For those of you that have recently lost a loved one, the intensity of your pain may be indescribable, unlike anything you have ever experienced before.
Friends and relatives try to console you by saying that time will heal the pain-and for some this may be true. However, quite often when we lose someone we are very close to, we carry the pain of our grief to our own grave.
Death is inevitable, but knowing this alone does not make it any easier to endure the loss of a loved one. It is through knowledge of the soul's journey that we find comfort and healing.
Death is part of the soul's journey from one lifetime to another, yet our Western society does not understand about death. This lack of knowledge about the soul's journey through death creates unnecessary fear and often leaves us unprepared for the roller coaster of emotions that we experience when we are facing our own death or the death of a loved one. These emotions are part of the natural grieving process, but again, we know little about that process until we are immersed in the intensity of these emotions.
Coping with the Loss of a Loved One
As the "baby boomers" age, many of us are facing a time in our lives when the welfare of our parents has now become our responsibility. Walking with a parent to the doorway of death can be an amazing experience, even considered a privilege. If your parent is able to communicate with you, take this time to share family stories or to reminisce about your joyful childhood memories. Tell them you love them, even if you are typically uncomfortable expressing your emotions verbally now is the time to try. This may become a treasured moment that can bring both of you great comfort in the future. The dying loved one needs to have the opportunity to express their thoughts as well. This is part of their closure with life and their relationships.
If their life journey is coming to an end, it is the family's responsibility to is give them permission to cross over, ending their struggle with life.
If your relationship with your parents was perfect, treasure it. All too often our relationship with our parents holds unresolved and painful memories. If a parent dies and a healing has not occurred, you, as an adult child, may experience a sense of abandonment. This may be accompanied by anger that things were not as you desired in your relationship. Understanding where these emotions are coming from can assist you in working through them. The most important key to healing is love and forgiveness. Accept that your parents did the best they could at the time. Find forgiveness for your parent as well as for yourself for any negativity you contributed to the relationship. Holding on to any negative emotions as your loved one is preparing to pass over only contributes to the struggles within your own life. This is a time to open your heart and begin the healing process through love, forgiveness and compassion.
If your loved one is taken from you suddenly, do not feel that you have lost your opportunity to say goodbye. Many of us talk to God or Spirit even though we cannot see him. God/Spirit gives us feelings of comfort, messages of joy and signs that he is present within our lives. Your loved ones in spirit do the same thing. Talk to them and allow yourself to feel the love they have for you. No matter what your relationship was prior to their passing, they return to you in spirit body with unconditional love and are focused on helping you fulfill your life purpose.
Types of Grief Personalities
We all grieve differently depending on our relationships and our personality types. Some of us lose a loved one and are able to hold things together. This is typical for the logical personality type that is in full control of their emotions and chooses not to experience them until they are ready. They are the strength that everyone else relies upon.
Then there is the emotional personality type. They feel their loss with every fiber of their existence and can quickly become caught up on the emotional roller coaster of grief. Their compassionate hearts are the beautiful part of who they are. However, when these individuals are grieving they need the assistance of others to help them survive the intensity of their pain. Without help, grief can begin to sabotage the quality of their life. They must reach out to their family, friends, church or a grief support group.
For some, this time is an opportunity to raise the consciousness of your awareness and experience a closer connection with Spirit. Just because your loved one is no longer in a physical body does not mean that they have abandoned you. The love that you had for each other while you were together in this lifetime is just as intense when expressed through their spirit body-and this love will also go on forever.
The time after a loss can be very painful. Sometimes the pain you are experiencing is simply too intense to allow yourself to heal. Seek the support you need to take care of yourself while grieving. Although it may not seem so in the intitial stages of grief, the pain will pass and be gradually replaced by the memories of a life shared together.