Many times I hear the question: "Are our loved ones (LOs) there, do they know what is going on?"
My mom, Jean DelCampo, was 58 when she came to live with me misdiagnosed with bi-polar disease. Five years later, after 19 days in a psych ward, mom was diagnosed with dementia. Still they are not sure what disease is causing the dementia whether it is FTD, Pick's or Alzheimer's.
It doesn't matter, they just don't know.
Mom chose placement after the rehab stay. It broke my heart but, looking back on it, mom knew she was much sicker than I understood and she did the right thing.
We had many good years together since she was placed in 2005. Her progression was slow but she would have a set back and her condition has advanced consistently.
She is now 72 and in the advanced stages of the disease. She is confined to a wheelchair, has difficulty swallowing...etc.
Mom mostly stares and sleeps, but she can put some words together and knows me. I visit often and she lights up when she sees me. Sometimes she is confused who I am, but I learned to look her in the eye and tell her my name. Her response is, "I'm so happy, I love you, and you are beautiful." She can, to my amazement, recite the Lord's Prayer and remembers many songs from way back when.
Today I was not feeling well, but I stopped in to visit mom. There was a live banjo show, but mom was sleeping. I gently woke her and brought her to a quiet family room they have. She likes it there or in the garden, weather permitting.
I brought her favorite cookies—Fig Newtons—and a Coke. I played her favorite tunes and we sang together.
Out of nowhere, mom said "I am worried about you." I hugged her and reassured her I was okay. Mom has not been able to ask me questions for a long time now. I did not tell her I was not feeling good.
This is not the first time she has surprised me with saying something that mothers often say to their children, out of the blue. It's always something I need to hear.
I had my mom back today just for a moment.
I held back the tears until I got in the car. I miss my mom, but I know that she is there and that she knows what's going on. I believe this is love.
Love is not a memory it's a feeling in the heart and soul, never to be forgotten. This disease can take away almost everything but not the love. Always a mom. I love you mom. ♥