Alcohol Use and Abuse Among Elderly Parents

39 Comments

Anyone at any age can have a drinking problem. Great Uncle George may have always liked his liquor, so his family may not see that his drinking behavior is getting worse as he gets older. Grandma Betty was a teetotaler all her life—she started having a drink each night to help her get to sleep after her husband died. Now no one realizes that she needs a couple of drinks to get through each day.

These are common stories. The fact is that families, friends, and health care professionals often overlook their concerns about older people's drinking. Sometimes trouble with alcohol in older people is mistaken for other conditions that happen with age, but alcohol use deserves special attention. Because the aging process affects how the body handles alcohol, the same amount of alcohol can have a greater effect as a person grows older. Over time, someone whose drinking habits haven't changed may find she or he has a problem.

Some research has shown that as people age they become more sensitive to alcohol's effects. In other words, the same amount of alcohol can have a greater effect on an older person than on someone who is younger.

Some medical conditions, such as high blood pressure, ulcers, and diabetes, can worsen with alcohol use.

Many medicines—prescription, over-the-counter, or herbal remedies—can be dangerous or even deadly when mixed with alcohol. This is a special worry for older people because the average person over age 65 takes at least two medicines a day. If your parent takes any medicines, ask your doctor or pharmacist if they can safely drink alcohol. Here are some examples: Aspirin can cause bleeding in the stomach and intestines; the risk of bleeding is higher if you take aspirin while drinking alcohol. Cold and allergy medicines (antihistamines) often make people sleepy; when combined with alcohol this drowsiness can be worse. Alcohol used with large doses of the pain killer acetaminophen can raise the risk of liver damage. Some medicines, such as cough syrups and laxatives, have a high alcohol content.

Even drinking a small amount of alcohol can impair judgment, coordination, and reaction time. It can increase the risk of work and household accidents, including falls and hip fractures. It also adds to the risk of car crashes.

Heavy drinking over time also can cause certain cancers, liver cirrhosis, immune system disorders, and brain damage. Alcohol can make some medical concerns hard for doctors to find and treat. For example, alcohol causes changes in the heart and blood vessels. These changes can dull pain that might be a warning sign of a heart attack. Drinking also can make older people forgetful and confused. These symptoms could be mistaken for signs of Alzheimer's disease. For people with diabetes, drinking affects blood sugar levels.

People who abuse alcohol also may be putting themselves at risk for serious conflicts with family, friends, and coworkers. The more heavily they drink, the greater the chance for trouble at home, at work, with friends, and even with strangers.

There are two patterns of drinking: early and late onset. Some people have been heavy drinkers for many years. But, as with great Uncle George, over time the same amount of liquor packs a more powerful punch. Other people, like Grandma Betty, develop a drinking problem later in life. Sometimes this is due to major life changes like shifts in employment, failing health, or the death of friends or loved ones. Often these life changes can bring loneliness, boredom, anxiety, and depression. In fact, depression in older adults often goes along with alcohol misuse. At first, a drink seems to bring relief from stressful situations. Later on, drinking can start to cause trouble.

Not everyone who drinks regularly has a drinking problem, and not all problem drinkers drink every day.

Common Signs to Look For

  • Drinks to calm nerves, forget their worries, or reduce depression.
  • Gulps down drinks.
  • Frequently has more than one drink a day. (A standard drink is one 12-ounce bottle or can of beer or a wine cooler, one 5-ounce glass of wine, or 1.5 ounces of 80-proof distilled spirits.)
  • Lies about or try to hide drinking habits.
  • Hurts himself, or someone else, while drinking.
  • Needs more alcohol to get high.
  • Feels irritable, resentful, or unreasonable when not drinking.
  • Has medical, social, or financial worries caused by drinking.

Studies show that older problem drinkers are as able to benefit from treatment as are younger alcohol abusers. To get help, have your senior relative talk to their doctor. He or she can give them advice about health, drinking, and treatment options. Their local health department or social services agencies can also help.

There are many types of treatments available. Some, such as 12-step help programs, have been around a long time. Others include getting alcohol out of the body (detoxification); taking prescription medicines to help prevent a return to drinking once your parent has stopped; and individual and/or group counseling. Newer programs teach people with drinking problems to learn which situations or feelings trigger the urge to drink as well as ways to cope without alcohol. Because the support of family members is important, many programs also counsel married couples and family members as part of the treatment process. Programs may also link individuals with important community resources.

Scientists continue to study alcohol's effects on people and to look for new ways to treat alcoholism. This research will increase the chance for recovery and improve the lives of problem drinkers.


The National Institute on Aging (NIA), one of the 27 Institutes and Centers of the National Institute of Health (NIH) leads a broad scientific effort to understand the nature of aging and to extend the healthy, active years of life.

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39 Comments

My mom is 70 and her alcoholism is worse than ever. She is hateful, mean and nasty. She often causes a sene while in public. I have limited my children and husbands contact with her because of her abusive words. She rencently moved to the state I live in and now I feel guilty that I brought her here to start a new happy life which never happened. It has been suggested to have an intervention for her. Honestly I dont want to for fear of being lashed out at by her and her refusing help leading to her being cut off from my family forever. Is it my responsibility to push her into getting help?
Unfortunately there is no catch all solution. Saying things like "have them talk to a doctor" is about useless when dealing with most alcoholics. They rationalize, lie or blame everyone but themselves.

My father (a jolly drunk) and sister (mom's mini-me) both drank themselves to death at early ages and my mother is on her way... She drinks a 1.75 litre bottle of vodka every day and it has ruined her already fragile life. A lifetime of mental and eating disorders, health issues, an abusive mother, divorces, lack of friends due to her hostility, etc... Led her to the bottle in her mid 50's and now at 65 she's nonambulatory and miserable as she is about to pass from her addiction. Fortunately she was financially secure from a divorce settlement but I feel for anyone having to pay the bills for this selfish behavior.

What I learned is that the key is to accept the fact that they are going to die. Try to cherish any positive moments but distance yourself from any harmful situations. They will vamp the life right out of you otherwise. If they dont want to bathe... Let them rot. Blaming you for their issues? Just smile and keep your trap shut. Sounds harsh but the more you push the worse it will get. Let them go if they are self abusive as it's the best thing for them in the long run.
Your comments have brought me some peace tonight, after getting a phone call at 12:20 am so my mother could "say her peace" about being upset that I had shrimp for dinner and she did not.

I am getting ready to move my family into her basement and am very worried it will end with us not speaking again. (I didn't talk to her for 5 years after moving out of her house when I was 16 due to the physical and emotional abuse she put me through.)

I just can't believe that after so many years of drinking and being so hateful, she can't see that I'm the only one left in her life.

I don't want to get to a point where I'm not speaking to her again. I'm extremely concerned about what feelings will be stirred back up when I move back in with her, knowing the drinking is heavy sometimes.

I wish I had advice for all of us. It's a sad place to be to have such parents that are mean and hateful, but begin to depend on us to take care of them as they age.

I just can't seem to understand why they don't have any reflection on their actions, get help, and make some memories we can be happy about.

God help me if I ever put my children through such abuse!