A funny thing happened in the checkout line...

Meh, the busybody was lucky you didn't smack her the packet of turkey. Should have told her it was "extra high sodium" lunch meat for when you don't want things to drag on too long. (was that humor too dark?)

What a jerk!
People have no manners. Your response was great!
My mom won't eat rice or noodles--it throws her off her whole meal and she'll just push everything on her plate around...'I'm not that hungry''. BUT...will eat spaghetti. It took me a while to figure that one out.
Whatever it takes so that they eat, right? The last thing a caregiver needs is a food battle.
Fun Fact: My co-workers asked a nephrologist what the actual cooking equivalent of the adult daily requirement for sodium was, and he told us it was about a teaspoon.
So unless you're dredging those chicken and turkey slices in salt before making that sandwich I'm thinking Karen doesn't need to worry. LOL!

SeaMar your story made my day!

Fyi I was giving my Dad as much cheese as possible during his last months. Mom kept feeding him what was good for her, not him, and he was getting so super skinny. Didn’t like to eat but boy he loved enchiladas. He died of cancer and if his cholesterol edged up those last 6 months then so be it!

Cheers to you!

The Gall of the person. People feel the can say and do anything. Good for you. Hope it made you feel really good. And I agree, after a certain age, let them have what they enjoy.

I find it best just to ignore Nosy Nellies. No need to engage, you’ll only get aggravated. You don’t need to show up for every argument you’re invited to.

Hey, You are doing a wonderful job by caregiving, ignore people who crash on your good deeds because they are only thinking of themselves.

good comeback on your part. i have never had any issues that way at the store and hope i don't. depends on the type of day you are having could result in a nice comment, a rough comment, or one like you gave. thanks for the laugh.

Love your story in the Target Line. I'm glad you let Nosy Nellie know that a little lunchmeat is not going to do any harm and that you offered her a turn at 24/7 hands on care taking. If she ever finds herself in a situation similar to years, she may remember your encounyer and think, " OMG! Now I know what that lady in Target in 2021 was talking about! Have a bologna sandwich , Grandma! "

I'm suspicious of your account because of describing the person behind you as a Karen, a political hate term solely intended to insult. I am a caregiver for my sister living with dementia. I never had an account here before but felt the need to point out what makes me doubt that it was all a one sided exchange.

Wow, so many things you could have said run through my mind and none of them would have been as kind as your words.

I'm at the place with my husband (prognosis in the spring was no more than two years left to live) that food is not going to be one of the battles I choose. If he wants to eat those salty steamed crabs and deal with the results the following week, that's his choice.

My 90yo father eats turkey lunchmeat all the time. He'll probably outlive my husband.

“Well good for you Karen, knowing where you want to get your sodium and where you don’t. I’m a full time caregiver and am well trained on the balances so I’m purchasing these with my eyes wide open. I’m also very careful about keeping a safe distance both for myself and my patient, Thanks” insert nice big put her in her place smile.

What a pest. I hate those types of people.

I get it! I’m right there with you! The LAST thing you need is some stranger interjecting their opinion about your food options when you’re busting your rear end and sacrificing your own life to take care of someone else.
Here’s hoping that today is a better day!
You’re awesome for what you are doing!!!

I hope you'll really give yourself a break from caregiving during those two hours, if you possibly can. When you are picking up food for your loved one, that's still working. Take a break for yourself. Also, what a rude person! I do believe that mental illness is more common than we think (smile). Best wishes with your loved one!

Only another caregiver would find your story hilarious! I loved it. Yesterday was supposed to be my four hours of "me time" a week. The caregiver from the agency who comes to stay with my husband did not show up. I was going out for lunch and then shopping at Costco (my favorite store). I was a little ticked off, but my husband was in a good mood so all in all it was a good day. I really look forward to my time "off." I'm always glad we have this place to vent. It makes me feel that I am not alone. Thanks for your post.

LOL

I've thought long and hard about the food I feed my husband, who is 80 with LBdementia and severe aorta valve stenosis and if he wants ice cream for b'fast then I am fine with that. He can only have a couple of sugary foods a day as he drinks a lot of juice for dysphasia reasons, but he gets 3 really good meals morning noon and night while he is slowly but surely dying. He has been incontinent for years so I am careful to feed him good food=no diarrhea hopefully. The dementia keeps him from keeping his Depends ON so it is a constant and daily battle to keep his body fluids inside his body! lol. He eats on a schedule, which helps regulate his body/bowels etc and seems happy, tho' loopy. You know what I mean.

Sounds like your MIL is lucky to have you caring for her SeaMar. Sorry you had to deal with such a pushy, rude, inconsiderate person. With all you're going through you didn't need that. No one ever needs that. I'm glad you spoke up in the way you did. Hopefully she got it that just because she's in a hurry doesn't mean the cashier can go any faster in dealing with other customers, and that you can't tell what someone else's situation is so she should keep her proselytizing to herself. We are all going through stuff.

Your story is different but reminds me of a situation one of my Mom's aides told me about. She actually got into a physical altercation in the checkout line of a supermarket when the woman in front of her claimed she'd shoved her cart into her back. That led to shouting and both women actually shoving the cart back and forth into each other. I'm glad your experience didn't escalate to something like that.

We all need to be made aware that what we say and do can unintentionally be hurtful to others sometimes. Thank you to Rick10 for pointing out the use of the name "Karen" in such an insulting way. As you can see by my screen name my name is Karen. Ironically, considering the current negative connotation of "Karen" my middle name is Joy. It's gotten to the point where I'm embarrassed to tell people my name. It hurts a little every time I hear my name used like that. Even my husband asked me yesterday if he should call me "Joy" in public. It helps, though for me to remember that when I told my Dad many years ago that I never much liked my name he responded that when I was born he and Mom loved me so much that they named me "Care and Joy" (Karen Joy).

Ffeel free to rant here. ❤. Trying to help my mom with financial stuff. *All* I needed to do yesterday was pass the phone to her so she could give permission. (6 hour round trip; I'm the only one in my office b/c vacations. I already work 6 days a week and was each g back to work after.) Anyway, she gave them her wrong birthday!! I got "reprimanded" for "coaching" her. Now we're gonna have to do things the hard way with a letter that she's incapacitated from her doc. Who's on vacation. How li g you think that will take?

😁That,s why we are here!

Good Lord what is wrong with people being so nosy and rude?!

I know I am over fighting with my mom, 85, over her diet and eating healthy. I don't need the drama and added stress.
If it is not delivered to her she has a neighbor or her sitter buy certain items for her.

Sounds to me you are doing a wonderful job caring for MIL and she is happy.

You need more time for yourself. Can you hire help?

We all much need breaks, its too much.

You were so right to give her a life lesson! Your MIL is at the end of her life, what would be the point of her not having something she enjoys?

Bless you and keep doing what you are doing. You seem to have good commen sense. Trust yourself.

Sounds like you have a quick wit and good sense of humor.

I know ONE Karen and she is a true KAREN. Just a total buttinski and has the answer to EVERYTHING. She has been a 'friend' for 50 years and thank goodness I don't have to see her often.

I can just hear that announcement "Cold cut brawl in the self checkout! All associates needed!"

You were right in every way.

Omg, why does she think it's her business?? Bless you for what you do.
No one knows what another person goes through. You're doing a wonderful job. Your MIL is blessed to have you!! (and the Turkey, ha, ha)

👍🏼

After your comment, I almost wish someone would try to tell me how to live my life - just so I could unload on them. 👏

SeaMar, you are awesome!

Gotta ignore people that don’t know you that impose all their assumptions & judgements upon you. I had that happen once 3 months ago. My mom with dementia was fidgeting with the hospital wheelchair to keep herself busy in a waiting room. She’s always hated to wait. A disabled man rushed over & “helped” her angrily as if I was neglecting her. I explained her situation & he sat back down. Her name was called & we went in. We ended up in a 2nd waiting room with you know who there too. He sat there glaring at me without blinking the entire time. I waved & smiled then had to turn my back a bit to him. I’ve sacrificed everything to be her caregiver for 10 yrs now & I know her well. He sees her for a few minutes & has decided he’s the one to judge. It did oddly bother me but I let it go. He really has no idea how long she has been priority #1 in my life & I know she’s as happy as she can be & in good health despite the dementia.