So as many of you know I have been looking into getting my NPD mother out of my home. While she helped around the house with chores and bills (much needed) it was her constant unpredictable and explosive temper. Had to call the Police. I've talked to a couple of attorneys who aren't keen on evicting 'mom'. Here in the South, old people come first. I don't have a POA so can't force anything. One lawyer wanted me to do a conservatorship, which means it would be back to my responsibility to vetting a place, getting her on a list, paying for it, until when and if social programs kicked in and the wait list could be 2 - 3 years for Senior Housing. She's super capable so I resent that she is intentionally forcing me to do all this extra work, on top of my job, house, cancer dog and everything else. Now I see she has some sort of barricade against her door and hasn't been out for a couple of days. Knowing how cunning she is and smart, I'm betting she bought a mini-fridge and is keeping it up there, she's very strong, stronger than me actually. She has her own bathroom and shower. She told me I was going to have to force her out and I guess she is taking a stand. Is it me or is this legitimate crazy? That she has locked herself in? By the way still looking for attorneys. No one will call me back. One attorney told me she's mentally ill and no one will force her to leave.
Once again, we are on the same page. I couldn’t agree with you more! Great advice!
Depending on where she lives, the law may require an actual eviction. I would start the process of eviction.
This woman won’t willingly leave on her own. She’s certifiably crazy! Or if I want to choose the ‘politically correct’ term, she is suffering from ‘mental illness.’ Whatever...she needs to go!
If I had to eat canned soup and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches due to not having her financial assistance, I would do it!
You say:
"My mother is mentally ill and has barricaded herself inside her room for x days with no response". "I need for someone to check on her welfare." They will come, they will document her issues. They will be required to set eyes on her, interview her. Maybe break down her door if she doesn't open it. They will be kind.
If they take her in for observation, or any reason, do not take her back. Ask the doctor to order a safe placement for her, such as a board and care.
She will be coming out soon, if even to get her prescriptions filled and delivered. So you don't go to her door at all.
The whole situation is beyond crazy, but only you can do something to change it. Give her a 30 day notice to vacate your premises, in writing(if that's what you really want), and if necessary(and if she wants your help), you can help find her a new place to live. Oh and by the way, who the hell cares if the "attorneys aren't keen on evicting mom". She needs to be evicted. The sooner the better. You have allowed this mess to take place,(by allowing her to move in with you, when you knew better not to)so now only you can fix it. Quit making excuses and get her out(again if that's what you really want).
I hope that you won’t mind me speaking frankly.
Your story reads like a freakin nightmare! I took a moment to read your profile and messages.
It looks like you have been dealing with this mess since 2015! Why? Just why would you put up with this crap for so long?
I realize it takes time to process your emotions. Take that time now and move forward.
I live in the south too, New Orleans to be exact and I would never accept the abuse that you have for as long as you have.
Yes, you may feel stuck and you did reach out for help with an attorney. I would speak to every attorney in your town until you found one that is empathetic to your needs!
I seriously think that you should make an appointment with a professional therapist, not a life coach but a genuine therapist that is trained to deal with life’s tough situations because you need to sort your emotions out.
You need to speak to someone who is objective in this matter because you are too close to the situation to think clearly.
Obviously, you need guidance for yourself. You could also benefit from speaking to a social worker to help you plan for your mom’s future.
Absolutely proceed with an eviction. If she wishes to remain locked in her room, so be it! At least she won’t be bothering you. Enjoy the peace and quiet!
I am not trying to be harsh. I only wish for you to settle this issue with your mom once and for all.
Once you close the door on this nightmare, NEVER open it up again and live your life for you!
Best wishes to you.