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I have gotten so much good, helpful advice the last few years from this group. My mother got sick last November with sepsis; went to a nh for rehab (miracle she survived the sepsis). It became clear very quickly that she was not going to come home and had given up completely. The nursing home took abysmal care of her (only my husband stopping in daily for two months kept them from killing her). I was able to get back home from my job in late January just in time to close on two houses, move, and see her get a second round of septic shock. She was also bleeding internally somewhere but couldn’t withstand the tests necessary to figure it out. I had her HCPOA and we decided that her DNR would be engaged. She went to hospice on a Tuesday and my sister finally decided to put in an appearance on Thursday. She passed very peacefully on that Friday evening. The hospice and hospital were top notch. Very helpful with hard decisions and her comfort. My sister stuck around long enough to grab some jewelry and high tailed it home before any hard work could begin. It was a long few months, but in the end she went to be with my dad like she wanted and I really felt we all (hubby and I) did the best we could. It’s still not completely sunk in, but I’m sure it’s coming.

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I'm so sorry but glad her pain and suffering are over. It will sink in. Right now you are probably in that unbelief stage. Take good care of yourself and get your rest now. Prayers for you and your family.
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Tluther,

You and your husband were a huge blessing to your mom.

May you have peace knowing you did everything you could and she is no longer suffering.

The Lord bless you and your husband for all you have done.
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I am so sorry for your loss. Heal well from your pain.
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I'm glad to hear that your mom passed peacefully and that she is now with your dad. I hope and pray that you now will have peace that you did did the very best you could under the circumstances, and that you won't start with the would haves, could haves or should haves, as that will get you nowhere fast.
So now please take time to take care of yourself and your husband, and allow yourself time to grieve your mom.
God bless you.
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My condolences on the loss of your dear mom. Sending you a hug & a prayer for peace.
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So sorry for your loss and the tough journey you and your family have endured. I hope you’ll find peace and comfort in the days ahead
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Sorry for ur loss.
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You were a wonderful and loving daughter to her. May you find some peace and comfort in knowing that she is now with your dad.

should you feel the need for bereavement counseling, some hospice groups provide this for caregivers and immediate family as an extension of the MediCARE hospice benefit.
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Tluther
I agree. The last awful days go so slowly but then it seems a blur. I wish you comfort and peace and the long lasting knowledge that you did your best.
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So glad to hear your good assessment of hospital and hospice. We mostly hear the complaints. I always said that about being a nurse and when on oncology it became so clear we were seeing the situations that didn't go well; there were so many who were healed, for whom it went well. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you are left with good memories and at least relief that there need be no more fear of suffering for the one you love.
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Deepest condolences on your loss.
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dear tluther,

my deepest condolences to you.
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So sorry for your loss.
And for the surrounding sibling dysfunction causing you more grief.

Hoping your pain is eased, as you miss your Mom.

Focus on the good things you will be recalling about your Mom.
You can tell us.
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