. At 80, I also give Mom a pass if she doesn't want to learn English. I don't think it's disrespectful...if she was 21, sure. But at 80, I respect her past, and the difficulty of trying to learn English now.
I like the idea of other friends who speak her language that she could socialize with, but I'm guessing that you have looked into that. Are there any religious or cultural organizations or other avenues for meeting people who share Mom's language that you haven't tried?
My husband developed friends at the brain injury program he attends, and it has been a godsend, as he developed outside interests and supports. Friends pick him up and take him out for coffee, to breakfast, to a basketball game. In having those friendships, he did not mind my having friendships or supports, either.
Therapy DOES take time, but it is also about fit. LIke friendship, there are some people you can talk to easily, and some who you will never feel fully able to open up to. Andy, if you trust your therapist, but just haven't gotten where you want to be yet, that is one thing, but if you still have second thoughts, or aren't fully comfortable after even 3-4 visits, maybe the fit isn't so good. The right therapist feels like someone you can trust completely. Sometimes that is like a best friend, sometimes like a supportive parent or relative, sometimes like a mentor or teacher, but always, it should feel comfortable, relaxed, and safe. If it doesn't, the person may still be a good therapist, but may never be right for YOU.
You are a kind and thoughtful daughter, and a caring mother, but no one can be those things 100% of the time. It's impossible. Give yourself a pass. Give yourself permission to have a bad day once in a while, or to NOT want to spend time taking care of someone. You are human. It's a hard job. Most people don't understand. The people here do.
It's a beautiful day here in New England this morning, and the birds are singing. Sending a dose of sunshine to all you lovely ladies (and any lurking gentlemen caregivers who pop their heads onto the board).
Good morning!